the man who was afraid- 第46部分

〃You're　always　saying　unnecessary　things。　It　is　lonesome　with　you。　You　make　me　sad。〃

Foma　lifted　his　head；　looked　at　her　and　burst　into　mournful　laughter。

〃Really？　Is　it　possible？〃

〃You　do　make　me　sad！　Do　you　know？　If　I　should　reflect　on　it；　I　would　understand　what　you　say　and　why　you　say　itfor　I　am　also　of　that　sortwhen　the　time　comes；　I　shall　also　think　of　all　this。　And　then　I　shall　be　lost。　But　now　it　is　too　early　for　me。　No；　I　want　to　live　yet；　and　then；　later；　come　what　will！〃

〃And　Iwill　I；　too；　be　lost？〃　asked　Foma；　indifferently；　already　fatigued　by　his　words。

〃Of　course！〃　replied　Sasha；　calmly　and　confidently。　〃All　such　people　are　lost。　He；　whose　character　is　inflexible；　and　who　has　no　brainswhat　sort　of　a　life　is　his？　We　are　like　this。〃

〃I　have　no　character　at　all；〃　said　Foma；　stretching　himself。　Then　after　a　moment's　silence　he　added：

〃And　I　have　no　brains；　either。〃

They　were　silent　for　a　minute；　eyeing　each　other。

〃What　are　we　going　to　do？〃　asked　Foma。

〃We　must　have　dinner。〃

〃No；　I　mean；　in　general？　Afterward？〃

〃Afterward？　I　don't　know？〃

〃So　you　are　leaving　me？〃

〃I　am。　Come；　let's　carouse　some　more　before　we　part。　Let's　go　to　Kazan；　and　there　we'll　have　a　spreesmoke　and　flame！　I'll　sing　your　farewell　song。〃

〃Very　well；〃　assented　Foma。　〃It's　quite　proper　at　leave　taking。　Eh；　you　devil！　That's　a　merry　life！　Listen；　Sasha。　They　say　that　women　of　your　kind　are　greedy　for　money；　are　even　thieves。〃

〃Let　them　say；〃　said　Sasha；　calmly。

〃Don't　you　feel　offended？〃　asked　Foma；　with　curiosity。　〃But　you　are　not　greedy。　It's　advantageous　to　you　to　be　with　me。　I　am　rich；　and　yet　you　are　going　away；　that　shows　you're　not　greedy。〃

〃I？〃　Sasha　thought　awhile　and　said　with　a　wave　of　the　hand：　〃Perhaps　I　am　not　greedywhat　of　it？　I　am　not　of　the　very　lowest　of　the　street　women。　And　against　whom　shall　I　feel　a　grudge？　Let　them　say　whatever　they　please。　It　will　be　only　human　talk；　not　the　bellowing　of　bulls。　And　human　holiness　and　honesty　are　quite　familiar　to　me！　Eh；　how　well　I　know　them！　If　I　were　chosen　as　a　judge；　I　would　acquit　the　dead　only　l〃　and　bursting　into　malicious　laughter；　Sasha　said：　〃Well；　that　will　do；　we've　spoken　enough　nonsense。　Sit　down　at　the　table！〃

On　the　morning　of　the　next　day　Foma　and　Sasha　stood　side　by　side　on　the　gangway　of　a　steamer　which　was　approaching　a　harbour　on　the　Ustye。　Sasha's　big　black　hat　attracted　everybody's　attention　by　its　deftly　bent　brim；　and　its　white　feathers；　and　Foma　was　ill　at　ease　as　he　stood　beside　her；　and　felt　as　though　inquisitive　glances　crawled　over　his　perplexed　face。　The　steamer　hissed　and　quivered　as　it　neared　the　landing…bridge；　which　was　sprinkled　by　a　waiting　crowd　of　people　attired　in　bright　summer　clothes；　and　it　seemed　to　Foma　that　he　noticed　among　the　crowd　of　various　faces　and　figures　a　person　he　knew；　who　now　seemed　to　be　hiding　behind　other　people's　backs；　and　yet　lifted　not　his　eye　from　him。

〃Let's　go　into　the　cabin！〃　said　he　to　his　companion　uneasily。

〃Don't　acquire　the　habit　of　hiding　your　sins　from　people；〃　replied　Sasha；　with　a　smile。　〃Have　you　perhaps　noticed　an　acquaintance　there？〃

〃Mm。　Yes。　Somebody　is　watching　me。〃

〃A　nurse　with　a　milk　bottle？　Ha；　ha；　ha！〃

〃Well；　there　you're　neighing！〃　said　Foma；　enraged；　looking　at　her　askance。　〃Do　you　think　I　am　afraid？〃

〃I　can　see　how　brave　you　are。〃

〃You'll　see。　I'll　face　anybody；〃　said　Foma；　angrily；　but　after　a　close　look　at　the　crowd　in　the　harbour　his　face　suddenly　assumed　another　expression；　and　he　added　softly：

〃Oh；　it's　my　godfather。〃

At　the　very　edge　of　the　landing…stage　stood　Yakov　Tarasovich；　squeezed　between　two　stout　women；　with　his　iron…like　face　lifted　upward；　and　he　waved　his　cap　in　the　air　with　malicious　politeness。　His　beard　shook；　his　bald　crown　flashed；　and　his　small　eye　pierced　Foma　like　borers。

〃What　a　vulture！〃　muttered　Foma；　raising　his　cap　and　nodding　his　head　to　his　godfather。

His　bow　evidently　afforded　great　pleasure　to　Mayakin。　The　old　man　somehow　coiled　himself　up；　stamped　his　feet；　and　his　face　seemed　beaming　with　a　malicious　smile。

〃The　little　boy　will　get　money　for　nuts；　it　seems！〃　Sasha　teased　Foma。　Her　words　together　with　his　godfather's　smile　seemed　to　have　kindled　a　fire　in　Foma's　breast。

〃We　shall　see　what　is　going　to　happen；〃　hissed　Foma；　and　suddenly　he　became　as　petrified　in　malicious　calm。　The　steamer　made　fast；　and　the　people　rushed　in　a　wave　to　the　landing…place。　Pressed　by　the　crowd；　Mayakin　disappeared　for　awhile　from　the　sight　of　his　godson　and　appeared　again　with　a　maliciously　triumphant　smile。　Foma　stared　at　him　fixedly；　with　knitted　brow；　and　came　toward　him　slowly　pacing　the　gang　planks。　They　jostled　him　in　the　back；　they　leaned　on　him；　they　squeezed　him；　and　this　provoked　Foma　still　more。　Now　he　came　face　to　face　with　the　old　man；　and　the　latter　greeted　him　with　a　polite　bow；　and　asked：

〃Whither　are　you　travelling；　Foma　Ignatyich？〃

〃About　my　affairs；〃　replied　Foma；　firmly；　without　greeting　his　godfather。

〃That's　praiseworthy；　my　dear　sir！〃　said　Yakov　Tarasovich；　all　beaming　with　a　smile。　〃The　lady　with　the　featherswhat　is　she　to　you；　may　I　ask？〃

〃She's　my　mistress；〃　said　Foma；　loud；　without　lowering　his　eyes　at　the　keen　look　of　his　godfather。

Sasha　stood　behind　him　calmly　examining　over　his　shoulder　the　little　old　man；　whose　head　hardly　reached　Foma's　chin。　Attracted　by　Foma's　loud　words；　the　public　looked　at　them；　scenting　a　scandal。　And　Mayakin；　too；　perceived　immediately　the　possibility　of　a　scandal　and　instantly　estimated　correctly　the　quarrelsome　mood　of　his　godson。　He　contracted　his　wrinkles；　bit　his　lips；　and　said　to　Foma；　peaceably：

〃I　have　something　to　speak　to　you　about。　Will　you　come　with　me　to　the　hotel？〃

〃Yes；　for　a　little　while。〃

〃You　have　no　time；　then？　It's　a　plain　thing；　you　must　be　making　haste　to　wreck　another　barge；　eh？〃　said　the　old　man；　unable　to　contain　himself　any　longer。

〃And　why　not　wreck　them；　since　they　can　be　wrecked？〃　retorted　Foma；　passionately　and　firmly。

〃Of　course；　you　did　not　earn　them　yourself；　why　should　you　spare　them？　Well；　come。　And　couldn't　we　drown　that　lady　in　the　water　for　awhile？〃　said　Mayakin；　softly。

〃Drive　to　the　town；　Sasha；　and　engage　a　room　at　the　Siberian　Inn。　I'll　be　there　shortly！〃　said　Foma　and　turning　to　Mayakin；　he　announced　boldly：

〃I　am　ready！　Let　us　go！〃

Neither　of　them　spoke　on　their　way　to　the　hotel。　Foma；　seeing　that　his　godfather　had　to　skip　as　he　went　in　order　to　keep　up　with　him；　purposely　took　longer　strides；　and　the　fact　that　the　old　man　could　not　keep　step　with　him　supported　and　strengthened　in　him　the　turbulent　feeling　of　protest　which　he　was　by　this　time　scarcely　able　to　master。

〃Waiter！〃　said　Mayakin；　gently；　on　entering　the　hall　of　the　hotel；　and　turning　toward　a　remote　corner；　〃let　us　have　a　bottle　of　moorberry　kvass。〃

〃And　I　want　some　cognac；〃　ordered　Foma。

〃So…o！　When　you　have　poor　cards　you　had　better　always　play　the　lowest　trump　first！〃　Mayakin　advised　him　sarcastically。

〃You　don't　know　my　game！〃　said　Foma；　seating　himself　by　the　table。

〃Really？　Come；　come！　Many　play　like　that。〃

〃How？〃

〃I　mean　as　you　doboldly；　but　foolishly。〃

〃I　play　so　that　either　the　head　is　smashed　to　pieces；　or　the　wall　broken　in　half；〃　said　Foma；　hotly；　and　struck　the　table　with　his　fist。

〃Haven't　you　recovered　from　your　drunkenness　yet？〃　asked　Mayakin　with　a　smile。

Foma　seated　himself　more　firmly　in　his　chair；　and；　his　face　distorted　with　wrathful　agitation；　he　said：

〃Godfather；　you　are　a　sensible　man。　I　respect　you　for　your　common　sense。〃

〃Thank　you；　my　son！〃　and　Mayakin　bowed；　rising　slightly；　and　leaning　his　hands　against　the　table。

〃Don't　mention　it。　I　want　to　tell　you　that　I　am　no　longer　twenty。　I　am　not　a　child　any　longer。〃

〃Of　course　not！〃　assented　Mayakin。　〃You've　lived　a　good　while；　that　goes　without　saying！　If　a　mosquito　had　lived　as　long　it　might　have　grown　as　big　as　a　hen。〃

〃Stop　your　joking！〃　Foma　warned　him；　and　he　did　it　so　calmly　that　Mayakin　started　back；　and　the　wrinkles　on　his　face　quivered　with　alarm。

〃What　did　you　come　here　for？〃　asked　Foma。

〃Ah！　you've　done　some　nasty　work　here。　So　I　want　to　find　out　whether　there's　much　damage　in　it！　You　see；　I　am　a　relative　of　yours。　And　then；　I　am　the　only　one　you　have。〃

〃You　are　troubling　yourself　in　vain。　Do　you　know；　papa；　what　I'll　tell　you？　Either　give　me　full　freedom；　or　take　all　my　business　into　your　own　hands。　Take　everything！　Everythingto　the　last　rouble！〃

This　proposition　burst　forth　from　Foma　altogether　unexpectedly　to　himself；　he　had　never　before　thought　of　anything　like　it。　But　now　that　he　uttered　such　words　to　his　godfather　it　suddenly　became　clear　to　him　that　if　his　godfather　were　to　take　from　him　all　his　property　he　would　become　a　perfectly　free　man；　he　could　go　wherever　he　pleased；　do　whatever　he　pleased。　Until　this　moment　he　had　been　bound　and　enmeshed　with　something；　but　he　knew　not　his　fetters　and　was　unable　to　break　them；　while　now　they　were　falling　off　of　themselves　so　simply；　so　easily。　Both　an　alarming　and　a　joyous　hope　blazed　up　within　his　breast；　as　though　he　noticed　that　suddenly　light　had　begun　to　flash　upon　his　turbid　life；　that　a　wide；　spacious　road　lay　ope