《the uncommercial traveller》

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the uncommercial traveller- 第38部分


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furniture stepped in so far;' as that it could be no worse to

borrow it all。  Consequently; he borrowed it all; and locked up the

cellar for good。  He had always locked it; after every visit。  He

had carried up every separate article in the dead of the night;

and; at the best; had felt as wicked as a Resurrection Man。  Every

article was blue and furry when brought into his rooms; and he had

had; in a murderous and guilty sort of way; to polish it up while

London slept。



Mr。 Testator lived in his furnished chambers two or three years; or

more; and gradually lulled himself into the opinion that the

furniture was his own。  This was his convenient state of mind when;

late one night; a step came up the stairs; and a hand passed over

his door feeling for his knocker; and then one deep and solemn rap

was rapped that might have been a spring in Mr。 Testator's easy…

chair to shoot him out of it; so promptly was it attended with that

effect。



With a candle in his hand; Mr。 Testator went to the door; and found

there; a very pale and very tall man; a man who stooped; a man with

very high shoulders; a very narrow chest; and a very red nose; a

shabby…genteel man。  He was wrapped in a long thread…bare black

coat; fastened up the front with more pins than buttons; and under

his arm he squeezed an umbrella without a handle; as if he were

playing bagpipes。  He said; 'I ask your pardon; but can you tell me

… ' and stopped; his eyes resting on some object within the

chambers。



'Can I tell you what?' asked Mr。 Testator; noting his stoppage with

quick alarm。



'I ask your pardon;' said the stranger; 'but … this is not the

inquiry I was going to make … DO I see in there; any small article

of property belonging to ME?'



Mr。 Testator was beginning to stammer that he was not aware … when

the visitor slipped past him; into the chambers。  There; in a

goblin way which froze Mr。 Testator to the marrow; he examined;

first; the writing…table; and said; 'Mine;' then; the easy…chair;

and said; 'Mine;' then; the bookcase; and said; 'Mine;' then;

turned up a corner of the carpet; and said; 'Mine!' in a word;

inspected every item of furniture from the cellar; in succession;

and said; 'Mine!'  Towards the end of this investigation; Mr。

Testator perceived that he was sodden with liquor; and that the

liquor was gin。  He was not unsteady with gin; either in his speech

or carriage; but he was stiff with gin in both particulars。



Mr。 Testator was in a dreadful state; for (according to his making

out of the story) the possible consequences of what he had done in

recklessness and hardihood; flashed upon him in their fulness for

the first time。  When they had stood gazing at one another for a

little while; he tremulously began:



'Sir; I am conscious that the fullest explanation; compensation;

and restitution; are your due。  They shall be yours。  Allow me to

entreat that; without temper; without even natural irritation on

your part; we may have a little … '



'Drop of something to drink;' interposed the stranger。  'I am

agreeable。'



Mr。 Testator had intended to say; 'a little quiet conversation;'

but with great relief of mind adopted the amendment。  He produced a

decanter of gin; and was bustling about for hot water and sugar;

when he found that his visitor had already drunk half of the

decanter's contents。  With hot water and sugar the visitor drank

the remainder before he had been an hour in the chambers by the

chimes of the church of St。 Mary in the Strand; and during the

process he frequently whispered to himself; 'Mine!'



The gin gone; and Mr。 Testator wondering what was to follow it; the

visitor rose and said; with increased stiffness; 'At what hour of

the morning; sir; will it be convenient?'  Mr。 Testator hazarded;

'At ten?'  'Sir;' said the visitor; 'at ten; to the moment; I shall

be here。'  He then contemplated Mr。 Testator somewhat at leisure;

and said; 'God bless you!  How is your wife?'  Mr。 Testator (who

never had a wife) replied with much feeling; 'Deeply anxious; poor

soul; but otherwise well。'  The visitor thereupon turned and went

away; and fell twice in going down…stairs。  From that hour he was

never heard of。  Whether he was a ghost; or a spectral illusion of

conscience; or a drunken man who had no business there; or the

drunken rightful owner of the furniture; with a transitory gleam of

memory; whether he got safe home; or had no time to get to; whether

he died of liquor on the way; or lived in liquor ever afterwards;

he never was heard of more。  This was the story; received with the

furniture and held to be as substantial; by its second possessor in

an upper set of chambers in grim Lyons Inn。



It is to be remarked of chambers in general; that they must have

been built for chambers; to have the right kind of loneliness。  You

may make a great dwelling…house very lonely; but isolating suites

of rooms and calling them chambers; but you cannot make the true

kind of loneliness。  In dwelling…houses; there have been family

festivals; children have grown in them; girls have bloomed into

women in them; courtships and marriages have taken place in them。

True chambers never were young; childish; maidenly; never had dolls

in them; or rocking…horses; or christenings; or betrothals; or

little coffins。  Let Gray's Inn identify the child who first

touched hands and hearts with Robinson Crusoe; in any one of its

many 'sets;' and that child's little statue; in white marble with a

golden inscription; shall be at its service; at my cost and charge;

as a drinking fountain for the spirit; to freshen its thirsty

square。  Let Lincoln's produce from all its houses; a twentieth of

the procession derivable from any dwelling…house one…twentieth of

its age; of fair young brides who married for love and hope; not

settlements; and all the Vice…Chancellors shall thenceforward be

kept in nosegays for nothing; on application to the writer hereof。

It is not denied that on the terrace of the Adelphi; or in any of

the streets of that subterranean…stable…haunted spot; or about

Bedford…row; or James…street of that ilk (a grewsome place); or

anywhere among the neighbourhoods that have done flowering and have

run to seed; you may find Chambers replete with the accommodations

of Solitude; Closeness; and Darkness; where you may be as low…

spirited as in the genuine article; and might be as easily

murdered; with the placid reputation of having merely gone down to

the sea…side。  But; the many waters of life did run musical in

those dry channels once; … among the Inns; never。  The only popular

legend known in relation to any one of the dull family of Inns; is

a dark Old Bailey whisper concerning Clement's; and importing how

the black creature who holds the sun…dial there; was a negro who

slew his master and built the dismal pile out of the contents of

his strong box … for which architectural offence alone he ought to

have been condemned to live in it。  But; what populace would waste

fancy upon such a place; or on New Inn; Staple Inn; Barnard's Inn;

or any of the shabby crew?



The genuine laundress; too; is an institution not to be had in its

entirety out of and away from the genuine Chambers。  Again; it is

not denied that you may be robbed elsewhere。  Elsewhere you may

have … for money … dishonesty; drunkenness; dirt; laziness; and

profound incapacity。  But the veritable shining…red…faced shameless

laundress; the true Mrs。 Sweeney … in figure; colour; texture; and

smell; like the old damp family umbrella; the tip…top complicated

abomination of stockings; spirits; bonnet; limpness; looseness; and

larceny; is only to be drawn at the fountain…head。  Mrs。 Sweeney is

beyond the reach of individual art。  It requires the united efforts

of several men to ensure that great result; and it is only

developed in perfection under an Honourable Society and in an Inn

of Court。







CHAPTER XV … NURSE'S STORIES







There are not many places that I find it more agreeable to revisit

when I am in an idle mood; than some places to which I have never

been。  For; my acquaintance with those spots is of such long

standing; and has ripened into an intimacy of so affectionate a

nature; that I take a particular interest in assuring myself that

they are unchanged。



I never was in Robinson Crusoe's Island; yet I frequently return

there。  The colony he established on it soon faded away; and it is

uninhabited by any descendants of the grave and courteous

Spaniards; or of Will Atkins and the other mutineers; and has

relapsed into its original condition。  Not a twig of its wicker

houses remains; its goats have long run wild again; its screaming

parrots would darken the sun with a cloud of many flaming colours

if a gun were fired there; no face is ever reflected in the waters

of the little creek which Friday swam across when pursued by his

two brother cannibals with sha
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