ve you up and just settle down with Richard is that I can't give up a boyfriend who's colder than I am。〃
〃I am sorry； ma petite。〃 I wasn't sure exactly what he was apologizing for； but I accepted it anyway。
〃Me； too。 Give me directions to the club； I'll meet you there。〃
He gave me directions； and I read them back to him。 We hung up。 Neither of us said good…bye。 Once upon a time we'd have ended the conversation with je t'aime； I love you。 Once upon a time。
4
THE CLUB WAS over the river on the Illinois side； along with most of the other questionable clubs。 Vampire…run businesses got a grandfather clause to operate in St。 Louis proper； but the rest of the human…run clubs and lycanthropes still counted legally as human had to go into Illinois to avoid pesky zoning problems。 Some of the zoning problems weren't even on the books； weren't even laws at all。 But it was strange how many problems the bureaucrats could find when they didn't want a club in their fair city。 If the vampires weren't such a big draw for tourists； the bureaucrats'd have probably found a way to get rid of them； too。
I finally found parking about two blocks from the club。 It meant a walk to the club in an area of town that most women wouldn't want to be alone in after dark。 Of course； most women wouldn't be armed。 A gun doesn't cure all ills； but it's a start。 I also had a knife sheath around each calf； very high up； so that the hilts came up on the side of my knees。 I wasn't really fortable that way； but I couldn't think of any other place to put knives so I could get to them easily。 There was a very good chance I'd have bruises on my knees after tonight。 Oh； well。 I also had a black belt in Judo； and was making progress in Kenpo； a type of karate； one with fewer power moves and more moves using balance。 I was as prepared as I could get for the wilds of the big city。
Of course； I usually don't walk around looking like bait。 My skirt was so short that even with boots that came up to mid…thigh there was a good inch between the hem and the top of the boots。 I'd put a jacket on for the drive； but had left it in the car because I didn't want to be carrying it around all night。 I'd been in just enough clubs； whatever flavor they were； to know that inside it would be hot。 So the goosebumps that traveled over my bare back and arms weren't from fear； but from the damp； chill air。 I forced myself not to rub my arms as I walked and to at least look like I wasn't cold or unfortable。 Actually the boots only had two…inch heels； and they were fortable to walk in。 Not as fortable as my Nikes； but then； what is？ But for dress shoes； the boots weren't bad。 If I could have left the knives home； they'd have been peachy。
There was one other bit of protection that I'd added。 Metaphysical shields e in different varieties。 You can shield yourself with almost anything： metal； rock； plants； fire； water； wind； earth； etc 。。。 Everyone has different shields because it's a very individual choice。 It has to work for your own personal mindset。 You can have two psychics both using stone； but the shields won't be the same。 Some people simply visualize rock； the thought of it； its essence； and that's sufficient。 If something tries to attack them； they are safe behind the thought of rock。 Another psychic might see a stone wall； like a garden wall around an old house； and that would do the same thing。 For me； the shield had to be a tower。 All shields are like bubbles that surround you pletely； just like circles of power。 I'd always understood this when I raised the dead； but for shielding I needed to see it in my head。 So I imagined a stone tower； pletely enclosed； no windows； no chinks； smooth and dark inside with only what I allowed in or out。 Talking about shielding always made me feel like I was having a psychotic break and sharing my delusions。 But it worked； and when I didn't shield； things tried to hurt me。 It had only been in the last two weeks that Marianne had discovered that I hadn't really understood shielding at all。 I'd thought it was just a matter of how powerful your aura was and how you could reinforce it。 She said the only reason I'd been able to get by with that for as long as I had was that I was simply that powerful。 But the shielding goes outside the aura like a wall around a castle； an extra defense。 The innermost defense is a healthy aura。 Hopefully by the end of the night I'd have one of those。
I turned the corner and found a line of people that stretched down the block。 Great； just what I needed。 I didn't stop at the end of the line； I kept walking towards the door； hoping I'd think of something to tell the doorperson when I got there。 I didn't have time to wait through all this。 I was about halfway up the line when a figure pushed out of the crowd and called my name。
It took me a second to recognize Jason。 First； he'd cut his baby…fine blond hair short； businessman short。 Second； he was wearing a sheer silver mesh shirt and a pair of pants that seemed mostly made of the same stuff。 Only a thin line of solid silver ran over his groin。 The outfit was so eye…catching that it took me a moment to realize just how sheer the cloth was。 What I was really seeing wasn't the silver； but Jason's skin through a veil of glitter。 The outfit； which left precious little to the imagination； ended in calf…high gray boots。
I had to make myself look at his face； because I was still shaking my head over the outfit。 The outfit didn't look fortable； but of course； Jason rarely plained about his clothes。 He was like Jean…Claude's little dress…up werewolf； as well as morning snack。 Sometimes bodyguard and sometimes a fetch…and…carry boy。 Who else could Jean…Claude get to stand out in the cold； nearly naked？
Jason's eyes looked bigger； bluer somehow； without all the hair to distract your eye。 His face looked older with the shorter hair； the bone structure cleaner； and I realized that Jason was perilously close to that line between cute and handsome。 He'd been nineteen when we met。 Twenty…two looked better on him。 But the outfit there was nothing to do but grin at the outfit。
He was grinning at me； too。 I think we were both happy to see each other。 In leaving Richard and Jean…Claude I'd left their people behind； too。 Jason was Richard's pack member； and Jean…Claude's lap wolf。
〃You look like a pornographic space man。 If you were wearing street clothes； you might have gotten a hug；〃 I said。
His smile flashed even wider。 〃I guess I'm dressed for punishment。 Jean…Claude told me to wait for you and take you in。 My hand's already got a stamp on it so we can just go straight inside。〃
〃A little cold for the clothes； isn't it？〃
〃Why do you think I was standing deep in the crowd？〃 He offered me his arm。 〃May I escort you inside； my lady？〃
I took his arm with my left hand。 Jason put his free hand on top of mine； doing a double hold。 If that was the worst teasing he did tonight； then he'd grown up some。 The silver cloth was rougher than it looked； scratchy where it rubbed against my arm。
As Jason led me up the steps； I had to look behind him。 The cloth that covered his groin was only a thin thong at the back； leaving nothing but a fine glitter over his butt。 The shirt was not attached to the pants； so as he moved I got glimpses of his stomach。 In fact the shirt was loose enough through the shoulders that when he took my arm the shirt pulled to one side； revealing his smooth； pale shoulder。
The music hit me at the door like a giant's slap。 It was almost a wall we had to move through。 I hadn't expected Narcissus in Chains to be a dance club。 But except for the patrons' clothing being more exotic and running high to leather； it looked like a lot of other clubs。 The place was large； dimly lit； dark in the corners； with too many people pushed into too small a space； moving their bodies frantically to music that was way too loud。
My hand tightened just a touch on Jason's arm； because truthfully I always feel a little overwhelmed by places like this。 At least for the first few minutes。 It's like I need a depth chamber between the outside world and the inside world； a moment to breath deep and adjust。 But these clubs are not designed to give you time。 They just bombard you with sensory overload and figure you'll survive。
Speaking of sensory overload； Jean…Claude was standing near the wall just to one side of the dance floor。 His long black hair fell in soft curls around his shoulders； nearly to his waist。 I didn't remember his hair being that long。 He had his head turned away from me； watching the dancers； so I couldn't really see his face； but it gave me time to look at the rest of him。 He was dressed in a black vinyl shirt that looked poured on。 It left his arms bare； and I realized I'd never seen him in anything that bared his arms before。 His skin looked unbelievably white against the shiny black vinyl； almost as if it glowed with some inner light。 I knew it didn't； though it could。 Jean…Claude would never be so déclassé as to show such power in a public place。 His pants were made of the same shiny vinyl； making the long lines of his body look like they had been dipped into liquid patent leather。 Vinyl boots came up just over his knees； gleaming as