ever achieved the result of a pure and entire victory。
CHAPTER XXXV
OF THREE GOOD WOMEN
They are not by the dozen； as every one knows； and especially in the
duties of marriage； for that is a bargain full of so many nice
circumstances that 'tis hard a woman's will should long endure such a
restraint； men； though their condition be something better under that
tie； have yet enough to do。 The true touch and test of a happy marriage
have respect to the time of the companionship； if it has been constantly
gentle； loyal； and agreeable。 In our age； women commonly reserve the
publication of their good offices； and their vehement affection towards
their husbands； until they have lost them； or at least； till then defer
the testimonies of their good will； a too slow testimony and
unseasonable。 By it they rather manifest that they never loved them till
dead： their life is nothing but trouble； their death full of love and
courtesy。 As fathers conceal their affection from their children； women；
likewise； conceal theirs from their husbands； to maintain a modest
respect。 This mystery is not for my palate； 'tis to much purpose that
they scratch themselves and tear their hair。 I whisper in a waiting…
woman's or secretary's ear： 〃 How were they； how did they live together？〃
I always have that good saying m my head：
〃Jactantius moerent； quae minus dolent。〃
＇〃They make the most ado who are least concerned。〃 （Or：）
〃They mourn the more ostentatiously； the less they grieve。〃
Tacitus； Annal。； ii。 77； writing of Germanicus。＇
Their whimpering is offensive to the living and vain to the dead。 We
should willingly give them leave to laugh after we are dead； provided
they will smile upon us whilst we are alive。 Is it not enough to make a
man revive in pure spite； that she； who spat in my face whilst I was in
being； shall come to kiss my feet when I am no more？ If there be any
honour in lamenting a husband； it only appertains to those who smiled
upon them whilst they had them； let those who wept during their lives
laugh at their deaths； as well outwardly as within。 Therefore； never
regard those blubbered eyes and that pitiful voice； consider her
deportment； her complexion； the plumpness of her cheeks under all those
formal veils； 'tis there she talks plain French。 There are few who do
not mend upon't； and health is a quality that cannot lie。 That starched
and ceremonious countenance looks not so much back as forward； and is
rather intended to get a new husband than to lament the old。 When I was
a boy； a very beautiful and virtuous lady； who is yet living； the widow
of a prince； wore somewhat more ornament in her dress than our laws of
widowhood allow； and being reproached with it； she made answer that it
was because she was resolved to have no more love affairs； and would
never marry again。
I have here； not at all dissenting from our customs； made choice of three
women； who have also expressed the utmost of their goodness and affection
about their husbands' deaths； yet are they examples of another kind than
are now m use； and so austere that they will hardly be drawn into
imitation。
The younger Pliny' had near a house of his in Italy a neighbour who was
exceedingly tormented with certain ulcers in his private parts。 His wife
seeing him so long to languish； entreated that he would give her leave to
see and at leisure to consider of the condition of his disease； and that
she would freely tell him what she thought。 This permission being
obtained； and she having curiously examined the business； found it
impossible he could ever be cured； and that all he had to hope for or
expect was a great while to linger out a painful and miserable life； and
therefore； as the most sure and sovereign remedy； resolutely advised him
to kill himself。 But finding him a little tender and backward in so rude
an attempt： 〃Do not think； my friend；〃 said she； 〃that the torments I see
thee endure are not as sensible to me as to thyself； and that to deliver
myself from them； I will not myself make use of the same remedy I have
prescribed to thee。 I will accompany thee in the cure as I have done in
the disease； fear nothing； but believe that we shall have pleasure in
this passage that is to free us from so many miseries； and we will go
happily together。〃 Which having said； and roused up her husband's
courage； she resolved that they should throw themselves headlong into the
sea out of a window that overlooked it； and that she might maintain to
the last the loyal and vehement affection wherewith she had embraced him
during his life； she would also have him die in her arms； but lest they
should fail； and should quit their hold in the fall through fear； she
tied herself fast to him by the waist； and so gave up her own life to
procure her husband's repose。 This was a woman of mean condition； and；
amongst that class of people； 'tis no very new thing to see some examples
of rare virtue：
〃Extrema per illos
Justitia excedens terris vestigia fecit。〃
＇〃Justice； when she left the earth； took her last
steps among them。〃 Virgil； Georg。； ii。 473。＇
The other two were noble and rich； where examples of virtue are rarely
lodged。
Arria； the wife of Caecina Paetus； a consular person； was the mother of
another Arria； the wife of Thrasea Paetus； he whose virtue was so
renowned in the time of Nero； and by this son…in…law； the grandmother of
Fannia： for the resemblance of the names of these men and women； and
their fortunes； have led to several mistakes。 This first Arria； her
husband Caecina Paetus； having been taken prisoner by some of the Emperor
Claudius' people； after Scribonianus' defeat； whose party he had embraced
in the war； begged of those who were to carry him prisoner to Rome； that
they would take her into their ship； where she would be of much less
charge and trouble to them than a great many persons they must otherwise
have to attend her husband； and that she alone would undertake to serve
him in his chamber； his kitchen； and all other offices。 They refused；
whereupon she put herself into a fisher…boat she hired on the spot； and
in that manner followed him from Sclavonia。 When she had come to Rome；
Junia； the widow of Scribonianus； having one day； from the resemblance of
their fortune； accosted her in the Emperor's presence； she rudely
repulsed her with these words； 〃I；〃 said she； 〃speak to thee； or give ear
to any thing thou sayest！ to thee in whose lap Scribonianus was slain；
and thou art yet alive！〃 These words； with several other signs； gave her
friends to understand that she would undoubtedly despatch herself；
impatient of supporting her husband's misfortune。 And Thrasea； her son…
in…law； beseeching her not to throw away herself； and saying to her；
〃What！ if I should run the same fortune that Caecina has done； would you
that your daughter； my wife； should do the same？〃〃 Would I？〃 replied
she； 〃yes； yes； I would： if she had lived as long； and in as good
understanding with thee as I have done； with my husband。〃 These answers
made them more careful of her； and to have a more watchful eye to her
proceedings。 One day； having said to those who looked to her： 〃Tis to
much purpose that you take all this pains to prevent me； you may indeed
make me die an ill death； but to keep me from dying is not in your
power〃； she in a sudden phrenzy started from a chair whereon she sat； and
with all her force dashed her head against the wall； by which blow being
laid flat in a swoon； and very much wounded； after they had again with
great ado brought her to herself： 〃I told you；〃 said she； 〃that if you
refused me some easy way of dying； I should find out another； how painful
soever。〃 The conclusion of so admirable a virtue was this： her husband
Paetus； not having resolution enough of his own to despatch himself； as
he was by the emperor's cruelty enjoined； one day； amongst others； after
having first employed all the reasons and exhortations which she thought
most prevalent to persuade him to it； she snatched the poignard he wore
from his side； and holding it ready in her hand； for the conclusion of
her admonitions； 〃Do thus； Paetus；〃 said she； and in the same instant
giving herself a mortal stab in the breast； and then drawing it out of
the wound； presented it to him； ending her life with this noble；
generous； and immortal saying； 〃Paete； non dolet〃having time to
pronounce no more but those three never…to…be…forgotten words： 〃Paetus；
it is not painful。〃
〃Casta suo gladium cum traderet Arria Paeto；
Quern de visceribus traxerat ipsa suis
Si qua fides； vulnus quod feci non dolet； inquit；
Sed quod to facies； id mihi； Paete； dolet。〃
＇〃When the chaste Arria gave to Poetus the reeking sword she had
drawn from her breast； 'If you believe me；' she said； 'Paetus； the
wound I have made hurts not； but 'tis that which thou wilt make that
hurts me。'〃…Martial； i。 14。＇
The action was much more noble in itself； and of a braver sense than the
poet expressed it： for she was so far from be