had held high and full to the brim that now； even before speaking；
I felt overflow in a deluge。 〃I'll tell you if you'll tell ME〃
I heard myself say； then heard the tremor in which it broke。
〃Well； what？〃
Mrs。 Grose's suspense blazed at me； but it was too late now；
and I brought the thing out handsomely。 〃Where； my pet；
is Miss Jessel？〃
XX
Just as in the churchyard with Miles； the whole thing was upon us。
Much as I had made of the fact that this name had never once；
between us； been sounded； the quick； smitten glare with
which the child's face now received it fairly likened
my breach of the silence to the smash of a pane of glass。
It added to the interposing cry； as if to stay the blow；
that Mrs。 Grose； at the same instant； uttered over my violence
the shriek of a creature scared； or rather wounded； which； in turn；
within a few seconds； was completed by a gasp of my own。
I seized my colleague's arm。 〃She's there； she's there！〃
Miss Jessel stood before us on the opposite bank exactly as she
had stood the other time； and I remember； strangely； as the
first feeling now produced in me； my thrill of joy at having
brought on a proof。 She was there； and I was justified；
she was there； and I was neither cruel nor mad。
She was there for poor scared Mrs。 Grose； but she was there
most for Flora； and no moment of my monstrous time was perhaps
so extraordinary as that in which I consciously threw out to her
with the sense that； pale and ravenous demon as she was； she would
catch and understand itan inarticulate message of gratitude。
She rose erect on the spot my friend and I had lately quitted；
and there was not； in all the long reach of her desire；
an inch of her evil that fell short。 This first vividness
of vision and emotion were things of a few seconds；
during which Mrs。 Grose's dazed blink across to where I pointed
struck me as a sovereign sign that she too at last saw；
just as it carried my own eyes precipitately to the child。
The revelation then of the manner in which Flora was affected
startled me； in truth； far more than it would have done to find
her also merely agitated； for direct dismay was of course not
what I had expected。 Prepared and on her guard as our pursuit
had actually made her； she would repress every betrayal；
and I was therefore shaken； on the spot； by my first
glimpse of the particular one for which I had not allowed。
To see her； without a convulsion of her small pink face； not even
feign to glance in the direction of the prodigy I announced；
but only； instead of that； turn at ME an expression of hard；
still gravity； an expression absolutely new and unprecedented
and that appeared to read and accuse and judge me
this was a stroke that somehow converted the little girl
herself into the very presence that could make me quail。
I quailed even though my certitude that she thoroughly saw
was never greater than at that instant； and in the immediate
need to defend myself I called it passionately to witness。
〃She's there； you little unhappy thingthere； there； THERE；
and you see her as well as you see me！〃 I had said shortly
before to Mrs。 Grose that she was not at these times a child；
but an old； old woman； and that description of her could not
have been more strikingly confirmed than in the way in which；
for all answer to this； she simply showed me； without a concession；
an admission； of her eyes； a countenance of deeper and deeper；
of indeed suddenly quite fixed； reprobation。 I was by this time
if I can put the whole thing at all togethermore appalled
at what I may properly call her manner than at anything else；
though it was simultaneously with this that I became aware
of having Mrs。 Grose also； and very formidably； to reckon with。
My elder companion； the next moment； at any rate； blotted out
everything but her own flushed face and her loud； shocked protest；
a burst of high disapproval。 〃What a dreadful turn；
to be sure； miss！ Where on earth do you see anything？〃
I could only grasp her more quickly yet； for even while she
spoke the hideous plain presence stood undimmed and undaunted。
It had already lasted a minute； and it lasted while I continued；
seizing my colleague； quite thrusting her at it and presenting her to it；
to insist with my pointing hand。 〃You don't see her exactly as WE see？
you mean to say you don't nowNOW？ She's as big as a blazing fire！
Only look； dearest woman； LOOK！〃 She looked； even as I did；
and gave me； with her deep groan of negation； repulsion； compassion
the mixture with her pity of her relief at her exemptiona sense；
touching to me even then； that she would have backed me up if she could。
I might well have needed that； for with this hard blow of the proof that
her eyes were hopelessly sealed I felt my own situation horribly crumble；
I feltI sawmy livid predecessor press； from her position； on my defeat；
and I was conscious； more than all； of what I should have from this
instant to deal with in the astounding little attitude of Flora。
Into this attitude Mrs。 Grose immediately and violently entered；
breaking； even while there pierced through my sense of ruin a prodigious
private triumph； into breathless reassurance。
〃She isn't there； little lady； and nobody's thereand you never see nothing；
my sweet！ How can poor Miss Jesselwhen poor Miss Jessel's dead and buried？
WE know； don't we； love？and she appealed； blundering in； to the child。
〃It's all a mere mistake and a worry and a jokeand we'll go home as fast
as we can！〃
Our companion； on this； had responded with a strange；
quick primness of propriety； and they were again； with Mrs。 Grose
on her feet； united； as it were； in pained opposition to me。
Flora continued to fix me with her small mask of reprobation；
and even at that minute I prayed God to forgive me for seeming
to see that； as she stood there holding tight to our friend's dress；
her incomparable childish beauty had suddenly failed；
had quite vanished。 I've said it alreadyshe was literally；
she was hideously； hard； she had turned common and almost ugly。
〃I don't know what you mean。 I see nobody。 I see nothing。
I never HAVE。 I think you're cruel。 I don't like you！〃
Then； after this deliverance； which might have been that of a
vulgarly pert little girl in the street； she hugged Mrs。 Grose
more closely and buried in her skirts the dreadful little face。
In this position she produced an almost furious wail。
〃Take me away； take me awayoh； take me away from HER！〃
〃From ME？〃 I panted。
〃From youfrom you！〃 she cried。
Even Mrs。 Grose looked across at me dismayed； while I had
nothing to do but communicate again with the figure that；
on the opposite bank； without a movement； as rigidly still
as if catching； beyond the interval； our voices； was as vividly
there for my disaster as it was not there for my service。
The wretched child had spoken exactly as if she had got from
some outside source each of her stabbing little words； and I
could therefore； in the full despair of all I had to accept；
but sadly shake my head at her。 〃If I had ever doubted；
all my doubt would at present have gone。 I've been living with
the miserable truth； and now it has only too much closed round me。
Of course I've lost you： I've interfered； and you've seen
under HER dictation〃with which I faced； over the pool again；
our infernal witness〃the easy and perfect way to meet it。
I've done my best； but I've lost you。 Goodbye。〃 For Mrs。 Grose
I had an imperative； an almost frantic 〃Go； go！〃 before which；
in infinite distress； but mutely possessed of the little girl
and clearly convinced； in spite of her blindness； that something
awful had occurred and some collapse engulfed us； she retreated；
by the way we had come； as fast as she could move。
Of what first happened when I was left alone I had no subsequent memory。
I only knew that at the end of； I suppose； a quarter of an hour；
an odorous dampness and roughness； chilling and piercing
my trouble； had made me understand that I must have thrown myself；
on my face； on the ground and given way to a wildness of grief。
I must have lain there long and cried and sobbed； for when I raised
my head the day was almost done。 I got up and looked a moment；
through the twilight； at the gray pool and its blank； haunted edge；
and then I took； back to the house； my dreary and difficult course。
When I reached the gate in the fence the boat； to my surprise； was gone；
so that I had a fresh reflection to make on Flora's extraordinary
command of the situation。 She passed that night； by the most tacit；
and I should add； were not the word so grotesque a false note；
the happiest of arrangements； with Mrs。 Grose。 I saw neither of them
on my return； but； on the other hand； as by an ambiguous compensation；
I saw a great deal of Miles。 I sawI can use no other phrase
so much of him that it was