《the man who was afraid》

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the man who was afraid- 第34部分


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ed at his godson boastfully。

〃He speaks with weight;〃 repeated Foma。 〃He is complaining。 'The real merchant;' says he; 'is passing away。 All people are taught the same thing;' he says: 'so that all may be equal; looking alike。〃'

〃Does he consider it wrong?〃

〃Evidently so。〃

〃Fo…o…o…l!〃 Mayakin drawled out; with contempt。

〃Why? Is it good?〃 asked Foma; looking at his godfather suspiciously。

〃We do not know what is good; but we can see what is wise。 When we see that all sorts of people are driven together in one place and are all inspired there with one and the same ideathen must we acknowledge that it is wise。 Becausewhat is a man in the empire? Nothing more than a simple brick; and all bricks must be of the same size。 Do you understand? And those people that are of equal height and weightI can place in any position I like。〃

〃And whom does it please to be a brick?〃 said Foma; morosely。

〃It is not a question of pleasing; it is a matter of fact。 If you are made of hard material; they cannot plane you。 It is not everybody's phiz that you can rub off。 But some people; when beaten with a hammer; turn into gold。 And if the head happens to crack what can you do?It merely shows it was weak。〃

〃He also spoke about toil。 'Everything;' he says; 'is done by machinery; and thus are men spoiled。〃'

〃He is out of his wits!〃 Mayakin waved his hand disdainfully。 〃I am surprised; what an appetite you have for all sorts of nonsense! What does it come from?〃

〃Isn't that true; either?〃 asked Foma; breaking into stern laughter。

〃What true thing can he know? A machine! The old blockhead should have thought'what is the machine made of?' Of iron! Consequently; it need not be pitied; it is wound upand it forges roubles for you。 Without any words; without trouble; you set it into motion and it revolves。 While a man; he is uneasy and wretched; he is often very wretched。 He wails; grieves; weeps; begs。 Sometimes he gets drunk。 Ah; how much there is in him that is superfluous to me! While a machine is like an arshin (yardstick); it contains exactly so much as the work required。 Well; I am going to dress。 It is time。〃

He rose and went away; loudly scraping with his slippers along the floor。 Foma glanced after him and said softly; with a frown:

〃The devil himself could not see through all this。 One says this; the other; that。〃

〃It is precisely the same with books;〃 said Lubov in a low voice。

Foma looked at her; smiling good…naturedly。 And she answered him with a vague smile。

Her eyes looked fatigued and sad。

〃You still keep on reading?〃 asked Foma。

〃Yes;〃 the girl answered sadly。

〃And are you still lonesome?〃

〃I feel disgusted; because I am alone。 There's no one here to say a word to。〃

〃That's bad。〃

She said nothing to this; but; lowering her head; she slowly began to finger the fringes of the towel。

〃You ought to get married;〃 said Foma; feeling that he pitied her。

〃Leave me alone; please;〃 answered Lubov; wrinkling her forehead。

〃Why leave you alone? You will get married; I am sure。〃

〃There!〃 exclaimed the girl softly; with a sigh。 〃That's just what I am thinking ofit is necessary。 That is; I'll have to get married。 But how? Do you know; I feel now as though a mist stood between other people and myselfa thick; thick mist!〃

〃That's from your books;〃 Foma interposed confidently。

〃Wait! And I cease to understand what is going on about me。 Nothing pleases me。 Everything has become strange to me。 Nothing is as it should be。 Everything is wrong。 I see it。 I understand it; yet I cannot say that it is wrong; and why it is so。〃

〃It is not so; not so;〃 muttered Foma。 〃That's from your books。 Yes。 Although I also feel that it's wrong。 Perhaps that is because we are so young and foolish。〃

〃At first it seemed to me;〃 said Lubov; not listening to him; 〃that everything in the books was clear to me。 But now〃

〃Drop your books;〃 suggested Foma; with contempt。

〃Ah; don't say that! How can I drop them? You know how many different ideas there are in the world! O Lord! They're such ideas that set your head afire。 According to a certain book everything that exists on earth is rational。〃

〃Everything?〃 asked Foma。

〃Everything! While another book says the contrary is true。〃

〃Wait! Now isn't this nonsense?〃

〃What were you discussing?〃 asked Mayakin; appearing at the door; in a long frock…coat and with several medals on his collar and his breast。

〃Just so;〃 said Lubov; morosely。

〃We spoke about books;〃 added Foma。

〃What kind of books?〃

〃The books she is reading。 She read that everything on earth is rational。〃

〃Really!〃

〃Well; and I say it is a lie!〃

〃Yes。〃 Yakov Tarasovich became thoughtful; he pinched his beard and winked his eyes a little。

〃What kind of a book is it?〃 he asked his daughter; after a pause。

〃A little yellow…covered book;〃 said Lubov; unwillingly。

〃Just put that book on my table。 That is said not without reflectioneverything on earth is rational! See someone thought of it。 Yes。 It is even very cleverly expressed。 And were it not for the fools; it might have been perfectly correct。 But as fools are always in the wrong place; it cannot be said that everything on earth is rational。 And yet; I'll look at the book。 Maybe there is common sense in it。 Goodbye; Foma! Will you stay here; or do you want to drive with me?〃

〃I'll stay here a little longer。〃

〃Very well。〃

Lubov and Foma again remained alone。

〃What a man your father is;〃 said Foma; nodding his head toward the direction of his godfather。

〃Well; what kind of a man do you think he is?〃

〃He retorts every call; and wants to cover everything with his words。〃

〃Yes; he is clever。 And yet he does not understand how painful my life is;〃 said Lubov; sadly。

〃Neither do I understand it。 You imagine too much。〃

〃What do I imagine?〃 cried the girl; irritated。

〃Why; all these are not your own ideas。 They are someone else's。〃

〃Someone else's。 Someone else's。〃

She felt like saying something harsh; but broke down and became silent。 Foma looked at her and; setting Medinskaya by her side; thought sadly:

〃How different everything isboth men and womenand you never feel alike。〃

They sat opposite each other; both were lost in thought; and neither one looked at the other。 It was getting dark outside; and in the room it was quite dark already。 The wind was shaking the linden…trees; and their branches seemed to clutch at the walls of the house; as though they felt cold and implored for shelter in the rooms。

〃Luba!〃 said Foma; softly。

She raised her head and looked at him。

〃Do you know; I have quarrelled with Medinskaya。〃

〃Why?〃 asked Luba; brightening up。

〃So。 It came about that she offended me。 Yes; she offended me。〃

〃Well; it's good that you've quarrelled with her;〃 said the girl; approvingly; 〃for she would have turned your head。 She is a vile creature; she is a coquette; even worse than that。 Oh; what things I know about her!〃

〃She's not at all a vile creature;〃 said Foma; morosely。 〃And you don't know anything about her。 You are all lying!〃

〃Oh; I beg your pardon!〃

〃No。 See here; Luba;〃 said Foma; softly; in a beseeching tone; 〃don't speak ill of her in my presence。 It isn't necessary。 I know everything。 By God! She told me everything herself。〃

〃Herself!〃 exclaimed Luba; in astonishment。 〃What a strange woman she is! What did she tell you?〃

〃That she is guilty;〃 Foma ejaculated with difficulty; with a wry smile。

〃Is that all?〃 There was a ring of disappointment in the girl's question; Foma heard it and asked hopefully:

〃Isn't that enough?〃

〃What will you do now?〃

〃That's just what I am thinking about。〃

〃Do you love her very much?〃

Foma was silent。 He looked into the window and answered confusedly:

〃I don't know。 But it seems to me that now I love her more than before。〃

〃Than before the quarrel?〃

〃Yes。〃

〃I wonder how one can love such a woman!〃 said the girl; shrugging her shoulders。

〃Love such a woman? Of course! Why not?〃 exclaimed Foma。

〃I can't understand it。 I think; you have become attached to her just because you have not met a better woman。〃

〃No; I have not met a better one!〃 Foma assented; and after a moment's silence said shyly; 〃Perhaps there is none better。〃

〃Among our people;〃 Lubov interposed。

〃I need her very badly! Because; you see; I feel ashamed before her。〃

〃Why so?〃

〃Oh; in general; I fear her; that is; I would not want her to think ill of me; as of others。 Sometimes I feel disgusted。 I think wouldn't it be a great idea to go out on such a spree that all my veins would start tingling。 And then I recall her and I do not venture。 And so everything else; I think of her; 'What if she finds it out?' and I am afraid to do it。〃

〃Yes;〃 the girl drawled out thoughtfully; 〃that shows that you love her。 I would also be like this。 If I loved; I would think of him of what he might say。。。〃

〃And everything about her is so peculiar;〃 Foma related softly。 〃She speaks in a way all her own。 And; God! How beautiful she is! And then she is so small; like a child。〃

〃And what took place between you?〃 asked Lubov。

Foma moved his chair closer to her; and stooping; he lowered his voice fo
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