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Worldly¡¡Ways¡¡and¡¡Byways


by¡¡Eliot¡¡Gregory






A¡¡Table¡¡of¡¡Contents



To¡¡the¡¡READER



1¡£¡¡¡¡Charm

2¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡Moth¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Star

3¡£¡¡¡¡Contrasted¡¡Travelling

4¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡Outer¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Inner¡¡Woman

5¡£¡¡¡¡On¡¡Some¡¡Gilded¡¡Misalliances

6¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡Complacency¡¡of¡¡Mediocrity

7¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡Discontent¡¡of¡¡Talent

8¡£¡¡¡¡Slouch

9¡£¡¡¡¡Social¡¡Suggestion

10¡£¡¡Bohemia

11¡£¡¡Social¡¡Exiles

12¡£¡¡¡¨Seven¡¡Ages¡¨¡¡of¡¡Furniture

13¡£¡¡Our¡¡Elite¡¡and¡¡Public¡¡Life

14¡£¡¡The¡¡Small¡¡Summer¡¡Hotel

15¡£¡¡A¡¡False¡¡Start

16¡£¡¡A¡¡Holy¡¡Land

17¡£¡¡Royalty¡¡at¡¡Play

18¡£¡¡A¡¡Rock¡¡Ahead

19¡£¡¡The¡¡Grand¡¡Prix

20¡£¡¡¡¨The¡¡Treadmill¡¨

21¡£¡¡¡¨Like¡¡Master¡¡Like¡¡Man¡¨

22¡£¡¡An¡¡English¡¡Invasion¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Riviera

23¡£¡¡A¡¡Common¡¡Weakness

24¡£¡¡Changing¡¡Paris

25¡£¡¡Contentment

26¡£¡¡The¡¡Climber

27¡£¡¡The¡¡Last¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Dandies

28¡£¡¡A¡¡Nation¡¡on¡¡the¡¡Wing

29¡£¡¡Husks

30¡£¡¡The¡¡Faubourg¡¡St¡£¡¡Germain

31¡£¡¡Men's¡¡Manners

32¡£¡¡An¡¡Ideal¡¡Hostess

33¡£¡¡The¡¡Introducer

34¡£¡¡A¡¡Question¡¡and¡¡an¡¡Answer

35¡£¡¡Living¡¡on¡¡Your¡¡Friends

36¡£¡¡American¡¡Society¡¡in¡¡Italy

37¡£¡¡The¡¡Newport¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Past

38¡£¡¡A¡¡Conquest¡¡of¡¡Europe

39¡£¡¡A¡¡Race¡¡of¡¡Slaves

40¡£¡¡Introspection









To¡¡the¡¡Reader





THERE¡¡existed¡¡formerly£»¡¡in¡¡diplomatic¡¡circles£»¡¡a¡¡curious¡¡custom£»¡¡

since¡¡fallen¡¡into¡¡disuse£»¡¡entitled¡¡the¡¡Pele¡¡Mele£»¡¡contrived¡¡

doubtless¡¡by¡¡some¡¡distracted¡¡Master¡¡of¡¡Ceremonies¡¡to¡¡quell¡¡the¡¡

endless¡¡jealousies¡¡and¡¡quarrels¡¡for¡¡precedence¡¡between¡¡courtiers¡¡

and¡¡diplomatists¡¡of¡¡contending¡¡pretensions¡£¡¡¡¡Under¡¡this¡¡rule¡¡no¡¡

rank¡¡was¡¡recognized£»¡¡each¡¡person¡¡being¡¡allowed¡¡at¡¡banquet£»¡¡fete£»¡¡or¡¡

other¡¡public¡¡ceremony¡¡only¡¡such¡¡place¡¡as¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡ingenious¡¡or¡¡

fortunate¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡obtain¡£



Any¡¡one¡¡wishing¡¡to¡¡form¡¡an¡¡idea¡¡of¡¡the¡¡confusion¡¡that¡¡ensued£»¡¡of¡¡

the¡¡intrigues¡¡and¡¡expedients¡¡resorted¡¡to£»¡¡not¡¡only¡¡in¡¡procuring¡¡

prominent¡¡places£»¡¡but¡¡also¡¡in¡¡ensuring¡¡the¡¡integrity¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Pele¡¡

Mele£»¡¡should¡¡glance¡¡over¡¡the¡¡amusing¡¡memoirs¡¡of¡¡M¡£¡¡de¡¡Segur¡£



The¡¡aspiring¡¡nobles¡¡and¡¡ambassadors£»¡¡harassed¡¡by¡¡this¡¡constant¡¡

preoccupation£»¡¡had¡¡little¡¡time¡¡or¡¡inclination¡¡left¡¡for¡¡any¡¡serious¡¡

pursuit£»¡¡since£»¡¡to¡¡take¡¡a¡¡moment's¡¡repose¡¡or¡¡an¡¡hour's¡¡breathing¡¡

space¡¡was¡¡to¡¡risk¡¡falling¡¡behind¡¡in¡¡the¡¡endless¡¡and¡¡aimless¡¡race¡£¡¡¡¡

Strange¡¡as¡¡it¡¡may¡¡appear£»¡¡the¡¡knowledge¡¡that¡¡they¡¡owed¡¡place¡¡and¡¡

preferment¡¡more¡¡to¡¡chance¡¡or¡¡intrigue¡¡than¡¡to¡¡any¡¡personal¡¡merit¡¡or¡¡

inherited¡¡right£»¡¡instead¡¡of¡¡lessening¡¡the¡¡value¡¡of¡¡the¡¡prizes¡¡for¡¡

which¡¡all¡¡were¡¡striving£»¡¡seemed¡¡only¡¡to¡¡enhance¡¡them¡¡in¡¡the¡¡eyes¡¡of¡¡

the¡¡competitors¡£



Success¡¡was¡¡the¡¡unique¡¡standard¡¡by¡¡which¡¡they¡¡gauged¡¡their¡¡fellows¡£¡¡¡¡

Those¡¡who¡¡succeeded¡¡revelled¡¡in¡¡the¡¡adulation¡¡of¡¡their¡¡friends£»¡¡but¡¡

when¡¡any¡¡one¡¡failed£»¡¡the¡¡fickle¡¡crowd¡¡passed¡¡him¡¡by¡¡to¡¡bow¡¡at¡¡more¡¡

fortunate¡¡feet¡£



No¡¡better¡¡picture¡¡could¡¡be¡¡found¡¡of¡¡the¡¡¡¨world¡¨¡¡of¡¡to¡­day£»¡¡a¡¡

perpetual¡¡Pele¡¡Mele£»¡¡where¡¡such¡¡advantages¡¡only¡¡are¡¡conceded¡¡as¡¡we¡¡

have¡¡been¡¡sufficiently¡¡enterprising¡¡to¡¡obtain£»¡¡and¡¡are¡¡strong¡¡or¡¡

clever¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡keep¡¡¡­¡¡a¡¡constant¡¡competition£»¡¡a¡¡daily¡¡

steeplechase£»¡¡favorable¡¡to¡¡daring¡¡spirits¡¡and¡¡personal¡¡initiative¡¡

but¡¡with¡¡the¡¡defect¡¡of¡¡keeping¡¡frail¡¡humanity¡¡ever¡¡on¡¡the¡¡qui¡¡vive¡£



Philosophers¡¡tell¡¡us£»¡¡that¡¡we¡¡should¡¡seek¡¡happiness¡¡only¡¡in¡¡the¡¡

calm¡¡of¡¡our¡¡own¡¡minds£»¡¡not¡¡allowing¡¡external¡¡conditions¡¡or¡¡the¡¡

opinions¡¡of¡¡others¡¡to¡¡influence¡¡our¡¡ways¡£¡¡¡¡This¡¡lofty¡¡detachment¡¡

from¡¡environment¡¡is¡¡achieved¡¡by¡¡very¡¡few¡£¡¡¡¡Indeed£»¡¡the¡¡philosophers¡¡

themselves¡¡£¨who¡¡may¡¡be¡¡said¡¡to¡¡have¡¡invented¡¡the¡¡art¡¡of¡¡¡¨posing¡¨£©¡¡

were¡¡generally¡¡as¡¡vain¡¡as¡¡peacocks£»¡¡profoundly¡¡pre¡­occupied¡¡with¡¡

the¡¡verdict¡¡of¡¡their¡¡contemporaries¡¡and¡¡their¡¡position¡¡as¡¡regards¡¡

posterity¡£



Man¡¡is¡¡born¡¡gregarious¡¡and¡¡remains¡¡all¡¡his¡¡life¡¡a¡¡herding¡¡animal¡£¡¡¡¡

As¡¡one¡¡keen¡¡observer¡¡has¡¡written£»¡¡¡¨So¡¡great¡¡is¡¡man's¡¡horror¡¡of¡¡

being¡¡alone¡¡that¡¡he¡¡will¡¡seek¡¡the¡¡society¡¡of¡¡those¡¡he¡¡neither¡¡likes¡¡

nor¡¡respects¡¡sooner¡¡than¡¡be¡¡left¡¡to¡¡his¡¡own¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡The¡¡laws¡¡and¡¡

conventions¡¡that¡¡govern¡¡men's¡¡intercourse¡¡have£»¡¡therefore£»¡¡formed¡¡a¡¡

tempting¡¡subject¡¡for¡¡the¡¡writers¡¡of¡¡all¡¡ages¡£¡¡¡¡Some¡¡have¡¡labored¡¡

hoping¡¡to¡¡reform¡¡their¡¡generation£»¡¡others¡¡have¡¡written¡¡to¡¡offer¡¡

solutions¡¡for¡¡life's¡¡many¡¡problems¡£



Beaumarchais£»¡¡whose¡¡penetrating¡¡wit¡¡left¡¡few¡¡subjects¡¡untouched£»¡¡

makes¡¡his¡¡Figaro¡¡put¡¡the¡¡subject¡¡aside¡¡with¡¡¡¨Je¡¡me¡¡presse¡¡de¡¡rire¡¡

de¡¡tout£»¡¡de¡¡peur¡¡d'etre¡¡oblige¡¡d'en¡¡pleurer¡£¡¨



The¡¡author¡¡of¡¡this¡¡little¡¡volume¡¡pretends¡¡to¡¡settle¡¡no¡¡disputes£»¡¡

aims¡¡at¡¡inaugurating¡¡no¡¡reforms¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡has¡¡lightly¡¡touched¡¡on¡¡passing¡¡

topics¡¡and¡¡jotted¡¡down£»¡¡¡¨to¡¡point¡¡a¡¡moral¡¡or¡¡adorn¡¡a¡¡tale£»¡¨¡¡some¡¡of¡¡

the¡¡more¡¡obvious¡¡foibles¡¡and¡¡inconsistencies¡¡of¡¡our¡¡American¡¡ways¡£¡¡¡¡

If¡¡a¡¡stray¡¡bit¡¡of¡¡philosophy¡¡has¡¡here¡¡and¡¡there¡¡slipped¡¡in¡¡between¡¡

the¡¡lines£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡mostly¡¡of¡¡the¡¡laughing¡¡¡¨school£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡used¡¡more¡¡in¡¡

banter¡¡than¡¡in¡¡blame¡£



This¡¡much¡¡abused¡¡¡¨world¡¨¡¡is¡¡a¡¡fairly¡¡agreeable¡¡place¡¡if¡¡you¡¡do¡¡not¡¡

take¡¡it¡¡seriously¡£¡¡¡¡Meet¡¡it¡¡with¡¡a¡¡friendly¡¡face¡¡and¡¡it¡¡will¡¡smile¡¡

gayly¡¡back¡¡at¡¡you£»¡¡but¡¡do¡¡not¡¡ask¡¡of¡¡it¡¡what¡¡it¡¡cannot¡¡give£»¡¡or¡¡

attribute¡¡to¡¡its¡¡verdicts¡¡more¡¡importance¡¡than¡¡they¡¡deserve¡£



ELIOT¡¡GREGORY



Newport£»¡¡November¡¡first£»¡¡1897









CHAPTER¡¡1¡¡¡­¡¡Charm





WOMEN¡¡endowed¡¡by¡¡nature¡¡with¡¡the¡¡indescribable¡¡quality¡¡we¡¡call¡¡

¡¨charm¡¨¡¡£¨for¡¡want¡¡of¡¡a¡¡better¡¡word£©£»¡¡are¡¡the¡¡supreme¡¡development¡¡of¡¡

a¡¡perfected¡¡race£»¡¡the¡¡last¡¡word£»¡¡as¡¡it¡¡were£»¡¡of¡¡civilization£»¡¡the¡¡

flower¡¡of¡¡their¡¡kind£»¡¡crowning¡¡centuries¡¡of¡¡growing¡¡refinement¡¡and¡¡

cultivation¡£¡¡¡¡Other¡¡women¡¡may¡¡unite¡¡a¡¡thousand¡¡brilliant¡¡qualities£»¡¡

and¡¡attractive¡¡attributes£»¡¡may¡¡be¡¡beautiful¡¡as¡¡Astarte¡¡or¡¡witty¡¡as¡¡

Madame¡¡de¡¡Montespan£»¡¡those¡¡endowed¡¡with¡¡the¡¡power¡¡of¡¡charm£»¡¡have¡¡in¡¡

all¡¡ages¡¡and¡¡under¡¡every¡¡sky£»¡¡held¡¡undisputed¡¡rule¡¡over¡¡the¡¡hearts¡¡

of¡¡their¡¡generation¡£



When¡¡we¡¡look¡¡at¡¡the¡¡portraits¡¡of¡¡the¡¡enchantresses¡¡whom¡¡history¡¡

tells¡¡us¡¡have¡¡ruled¡¡the¡¡world¡¡by¡¡their¡¡charm£»¡¡and¡¡swayed¡¡the¡¡

destinies¡¡of¡¡empires¡¡at¡¡their¡¡fancy£»¡¡we¡¡are¡¡astonished¡¡to¡¡find¡¡that¡¡

they¡¡have¡¡rarely¡¡been¡¡beautiful¡£¡¡¡¡From¡¡Cleopatra¡¡or¡¡Mary¡¡of¡¡

Scotland¡¡down¡¡to¡¡Lola¡¡Montez£»¡¡the¡¡tell¡­tale¡¡coin¡¡or¡¡canvas¡¡reveals¡¡

the¡¡same¡¡marvellous¡¡fact¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡wonder¡¡how¡¡these¡¡women¡¡attained¡¡such¡¡

influence¡¡over¡¡the¡¡men¡¡of¡¡their¡¡day£»¡¡their¡¡husbands¡¡or¡¡lovers¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡

would¡¡do¡¡better¡¡to¡¡look¡¡around¡¡us£»¡¡or¡¡inward£»¡¡and¡¡observe¡¡what¡¡is¡¡

passing¡¡in¡¡our¡¡own¡¡hearts¡£



Pause£»¡¡reader¡¡mine£»¡¡a¡¡moment¡¡and¡¡reflect¡£¡¡¡¡Who¡¡has¡¡held¡¡the¡¡first¡¡

place¡¡in¡¡your¡¡thoughts£»¡¡filled¡¡your¡¡soul£»¡¡and¡¡influenced¡¡your¡¡life£¿¡¡¡¡

Was¡¡she¡¡the¡¡most¡¡beautiful¡¡of¡¡your¡¡acquaintances£»¡¡the¡¡radiant¡¡

vision¡¡that¡¡dazzled¡¡your¡¡boyish¡¡eyes£¿¡¡¡¡Has¡¡she¡¡not¡¡rather¡¡been¡¡some¡¡

gentle£»¡¡quiet¡¡woman¡¡whom¡¡you¡¡hardly¡¡noticed¡¡the¡¡first¡¡time¡¡your¡¡

paths¡¡crossed£»¡¡but¡¡who¡¡gradually¡¡grew¡¡to¡¡be¡¡a¡¡part¡¡of¡¡your¡¡life¡¡¡­¡¡

to¡¡whom¡¡you¡¡instinctively¡¡turned¡¡for¡¡consolation¡¡in¡¡moments¡¡of¡¡

discouragement£»¡¡for¡¡counsel¡¡in¡¡your¡¡difficulties£»¡¡and¡¡whose¡¡welcome¡¡

was¡¡the¡¡bright¡¡moment¡¡in¡¡your¡¡day£»¡¡looked¡¡forward¡¡to¡¡through¡¡long¡¡

hours¡¡of¡¡toil¡¡and¡¡worry£¿



In¡¡the¡¡hurly¡­burly¡¡of¡¡life¡¡we¡¡lose¡¡sight¡¡of¡¡so¡¡many¡¡things¡¡our¡¡

fathers¡¡and¡¡mothers¡¡clung¡¡to£»¡¡and¡¡have¡¡drifted¡¡so¡¡far¡¡away¡¡from¡¡

their¡¡gentle¡¡customs¡¡and¡¡simple£»¡¡home¡­loving¡¡habits£»¡¡that¡¡one¡¡

wonders¡¡what¡¡impression¡¡our¡¡society¡¡would¡¡make¡¡on¡¡a¡¡woman¡¡of¡¡a¡¡

century¡¡ago£»¡¡could¡¡she¡¡by¡¡some¡¡spell¡¡be¡¡dropped¡¡into¡¡the¡¡swing¡¡of¡¡

modern¡¡days¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡good¡¡soul¡¡would¡¡be¡¡apt¡¡to¡¡find¡¡it¡¡rather¡¡a¡¡far¡¡

cry¡¡from¡¡the¡¡quiet¡¡pleasures¡¡of¡¡her¡¡youth£»¡¡to¡¡¡¨a¡¡ladies'¡¡amateur¡¡

bicycle¡¡race¡¨¡¡that¡¡formed¡¡the¡¡attraction¡¡recently¡¡at¡¡a¡¡summer¡¡

resort¡£



That¡¡we¡¡should¡¡have¡¡come¡¡to¡¡think¡¡it¡¡natural¡¡and¡¡proper¡¡for¡¡a¡¡young¡¡

wife¡¡and¡¡mother¡¡to¡¡pass¡¡her¡¡mornings¡¡at¡¡golf£»¡¡lunching¡¡at¡¡the¡¡club¡­

house¡¡to¡¡¡¨save¡¡time£»¡¨¡¡returning¡¡home¡¡only¡¡for¡¡a¡¡hurried¡¡change¡¡of¡¡

toilet¡¡to¡¡start¡¡again¡¡on¡¡a¡¡bicycle¡¡or¡¡for¡¡a¡¡round¡¡of¡¡calls£»¡¡an¡¡

occupation¡¡that¡¡will¡¡leave¡¡her¡¡just¡¡the¡¡half¡­hour¡¡necessary¡¡to¡¡slip¡¡

into¡¡a¡¡dinner¡¡gown£»¡¡and¡¡then¡¡for¡¡her¡¡to¡¡pass¡¡the¡¡evening¡¡in¡¡dancing¡¡

or¡¡at¡¡the¡¡card¡­table£»¡¡shows£»¡¡when¡¡one¡¡takes¡¡the¡¡time¡¡to¡¡think¡¡of¡¡

it£»¡¡how¡¡unconsciously¡¡we¡¡have¡¡changed£»¡¡and¡¡£¨with¡¡all¡¡apologies¡¡to¡¡

the¡¡gay¡¡hostesses¡¡and¡¡graceful¡¡athletes¡¡of¡¡to¡­day£©¡¡not¡¡for¡¡the¡¡

better¡£



It¡¡is¡¡just¡¡in¡¡the¡¡subtle¡¡quality¡¡of¡¡charm¡¡that¡¡the¡¡women¡¡of¡¡the¡¡

last¡¡ten¡¡years¡¡have¡¡fallen¡¡away¡¡from¡¡their¡¡elder¡¡sisters¡£¡¡¡¡They¡¡

have¡¡been¡¡carried¡¡along¡¡by¡¡a¡¡love¡¡of¡¡sport£»¡¡and¡¡by¡¡the¡¡set¡¡of¡¡

fashion's¡¡tide£»¡¡not¡¡stopping¡¡to¡¡ask¡¡themselves¡¡whither¡¡they¡¡are¡¡

floating¡£¡¡¡¡They¡¡do¡¡not¡¡realize¡¡all¡¡the¡¡importance¡¡of¡¡their¡¡acts¡¡nor¡¡

the¡¡true¡¡meaning¡¡of¡¡their¡¡metamorphosis¡£



The¡¡dear¡¡creatures¡¡should¡¡be¡¡content£»¡¡for¡¡they¡¡have¡¡at¡¡last¡¡escaped¡¡

from¡¡the¡¡bondage¡¡of¡¡ages£»¡¡have¡¡broken¡¡their¡¡chains£»¡¡and¡¡vaulted¡¡

over¡¡their¡¡prison¡¡walls¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨Lords¡¡and¡¡masters¡¨¡¡have¡¡gradually¡¡become¡¡

very¡¡humble¡¡and¡¡obedient¡¡servants£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡¡¨love£»¡¡honour£»¡¡and¡¡obey¡¨¡¡

of¡¡the¡¡marriage¡¡service¡¡might¡¡now¡¡more¡¡logically¡¡be¡¡spoken¡¡by¡¡the¡¡

man£»¡¡on¡¡the¡¡lips¡¡of¡¡the¡¡women¡¡of¡¡to¡­day¡¡it¡¡is¡¡but¡¡a¡¡graceful¡¡¡¨FACON¡¡

DE¡¡PARLER£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡holds¡¡only¡¡those¡¡who¡¡choose¡¡to¡¡be¡¡bound¡£



It¡¡is¡¡not¡¡my¡¡intention¡¡to¡¡rail¡¡against¡¡the¡¡short¡­comings¡¡of¡¡the¡¡

day¡£¡¡¡¡That¡¡ungrateful¡¡task¡¡I¡¡leave¡¡to¡¡sterner¡¡moralists£»¡¡a
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