the turn of the screw- 第10部分

〃From　where　they　come　from！　　She　just　appeared　and　stood　there

but　not　so　near。〃



〃And　without　coming　nearer？〃



〃Oh；　for　the　effect　and　the　feeling；　she　might　have　been　as　close　as　you！〃



My　friend；　with　an　odd　impulse；　fell　back　a　step。

〃Was　she　someone　you've　never　seen？〃



〃Yes。　　But　someone　the　child　has。　　Someone　YOU　have。〃

Then；　to　show　how　I　had　thought　it　all　out：　　〃My　predecessor

the　one　who　died。〃



〃Miss　Jessel？〃



〃Miss　Jessel。　　You　don't　believe　me？〃　　I　pressed。



She　turned　right　and　left　in　her　distress。　　〃How　can　you　be　sure？〃



This　drew　from　me；　in　the　state　of　my　nerves；　a　flash　of　impatience。

〃Then　ask　FloraSHE'S　sure！〃　　But　I　had　no　sooner　spoken

than　I　caught　myself　up。　　〃No；　for　God's　sake；　DON'T！〃

She'll　say　she　isn'tshe'll　lie！〃



Mrs。　Grose　was　not　too　bewildered　instinctively　to　protest。

〃Ah；　how　CAN　you？〃



〃Because　I'm　clear。　　Flora　doesn't　want　me　to　know。〃



〃It's　only　then　to　spare　you。〃



〃No；　nothere　are　depths；　depths！　　The　more　I　go　over　it；

the　more　I　see　in　it；　and　the　more　I　see　in　it；　the　more　I　fear。

I　don't　know　what　I　DON'T　seewhat　I　DON'T　fear！〃



Mrs。　Grose　tried　to　keep　up　with　me。　　〃You　mean　you're　afraid

of　seeing　her　again？〃



〃Oh；　no；　that's　nothingnow！〃　　Then　I　explained。

〃It's　of　NOT　seeing　her。〃



But　my　companion　only　looked　wan。　　〃I　don't　understand　you。〃



〃Why；　it's　that　the　child　may　keep　it　upand　that　the　child　assuredly

WILLwithout　my　knowing　it。〃



At　the　image　of　this　possibility　Mrs。　Grose　for　a　moment　collapsed；

yet　presently　to　pull　herself　together　again；　as　if　from　the　positive

force　of　the　sense　of　what；　should　we　yield　an　inch；　there　would

really　be　to　give　way　to。　　〃Dear；　dearwe　must　keep　our　heads！

And　after　all；　if　she　doesn't　mind　it！〃　She　even　tried　a　grim　joke。

〃Perhaps　she　likes　it！〃



〃Likes　SUCH　thingsa　scrap　of　an　infant！〃



〃Isn't　it　just　a　proof　of　her　blessed　innocence？〃　my　friend　bravely　inquired。



She　brought　me；　for　the　instant；　almost　round。

〃Oh；　we　must　clutch　at　THATwe　must　cling　to　it！

If　it　isn't　a　proof　of　what　you　say；　it's　a　proof　ofGod　knows　what！

For　the　woman's　a　horror　of　horrors。〃



Mrs。　Grose；　at　this；　fixed　her　eyes　a　minute　on　the　ground；

then　at　last　raising　them；　〃Tell　me　how　you　know；〃　she　said。



〃Then　you　admit　it's　what　she　was？〃　　I　cried。



〃Tell　me　how　you　know；〃　my　friend　simply　repeated。



〃Know？　　By　seeing　her！　　By　the　way　she　looked。〃



〃At　you；　do　you　meanso　wickedly？〃



〃Dear　me；　noI　could　have　borne　that。　　She　gave　me　never　a　glance。

She　only　fixed　the　child。〃



Mrs。　Grose　tried　to　see　it。　　〃Fixed　her？〃



〃Ah；　with　such　awful　eyes！〃



She　stared　at　mine　as　if　they　might　really　have　resembled　them。

〃Do　you　mean　of　dislike？〃



〃God　help　us；　no。　　Of　something　much　worse。〃



〃Worse　than　dislike？this　left　her　indeed　at　a　loss。



〃With　a　determinationindescribable。　　With　a　kind　of　fury　of　intention。〃



I　made　her　turn　pale。　　〃Intention？〃



〃To　get　hold　of　her。〃　　Mrs。　Groseher　eyes　just　lingering

on　minegave　a　shudder　and　walked　to　the　window；

and　while　she　stood　there　looking　out　I　completed　my　statement。

〃THAT'S　what　Flora　knows。〃



After　a　little　she　turned　round。　　〃The　person　was　in　black；　you　say？〃



〃In　mourningrather　poor；　almost　shabby。　　Butyeswith

extraordinary　beauty。〃　　I　now　recognized　to　what　I　had　at　last；

stroke　by　stroke；　brought　the　victim　of　my　confidence；　for　she　quite

visibly　weighed　this。　　〃Oh；　handsomevery；　very；〃　I　insisted；

〃wonderfully　handsome。　　But　infamous。〃



She　slowly　came　back　to　me。　　〃Miss　JesselWAS　infamous。〃

She　once　more　took　my　hand　in　both　her　own；　holding　it

as　tight　as　if　to　fortify　me　against　the　increase　of　alarm　I

might　draw　from　this　disclosure。　　〃They　were　both　infamous；〃

she　finally　said。



So；　for　a　little；　we　faced　it　once　more　together；　and　I　found　absolutely

a　degree　of　help　in　seeing　it　now　so　straight。　　〃I　appreciate；〃

I　said；　〃the　great　decency　of　your　not　having　hitherto　spoken；

but　the　time　has　certainly　come　to　give　me　the　whole　thing。〃

She　appeared　to　assent　to　this；　but　still　only　in　silence；

seeing　which　I　went　on：　　〃I　must　have　it　now。　　Of　what　did　she　die？

Come；　there　was　something　between　them。〃



〃There　was　everything。〃



〃In　spite　of　the　difference？〃



〃Oh；　of　their　rank；　their　condition〃she　brought　it　woefully　out。

〃SHE　was　a　lady。〃



I　turned　it　over；　I　again　saw。　　〃Yesshe　was　a　lady。〃



〃And　he　so　dreadfully　below；〃　said　Mrs。　Grose。



I　felt　that　I　doubtless　needn't　press　too　hard；　in　such　company；

on　the　place　of　a　servant　in　the　scale；　but　there　was　nothing　to　prevent

an　acceptance　of　my　companion's　own　measure　of　my　predecessor's　abasement。

There　was　a　way　to　deal　with　that；　and　I　dealt；　the　more　readily

for　my　full　visionon　the　evidenceof　our　employer's　late　clever；

good…looking　〃own〃　man；　impudent；　assured；　spoiled；　depraved。

〃The　fellow　was　a　hound。〃



Mrs。　Grose　considered　as　if　it　were　perhaps　a　little　a　case

for　a　sense　of　shades。　　〃I've　never　seen　one　like　him。

He　did　what　he　wished。〃



〃With　HER？〃



〃With　them　all。〃



It　was　as　if　now　in　my　friend's　own　eyes　Miss　Jessel　had　again　appeared。

I　seemed　at　any　rate；　for　an　instant；　to　see　their　evocation　of　her　as

distinctly　as　I　had　seen　her　by　the　pond；　and　I　brought　out　with　decision：

〃It　must　have　been　also　what　SHE　wished！〃



Mrs。　Grose's　face　signified　that　it　had　been　indeed；　but　she　said

at　the　same　time：　　〃Poor　womanshe　paid　for　it！〃



〃Then　you　do　know　what　she　died　of？〃　　I　asked。



〃NoI　know　nothing。　　I　wanted　not　to　know；　I　was　glad　enough　I　didn't；

and　I　thanked　heaven　she　was　well　out　of　this！〃



〃Yet　you　had；　then；　your　idea〃



〃Of　her　real　reason　for　leaving？　　Oh；　yesas　to　that。

She　couldn't　have　stayed。　　Fancy　it　herefor　a　governess！

And　afterward　I　imaginedand　I　still　imagine。　　And　what　I

imagine　is　dreadful。〃



〃Not　so　dreadful　as　what　_I_　do；〃　I　replied；　on　which　I　must

have　shown　heras　I　was　indeed　but　too　consciousa　front　of

miserable　defeat。　　It　brought　out　again　all　her　compassion　for　me；

and　at　the　renewed　touch　of　her　kindness　my　power　to　resist　broke　down。

I　burst；　as　I　had；　the　other　time；　made　her　burst；　into　tears；

she　took　me　to　her　motherly　breast；　and　my　lamentation　overflowed。

〃I　don't　do　it！〃　　I　sobbed　in　despair；　〃I　don't　save　or　shield　them！

It's　far　worse　than　I　dreamedthey're　lost！〃







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　VIII





What　I　had　said　to　Mrs。　Grose　was　true　enough：　　there　were　in　the　matter　I

had　put　before　her　depths　and　possibilities　that　I　lacked　resolution　to　sound；

so　that　when　we　met　once　more　in　the　wonder　of　it　we　were　of　a　common　mind

about　the　duty　of　resistance　to　extravagant　fancies。　　We　were　to　keep　our

heads　if　we　should　keep　nothing　elsedifficult　indeed　as　that　might　be　in

the　face　of　what；　in　our　prodigious　experience；　was　least　to　be　questioned。

Late　that　night；　while　the　house　slept；　we　had　another　talk　in　my　room；

when　she　went　all　the　way　with　me　as　to　its　being　beyond　doubt　that　I

had　seen　exactly　what　I　had　seen。　　To　hold　her　perfectly　in　the　pinch

of　that；　I　found　I　had　only　to　ask　her　how；　if　I　had　〃made　it　up；〃

I　came　to　be　able　to　give；　of　each　of　the　persons　appearing　to　me；

a　picture　disclosing；　to　the　last　detail；　their　special　marksa　portrait

on　the　exhibition　of　which　she　had　instantly　recognized　and　named　them。

She　wished　of　coursesmall　blame　to　her！to　sink　the　whole　subject；

and　I　was　quick　to　assure　her　that　my　own　interest　in　it　had　now

violently　taken　the　form　of　a　search　for　the　way　to　escape　from　it。

I　encountered　her　on　the　ground　of　a　probability　that　with　recurrence

for　recurrence　we　took　for　grantedI　should　get　used　to　my　danger；

distinctly　professing　that　my　personal　exposure　had　suddenly　become

the　least　of　my　discomforts。　　It　was　my　new　suspicion　that　was　intolerable；

and　yet　even　to　this　complication　the　later　hours　of　the　day　had　brought

a　little　ease。



On　leaving　her；　after　my　first　outbreak；　I　had　of　course　returned

to　my　pupils；　associating　the　right　remedy　for　my　dismay　with

that　sense　of　their　charm　which　I　had　already　found　to　be　a　thing

I　could　positively　cultivate　and　which　had　never　failed　me　yet。

I　had　simply；　in　other　words；　plunged　afresh　into　Flora's

special　society　and　there　become　awareit　was　almost　a　luxury！

that　she　could　put　her　little　conscious　hand　straight　upon

the　spot　that　ached。　　She　had　looked　at　me　in　sweet　speculation

and　then　had　accused　me　to　my　face　of　having　〃cried。〃

I　had　supposed　I　had　brushed　away　the　ugly　signs：　　but　I

could　literallyfor　the　time；　at　all　eventsrejoice；　under　this

fathomless　charity；　that　they　had　not　entirely　disappeared。

To　gaze　into　the　depths　of　blue　of　the　child's　eyes　and　pronounce

their　loveliness　a　trick　of　premature　cunning　was　to　be　guilty

of　a　cynicism　in　preference　to　wh