y can praise or censure without reference to the differences which exist between them。 In a literary body this can never be the case。 Literature is； and always must be； inseparably blended with politics and theology； it is the great engine which moves the feelings of a people on the most momentous questions。 It is； therefore； impossible that any society can be formed so impartial as to consider the literary character of an individual abstracted from the opinions which his writings inculcate。 It is not to be hoped； perhaps it is not to be wished； that the feelings of the man should be so completely forgotten in the duties of the academician。 The consequences are evident。 The honours and censures of this Star Chamber of the Muses will be awarded according to the prejudices of the particular sect or faction which may at the time predominate。 Whigs would canvass against a Southey； Tories against a Byron。 Those who might at first protest against such conduct as unjust would soon adopt it on the plea of retaliation； and the general good of literature； for which the society was professedly instituted； would be forgotten in the stronger claims of political and religious partiality。
Yet even this is not the worst。 Should the institution ever acquire any influence； it will afford most pernicious facilities to every malignant coward who may desire to blast a reputation which he envies。 It will furnish a secure ambuscade； behind which the Maroons of literature may take a certain and deadly aim。 The editorial WE has often been fatal to rising genius； though all the world knows that it is only a form of speech； very often employed by a single needy blockhead。 The academic WE would have a far greater and more ruinous influence。 Numbers； while they increase the effect； would diminish the shame； of injustice。 The advantages of an open and those of an anonymous attack would be combined； and the authority of avowal would be united to the security of concealment。 The serpents in Virgil； after they had destroyed Laocoon； found an asylum from the vengeance of the enraged people behind the shield of the statue of Minerva。 And； in the same manner； everything that is grovelling and venomous； everything that can hiss； and everything that can sting； would take sanctuary in the recesses of this new temple of wisdom。
The French academy was； of all such associations； the most widely and the most justly celebrated。 It was founded by the greatest of ministers： it was patronised by successive kings； it numbered in its lists most of the eminent French writers。 Yet what benefit has literature derived from its labours？ What is its history but an uninterrupted record of servile compliancesof paltry artificesof deadly quarrelsof perfidious friendships？ Whether governed by the Court； by the Sorbonne； or by the Philosophers； it was always equally powerful for evil； and equally impotent for good。 I might speak of the attacks by which it attempted to depress the rising fame of Corneille； I might speak of the reluctance with which it gave its tardy confirmation to the applauses which the whole civilised world had bestowed on the genius of Voltaire。 I might prove by overwhelming evidence that； to the latest period of its existence； even under the superintendence of the all…accomplished D'Alembert； it continued to be a scene of the fiercest animosities and the basest intrigues。 I might cite Piron's epigrams； and Marmontel's memoirs； and Montesquieu's letters。 But I hasten on to another topic。
One of the modes by which our Society proposes to encourage merit is the distribution of prizes。 The munificence of the king has enabled it to offer an annual premium of a hundred guineas for the best essay in prose； and another of fifty guineas for the best poem； which may be transmitted to it。 This is very laughable。 In the first place the judges may err。 Those imperfections of human intellect to which； as the articles of the Church tell us； even general councils are subject； may possibly be found even in the Royal Society of Literature。 The French academy； as I have already said； was the most illustrious assembly of the kind； and numbered among its associates men much more distinguished than ever will assemble at Mr Hatchard's to rummage the box of the English Society。 Yet this famous body gave a poetical prize； for which Voltaire was a candidate； to a fellow who wrote some verses about THE FROZEN AND THE BURNING POLE。
Yet； granting that the prizes were always awarded to the best composition； that composition； I say without hesitation； will always be bad。 A prize poem is like a prize sheep。 The object of the competitor for the agricultural premium is to produce an animal fit； not to be eaten； but to be weighed。 Accordingly he pampers his victim into morbid and unnatural fatness； and； when it is in such a state that it would be sent away in disgust from any table； he offers it to the judges。 The object of the poetical candidate； in like manner； is to produce； not a good poem； but a poem of that exact degree of frigidity or bombast which may appear to his censors to be correct or sublime。 Compositions thus constructed will always be worthless。 The few excellences which they may contain will have an exotic aspect and flavour。 In general； prize sheep are good for nothing but to make tallow candles； and prize poems are good for nothing but to light them。
The first subject proposed by the Society to the poets of England was Dartmoor。 I thought that they intended a covert sarcasm at their own projects。 Their institution was a literary Dartmoor scheme；a plan for forcing into cultivation the waste lands of intellect；for raising poetical produce； by means of bounties； from soil too meagre to have yielded any returns in the natural course of things。 The plan for the cultivation of Dartmoor has； I hear； been abandoned。 I hope that this may be an omen of the fate of the Society。
In truth； this seems by no means improbable。 They have been offering for several years the rewards which the king placed at their disposal； and have not； as far as I can learn； been able to find in their box one composition which they have deemed worthy of publication。 At least no publication has taken place。 The associates may perhaps be astonished at this。 But I will attempt to explain it； after the manner of ancient times； by means of an apologue。
About four hundred years after the Deluge； King Gomer Chephoraod reigned in Babylon。 He united all the characteristics of an excellent sovereign。 He made good laws； won great battles； and white…washed long streets。 He was； in consequence； idolised by his people； and panegyrised by many poets and orators。 A book was then a sermons undertaking。 Neither paper nor any similar material had been invented。 Authors were therefore under the necessity of inscribing their compositions on massive bricks。 Some of these Babylonian records are still preserved in European museums； but the language in which they are written has never been deciphered。 Gomer Chephoraod was so popular that the clay of all the plains round the Euphrates could scarcely furnish brick…kilns enough for his eulogists。 It is recorded in particular that Pharonezzar； the Assyrian Pindar； published a bridge and four walls in his praise。
One day the king was going in state from his palace to the temple of Belus。 During this procession it was lawful for any Babylonian to offer any petition or suggestion to his sovereign。 As the chariot passed before a vintner's shop； a large company； apparently half…drunk； sallied forth into the street； and one of them thus addressed the king：
〃Gomer Chephoraod； live for ever！ It appears to thy servants that of all the productions of the earth good wine is the best； and bad wine is the worst。 Good wine makes the heart cheerful； the eyes bright； the speech ready。 Bad wine confuses the head； disorders the stomach； makes us quarrelsome at night； and sick the next morning。 Now therefore let my lord the king take order that thy servants may drink good wine。
〃And how is this to be done？〃 said the good…natured prince。
〃O King；〃 said his monitor； 〃this is most easy。 Let the king make a decree； and seal it with his royal signet： and let it be proclaimed that the king will give ten she…asses； and ten slaves； and ten changes of raiment； every year； unto the man who shall make ten measures of the best wine。 And whosoever wishes for the she…asses； and the slaves； and the raiment； let him send the ten measures of wine to thy servants； and we will drink thereof and judge。 So shall there be much good wine in Assyria。〃
The project pleased Gomer Chephoraod。 〃Be it so；〃 said he。 The people shouted。 The petitioners prostrated themselves in gratitude。 The same night heralds were despatched to bear the intelligence to the remotest districts of Assyria。
After a due interval the wines began to come in； and the examiners assembled to adjudge the prize。 The first vessel was unsealed。 Its odour was such that the judges； without tasting it； pronounced unanimous condemnation。 The next was opened： it had a villainous taste of clay。 The third was sour and vapid。 They proceeded from one cask of execrable liquor to another； t