ause their leader had lost his nerve。 Without his strength of will to buoy them； they could not win。 They didn't want to be here。 I looked at each of them； and in turn； they scented the air as I stared at them。 Defeat hung over them like smoke； they had no will to win。 They didn't want to be here。 So why were they here？ Their alpha； their leader； was here； and his will was theirs。 So why were they all weak； as if something was missing inside their group； something that made them weak？
I realized with a start that this was what everyone had sensed from the leopards before I came to them 。。。 this smell of weakness and defeat。 Nathaniel was weak。 But now my will was his； and I was not weak。 I turned to stare into his face； his eyes； and I saw through all the pain； the torture； that he was not hopeless。 When I first met him； Nathaniel had had the most hopeless eyes I'd ever seen。 But he knew I'd e。 He'd known with an absolute certainty that I would not leave him here like this。 Gregory could doubt； because he thought with that part of him that was human。 But Nathaniel trusted me with something that had nothing to do with logic； and everything to do with truth。
I turned back to Coronus。 〃Run away from this； Coronus； or some of you won't see dawn。〃
He sighed heavily。 〃So be it。〃 And then he did what he shouldn't have done。 Something that had no logic to it； from a nonhuman point of view。 He was going to lose； and he knew it。 Yet he did a very human thing。 He attacked us anyway。 Only humans waste energy like that when they've been given an out。
The two snakes guarding Coronus suddenly launched themselves at me； and I was too close。 I'd been so sure with my new werewolf senses that they wouldn't fight us。 I'd been careless。 I'd forgotten that in the end we're only half animal。 And that human half will fuck you every time。
They came in a blur of speed too fast for me to do anything but start for the other boot knife。 I knew I'd never reach it。 Gregory leaped in a butter…colored streak； taking one snake out in midair； rolling on the floor。 But the other one was on me； claws slashing down before I hit the ground with it riding me。 I was already going numb； it didn't hurt。 The claws ripped at my stomach； diving through the cloth of my shirt to the flesh underneath。 I felt it digging for my heart。 I raised my right hand to try and grab the wrist； but it felt like I was moving in slow motion。 My hand seemed to weigh a thousand pounds； and distantly I knew I was hurt； badly hurt。 Something bad had happened in that first blur of claws。
Gregory was suddenly there； pale fur caught between the multicolored snakes。 He fell on top of me； with one of the things on top of him ripping him up。 He never tried to defend himself； he clawed at the one riding me； tore it away from me； and the three of them fought on top of me。 There was a moment when Gregory's eyes and that snarling mouth were inches from mine。 We were pressed as close as lovers； and I knew that the claws in me were his。 He'd fallen against me； been pushed into my flesh。 Then other hands were pulling us all apart。 I had a glimpse of Jamil's face； saw his lips move； but there was no sound。 Then blackness swirled over my vision and ate everything but a dim； dim spot of light。 Then even that vanished； and there was nothing but the dark。
8
I DREAMED I was running； being chased through the woods at night。 I could hear them ing closer； closer； and I knew that what chased me wasn't human。 Then I fell to the ground and I was running on four feet。 I chased the pale thing that fled before me。 The soft thing that had no claws； no teeth； and smelled wonderfully of fear。 It fell； and its scream was shrill； it hurt my ears； and excited me。 My fangs sank into flesh and did not stop until they tore meat。 Blood poured scalding hot down my throat； and the dream faded。
I was in Narcissus's bedroom on the black bed。 Jean…Claude was tied； standing between the posts at the end of the bed。 His chest was bare； covered in claw marks； blood running down his skin。 I crawled across the bed towards him； and I wasn't afraid； because all I could smell was the sweet copper scent of blood。 He stared at me with eyes gone solid； drowning blue。 〃Kiss me； ma petite。〃
I rose on my knees； my mouth hovering over his lips。 He moved towards me； but I stayed out of reach of those kissable lips。 I moved my mouth lower； until it was just above his chest and the fresh wounds that decorated his skin。 〃Yes； ma petite； yes；〃 he sighed。
I pressed my mouth to his chest and drank。 I woke； eyes staring； heart thudding。 It was Richard above me。 He still had the leather collar on。 I tried to raise my arms； to hold him； but my left arm was taped to a board。 There was an I。V。 in my arm。 I looked at the darkened room and knew I wasn't in a hospital。 I raised my right arm to touch his face； but it was heavy； too heavy to lift。 Darkness spilled over my eyes like warm water rushing in； as my fingertips brushed his skin。
I heard his voice。 〃Rest； Anita； rest。〃 I think he kissed me； gentry； then there was nothing。
I was wading in water to my waist； clear； icy water。 I knew I had to get out of the water or I'd die； the cold would steal me away。 I could see the shore； dead trees； and snow。 I ran for those distant trees； struggling in the icy water。 Then my feet went out from under me； and I fell into a deep hole。 The water closed over my face； and the shock of the cold hit me like a giant fist。 I couldn't move； couldn't breathe。 The light faded through the clear； shining water。 I began to drift down； down into the cold dark water。 I should have been scared； I wasn't。 I was so tired； so tired。
Pale hands reached for me； ing from the light。 The sleeve of the white shirt billowed around his arm； and I moved my hand towards him。 Jean…Claude's hand wrapped around mine； and he pulled me towards the light。
I was back in the dark room； but my skin was wet； and I was cold； so cold。 Jean…Claude was cradling me in his lap。 He was still wearing the vinyl outfit。 Then I remembered the fight。 I'd been hurt。 Jean…Claude leaned over and kissed my forehead； laying his face against mine。 His skin was as cold as I felt like ice pressed against me。 The shivering was worse； my body danced in small involuntary movements。
〃Cold；〃 I said。
〃I know； ma petite； we are both cold。〃
I frowned at him； because I didn't understand。 He was looking at someone else in the room。 〃I have brought her back； but I cannot give her the warmth she needs to survive。〃
I managed to turn my head enough to look around the room。 Richard was standing there with Jamil and Shang…Da and Gregory。 Richard came to the bed； his hand touched my face。 It was hot against my skin。 It was too much； and I tried to move away from his hand。
〃Anita； can you hear me？〃
My teeth were chattering so hard； I could hardly get it out； but finally I said； 〃Yes。〃
〃You've got a high fever； a very high fever。 They put you in a shallow ice bath to bring it down。 But your body reacted like a shapeshifter's。 The low temperature while so much damage was healing almost killed you。〃
I frowned at him and finally managed to say； 〃Don't understand。〃 The involuntary jerks were getting stronger； strong enough that it hurt the wounds。 I was waking up enough to feel how very hurt I was。 Things hurt that I didn't remember getting injured。 My muscles ached。
〃You need the high temperature to heal； just like we do。〃
I didn't understand who the 〃we〃 was。 〃Who 。。。 〃 and a spasm shook my body； tore a scream from my mouth。 My body fell into convulsions and pain smashed through me。 If I could have breathed； I'd have screamed more。 My vision began to disappear in large gray patches。
〃Get the doctor！〃 Richard's voice。
〃You know what must be done； mon ami。〃
〃If this works； then I've lost her。〃
My vision cleared for a few seconds。 Richard was stripping out of the tight pants。 It was the last thing I saw before the gray swept up over my eyes and sucked me down。
9
I THOUGHT I dreamed； but I wasn't sure。 There were faces in the dark； some of them I knew； some of them I didn't。 Cherry with her short blond hair； her face free of makeup； making her look years younger than either of us were。 Gregory touching my face。 Jamil resting beside me； curled like a dark dream。 I drifted in and out； from face to face； body to body； because I could feel their bodies pressed against mine。 Naked skin against naked skin。 It wasn't sexual； or not overtly so。 I woke； if I woke； enough to know it was Richard's arms wrapped around me； my body fitting like a spoon against his； his thick hair spilled across my eyes。 I slept； knowing I was safe。
I woke slowly； in a cocoon of body heat and that prickling rush of lycanthrope energy。 I tried to roll over and found the press of flesh kept me pinned on my side。 I opened my eyes。 The room was dark； with a small light near the wall like a child's night…light。 My night vision was good enough to be able to see color by it。 A man I didn't know was curled against the front of my body。 His face was pressed into my shoulder just above my breasts； his breath hot against my skin。 Normally； it would have been my cue to panic and run for the hills； but