eld no place for a woman who was interested in me as a person。 Any relationship between a man and a woman that is based upon bodies and personalities alone can lead only to disaster。
It was a premonition； or some kind of precognitive instinct for self…preservation； I should have heeded。 But at two in the morning； with my mind still reeling with matters intellectual； I was physically unable to muster enough brute bellicosity to toss Berenice and her suitcase down the stairs。 She was loving； too loving。
The inchoate premonition； or whatever it was； of some disaster； froze my body as well as my mind into a state of flaccid inaction。 Berenice was puzzled； I know。 When none of her usual tricks worked； she climbed over me suddenly； got out of bed； and switched off the floor lamp。 Except for the tiny red light on the electric coffeepot； which was not a red； baleful staring eye； but merely an effective reminder that the coffee was hot if I was not； the room was as dark as my thoughts。 We had never made love in the dark before。 I didn't know about Berenice； but such a peculiar idea had never occurred to me in my lifetime。 It is too impersonal to make love in the dark。 Your partner could be anyone； anyone at all。
How she knew this I don't know； but the gimmick worked。 As Berenice whipped her head back and forth； stinging first my chest and then my stomach with her long hair； my doubts disappeared。 And because this unseen woman became any woman； and was no longer a problem named Berenice Hollis； I became rigid with the pain of need； and mounted her savagely。 Savagely for me； because I am usually methodical in sexual relations； knowing what I like and dislike。 Being flagellated with long hair was a new experience for me as well； and I favored Berenice with the best ride she had ever had。 She climaxed as I entered； then twice； and we made the final one together。 She bit my shoulder so hard to keep from mewing （knowing how irritated I get when she makes animal noises） she left the marks of her teeth in my skin。
Euphoric； my tenseness dissipated； the thought of sending this big； marvelous woman back to Minnesota became intolerable。 She turned on the floorlamp and rummaged around in her suitcase for douching equipment。
〃Hang up that yellow linen suit of yours； baby；〃 I told her； 〃so the wrinkles will shake out。〃
〃Why？〃 she asked； doing as she was told。 〃It isn't wrinkled。〃
〃Because I want you to wear it tomorrow。 I'm taking you with me。〃
〃Where are we going？ Are we going to have fun？〃
〃To call on M。 Debierue。〃 I sighed。 〃I'll try to explain it again tomorrow…in one…syllable words。〃 With the light on； Berenice Hollis was a problem again。
〃We'll have fun； though； won't we？〃
〃Sure；〃 I replied glumly。 〃Fun； fun； fun。〃
I closed my eyes as she went into the bathroom。 I remember dimly being washed with a warm washrag； but I was sound asleep before she finished。
PART TWO
IF ANYTHING EXISTS；
IT IS INPREHENSIBLE
1
The apartment looked terrible； as if a small whirlwind had been turned loose for a few minutes； but Berenice； in her lemon linen suit； with its skimpy microskirt； was beautiful。 At my request she wore stockings； sheer enough to enhance the sienna brown of her deeply tanned legs。 The skirt was so short； when she sat or leaned over； the white metal snaps that held up her stockings were exposed slyly enough to make her as sexy as a Varga drawing。
Instead of a blouse she wore a filmy blue…and…red scarf around her neck。 The two loose ends of the scarf were tucked crosswise beneath the lapels of the square…cut double…breasted jacket。 Very few women would dare to wear such a severely cut suit； but the square straight lines of the jacket exaggerated the roundness of Berenice's lush figure。 With the supplement of a rat she had put up her hair； and the ample mound of tawny hair； sun…tinged with yellow streaks； piled on top of her head； together with her childish features； gave her an angelic expression。
There was； I think； too much orange in her lipstick； but perhaps this slight imperfection was the single needed touch that made her so lovely as a whole。
I had shaved and showered before Berenice took over the bathroom for an hour； and I had trimmed my Spanish Don sideburns neatly with scissors。 Nevertheless； I looked incongruously raunchy beside Berenice in my faded blue denim； short…sleeved jumpsuit； especially when she slipped on a pair of white gloves。 It was too hot outside for a jacket； and I needed the multiple pockets in the jumpsuit to carry all my paraphernalia。
I had three pens； a notebook； my wallet and keys； a handkerchief； two packs of Kools； and my ribbed…model Dunhill lighter （one of the few luxuries I had treated myself to when I had a regular teaching salary ing in）； a tiny Kodak Bantam in my right trousers pocket； some loose change； a pocket magnifying glass in a leather case； fingernail clippers； and a two…inch piece of clammy jade； with indentations for a finger grip。 Except for the well…concealed Kodak Bantam； loaded with color film； I carried too much crap around with me； but I had gotten used to carrying it and could hardly do without it。
We had slept late and had a leisurely breakfast。 After getting dressed； I had jotted down a few questions in my notebook。 I would not refer to the questions； but the act of writing them down had set them in my mind。 This was an old reporter's trick that worked； and I always took my Polaroid camera along； loaded with black…and…white； and extra film。 Professionals sneer at Dr。 Edwin H。 Land's Polaroids； but I was an expert with them and rarely snapped more than two shots before getting what I wanted。 I had learned； too； that people wifi okay without argument almost any picture that they have seen； but wifi refuse to allow photos to be published when they haven't seen everything on the roll。
By 1：30 P。M。 we were ready to go。 I preceded Berenice down the stairs into the glare of the breathtaking Florida sunlight。 The humidity was close to ninety； although the temperature wasn't quite eighty…five。 There were threatening nimbus clouds farther south； but the sky was clear and blue above Palm Beach。 It doesn't always rain in South Florida when the humidity hits 100 percent； although technically it is supposed to； but inasmuch as we were heading toward the dark sky above Boynton Beach； I decided not to put the canvas top back。 Inside the car； on burning leatherefte seats； we sweltered。
We had hardly crossed the bridge into West Palm when Berenice pointed to a blazing orange roof and said； 〃Let's stop at Howard Johnson's。〃
〃Why？ We just finished breakfast an hour ago。〃
〃I have to widdle。 That's why。〃
〃I told you to pee before we left。〃
〃I did； but I have to go again。〃
It was partly the heat； but I jerked the car into the parking lot； thinking angrily that it wasn't too late。 I could call a cab and send Berenice back to the apartment。
But once inside the cave…cold depths and booth…seated； I ordered two chocolate ice cream sodas； waited for them and Berenice； and smoked a Kool。 Because the service was seasonal； Berenice joined me at the table long before the sodas arrived。 She picked up my cigarette from the ashtray； took a long drag； replaced the cigarette exactly as she found it； held the inhaled smoke inside her lungs like a skin diver trying to break the hold…your…breath…underwater record； and finally let what was left of the smoke out。 I had noticed； during the three days I was in Miami； when Berenice had not been with me； that her so…called efforts to quit smoking caused three packs a day to go up in smoke instead of my usual two。 She had merely quit buying and carrying them。 She smoked mine instead…or took long drags off the cigarette I happened to be smoking。 She hated mentholated cigarettes； or so she claimed； but not enough； apparently； to give them up altogether。
〃If you want a cigarette；〃 I said； pushing the pack toward her； 〃take one。 When you drag mine down a quarter of an inch that way； I finish the cigarette unsatisfied because I didn't have the exact ration of smoke I'm accustomed to。 Then； because I feel gypped out of a quarter inch； I light another one； only to find that an entire cigarette； smoked too soon after the one I just finished； is too much。 I butt it； replace it in the pack； and when I finally get around to lighting the butt the next time I want a smoke； it tastes too strong and it still isn't a regular…length smoke。 If I throw the butt away； with only a couple of drags gone； it's a waste； and…〃
Berenice put a cool hand over mine。 There were faint crinkles in the corners of her guileless cornflower blue eyes。 Her bowed lips narrowed as they flickered a rapid smile。
〃What's bothering you； James？〃
I shrugged。 〃I don't know。 I took an up with my third cup of coffee； and the bination of a benny with too much coffee makes me talk too much。 As I told you last night； Berenice； this is a one…of…a…kind opportunity for me。 And I'm apprehensive； that's all。〃
She shook her head。 The smile appeared and disappeared again so fast I almost missed it。 〃No； James； you told me so much about thi