〃Ask and I'll let you know；〃 I said。
〃Did you kill Kaspar Gunderson； the last swan king？〃
I blinked at him。 That was unexpected。 The sheer surprise made my pulse rate speed up a touch。 〃No； no； I didn't。〃
〃Do you know who did？〃
I blinked at him again。 I wondered if I could lie and if he would be able to tell； or not。 I finally stuck to the truth。 〃Yes。〃
〃Who？〃
I shook my head。 〃That I won't answer。〃
〃Why not？〃
〃Because I would have killed Kaspar myself if he hadn't gotten away。〃
〃I know he was responsible for several deaths； and that he tried to kill you and some of your friends；〃 Reece said。
〃It was a little more diabolical than that；〃 I said。 〃He was taking money from hunters and supplying them with shifters。〃
Reece nodded。 〃He also made the swanmanes in his care into victims。 I think that's what he and the old lupa shared sexual sadism。〃
〃That's why your girls； as you put it； were at the club with Nathaniel。〃
〃Yes； I don't play those sorts of games； and they've grown to crave it。〃
I nodded。 〃I sympathize；〃 I said。
〃You've answered my questions truthfully； I can do no less。〃 He started unbuttoning his shirt。
I looked at Micah； who shrugged。 I looked at Rafael； who shook his head。 Nice that none of us knew why he was undressing。
He left the overshirt tucked in but started pulling the undershirt out of his pants。 He was about to bare his soft underbelly； and I wasn't a hundred percent sure my control was up to seeing it。 My pulse was in my throat again。 Since apparently neither of the men was going to ask； I asked； 〃Why are you undressing？〃
〃To show you the symbol of my kingship。〃
I stared at him。 〃Excuse me？〃
Reece frowned at me。 〃Don't worry； Ms。 Blake； I'm not about to flash you。〃
〃I'm not worried about you flashing me； Reece； it's that 。。。 〃 but I never finished； because he'd bared the white； white skin of his stomach。 In the darkened car I could still see the pulse just behind his belly button。 Hell； I could almost taste it in my mouth； as if I'd already sunk teeth into that tender flesh； as if I was already eating my way through to more vital things。 Something was odd about the hair on his chest。 It was almost too fine； too thin； too delicate； running in a dainty white line down the center of his chest and spreading in an upside down triangle around his belly button then down into his pants。
I was on the floorboard crawling towards him； and I didn't remember getting there。 I stopped； pressed against Micah's legs。 〃I don't remember leaving my seat。 I'm losing time。〃
Micah put his hands on my shoulders。 〃It happens when your beast controls you； at first。 The first few full moons will be almost plete blackouts； until you can begin to access the memories； and that will take work。〃
Reece had leaned back across the seat； half…reclining； and started to undo his belt。
This close I could see； or thought I saw what was wrong with the hair on his chest and stomach。 I tried to move forward； but Micah held me； hands tightening on my shoulders。 I stretched out my hand and could brush fingertips over Reece's stomach。 The light touch of my fingers over his skin made him stop fussing with his belt； made him look at me。
It wasn't hair。 〃Feathers；〃 I said； softly； 〃like the down on a baby chicken； so soft。〃 I wanted to run my hands over the surprising texture of it； to roll my body across the feathers and the heat of his skin。 I could hear his heart in his chest pounding； and when I looked up； I met his gaze。 His pulse was in his neck； like a trapped thing； and I could taste his fear。 That one touch of my hand； the soft； dreamy quality of my voice had frightened him。
Micah's arms wrapped around my neck and shoulders and drew me in against his body with his legs on either side of me。 He leaned over me； his face pressed to mine； and said； 〃Ssshhh； Anita； ssshhh。〃 But it was more than a soothing voice。 I could feel his beast calling to mine； as if he'd rolled his hand through my body； but so much larger。 And that touch made my body tighten； grow wet。 It brought my own pulse into my throat。
〃What did you do？〃 I sounded breathless。
〃The hunger can be turned to sex；〃 Micah said。
〃I wasn't going to feed；〃 I said。
〃Your skin went hot。 Our bodies spike a temperature just before we change； like a human before a seizure。〃
I turned； still held in his arms； half…pinned between his knees。 〃You thought I was going to change？〃
〃It usually takes weeks； or at least the first full moon； for the first shape change。 But you seem to be gaining problems faster than normal。 If you changed for the first time here； I don't think either Rafael or I would be able to keep you from tearing Reece up。〃
〃The first change is very violent；〃 Rafael said； 〃and even the backseat of a limo doesn't have much room to hide or to run in。〃
Reece looked at me from only inches away； held in Micah's arms； his body； and I knew that it wasn't romantic。 He was holding on in case the sex as distraction didn't work。 〃She's been Nimir…Ra for over a year；〃 Reece said。
〃But still human； until recently；〃 Rafael said。
Reece stared at me for a second or two； then said； 〃Very well； I have a birthmark in the shape of a swan。 My family knew from my birth what I was meant to be。〃
〃I've heard of such things；〃 Micah said； 〃but I thought it was legend。〃
Reece shook his head。 〃It's very true。〃 He sat back in his seat； tucking his undershirt down in front。
〃Kaspar had feathers instead of hair on his head；〃 I said。
〃I'm told that if I live long enough that gradually that will happen to me。〃 There was something in his voice that said he wasn't looking forward to the prospect。
〃You don't sound happy；〃 I said。
He frowned at me； rebuttoning his shirt。 〃You were human once； Ms。 Blake； I've never been human。 I was born a swan king。 I was raised to take my place as their king from my earliest memories。 You have no idea what that's like。 I insisted on going to college； on getting a degree； but I may never get to use it； because going from place to place caring for the other swans keeps me very busy。〃
I stayed in the circle of Micah's body； but the tension was draining away； 〃I saw my first soul when I was ten； and my first ghost earlier than that； Reece。 At thirteen I accidentally raised my dog that had died。 I've never been human Reece； trust me on that。〃
〃You sound bitter about it；〃 he said。
I nodded。 〃Oh； yeah。〃
〃You must both accept who and what you are； or you will make yourselves miserable；〃 Rafael said。
We both looked at him； and I don't think either look was friendly。 〃Give me a week or two to e to terms with being a kitty cat；〃 I said。
〃I am not referring to you being Nimir…Ra for real；〃 Rafael said。 〃From the moment I met you； Anita； you have half hated what you are。 As Richard has run from his beast； so you have run from your own gifts。〃
〃I don't need a philosophy lesson； Rafael。〃
〃I think you do； and badly； but I'll let that go； if it bothers you so very much。〃
〃Don't even start on me；〃 Reece said。 〃I've had people preach to me all my life that I'm blessed and not cursed。 If my entire family couldn't convince me of it； you might as well not even try。〃
Rafael shrugged； then turned back to me。 〃Let's pick a different topic； because we are only minutes away from the lupanar； and I saw Micah's beast his energy pass through you； and your beast responded。〃
〃You saw it？〃 I asked。
He nodded。 〃His energy is very blue； and yours is very red； and they mingled。〃
〃So you got what； purple？〃 I said。
Micah hugged me a little tighter； a warning I think not to be flippant； but Rafael was more direct。 〃No jokes； Anita； if I saw it； so will Richard。〃
〃He's my Nimir…Raj；〃 I said。
〃You don't understand； Anita。 Micah said he thought birthmarks in the shape of your beast was legend。 Well； until just now； I believed talk of a perfect mate was legend。 Like true fated love； just a romantic story。〃 Rafael's already serious face got even more solemn。 〃You recognize some bond from the beginning； so the stories go； but it's only after you have sex for the first time that your beasts can roll through each other's bodies。 Only physical intimacy will allow such metaphysical intimacy。〃
I glanced down from those hard； demanding eyes； but finally made myself look back up。 〃What are you asking； Rafael？〃
〃Not really asking； telling。 Telling you that I know you had sex with Micah； and that； even though Richard has dumped you and publicly declared that you and he are no longer a couple； he won't like it。〃
That was an understatement。 I pulled away from Micah； and he let me go； no lingering touches。 I moved away； and he allowed it。 It earned him brownie points。 〃Richard dumped me； Rafael； not the other way around。 He doesn't have any right to bitch about what I do。〃
〃If he dumped her； then she's free to do what she wants；〃 Reece said。 〃The Ulfric has only himself to blame。〃
〃Logically； you're right； but when has logic dictated how a man acts when he sees the love of his life in someone else's arms？〃 The bitter way Rafael said it made me look at him； study his face。 He sounded like he was speaking from experience。
〃As Ulfric to my Nimir…Ra； he has no authority