one in the palace for her kindness and affability。
I recall in reference to Madame Mere an incident which greatly amused the
Empress Josephine。 Madame was spending several days at Malmaison； when
one day one of her ladies； whom she had caused to be sent for； found； on
entering the room； to her great astonishment； Cardinal Fesch discharging
the duty of a lady's maid by lacing up his sister； who had on only her
underclothing and her corset。
One of the subjects on which the Emperor would listen to no raillery was
that of custom…house duties； and towards all contraband proceeding he
showed inflexible severity； and this reached such a point； that one day
M。 Soiris； director of the custom…house at Verceil； having seized a
package of sixty cashmere shawls； sent from Constantinople to the
Empress； the Emperor approved his action； and the cashmeres were sold for
the benefit of the state。 In such cases the Emperor always said； 〃How
can a sovereign have the laws respected if he does not respect them
himself？〃 I recall another occasion； and I think the only instance in
which he permitted an infraction of the custom…house regulations； but we
shall see the question was not that of ordinary smuggling。
The grenadiers of the Old Guard； under the orders of General Soules；
returned to France after the peace of Tilsit。 On their arrival at
Mayence； the custom…house officers endeavored to perform their duty； and
consequently inspected the chests of the Guard and those of the general。
Meanwhile； the director of the custom…house； in doubt what proceedings to
take； sought the general to inform him of the necessity he was under of
executing the laws； and of carrying out the direct orders of the Emperor。
The general's reply to this courteous overture was plain and energetic：
〃If a single officer dares to place his hand on the boxes of my old
mustaches； I'll throw him into the Rhine！〃 The officer insisted。 The
custom…house employees were quite numerous； and were preparing to proceed
with the inspection； when General Soules had the boxes put in the middle
of the square； and a regiment detailed to guard them。 The director of
the custom…house； not daring to proceed further； sent to the director…
general a report to be submitted to the Emperor。 Under any other
circumstances the case would have been serious； but the Emperor had just
returned to Paris； where he had been welcomed more heartily than ever
before by the acclamations of the people on the occasion of the fetes
celebrated in honor of peace； and this old Guard was returning home
resplendent with glory； and after most admirable behavior at Eylau。 All
these things combined to quell the Emperor's anger； and having decided
not to punish； he wished to reward them； and not to take seriously their
infraction of his custom…house regulations。 General Soules； on reaching
Paris； presented himself before the Emperor； who received him cordially；
and； after some remarks relative to the Guard； added： 〃By the by； what is
this you have been doing？ I heard of you。 What！ you really threatened
to throw my custom…house officers into the Rhine！ Would you have done
it？〃〃Yes； Sire；〃 replied the general； with his German accent； 〃yes； I
would have done it。 It was an insult to my old grenadiers to attempt
to inspect their boxes。〃〃Come； now；〃 said the Emperor very affably；
〃I see just how it is。 You have been smuggling。〃〃I； Sire？〃〃Yes； I
say。 You have been smuggling。 You bought linen in Hanover。 You wanted
to furnish your house handsomely； as you imagined I would appoint you
senator。 You were not mistaken。 Go and have your senator's coat made；
but do not repeat this performance； for next time I will have you shot。〃
During our stay at Bayonne； in 1808； every one was struck with the
awkward manners of the King and Queen of Spain； and the poor taste
displayed in their toilets； the disgraceful appearance of their
equipages； and a certain air of constraint and embarrassment which was
general among all the persons of their suite。 The elegant manners of the
French and the magnificence of the imperial equipages furnished such a
contrast to all this that it rendered them indescribably ridiculous。 The
Emperor； who had such exquisite tact in all matters； was not one of the
last to perceive this； but； nevertheless； was not pleased that an
opportunity should be found to ridicule crowned heads。 One morning at
his toilet he said to me； 〃I say； then； Monsieur le drole； you； who are
so well versed in these matters； give a few hints to the valet de chambre
of the King and Queen of Spain。 They appear so awkward they really
excite my pity。〃 I eagerly did what his Majesty suggested； but he did
not content himself with this； but also communicated to the Empress
Josephine his observations on the queen and her ladies。 The Empress
Josephine； who was the embodiment of taste； gave orders accordingly； and
for two days her hairdressers and women were occupied exclusively in
giving lessons in taste and elegance to their Spanish brethren。 This is
a striking evidence of how the Emperor found time for everything； and
could descend from his elevated duties to the most insignificant affairs。
The grand marshal of the palace （Duroc） was almost the same height as the
Emperor。 He walked badly and ungracefully； but had a tolerably good head
and features。 He was quick tempered； impulsive； and swore like a
soldier； but he had much administrative ability； of which he gave more
than one proof in the organization of the imperial household； which was
ably and wisely regulated。 When the enemy's cannon deprived his Majesty
of this devoted servitor and sincere friend； the Empress Josephine said
that she knew only two men capable of filling his place； these were
General Drouot and M。 de Flahaut； and the whole household hoped that one
of these two gentlemen would be nominated； this； however； was not the
case。
M。 de Caulaincourt； Duke of Vicenza； was extremely severe towards the
household； but he was just and of a chivalrous loyalty； and his word was
as good as a contract： He was feared and yet beloved。 He had a piercing
eye； spoke quickly and with great ease。 The Emperor's regard for him was
well known； and certainly no one was more worthy of it than he。
The Count de Remusat was of medium height； with a smooth； white face；
obliging； amiable； and with natural politeness and good taste； but he was
extravagant； lacked order in managing his own affairs and consequently
those of the Emperor。 This lavish expenditure； which is admirable from
one point of view； might have suited any other sovereign； but the Emperor
was economical； and though； much attached to M。 de Remusat； dismissed him
from the head of the wardrobe bureau； and put in his place Monsieur de
Turenne； who exercised the strictest economy。 M。 de Turenne possessed
perhaps a little too much of what his predecessor lacked； but it was
exactly this that pleased the Emperor。 M。 de Turenne was quite a pretty
man； thinking perhaps a little too much of himself； a great talker and
Anglo…maniac； which led the Emperor to give him the name of my lord
Kinsester （who cannot be silent）； but he told a story well； and sometimes
his Majesty took pleasure in making him relate the chronicles of Paris。
When the Count of Turenne replaced the Count of Remusat in the office of
grand master of the wardrobe； in order not to exceed the sum of twenty
thousand francs which his Majesty allowed for his toilet； he exercised
the greatest possible economy in the quantity； price； and quality of
things indispensable to the household。 I have been told； but I do not
know whether it is true； that； in order to ascertain exactly what were
the profits of the Emperor's furnishers； he went to the various factories
of Paris with samples of gloves； silk stockings； aloes wood； etc。； but；
even if this is true； it only does honor to the zeal and probity of M。 de
Turenne。
I knew very little of Count Segur； grand master of ceremonies。 It was
said in the household that he was haughty and somewhat abrupt； but
perfectly polite and intelligent； with a delicate and refined face。
It would be necessary to have witnessed the perfect order which reigned
in the Emperor's household to comprehend it fully。 From the time of the
Consulate； General Duroc had brought into the administration of the
interior affairs of the palace that spirit of order and economy which
especially characterized him。 But； great as was the Emperor's confidence
in General Duroc； he did not disdain to throw the glance of a master over
things which seemed insignificant； and with which； in general； sovereigns
rarely occupy themselves。 Thus； for example； in the beginning of the
Empire there was some little extravagance in certain parts of the palace；
notably at Saint…Cloud； where the aides…de…camp kept open table； but this
was； nevertheless； far from equaling the excessive prodigality of the
ancient regime。 Champagne and other wines especially were used in great
quantities； and it was very necessary that the Emperor should establish
regulations as to his cellar。 He summoned the chief of the household
service； Soupe Pierrugues； and said t