were declared our comptrollers by express procuration：
〃TO MADAME DE DURAS。
＇Marguerite de Grammont； widow of Jean de Durfort； Seigneur de
Duras； who was killed near Leghorn； leaving no posterity。 Montaigne
seems to have been on terms of considerable intimacy with her； and
to have tendered her some very wholesome and frank advice in regard
to her relations with Henry IV。＇
MADAME；The last time you honoured me with a visit； you found me at work
upon this chapter； and as these trifles may one day fall into your hands；
I would also that they testify in how great honour the author will take
any favour you shall please to show them。 You will there find the same
air and mien you have observed in his conversation； and though I could
have borrowed some better or more favourable garb than my own； I would
not have done it： for I require nothing more of these writings； but to
present me to your memory such as I naturally am。 The same conditions
and faculties you have been pleased to frequent and receive with much
more honour and courtesy than they deserve； I would put together （but
without alteration or change） in one solid body； that may peradventure
continue some years； or some days； after I am gone； where you may find
them again when you shall please to refresh your memory； without putting
you to any greater trouble； neither are they worth it。 I desire you
should continue the favour of your friendship to me； by the same
qualities by which it was acquired。
〃I am not at all ambitious that any one should love and esteem me more
dead than living。 The humour of Tiberius is ridiculous； but yet common；
who was more solicitous to extend his renown to posterity than to render
himself acceptable to men of his own time。 If I were one of those to
whom the world could owe commendation； I would give out of it one…half to
have the other in hand； let their praises come quick and crowding about
me； more thick than long； more full than durable； and let them cease； in
God's name； with my own knowledge of them； and when the sweet sound can
no longer pierce my ears。 It were an idle humour to essay； now that I am
about to forsake the commerce of men； to offer myself to them by a new
recommendation。 I make no account of the goods I could not employ in the
service of my life。 Such as I am； I will be elsewhere than in paper： my
art and industry have been ever directed to render myself good for
something； my studies； to teach me to do； and not to write。 I have made
it my whole business to frame my life： this has been my trade and my
work； I am less a writer of books than anything else。 I have coveted
understanding for the service of my present and real conveniences； and
not to lay up a stock for my posterity。 He who has anything of value in
him； let him make it appear in his conduct； in his ordinary discourses；
in his courtships； and his quarrels： in play； in bed； at table； in the
management of his affairs； in his economics。 Those whom I see make good
books in ill breeches； should first have mended their breeches； if they
would have been ruled by me。 Ask a Spartan whether he had rather be a
good orator or a good soldier： and if I was asked the same question； I
would rather choose to be a good cook； had I not one already to serve me。
My God！ Madame； how should I hate such a recommendation of being a
clever fellow at writing； and an ass and an inanity in everything else！
Yet I had rather be a fool both here and there than to have made so ill a
choice wherein to employ my talent。 And I am so far from expecting to
gain any new reputation by these follies； that I shall think I come off
pretty well if I lose nothing by them of that little I had before。 For
besides that this dead and mute painting will take from my natural being；
it has no resemblance to my better condition； but is much lapsed from my
former vigour and cheerfulness； growing faded and withered： I am towards
the bottom of the barrel； which begins to taste of the lees。
〃As to the rest； Madame； I should not have dared to make so bold with the
mysteries of physic； considering the esteem that you and so many others
have of it； had I not had encouragement from their own authors。 I think
there are of these among the old Latin writers but two； Pliny and Celsus
if these ever fall into your hands； you will find that they speak much
more rudely of their art than I do； I but pinch it； they cut its throat。
Pliny； amongst other things； twits them with this； that when they are at
the end of their rope； they have a pretty device to save themselves； by
recommending their patients； whom they have teased and tormented with
their drugs and diets to no purpose； some to vows and miracles； others to
the hot baths。 （Be not angry； Madame； he speaks not of those in our
parts； which are under the protection of your house； and all Gramontins。）
They have a third way of saving their own credit； of ridding their hands
of us and securing themselves from the reproaches we might cast in their
teeth of our little amendment； when they have had us so long in their
hands that they have not one more invention left wherewith to amuse us；
which is to send us to the better air of some other country。 This；
Madame； is enough； I hope you will give me leave to return to my
discourse； from which I have so far digressed； the better to divert you。〃
It was； I think； Pericles； who being asked how he did： 〃You may judge；〃
says he； 〃by these；〃 showing some little scrolls of parchment he had tied
about his neck and arms。 By which he would infer that he must needs be
very sick when he was reduced to a necessity of having recourse to such
idle and vain fopperies； and of suffering himself to be so equipped。
I dare not promise but that I may one day be so much a fool as to commit
my life and death to the mercy and government of physicians； I may fall
into such a frenzy； I dare not be responsible for my future constancy：
but then； if any one ask me how I do； I may also answer； as Pericles did；
〃You may judge by this；〃 shewing my hand clutching six drachms of opium。
It will be a very evident sign of a violent sickness： my judgment will be
very much out of order； if once fear and impatience get such an advantage
over me； it may very well be concluded that there is a dreadful fever in
my mind。
I have taken the pains to plead this cause； which I understand
indifferently； a little to back and support the natural aversion to drugs
and the practice of physic I have derived from my ancestors； to the end
it may not be a mere stupid and inconsiderate aversion； but have a little
more form； and also； that they who shall see me so obstinate in my
resolution against all exhortations and menaces that shall be given me；
when my infirmity shall press hardest upon me； may not think 'tis mere
obstinacy in me； or any one so ill…natured as to judge it to be any
motive of glory： for it would be a strange ambition to seek to gain
honour by an action my gardener or my groom can perform as well as I。
Certainly； I have not a heart so tumorous and windy； that I should
exchange so solid a pleasure as health for an airy and imaginary
pleasure： glory； even that of the Four Sons of Aymon； is too dear bought
by a man of my humour； if it cost him three swinging fits of the stone。
Give me health； in God's name！ Such as love physic； may also have good；
great； and convincing considerations； I do not hate opinions contrary to
my own： I am so； far from being angry to see a discrepancy betwixt mine
and other men's judgments； and from rendering myself unfit for the
society of men； from being of another sense and party than mine； that on
the contrary （the most general way that nature has followed being
variety； and more in souls than bodies； forasmuch as they are of a more
supple substance； and more susceptible of forms） I find it much more rare
to see our humours and designs jump and agree。 And there never were； in
the world； two opinions alike； no more than two hairs； or two grains：
their most universal quality is diversity。
End