the man who was afraid- 第31部分

〃Perhaps　I　really　ought　to　get　married；〃　thought　Foma；　with　a　sigh。

But　the　very　thought　of　how　easy　it　was　for　him　to　get　married　made　him　ill　at　ease；　and　even　ridiculous　in　his　own　eyes。　It　were　but　necessary　to　ask　his　godfather　tomorrow　for　a　bride；and　before　a　month　would　pass；　a　woman　would　live　with　him　in　his　house。　And　she　would　be　near　him　day　and　night。　He　would　say　to　her：　〃Let's　go　for　a　walk！　〃　and　she　would　go。　He　would　tell　her：　〃Let's　go　to　sleep！〃　and　again　she　would　go。　Should　she　desire　to　kiss　him；　she　would　kiss　him；　even　though　he　did　not　like　it。　And　if　he　should　tell　her：　〃Go　away；　I　don't　want　it；〃　she　would　feel　offended。　What　would　he　speak　to　her　about？　What　would　she　tell　him？　He　thought　and　pictured　to　himself　young　ladies　of　his　acquaintance；　daughters　of　merchants。　Some　of　them　were　very　pretty；　and　he　knew　that　any　one　of　them　would　marry　him　willingly。　But　he　did　not　care　to　have　any　of　them　as　his　wife。　How　awkward　and　shameful　it　must　be　when　a　girl　becomes　a　wife。　And　what　does　the　newly…married　couple　say　to　each　other　after　the　wedding；　in　the　bedroom？　Foma　tried　to　think　what　he　would　say　in　such　a　case；　and　confused；　he　began　to　laugh；　finding　no　appropriate　words。　Then　he　recalled　Luba　Mayakin。　She　would　surely　be　first　to　say　something；　uttering　some　unintelligible　words；　which　were　foreign　to　herself。　Somehow　it　seemed　to　him　that　all　her　words　were　foreign；　and　she　did　not　speak　as　was　proper　for　a　girl　of　her　age；　appearance　and　descent。

And　here　his　thoughts　rested　on　Lubov's　complaints。　His　gait　became　slower；　he　was　now　astounded　by　the　fact　that　all　the　people　that　were　near　to　him　and　with　whom　he　talked　a　great　deal；　always　spoke　to　him　of　life。　His　father；　his　aunt；　his　godfather；　Lubov；　Sophya　Pavlovna；　all　these　either　taught　him　to　understand　life；　or　complained　of　it。　He　recalled　the　words　said　by　the　old　man　on　the　steamer　about　Fate；　and　many　other　remarks　on　life；　reproaches　and　bitter　complaints　against　it；　which　he　happened　to　hear　from　all　sorts　of　people。

〃What　does　it　mean？〃　he　thought；　〃what　is　life；　if　it　is　not　man？　And　man　always　speaks　as　if　life　were　something　else；　something　outside　of　man；　and　that　something　hinders　him　from　living。　Perhaps　it　is　the　devil？〃

A　painful　feeling　of　fear　fell　on　the　youth；　he　shuddered　and　hastily　looked　around。　The　street　was　deserted　and　quiet；　the　dark　windows　of　the　houses　stared　dimly　into　the　dark　of　night；　and　along　the　walls　and　fences　Foma's　shadow　followed　him。

〃Driver！〃　he　cried　out　aloud；　quickening　his　steps。　The　shadow　started　and　crawled　after　him；　frightened；　black；　silent。　It　seemed　to　Foma　that　there　was　a　cold　breath　behind　him；　and　that　something　huge；　invisible；　and　terrible　was　overtaking　him。　Frightened；　he　almost　ran　to　meet　the　cab；　which　appeared　noisily　from　the　darkness；　and　when　he　seated　himself　in　the　cab；　he　dared　not　look　back；　though　he　wished　to　do　so。

CHAPTER　VII

ABOUT　a　week　passed　since　Foma　spoke　to　Medinskaya。　And　her　image　stood　fixedly　before　Foma　by　night　and　by　day；　awakening　in　his　heart　a　gnawing　feeling　of　anxiety。　He　longed　to　go　to　her；　and　was　so　much　afflicted　over　her　that　even　his　bones　were　aching　from　the　desire　of　his　heart　to　be　near　her　again。　But　he　was　sternly　silent；　he　frowned　and　did　not　care　to　yield　to　this　desire；　industriously　occupying　himself　with　his　affairs　and　provoking　in　himself　a　feeling　of　anger　against　the　woman。　He　felt　that　if　he　went　up　to　her；　he　would　no　longer　find　her　to　be　the　same　as　he　had　left　her；　something　must　have　changed　within　her　after　that　conversation；　and　she　would　no　longer　receive　him　as　cordially　as　before；　would　not　smile　at　him　the　clear　smile　that　used　to　awaken　in　him　strange　thoughts　and　hopes。　Fearing　that　all　this　was　lost　and　that　something　else　must　have　taken　its　place；　he　restrained　himself　and　suffered。

His　work　and　his　longing　for　the　woman　did　not　hinder　him　from　thinking　of　life。　He　did　not　philosophize　about　this　enigma；　which　was　already　stirring　a　feeling　of　alarm　in　his　heart；　he　was　not　able　to　argue；　but　he　began　to　listen　attentively　to　everything　that　men　said　of　life；　and　he　tried　to　remember　their　words。　They　did　not　make　anything　clear　to　him；　nay；　they　increased　his　perplexity　and　prompted　him　to　regard　them　suspiciously。　They　were　clever；　cunning　and　sensiblehe　saw　it；　in　dealings　with　them　it　was　always　necessary　to　be　on　one's　guard；　he　knew　already　that　in　important　matters　none　of　them　spoke　as　they　thought。　And　watching　them　carefully；　he　felt　that　their　sighs　and　their　complaints　of　life　awakened　in　him　distrust。　Silently　he　looked　at　everybody　with　suspicion；　and　a　thin　wrinkle　masked　his　forehead。

One　morning　his　godfather　said　to　him　on　the　Exchange：

〃Anany　has　arrived。　He　would　like　to　see　you。　Go　up　to　him　toward　evening；　and　see　that　you　hold　your　tongue。　Anany　will　try　to　loosen　it　in　order　to　make　you　talk　on　business　matters。　He　is　cunning；　the　old　devil；　he　is　a　holy　fox；　he'll　lift　his　eyes　toward　heaven；　and　meanwhile　will　put　his　paw　into　your　pocket　and　grab　your　purse。　Be　on　your　guard。〃

〃Do　we　owe　him　anything？〃　asked　Foma。

〃Of　course！　We　haven't　paid　yet　for　the　barge；　and　then　fifty　five…　fathom　beams　were　taken　from　him　not　long　ago。　If　he　wants　everything　at　oncedon't　give。　A　rouble　is　a　sticky　thing；　the　longer　it　turns　about　in　your　hand；　the　more　copecks　will　stick　to　it。　A　rouble　is　like　a　good　pigeonit　goes　up　in　the　air；　you　turn　around　and　seeit　has　brought　a　whole　flock　with　it　into　the　pigeon…house。〃

〃But　how　can　we　help　paying　it　now；　if　he　demands　it？〃

〃Let　him　cry　and　ask　for　itand　you　roarbut　don't　give　it　to　him。〃

I'll　go　up　there　soon。〃

Anany　Savvich　Shchurov　was　a　rich　lumber…dealer；　had　a　big　saw…　mill；　built　barges　and　ran　rafts。　He　had　had　dealings　with　Ignat；　and　Foma　had　more　than　once　seen　this　tall；　heavily…bearded；　long…　armed；　white…haired　old　man；　who　kept　himself　as　erect　as　a　pine…　tree。　His　big；　handsome　figure；　his　open　face　and　his　clear　eyes　called　forth　in　Foma　a　feeling　of　respect　for　Shchurov；　although　he　heard　it　rumoured　that　this　lumber…dealer　had　gained　his　wealth　not　by　honest　toil　and　that　he　was　leading　an　evil　life　at　home；　in　an　obscure　village　of　the　forest　district；　and　Ignat　had　told　Foma　that　when　Shchurov　was　young　and　was　but　a　poor　peasant；　he　sheltered　a　convict　in　the　bath…house；　in　his　garden；　and　that　there　the　convict　made　counterfeit　money　for　him。　Since　that　time　Anany　began　to　grow　rich。　One　day　his　bathhouse　burned　down；　and　in　the　ashes　they　discovered　the　corpse　of　a　man　with　a　fractured　skull。　There　was　a　rumour　in　the　village　that　Shchurov　himself　had　killed　his　workmankilled　and　then　burned　him。　Such　things　had　happened　more　than　once　with　the　good…looking　old　man；　but　similar　rumours　were　on　foot　with　reference　to　many　a　rich　man　in　town　they　had　all；　it　was　said；　hoarded　up　their　millions　by　way　of　robberies；　murders　and；　mainly；　by　passing　counterfeit　money。　Foma　had　heard　such　stories　in　his　childhood　and　he　never　before　considered　whether　they　were　true　or　not。

He　also　knew　that　Shchurov　had　got　rid　of　two　wivesone　of　them　died　during　the　first　night　of　the　wedding；　in　Anany's　embraces。　Then　he　took　his　son's　wife　away　from　him；　and　his　son　took　to　drink　for　grief　and　would　have　perished　in　drunkenness　had　he　not　come　to　himself　in　time　and　gone　off　to　save　himself　in　a　hermitage；　in　Irgiz。　And　when　his　mistress…daughter…in…law　had　passed　away；　Shchurov　took　into　his　house　a　dumb　beggar…girl；　who　was　living　with　him　to　this　day；　and　who　had　recently　borne　him　a　dead　child。　On　his　way　to　the　hotel；　where　Anany　stayed；　Foma　involuntarily　recalled　all　this；　and　felt　that　Shchurov　had　become　strangely　interesting　to　him。

When　Foma　opened　the　door　and　stopped　respectfully　on　the　threshold　of　the　small　room；　whose　only　window　overlooked　the　rusty　roof　of　the　neighbouring　house；　he　noticed　that　the　old　Shchurov　had　just　risen　from　sleep；　and　sitting　on　his　bed；　leaning　his　hands　against　it；　he　stared　at　the　ground；　and　he　was　so　bent　that　his　long；　white　beard　fell　over　his　knees。　But　even　bent；　he　was　large。

〃Who　entered？〃　asked　Anany　in　a　hoarse　and　angry　voice；　without　lifting　his　head。

〃I。　How　do　you　do；　Anany　Savvich？〃

The　old　man　raised　his　head　slowly　and；　winking　his　large　eyes；　looked　at　Foma。

〃Ignat's　son；　is　that　right？〃

〃The　same。〃

〃Well；　come　over　here；　sit　down　by　the　window。　Let　me　see　how　you've　grown　up。　Will　you　not　have　a　glass　of　tea　with　me？〃

〃I　wouldn't　mind。〃

〃Waiter！〃　cried　the　old　man；　expanding　his　chest；　and；　taking　his　beard　in　his　hand；　he　began　to　examine　Foma　in　silence。　Foma　also　looked　at　him　stealthily。

The　old　man's　lofty　forehead　was　all　covered　with　wrinkles；　and　its　skin　was　dark。　Gray；　curly　locks　covered　his　temples　and　his　sharp…　pointed　ears；　his　calm　blue　eyes　lent　the　upper　part　of　his　face　a　wise　and　good　expression。　But　his　cheeks　and　his　lips　were　thick　and　red；　and　seemed　out　of　place　on　his　face。　His　thin；　long　nose　was　turned　downward　as　though　it　wished　to　hide　itself　in　his　white　moustache；　the　old　man　moved　his　lips；　and　from　beneath　them　small；　yellow　teeth　were　gleaming。　He　had　on　a　pin