'Well 'The〃； we're sure as makes no odds glad to see you here。 And what would you like to answer questions on？' Several of the Lamarettes had； to Dan's annoyance； detached themselves from the throng and were now fawning about the young man with the killer sideburns。 Straight for the chop this boy； thought Dan。 'e on now girls；' he crooned； 'give the boy space to breathe。'
'Ooooh and aaaah；' went the Lamarettes。
'Kindly desist！' Knowing which sides of their bread had yak butter uppermost the wayward nubiles grudgingly withdrew。 Pouting for the greater part。 'On with the show；' cried Dalai Dan。
'Where's my geetar？' asked Elvis Presley。
'I'll get it； chief；' said a small green voice。
'Not quite tuning into you there； boy。 What would you like to answer questions on tonight？'
'Questions？ I just did 〃Love Me Tender〃 on Ed Sullivan。 If there's gonna be questions I gotta square it with Colonel Tom。'
'This is Nemesis；' This boy isn't dealing from a full deck； thought Dan。 'Marion； can I have the questions？ Any questions？'
Marion's appearance on stage always drew standing ovations from the male members of the bunker…bound。 Which you may take as you will。 No woman could really look that good； but Marion did anyway。 Even a conservative description of her bodily charms would be gratuitous。 Elvis whistled。 'Baby；' he said。
'The questions； Marion； please。' Marion made free with the questions。
'The questions are on Rock and Roll；' she husked。 Elvis strummed a chord upon the guitar he was suddenly holding。 'Have I missed anything； chief？' the sprout asked。
Marion parted with the plastic questioncard and swayed precariously from the stage。 Elvis watched her go。
'OK； Mr King； the questions；'
'Uh； just one minute；' Elvis whispered something into his top pocket。
'Outrageous；' the sprout replied。 'But good for a laugh。 I'll give it my best shot；' Words and actions rolled into reverse。 Marion returned to the stage walking backwards in a fast action re…run。 She took back the question card。 Elvis took Marion in his arms and did young and healthy 'things to her。 Refastening his fly； at length； he said； 'On with the show； small buddy；'
Time rolled forward and Marion left the stage a second time。 Now in a state of disarray。 She was wearing a very large smile。
'Slight technical hitch；' Dan spluttered。 Something was going very wrong indeed。
The cavern was stone…tiled and ancient。 Unspeakable things oozed through gratings and dripped into a sea of blackness。 But all Rex could smell was violets； all he could see was the beautiful woman。 She was there in the middle of the foul lake。 Standing。 Her bare feet didn't touch the water。 'Who are you？' Rex asked。 'What are you？'
'I am Christeen； and now is my time。' Rex shook his head。 'I'm confused。 I don't understand。' 'You will； all in good time。 I have chosen you。 We are in the End Days； the final times。' 'I don't doubt that。'
'There are many pasts but only a single future。' 'Where am I？' Rex asked。 'On the edge of tomorrow。 Will you join me？' 'I surely will。' Rex Mundi walked upon the water。
'And that is the correct answer。' Dan grew slightly damp about the brow。 'Which leaves you with just one single question left。'
'No sweat；'
'But before I ask you this question； let's bring back Marion to tell us about tonight's Special Star Death。'
'Yeah； let's do。'
Lights flashed。 Applause cued。 Marion once more took to the stage。 A golden envelope in a gloved hand。 'Tonight's Star Death is a real killer；' she purred； opening said envelope and reading as one does from the card。 'It's a chance to be 。。。
'Brutally slain。'
Ooooooooh and aaaaaah。
'Ritually disembowelled。'
Aaaaaaaah and ooooooh。
'And literally torn to pieces in a frenzy of sexually crazed bloodlust。'
'Well all right；' yelled Dan； 'and we want to see it。'
'Hey； fella。' Elvis flexed his manly shoulders and adjusted his guitar strap。 The magical guitar was worrying Dan no end。 'Hey fella； I don't think I get this。'
Dan winked at the viewing public。 'What don't you get； boy？'
'Well。 Now see here。 If I answer the question wrong then I get。。。' He drew his right forefinger across his throat。 Dan nodded enthusiastically。
'And if I get the question right； I still get。。。'
Dan's head bounced up and down。 That's the way we play the game。'
'Ah。 No sweat then。 Just didn't want to look a jerk in front of my public。'
'No problem。 Now just stand on the spot there。 We want all the viewers to see you。' Elvis stood on the spot。
'OK。 Right on。 The question。' Dan waggled his finger at the mythical studio audience。 'And no helping out there。' The crowd synthesiser roared with laughter。 'Can you plete the following？ Well since my baby left me。。。 I've found a new place to dwell。。。 it's。。。' Dan's words trailed off。 Holophonic images swam in his brain。 Black vinyl in a protectrite shell。 Worlds colliding。 Time collapsing at the edges。
'It's down at the end of lonely street at Heartbreak Hotel；' sang Elvis Presley。 Dan backed away from him。 The aura surrounding the singing man was unreadable； unbearable。 But the voice。。。 the voice。
'SUN；' mouthed the Dalai Lama。 'You are SUN。'
Elvis was alone in the spotlight。 The bunker…bound looked on in awe。 Something was occurring。 Certain board members； domiciled upon a distant planet swapped incredulous expressions。 'That's what's…his…name；' gasped Gryphus Garstang。 'You know。。。'
'Paisley；' said Lavinius Wisten。 'Ian Paisley。 How in the nose of God did he get there？'
14
。。。 and the God says to me； it's a restructuring job。 We're putting the world to rights and that can't be wrong； can it？ No； says I。 The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away； says he。 Too true； says I。 We had a deal of property by then and were extending into the entertainment industry。 All legit； I might add。 Or looked to be。 The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away。 I remember that。 Because it seemed like a lot of people were being taken away。 People who got awkward or too nosy or whatever。 I never saw where they went but went they did。 He was restructuring and I was living high off the hog。 Praise the Lord； says I。
The Suburban Book of the Dead
Is this the real life or is this just Battersea？ Freddie Mercury
'Fergus； I would like your opinion on this。'
Fergus Shaman's eyes flickered towards Garstang； then back to the screen。 'Well； he's singing； isn't he？'
Gryphus Garstang leant back in Mungo Madoc's chair。
He was smoking one of the lime…green cheroots from Mungo's private stock。 'Why am I getting this strange kind of deja vu？' he asked。
Fergus shrugged nervously。 'I really couldn't say。 The continuation of the genetic code throughout succeeding generations argues for the existence of ancestral memory。 Your grandfather possibly。。。'
'If that is the case then I must be one of Garstang's distant cousins；' Diogenes chimed in； 'which I'm not。'
'You never can tell。' Fergus tried hard to sound convincing。
'Presley。' Cried Wisten。 'Elvis Aron Presley； born January the eighth； 1935。 Joined the US Army twenty…fourth of March； 1958。'
Garstang sprang to his feet and pawed at the inter。 'Get me Jason Morgawr；' he demanded。
Morgawr's handsome face appeared a moment later upon the deskset。 'You rang？'
'Do you have access to the exact date on which the virus was inserted？'
'Twenty…third March； 1958；' Jason rattled it out。 'Ingrained into all our memories； I would have thought。'
'Quite so。' Garstang blanked Jason's face from the screen。
'A curious coincidence；' Fergus suggested。
'What's that？' Lavinius Wisten pointed to the enlarged image of Presley。
'What's what？' Gryphus followed the pointing finger。
'Up there； sticking out of his breast pocket。 It looks almost like a。。。'
'Sprout；' said Gryphus Garstang。 'It looks like a sprout。 Fergus； where do you think you're going？'
'I'm going to be sick；' Fergus replied。
Elvis bowed towards his viewing millions。 'I wouldn't wait around for an encore；' the sprout advised。 'I think we had best be away。'
The security men burst into the studio。 All stun suits； mirrored visors and weighted truncheons。 They plunged from either side of the stage to meet head…on in an orgy of unrestrained violence。 But the punishment they meted out was only inflicted upon their fellows。 Of Elvis Presley and his little green buddy no trace whatever remained。 It all went down very big with the viewing public of at least two worlds。 Tune in next week； they most certainly would。
Dan crouched on his sofa。 The cocktail glass was never very far from his mouth。 Gloria paced the floor behind him。 Her thoughts were not music to the Dalai's inner ear。 'Stop pacing； damn you。 You're giving me a headache。 Look； look。' Dan re…ran the video yet again。 'There； see it？ He just vanishes。 Gone。 Here； see it again；'
'I have seen it。 Seen it till my eyes crossed。 You have really fouled up this time。'
'Me？ How was I to know？'
'I thought you knew everything。'
'Well I do。 Almost。'
'You kill my brother and you let this clown make a fool out of you on your own show。 I'll bet Pope Joan is s