friends than citizens； more friends to one another than either enemies or
friends to their country； or than friends to ambition and innovation；
having absolutely given up themselves to one another； either held
absolutely the reins of the other's inclination； and suppose all this
guided by virtue； and all this by the conduct of reason； which also
without these it had not been possible to do； Blosius' answer was such as
it ought to be。 If any of their actions flew out of the handle； they
were neither （according to my measure of friendship） friends to one
another； nor to themselves。 As to the rest； this answer carries no worse
sound； than mine would do to one that should ask me： 〃If your will should
command you to kill your daughter； would you do it？〃 and that I should
make answer； that I would； for this expresses no consent to such an act；
forasmuch as I do not in the least suspect my own will； and as little
that of such a friend。 'Tis not in the power of all the eloquence in the
world； to dispossess me of the certainty I have of the intentions and
resolutions of my friend； nay； no one action of his； what face soever it
might bear； could be presented to me； of which I could not presently；
and at first sight； find out the moving cause。 Our souls had drawn so
unanimously together； they had considered each other with so ardent an
affection； and with the like affection laid open the very bottom of our
hearts to one another's view； that I not only knew his as well as my own；
but should certainly in any concern of mine have trusted my interest much
more willingly with him； than with myself。
Let no one； therefore； rank other common friendships with such a one as
this。 I have had as much experience of these as another； and of the most
perfect of their kind： but I do not advise that any should confound the
rules of the one and the other； for they would find themselves much
deceived。 In those other ordinary friendships； you are to walk with
bridle in your hand； with prudence and circumspection； for in them the
knot is not so sure that a man may not half suspect it will slip。 〃Love
him；〃 said Chilo；＇Aulus Gellius； i。 3。＇ 〃so as if you were one day to
hate him； and hate him so as you were one day to love him。〃 This
precept； though abominable in the sovereign and perfect friendship I
speak of； is nevertheless very sound as to the practice of the ordinary
and customary ones； and to which the saying that Aristotle had so
frequent in his mouth； 〃O my friends； there is no friend；〃 may very fitly
be applied。 In this noble commerce； good offices； presents； and
benefits； by which other friendships are supported and maintained； do not
deserve so much as to be mentioned； and the reason is the concurrence of
our wills； for； as the kindness I have for myself receives no increase；
for anything I relieve myself withal in time of need （whatever the Stoics
say）； and as I do not find myself obliged to myself for any service I do
myself： so the union of such friends； being truly perfect； deprives them
of all idea of such duties； and makes them loathe and banish from their
conversation these words of division and distinction； benefits；
obligation； acknowledgment； entreaty； thanks； and the like。 All things；
wills； thoughts； opinions； goods； wives； children； honours； and lives；
being in effect common betwixt them； and that absolute concurrence of
affections being no other than one soul in two bodies （according to that
very proper definition of Aristotle）； they can neither lend nor give
anything to one another。 This is the reason why the lawgivers； to honour
marriage with some resemblance of this divine alliance； interdict all
gifts betwixt man and wife； inferring by that； that all should belong to
each of them； and that they have nothing to divide or to give to each
other。
If； in the friendship of which I speak； one could give to the other； the
receiver of the benefit would be the man that obliged his friend； for
each of them contending and above all things studying how to be useful to
the other； he that administers the occasion is the liberal man； in giving
his friend the satisfaction of doing that towards him which above all
things he most desires。 When the philosopher Diogenes wanted money； he
used to say； that he redemanded it of his friends； not that he demanded
it。 And to let you see the practical working of this； I will here
produce an ancient and singular example。 Eudamidas； a Corinthian； had
two friends； Charixenus a Sicyonian and Areteus a Corinthian； this man
coming to die； being poor； and his two friends rich； he made his will
after this manner。 〃I bequeath to Areteus the maintenance of my mother；
to support and provide for her in her old age； and to Charixenus I
bequeath the care of marrying my daughter； and to give her as good a
portion as he is able； and in case one of these chance to die； I hereby
substitute the survivor in his place。〃 They who first saw this will made
themselves very merry at the contents： but the legatees； being made
acquainted with it； accepted it with very great content； and one of them；
Charixenus； dying within five days after； and by that means the charge of
both duties devolving solely on him； Areteus nurtured the old woman with
very great care and tenderness； and of five talents he had in estate； he
gave two and a half in marriage with an only daughter he had of his own；
and two and a half in marriage with the daughter of Eudamidas； and on one
and the same day solemnised both their nuptials。
This example is very full； if one thing were not to be objected； namely
the multitude of friends for the perfect friendship I speak of is
indivisible； each one gives himself so entirely to his friend； that he
has nothing left to distribute to others： on the contrary； is sorry that
he is not double； treble； or quadruple； and that he has not many souls
and many wills； to confer them all upon this one object。 Common
friendships will admit of division； one may love the beauty of this
person； the good…humour of that； the liberality of a third； the paternal
affection of a fourth； the fraternal love of a fifth； and so of the rest：
but this friendship that possesses the whole soul； and there rules and
sways with an absolute sovereignty； cannot possibly admit of a rival。
If two at the same time should call to you for succour； to which of them
would you run？ Should they require of you contrary offices； how could
you serve them both？ Should one commit a thing to your silence that it
were of importance to the other to know； how would you disengage
yourself？ A unique and particular friendship dissolves all other
obligations whatsoever： the secret I have sworn not to reveal to any
other； I may without perjury communicate to him who is not another； but
myself。 'Tis miracle enough certainly； for a man to double himself； and
those that talk of tripling； talk they know not of what。 Nothing is
extreme； that has its like； and he who shall suppose； that of two； I love
one as much as the other； that they mutually love one another too； and
love me as much as I love them； multiplies into a confraternity the most
single of units； and whereof； moreover； one alone is the hardest thing in
the world to find。 The rest of this story suits very well with what I
was saying； for Eudamidas； as a bounty and favour； bequeaths to his
friends a legacy of employing themselves in his necessity； he leaves them
heirs to this liberality of his； which consists in giving them the
opportunity of conferring a benefit upon him； and doubtless； the force of
friendship is more eminently apparent in this act of his； than in that of
Areteus。 In short； these are effects not to be imagined nor comprehended
by such as have not experience of them； and which make me infinitely
honour and admire the answer of that young soldier to Cyrus； by whom
being asked how much he would take for a horse； with which he had won the
prize of a race； and whether he would exchange him for a kingdom？
〃No； truly； sir；〃 said he； 〃but I would give him with all my heart； to
get thereby a true friend； could I find out any man worthy of that
alliance。〃 ＇Xenophon； Cyropadia； viii。 3。＇ He did not say ill in
saying； 〃could I find〃： for though one may almost everywhere meet with
men sufficiently qualified for a superficial acquaintance； yet in this；
where a man is to deal from the very bottom of his heart； without any
manner of reservation； it will be requisite that all the wards and
springs be truly wrought and perfectly sure。
In confederations that hold but by one end； we are only to provide
against the imperfections that particularly concern that end。 It can be
of no importance to me of what religion my physician or my lawyer is；
this consideration has nothing in common with the offices of friendship
which they owe me； and I am of the same indifference in the domestic
acquaintance my servants must necessarily contract with me。 I never
inquire； when I am to take a footman； if he be chaste； but if he be
diligent； and am not solicitous if my muleteer be given to gaming； as if
he be strong and able； or if my cook be a swearer； if he be a good cook。
I do not take upon me