the turn of the screw- 第13部分

me　from　the　tower　and　from　the　garden。　　He　knew　me　as　well　as　I　knew　him；

and　so；　in　the　cold；　faint　twilight；　with　a　glimmer　in　the　high　glass

and　another　on　the　polish　of　the　oak　stair　below；　we　faced　each

other　in　our　common　intensity。　　He　was　absolutely；　on　this　occasion；

a　living；　detestable；　dangerous　presence。　　But　that　was　not　the　wonder

of　wonders；　I　reserve　this　distinction　for　quite　another　circumstance：

the　circumstance　that　dread　had　unmistakably　quitted　me　and　that　there

was　nothing　in　me　there　that　didn't　meet　and　measure　him。



I　had　plenty　of　anguish　after　that　extraordinary　moment；

but　I　had；　thank　God；　no　terror。　　And　he　knew　I　had　notI　found

myself　at　the　end　of　an　instant　magnificently　aware　of　this。

I　felt；　in　a　fierce　rigor　of　confidence；　that　if　I　stood

my　ground　a　minute　I　should　ceasefor　the　time；　at　least

to　have　him　to　reckon　with；　and　during　the　minute；　accordingly；

the　thing　was　as　human　and　hideous　as　a　real　interview：

hideous　just　because　it　WAS　human；　as　human　as　to　have

met　alone；　in　the　small　hours；　in　a　sleeping　house；　some　enemy；

some　adventurer；　some　criminal。　　It　was　the　dead　silence　of　our

long　gaze　at　such　close　quarters　that　gave　the　whole　horror；

huge　as　it　was；　its　only　note　of　the　unnatural。　　If　I　had　met

a　murderer　in　such　a　place　and　at　such　an　hour；　we　still　at

least　would　have　spoken。　　Something　would　have　passed；　in　life；

between　us；　if　nothing　had　passed；　one　of　us　would　have　moved。

The　moment　was　so　prolonged　that　it　would　have　taken　but　little

more　to　make　me　doubt　if　even　_I_　were　in　life。　　I　can't

express　what　followed　it　save　by　saying　that　the　silence　itself

which　was　indeed　in　a　manner　an　attestation　of　my　strength

became　the　element　into　which　I　saw　the　figure　disappear；

in　which　I　definitely　saw　it　turn　as　I　might　have　seen　the　low

wretch　to　which　it　had　once　belonged　turn　on　receipt　of　an　order；

and　pass；　with　my　eyes　on　the　villainous　back　that　no　hunch

could　have　more　disfigured；　straight　down　the　staircase

and　into　the　darkness　in　which　the　next　bend　was　lost。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　X





I　remained　awhile　at　the　top　of　the　stair；　but　with　the　effect

presently　of　understanding　that　when　my　visitor　had　gone；　he　had　gone：

then　I　returned　to　my　room。　　The　foremost　thing　I　saw　there

by　the　light　of　the　candle　I　had　left　burning　was　that　Flora's

little　bed　was　empty；　and　on　this　I　caught　my　breath　with　all

the　terror　that；　five　minutes　before；　I　had　been　able　to　resist。

I　dashed　at　the　place　in　which　I　had　left　her　lying　and　over　which

（for　the　small　silk　counterpane　and　the　sheets　were　disarranged）

the　white　curtains　had　been　deceivingly　pulled　forward；

then　my　step；　to　my　unutterable　relief；　produced　an　answering　sound：

I　perceived　an　agitation　of　the　window　blind；　and　the　child；

ducking　down；　emerged　rosily　from　the　other　side　of　it。

She　stood　there　in　so　much　of　her　candor　and　so　little　of　her　nightgown；

with　her　pink　bare　feet　and　the　golden　glow　of　her　curls。

She　looked　intensely　grave；　and　I　had　never　had　such　a　sense　of　losing

an　advantage　acquired　（the　thrill　of　which　had　just　been　so　prodigious）

as　on　my　consciousness　that　she　addressed　me　with　a　reproach。

〃You　naughty：　　where　HAVE　you　been？〃instead　of　challenging

her　own　irregularity　I　found　myself　arraigned　and　explaining。

She　herself　explained；　for　that　matter；　with　the　loveliest；

eagerest　simplicity。　　She　had　known　suddenly；　as　she　lay　there；

that　I　was　out　of　the　room；　and　had　jumped　up　to　see　what　had

become　of　me。　　I　had　dropped；　with　the　joy　of　her　reappearance；

back　into　my　chairfeeling　then；　and　then　only；　a　little　faint；

and　she　had　pattered　straight　over　to　me；　thrown　herself　upon

my　knee；　given　herself　to　be　held　with　the　flame　of　the　candle　full

in　the　wonderful　little　face　that　was　still　flushed　with　sleep。

I　remember　closing　my　eyes　an　instant；　yieldingly；　consciously；

as　before　the　excess　of　something　beautiful　that　shone　out　of　the　blue

of　her　own。　　〃You　were　looking　for　me　out　of　the　window？〃　　I　said。

〃You　thought　I　might　be　walking　in　the　grounds？〃



〃Well；　you　know；　I　thought　someone　was〃she　never　blanched　as　she

smiled　out　that　at　me。



Oh；　how　I　looked　at　her　now！　　〃And　did　you　see　anyone？〃



〃Ah；　NO！〃　she　returned；　almost　with　the　full　privilege

of　childish　inconsequence；　resentfully；　though　with　a　long

sweetness　in　her　little　drawl　of　the　negative。



At　that　moment；　in　the　state　of　my　nerves；　I　absolutely　believed

she　lied；　and　if　I　once　more　closed　my　eyes　it　was　before　the　dazzle

of　the　three　or　four　possible　ways　in　which　I　might　take　this　up。

One　of　these；　for　a　moment；　tempted　me　with　such　singular　intensity　that；

to　withstand　it；　I　must　have　gripped　my　little　girl　with　a　spasm　that；

wonderfully；　she　submitted　to　without　a　cry　or　a　sign　of　fright。

Why　not　break　out　at　her　on　the　spot　and　have　it　all　over？

give　it　to　her　straight　in　her　lovely　little　lighted　face？

〃You　see；　you　see；　you　KNOW　that　you　do　and　that　you　already　quite

suspect　I　believe　it；　therefore；　why　not　frankly　confess　it　to　me；

so　that　we　may　at　least　live　with　it　together　and　learn　perhaps；

in　the　strangeness　of　our　fate；　where　we　are　and　what　it　means？〃

This　solicitation　dropped；　alas；　as　it　came：　　if　I　could　immediately

have　succumbed　to　it　I　might　have　spared　myselfwell；　you'll　see　what。

Instead　of　succumbing　I　sprang　again　to　my　feet；　looked　at　her　bed；

and　took　a　helpless　middle　way。　　〃Why　did　you　pull　the　curtain

over　the　place　to　make　me　think　you　were　still　there？〃



Flora　luminously　considered；　after　which；　with　her　little　divine　smile：

〃Because　I　don't　like　to　frighten　you！〃



〃But　if　I　had；　by　your　idea；　gone　out？〃



She　absolutely　declined　to　be　puzzled；　she　turned　her　eyes　to　the　flame

of　the　candle　as　if　the　question　were　as　irrelevant；　or　at　any　rate

as　impersonal；　as　Mrs。　Marcet　or　nine…times…nine。　〃Oh；　but　you　know；〃

she　quite　adequately　answered；　〃that　you　might　come　back；　you　dear；

and　that　you　HAVE！〃　And　after　a　little；　when　she　had　got　into　bed；

I　had；　for　a　long　time；　by　almost　sitting　on　her　to　hold　her　hand；

to　prove　that　I　recognized　the　pertinence　of　my　return。



You　may　imagine　the　general　complexion；　from　that　moment；　of　my　nights。

I　repeatedly　sat　up　till　I　didn't　know　when；　I　selected　moments　when　my

roommate　unmistakably　slept；　and；　stealing　out；　took　noiseless　turns

in　the　passage　and　even　pushed　as　far　as　to　where　I　had　last　met　Quint。

But　I　never　met　him　there　again；　and　I　may　as　well　say　at　once

that　I　on　no　other　occasion　saw　him　in　the　house。　　I　just　missed；

on　the　staircase；　on　the　other　hand；　a　different　adventure。

Looking　down　it　from　the　top　I　once　recognized　the　presence　of　a　woman

seated　on　one　of　the　lower　steps　with　her　back　presented　to　me；

her　body　half…bowed　and　her　head；　in　an　attitude　of　woe；　in　her　hands。

I　had　been　there　but　an　instant；　however；　when　she　vanished　without

looking　round　at　me。　　I　knew；　nonetheless；　exactly　what　dreadful　face

she　had　to　show；　and　I　wondered　whether；　if　instead　of　being　above　I　had

been　below；　I　should　have　had；　for　going　up；　the　same　nerve　I　had　lately

shown　Quint。　　Well；　there　continued　to　be　plenty　of　chance　for　nerve。

On　the　eleventh　night　after　my　latest　encounter　with　that　gentleman

they　were　all　numbered　nowI　had　an　alarm　that　perilously　skirted　it

and　that　indeed；　from　the　particular　quality　of　its　unexpectedness；

proved　quite　my　sharpest　shock。　　It　was　precisely　the　first　night　during

this　series　that；　weary　with　watching；　I　had　felt　that　I　might　again

without　laxity　lay　myself　down　at　my　old　hour。　　I　slept　immediately　and；

as　I　afterward　knew；　till　about　one　o'clock；　but　when　I　woke　it　was

to　sit　straight　up；　as　completely　roused　as　if　a　hand　had　shook　me。

I　had　left　a　light　burning；　but　it　was　now　out；　and　I　felt　an　instant

certainty　that　Flora　had　extinguished　it。　　This　brought　me　to　my　feet

and　straight；　in　the　darkness；　to　her　bed；　which　I　found　she　had　left。

A　glance　at　the　window　enlightened　me　further；　and　the　striking　of　a　match

completed　the　picture。



The　child　had　again　got　upthis　time　blowing　out　the　taper；　and　had　again；

for　some　purpose　of　observation　or　response；　squeezed　in　behind

the　blind　and　was　peering　out　into　the　night。　　That　she　now　saw

as　she　had　not；　I　had　satisfied　myself；　the　previous　timewas　proved

to　me　by　the　fact　that　she　was　disturbed　neither　by　my　reillumination

nor　by　the　haste　I　made　to　get　into　slippers　and　into　a　wrap。

Hidden；　protected；　absorbed；　she　evidently　rested　on　the　sill

the　casement　opened　forwardand　gave　herself　up。　　There　was　a　great

still　moon　to　help　her；　and　this　fact　had　counted　in　my　quick　decision。

She　was　face　to　face　with　the　apparition　we　had　met　at　the　lake；

and　could　now　communicate　with　it　as　she　had　not　then　been　able　to　do。

What　I；　on　my　side；　had　to　care　for　was；　without　disturbing　her；

to　reach；　from　the　corridor；　some　ot