《count bunker》

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count bunker- 第4部分


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〃Her father is Darius P。 Maddison; the American Silver King。〃

The other two could not withhold an exclamation。

〃He has only two children; a son and a daughter; and he wants to marry his daughter to an English peeror a Scotch; it's all the same。  My aunt knows 'em pretty well; and she has recommended me。〃

〃An excellent selection;〃 commented his host。

〃But the trouble is; they want rather a high…class peer。  Old Maddison is deuced particular; and I believe the girl is even worse。〃

〃What are the qualifications desired?〃

〃Oh; he's got to be ambitious; and a promising young manand elevated tastesand all that kind of nonsense。〃

〃But you can be all zat if you try!〃 said the Baron eagerly。  〃Go to Germany and get trained。  I did vork twelve hours a day for ten years to be vat I am。〃

〃I'm different;〃 replied the young peer gloomily。  〃Nobody ever trained me。  Old Tulliwuddle might have taken me up if he had liked; but he was prejudiced against me。  I can't become all those things now。〃

〃And yet you do want to marry the lady?〃

〃My dear Essington; I can't afford to lose such a chance!  One doesn't get a Miss Maddison every day。  She's a deuced handsome girl too; they say。〃

〃By Gad; it's worth a trip across the Atlantic to try your luck;〃 said Essington。  〃Get 'em to guarantee your expenses and you'll at least learn to play poker and see Niagara for nothing。〃

〃They aren't in America。  They've got a salmon river in Scotland; and they are there now。  It's not far from my place; Hechnahoul。〃

〃She's practically in your arms; then?〃

〃Ach。  Ze affair is easy!〃

〃Pipe up the clan and abduct her!〃

〃Approach her mit a kilt!〃

But even those optimistic exhortations left the peer still melancholy。

〃It sounds all very well;〃 said he; 〃but my clansmen; as you call 'em; would expect such a devil of a lot from me too。  Old Tulliwuddle spoiled them for any ordinary mortal。  He went about looking like an advertisement for whisky; and called 'em all by their beastly Gaelic names。  I have never been in Scotland in my life; and I can't do that sort of thing。  I'd merely make a fool of myself。  If I'd had to go to America it wouldn't have been so bad。〃

At this weak…kneed confession the Baron could hardly withhold an exclamation of contempt; but Essington; with more sympathy; inquired

〃What do you propose to do; then?〃

His lordship emptied his glass。

〃I wish I had your brains and your way of carrying things off; Essington!〃 he said; with a sigh。  〃If you got a chance of showing yourself off to Miss Maddison she'd jump at you!〃

A gleam; inspired and humorous; leaped into Essington's eyes。  The Baron; whose glance happened at the moment to fall on him; bounded gleefully from his seat。

〃Hoch!〃 he cried; 〃it is mine old Bonker zat I see before me!  Vat have you in your mind?〃

〃Sit down; my dear Baron; that lady over there thinks you are preparing to attack her。  Shall we smoke?  Try these cigars。〃

Throwing the Baron a shrewd glance to calm his somewhat alarming exhilaration; their host turned with a graver air to his other guest。

〃Tulliwuddle;〃 said he; 〃I should like to help you。〃

〃I wish to the deuce you could!〃

Essington bent over the table confidentially。

〃I have an idea。〃



CHAPTER IV

The three heads bent forward towards a common centrethe Baron agog with suppressed excitement; Tulliwuddle revived with curiosity and a gleam of hope; Essington impressive and cool。

〃I take it;〃 he began; 〃that if Mr。 Darius P。 Maddison and his coveted daughter could see a little of Lord Tulliwuddlemeet him at lunch; talk to him afterwards; for instanceand carry away a favorable impression of the nobleman; there would not be much difficulty in subsequently arranging a marriage?〃

〃Oh; none;〃 said Tulliwuddle。  〃They'd be only too keen; IF they approved of me; but that's the rub; you know。〃

〃So far so good。  Now it appears to me that our modest friend here somewhat underrates his own powers of fascination〃

〃Ach; Tollyvoddle; you do indeed;〃 interjected the Baron。

〃But since this idea is so firmly established in his mind that it may actually prevent him from displaying himself to the greatest advantage; and since he has been good enough to declare that he would regard with complete confidence my own chances of success were I in his place; I would proposewith all becoming diffidence that _I_ should interview the lady and her parent instead of him。〃

〃A vary vise idea; Bonker;〃 observed the Baron。

〃What!〃 said Tulliwuddle。  〃Do you mean that you would go and crack me up; and that sort of thing?〃

〃No; I mean that I should enjoy a temporary loan of your name and of your residence; and assure them by a personal inspection that I have a sufficient assortment of virtues for their requirements。〃

〃Splendid!〃 shouted the Baron。  〃Tollyvoddle; accept zis generous offer before it is too late!〃

〃But;〃 gasped the diffident nobleman; 〃they would find out the next time they saw me。〃

〃If the business is properly arranged; that would only be when you came out of church with her。  Look herewhat fault have you to find with this scheme?  I produce the desired impression; and either propose at once and am accepted〃

〃H'm;〃 muttered Tulliwuddle doubtfully。

〃Or I leave things in such good train that you can propose and get accepted afterwards by letter。〃

〃That's better;〃 said Tulliwuddle。

〃Then; by a little exercise of our wits; you find an excuse for hurrying on the marriagehave it a private affair for family reasons; and so on。  You will be prevented by one excuse or another from meeting the lady till the wedding…day。  We shall choose a darkish church; you will have a plaster on your faceand the deed is done!〃

〃Not a fault can I find;〃 commented the Baron sagely。  〃Essington; I congratulate you。〃

Between his complete confidence in Essington and the Baron's unqualified commendation; Lord Tulliwuddle was carried away by the project。

〃I say; Essington; what a good fellow you are!〃 he cried。  〃You really think it will work?〃

〃What do you say; Baron?〃

〃It cannot fail; I do solemnly assure you。  Be thankful you have soch a friend; Tollyvoddle!〃

〃You don't think anybody will suspect that you aren't really me?〃

〃Does any one up at Hechnahoul know you?〃

〃No。〃

〃And no one there knows me。  They will never suspect for an instant。〃

His lordship assumed a look that would have been serious; almost impressive; had he first removed his eye… glass。  Evidently some weighty consideration had occurred to him。

〃You are an awfully clever chap; Essington;〃 he said; 〃and deuced superior to most fellows; anderall that kind of thing。  Butwellyou don't mind my saying it?〃

〃My morals?  My appearance?  Say anything you like; my dear fellow。〃

〃It's only this; that noblesse oblige; and that kind of thing; you know。〃

〃I am afraid I don't quite follow。〃

〃Well; I mean that you aren't a nobleman; and do you think you could carry things off like aahlike a Tulliwuddle?〃

Essington remained entirely serious。

〃I shall have at my elbow an adviser whose knowledge of the highest society in Europe is; without exaggeration; unequalled。  Your perfectly natural doubts will be laid at rest when I tell you that I hope to be accompanied by the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg。〃

The Baron could no longer contain himself。

〃Himmel!  Hurray!  My dear friend; I vill go mit you to hell!〃

〃That's very good of you;〃 said Essington; 〃but you mistake my present destination。  I merely wish your company as far as the Castle of Hechnahoul。〃

〃I gom mit so moch pleasure zat I cannot eggspress!  Tollyvoddle; be no longer afraid。  I have helped to write a book on ze noble families of Germanyzat is to say; I have contributed my portrait and some anecdote。  Our dear friend shall make no mistakes!〃

By this guarantee Lord Tulliwuddle's last doubts were completely set at rest。  His spirits rose as he perceived how happily this easy avenue would lead him out of all his troubles。  He insisted on calling for wine and pledging success to the adventure with the most resolute and confident air; and nothing but a few details remained now to be settled。  These were chiefly with regard to the precise limits up to which the duplicate Lord Tulliwuddle might advance his conquering arms。

〃You won't formally propose; will you?〃 said the first edition of that peer。

〃Certainly not; if you prefer to negotiate the surrender yourself;〃 the later impression assured him。

〃And you mustn'tweller〃

〃I shall touch nothing。〃

〃A girl might get carried away by you;〃 said the original peer a trifle doubtfully。

〃The Baron is the most scrupulous of men。  He will be by my side almost continually。  Baron; you will act as my judge; my censor; and my chaperon?〃

〃Tollyvoddle; I swear to you zat I shall use an eye like ze eagle。  He shall be so carefulach; I shall see to it!  Myself; I am a Bayard mit ze ladies; and Bonker he shall not be less so!〃

〃Thanks; Baron; thanks awfully;〃 said his lordship。  〃Now my mind is quite at rest!〃

In the vestibule of the restaurant they bade good… night to the confiding nobleman; and then turned to one another with an adventurer's smile。

〃You are sure you can 
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