grace abounding to the chief of sinners- 第18部分

226。　　Now　as　touching　this；　THAT　Esau　SOUGHT　A　PLACE　OF　REPENTANCE；　　thus　I　thought：　　FIRST；　This　was　not　for　the　BIRTHRIGHT；　but　THE　　BLESSING：　　this　is　clear　from　the　apostle；　and　is　distinguished　by　　Esau　himself；　HE　TOOK　AWAY　MY　BIRTHRIGHT　（that　is；　formerly）；　AND　　BEHOLD　NOW　HE　HATH　TAKEN　AWAY　MY　BLESSING。　　Gen。　xxvii。　36。　　　SECONDLY；　Now；　this　being　thus　considered；　I　came　again　to　the　　apostle；　to　see　what　might　be　the　mind　of　God；　in　a　New…Testament　　style　and　sense　concerning　ESAU'S　sin；　and　so　far　as　I　could　　conceive；　this　was　the　mind　of　God；　THAT　THE　BIRTHRIGHT　signified　　REGENERATION；　and　the　BLESSING；　the　ETERNAL　INHERITANCE；　for　so　the　　apostle　seems　to　hint。　　LEST　THERE　BE　ANY　PROFANE　PERSON；　AS　Esau；　　WHO　FOR　ONE　MORSEL　OF　MEAT　SOLD　HIS　BIRTHRIGHT；　as　if　he　should　　say；　That　shall　cast　off　all　those　blessed　beginnings　of　God；　that　　at　present　are　upon　him；　in　order　to　a　new…birth；　lest　they　become　　as　ESAU；　even　be　rejected　AFTERWARDS；　when　they　would　inherit　the　　blessing。

227。　　For　many　there　are；　who；　in　the　day　of　grace　and　mercy；　　despise　those　things　which　are　indeed　the　birthright　to　heaven；　who　　yet　when　the　deciding　day　appears；　will　cry　as　lord　as　ESAU；　LORD；　　LORD；　OPEN　TO　US；　but　then；　as　ISAAC　would　not　repent；　no　more　will　　God　the　Father；　but　will　say；　I　HAVE　BLESSED　THESE；　YEA；　and　THEY　　SHALL　BE　BLESSED；　but　as　for　you；　DEPART；　YOU　ARE　THE　WORKERS　OF　　INIQUITY。　　Gen。　xxvii。　32；　Luke　xiii。　25…27。

228。　　When　I　had　thus　considered　these　scriptures；　and　found　that　　thus　to　understand　them；　was　not　against；　but　according　to　other　　scriptures；　this　still　added　further　to　my　encouragement　and　　comfort；　and　also　gave　a　great　blow　to　that　objection；　to　wit；　THAT　　THE　SCRIPTURES　COULD　NOT　AGREE　IN　THE　SALVATION　OF　MY　SOUL。　　And　　now　remained　only　the　hinder　part　of　the　tempest；　for　the　thunder　　was　gone　beyond　me；　only　some　drops　did　still　remain；　that　now　and　　then　would　fall　upon　me；　but　because　my　former　frights　and　anguish　　were　very　sore　and　deep；　therefore　it　oft　befall　me　still；　as　it　　befalleth　those　that　have　been　scared　with　fire。　　I　thought　every　　voice　was；　FIRE！　FIRE！　　Every　little　touch　would　hurt　my　tender　　conscience。

229。　　But　one　day；　as　I　was　passing　in　the　field；　and　that　too　with　　some　dashes　on　my　conscience；　fearing　lest　yet　all　was　not　right；　　suddenly　this　sentence　fell　upon　my　soul；　THY　RIGHTEOUSNESS　IS　IN　　HEAVEN；　and　methought　withal；　I　saw　with　the　eyes　of　my　soul；　Jesus　　Christ　at　God's　right　hand：　　there；　I　say；　was　my　righteousness；　so　　that　wherever　I　was；　or　whatever　I　was　doing；　God　could　not　say　of　　me；　HE　WANTS　MY　RIGHTEOUSNESS；　for　that　was　just　before　Him。　　I　　also　saw　moreover；　that　it　was　not　my　good　frame　of　heart　that　made　　my　righteousness　better；　nor　yet　my　bad　frame　that　made　my　　righteousness　worse；　for　my　righteousness　was　Jesus　Christ　Himself；　　THE　SAME　YESTERDAY；　TO…DAY；　AND　FOR　EVER。　　Heb。　xiii。　8。

230。　　Now　did　my　chains　fall　off　my　legs　indeed；　I　was　loosed　from　　my　afflictions　and　irons；　my　temptations　also　fled　away；　so　that　　from　that　time　those　dreadful　scriptures　of　God　left　off　to　trouble　　me：　　now　went　I　also　home　rejoicing；　for　the　grace　and　love　of　God；　　so　when　I　came　home；　I　looked　to　see　if　I　could　find　that　sentence；　　THY　RIGHTEOUSNESS　IS　IN　HEAVEN；　but　could　not　find　such　a　saying；　　wherefore　my　heart　began　to　sink　again；　only　that　was　brought　to　my　　remembrance；　1　Cor。　i。　30；　CHRIST　JESUS；　WHO　OF　GOD　IS　MADE　UNTO　US　　WISDOM；　AND　RIGHTEOUSNESS；　AND　SANCTIFICATION；　AND　REDEMPTION；　by　　this　word　I　saw　the　other　sentence　true。

231。　　For　by　this　scripture　I　saw　that　the　Man　Christ　Jesus；　as　He　　is　distinct　from　us；　as　touching　His　bodily　presence；　so　He　is　our　　righteousness　and　sanctification　before　God。　　Here　therefore　I　　lived；　for　some　time；　very　sweetly　at　peace　with　God　through　　Christ；　Oh！　methought；　Christ！　Christ！　there　was　nothing　but　Christ　　that　was　before　my　eyes：　　I　was　not　now　（only）　for　looking　upon　　this　and　the　other　benefits　of　Christ　apart；　as　of　His　blood；　　burial；　or　resurrection；　but　considering　Him　as　a　whole　Christ！　as　　He　in　whom　all　these；　and　all　His　other　virtues；　relations；　offices　　and　operations　met　together；　and　that　He　sat　on　the　right　hand　of　　God　in　heaven。

232。　　'Twas　glorious　to　me　to　see　His　exaltation；　and　the　worth　and　　prevalency　of　all　His　benefits；　and　that　because　now　I　could　look　　from　myself　to　Him　and　should　reckon；　that　all　those　graces　of　God　　that　now　were　green　on　me；　were　yet　but　like　those　cracked　groats　　and　fourpence…halfpennies　that　rich　men　carry　in　their　purses；　when　　their　gold　is　in　their　trunks　at　home：　　Oh！　I　saw　my　gold　was　in　my　　trunk　at　home！　　In　Christ　my　Lord　and　Saviour。　　Now　Christ　was　all；　　all　my　wisdom；　all　my　righteousness；　all　my　sanctification；　and　all　　my　redemption。

233。　　Further；　the　Lord　did　also　lead　me　into　the　mystery　of　union　　with　the　Son　of　God；　that　I　was　joined　to　Him；　that　I　was　flesh　of　　His　flesh；　and　bone　of　His　bone；　and　now　was　that　word　sweet　to　me　　in　Eph。　v。　30。　　By　this　also　was　my　faith　in　Him；　as　my　　righteousness；　the　more　confirmed　in　me；　for　if　He　and　I　were　one；　　then　His　righteousness　was　mine；　His　merits　mine；　His　victory　also　　mine。　　Now　could　I　see　myself　in　heaven　and　earth　at　once：　　in　　heaven　by　my　Christ；　by　my　head；　by　my　righteousness　and　life；　　though　on　earth　by　my　body　or　person。

234。　　Now　I　saw　Christ　Jesus　was　looked　upon　of　God；　and　should　　also　be　looked　upon　by　us；　as　that　common　or　public　person；　in　whom　　all　the　whole　body　of　His　elect　are　always　to　be　considered　and　　reckoned；　that　we　fulfilled　the　law　by　Him；　died　by　Him；　rose　from　　the　dead　by　Him；　got　the　victory　over　sin；　death；　the　devil；　and　　hell；　by　Him；　when　He　died；　we　died；　and　so　of　His　resurrection。　　　THY　DEAD　MEN　SHALL　LIVE；　TOGETHER　WITH　MY　DEAD　BODY　SHALL　THEY　　ARISE；　saith　He。　　Isa。　xxvi。　19。　　And　again；　AFTER　TWO　DAYS　HE　WILL　　REVIVE　US；　AND　THE　THIRD　DAY　HE　WILL　RAISE　US　UP；　AND　WE　SHALL　LIVE　　IN　HIS　SIGHT。　　Hosea　vi。　2。　　Which　is　now　fulfilled　by　the　sitting　　down　of　the　Son　of　Man　on　the　right　hand　of　the　Majesty　in　the　　heavens；　according　to　that　to　the　EPHESIANS；　AND　HATH　RAISED　US　UP　　TOGETHER；　AND　MADE　US　SIT　TOGETHER　IN　HEAVENLY　PLACES　IN　CHRIST　　JESUS。　　Eph。　ii。　6。

235。　　Ah！　these　blessed　considerations　and　scriptures；　with　many　　others　of　like　nature；　were　in　those　days　made　to　spangle　in　mine　　eyes；　so　that　I　have　cause　to　say；　PRAISE　YE　THE　LORD。　　PRAISE　GOD　　IN　HIS　SANCTUARY；　PRAISE　HIM　IN　THE　FIRMAMENT　OF　HIS　POWER；　PRAISE　　HIM　FOR　HIS　MIGHTY　ACTS：　　PRAISE　HIM　ACCORDING　TO　HIS　EXCELLENT　　GREATNESS。　　Psalm　cl。　1；　2。

236。　　Having　thus　in　a　few　words　given　you　a　taste　of　the　sorrow　　and　affliction　that　my　soul　went　under；　by　the　guilt　and　terror　　that　this　my　wicked　thought　did　lay　me　under；　and　having　given　you　　also　a　touch　of　my　deliverance　therefrom；　and　of　the　sweet　and　　blessed　comfort　that　I　met　with　afterwards；　which　comfort　dwelt　　about　a　twelvemonth　with　my　heart；　to　my　unspeakable　admiration：　　I　　will　now　（God　willing）；　before　I　proceed　any　farther；　give　you　in　a　　word　or　two；　what；　as　I　conceive；　was　the　cause　of　this　temptation；　　and　also　after　that；　what　advantage；　at　the　last；　it　became　unto　my　　soul。

237。　　For　the　causes；　I　conceived　they　were　principally　two：　　of　　which　two　also　I　was　deeply　convinced　all　the　time　this　trouble　lay　　upon　me。　　The　first　was；　for　that　I　did　not；　when　I　was　delivered　　from　the　temptation　that　went　before；　still　pray　to　God　to　to　keep　　me　from　the　temptations　that　were　to　come；　for　though；　as　I　can　say　　in　truth；　my　soul　was　much　in　prayer　before　this　trial　seized　me；　　yet　then　I　prayed　only；　or　at　the　most　principally；　for　the　removal　　of　present　troubles；　and　for　fresh　discoveries　of　His　love　in　　Christ；　which　I　saw　afterwards　was　not　enough　to　do；　I　also　should　　have　prayed　that　the　great　God　would　keep　me　from　the　evil　that　was　　to　come。

238。　　Of　this　I　was　made　deeply　sensible　by　the　prayer　of　holy　　DAVID；　who　when　he　was　under　present　mercy；　yet　prayed　that　God　　would　hold　him　back　from　sin　and　temptation　to　come；　THEN；　saith　　he；　SHALL　I　BE　UPRIGHT；　AND　I　SHALL　BE　INNOCENT　FROM　THE　GREAT　　TRANSGRESSION。　　Psalm　xix。　13。　　By　this　very　word　was　I　galled　and　　condemned　quite　through　this　long　temptation。

239。　　That　was　also　another　word　that　did　much　condemn　me　for　my　　folly；　in　the　neglect　of　this　duty。　　Heb。　iv。　16：　　LET　US　THEREFORE　　COME　BOLDLY　UNTO　THE　THRONE　OF　GRACE；　THAT　WE　MAY　OBTAIN　MERCY；　AND　　FIND　GRACE　TO　HELP　IN　TIME　OF　NEED。　　This　I　had　not　done；　and　　therefore　was　thus　suffered　to　sin　and　fall；　according　to　what　is　　written；　PRAY　THAT　YE　ENTER　NOT　INTO　TEMPTATION。　　And　truly　this　　very　thing　is　to　this　day　of　such　weight　and　awe　upon　me；　that　I　　dare　not；　when　I　come　before　the　Lord；　go　of　my　knees；　until　I　　intreat　Him　for　help　and　mercy　against　the　temptations　that　are　to　　come；　and　I　do　beseech　thee；　reader；　that　thou　learn　to　beware　of　　my　negligence；　by　the　afflictions；　that　for　this　thing　I　did　for　　days；　and　months；　and　years；　with　sorrow　undergo。

240。　　Another　cause　of　this　temptation　was；　that　I　had　tempted　God；　　and　on　this　manner　did　I　do　it：　　Upon　a　time　my　wife　was　great　with　　child；　and　before　her　full　time　was　come；　her　pangs；　a