we two- 第19部分

〃Don't　be　afraid　of　speaking；〃　she　said；　a　softer　light　coming　into　her　eyes。　　〃I　don't　know　why　people　shrink　from　meeting　trouble。　　Even　Tom　is　half　afraid　of　me。　　I　am　not　changed；　I　am　still　Erica；　can't　you　understand　how　much　I　want　every　one　now？

〃People　differ　so　much；〃　said　Brian；　a　little　huskily；　〃and　then　when　one　feels　strongly　words　do　not　come　easily。〃

〃Do　you　think　I　would　not　rather　have　your　sympathy　than　an　oration　from　any　one　else！　　You　who　were　here　to　the　end！　　You　who　did　everything　forfor　her。　　My　father　has　told　me　very　little；　he　was　not　able　to；　but　he　told　me　of　you；　how　helpful　you　were；　how　good；　not　like　an　outsider　at　all！〃

Evidently　she　clung　to　the　comforting　recollection　that　at　least　one　trustable；　sympathetic　person　had　been　with　her　mother　at　the　last。　　Brian　could　only　say　how　little　he　had　done；　how　much　more　he　would　fain　have　done　had　it　been　possible。

〃I　think　you　do　comfort　me　by　talking；〃　said　Erica。　　〃And　now　I　want　you；　if　you　don't　mind；　to　tell　me　all　from　the　very　first。　　I　can't　torture　my　father　by　asking　him；　and　I　couldn't　hear　it　from　the　landlady。　　But　you　were　here；　you　can　tell　me　all。　　Don't　be　afraid　of　hurting　me；　can't　you　understand；　if　the　past　were　the　only　thing　left　to　you；　you　would　want　to　know　every　tiniest　detail！〃

He　looked　searchingly　into　her　eyes；　he　thought　she　was　right。　　There　were　no　degrees　to　pain　like　hers！　　Besides；　it　was　quite　possible　that　the　lesser　details　of　her　mother's　death　might　bring　tears　which　would　relieve　her。　　Very　quietly；　very　reverently；　he　told　her　all　that　had　passedshe　already　knew　that　her　mother　had　died　from　aneurism　of　the　hearthe　told　her　how　in　the　evening　he　had　been　summoned　to　her；　and　from　the　first　had　known　that　it　was　hopeless；　had　been　obliged　to　tell　her　that　the　time　for　speech　even　was　but　short。　　He　had　ordered　a　telegram　to　be　sent　to　her　father　at　Birmingham；　but　Mrs。　Craigie　and　Tom　were　out　for　the　evening；　and　no　one　knew　where　they　were　to　be　found。　　He　and　the　landlady　had　been　alone。

〃She　spoke　constantly　of　you；〃　he　continued。　　〃The　very　last　words　she　said　were　these；　'Tell　Erica　that　only　love　can　keep　from　bitterness；　that　love　is　stronger　than　the　world's　unkindness。'　　Then；　after　a　minute's　pause；　she　added；　'Be　good　to　my　little　girl；　promise　to　be　good　to　her。'　　After　that；　speech　became　impossible；　but　I　do　not　think　she　suffered。　　Once　she　motioned　to　me　to　give　her　the　frame　off　the　mantlepiece　with　your　photograph；　she　looked　at　it　and　kept　it　near　hershe　died　with　it　in　her　hand。〃

Erica　hid　her　face；　that　one　trifling　little　incident　was　too　much　for　her；　the　tears　rained　down　between　her　fingers。　　That　it　should　have　come　to　that！　　No　one　whom　she　loved　there　at　the　lastbut　she　had　looked　at　the　photograph；　had　held　it　to　the　very　end；　the　voiceless；　useless　picture　had　been　there；　the　real　Erica　had　been　laughing　and　talking　at　Paris！　　Brian　talked　on　slowly；　soothingly。　　Presently　he　paused；　then　Erica　suddenly　looked　up；　and　dashing　away　her　tears；　said；　in　a　voice　which　was　terrible　in　its　mingled　pain　and　indignation。　　

〃I　might　have　been　here！　　I　might　have　been　with　her！　　It　is　the　fault　of　that　wretched　man　who　went　bankrupt；　the　fault　of　the　bigots　who　will　not　treat　us　fairlywho　ruin　us！〃

She　sobbed　with　passionate　pain；　a　vivid　streak　of　crimson　dyed　her　cheek；　contrasting　strangely　with　the　deathly　whiteness　of　her　brow。

〃Forgive　me　if　I　pain　you；〃　said　Brian；　〃but　have　you　forgotten　the　message　I　gave　you？　　'It　is　only　love　that　can　keep　from　bitterness！'〃

〃Love！〃　cried　Erica；　she　could　have　screamed　it；　if　she　had　not　been　so　physically　exhausted。　　〃Do　you　mean　I　am　to　love　our　enemies？〃

〃It　is　only　the　love　of　all　humanity　that　can　keep　from　bitterness；〃　said　Brian。

Erica　began　to　think　over　his　reply；　and　in　thinking　grew　calm　once　more。　　By　and　by　she　lifted　up　her　face；　it　was　pale　again　now；　and　still；　and　perfectly　hopeless。

〃I　suppose　you　think　that　only　Christians　can　love　all　humanity；〃　she　said；　a　little　coldly。

〃I　should　call　all　true　lovers　of　humanity　Christians；〃　replied　Brian；　〃whether　they　are　consciously　followers　of　Christ　or　not。〃

She　thought　a　little；　then　with　a　curiously　hard　look　in　her　face；　she　suddenly　flashed　round　upon　him　with　a　question；　much　as　her　father　was　in　the　habit　of　doing　when　an　adversary　had　made　some　broad…hearted　statement　which　had　baffled　him。

〃Some　of　you　give　us　a　little　more　charity　than　others；　but　what　do　you　mean　by　Christianity？　　You　ask　us　to　believe　what　is　incredible。　　WHY　do　you　believe　in　the　resurrection：　What　reason　have　you　for　thinking　it　true？〃

She　expected　him　to　go　into　the　evidence　question；　to　quote　the　number　of　Christ's　appearances；　to　speak　of　the　five　hundred　witnesses　of　whom　she　was　weary　of　hearing。　　Her　mind　was　proof　against　all　this；　what　could　be　more　probable　than　that　a　number　of　devoted　followers　should　be　the　victims　of　some　optical　delusion；　especially　when　their　minds　were　disturbed　by　grief。　　Here　was　a　miracle　supported　on　one　side　by　the　testimony　of　five　hundred　and　odd　spectators　all　longing　to　see　their　late　Master；　and　contradicted　on　the　other　side　by　common　sense　and　the　experience　of　the　remainder　of　the　human　race　during　thousands　of　years！　　She　looked　full　at　Brian；　a　hard　yet　almost　exultant　expression　in　her　eyes；　which　spoke　more　plainly　than　words　her　perfect　conviction：

〃You　can't　set　your　evidences　against　my　counter…evidences！　　You　can't　logically　maintain　that　a　few　uneducated　men　are　to　have　more　weight　than　all　the　united　experience　of　mankind。〃

Never　would　she　so　gladly　have　believed　in　the　doctrine　of　immortality　as　now；　yet　with　characteristic　honesty　and　resoluteness　she　set　herself　into　an　attitude　of　rigid　defense；　lest　through　strong　desire　or　mere　bodily　weariness　she　should　drift　into　the　acceptance　of　what　might　be；　what　indeed　she　considered　to　be　error。　　But　to　her　surprise；　half　to　her　disappointment；　Brian　did　not　even　mention　the　evidences。　　She　had　braced　herself　up　to　withstand　arguments　drawn　from　the　five　hundred　brothers；　but　the　preparation　was　useless。

〃I　believe　in　the　resurrection；〃　said　Brian；　〃because　I　cannot　doubt　Jesus　Christ。　　He　is　the　most　perfectly　lovable　and　trustable　being　I　know；　or　can　conceive　of　knowing。　　He　said　He　should　rise　again；　I　believe　that　He　did　rise。　　He　was　perfectly　truthful；　therefore　He　could　not　mislead；　He　KNEW；　therefore　He　could　not　be　misled。〃

〃We　do　not　consider　Him　to　be　all　that　you　assert；〃　said　Erica。　　〃Nor　do　His　followers　make　one　inclined　to　think　that　either　He　or　His　teaching　were　so　perfect　as　you　try　to　make　out。　　You　are　not　so　hard…hearted　as　some　of　them〃

She　broke　off；　seeing　a　look　of　pain　on　her　companion's　face。　　〃Oh；　what　am　I　saying！〃　she　cried　in　a　very　different　tone；　〃you　who　have　done　so　muchyou　who　were　always　good　to　usI　did　not　indeed　mean　to　hurt　you；　it　is　your　creed　that　I　can't　help　hating；　not　you。　　You　are　our　friend；　you　said　so　long　ago。〃

〃Always；〃　said　Brian；　〃never　doubt　that。〃

〃Then　you　must　forgive　me　for　having　wounded　you；〃　said　Erica；　her　whole　face　softening。　　〃You　must　remember　how　hard　it　all　is；　and　that　I　am　so　very；　very　miserable。〃

He　would　have　given　his　life　to　bring　her　comfort；　but　he　was　not　a　very　great　believer　in　words；　and　besides；　he　thought　she　had　talked　quite　as　long　as　she　ought。

〃I　think；〃　he　said；　〃that；　honestly　acted　out；　the　message　intrusted　to　me　ought　to　comfort　your　misery。〃

〃I　can't　act　it　out；〃　she　said。

〃You　will　begin　to　try；〃　was　Brian's　answer；　and　then；　with　a　very　full　heart；　he　said　goodbye　and　left　his　Undine　sitting　by　the　fire；　with　her　head　resting　on　her　hands；　and　the　words　of　her　mother's　message　echoing　in　her　ears。　　〃It　is　only　love　that　can　keep　from　bitterness；　love　is　stronger　than　the　world's　unkindness。〃

Presently；　not　daring　to　dwell　too　much　on　that　last　scene　which　Brian　had　described；　she　turned　to　his　strange；　unexpected　reason　for　his　belief　in　the　resurrection；　and　mused　over　the　characteristics　of　his　ideal。　　Then　she　thought　she　would　like　to　see　again　what　her　ideal　man　had　to　say　about　his；　and　she　got　up　and　searched　for　a　small　book　in　a　limp　red　cover；　labeled　〃Life　of　Jesus　of　NazarethLuke　Raeburn。〃　　It　was　more　than　two　years　since　she　had　seen　it；　she　read　it　through　once　more。　　The　style　was　vigorous；　the　veiled　sarcasms　were　not　unpleasant　to　her；　she　detected　no　unfairness　in　the　mode　of　treatment；　the　book　satisfied　her；　the　conclusion　arrived　at　seemed　to　her　inevitableBrian　Osmond's　ideal　was　not　perfect。

With　a　sigh　of　utter　weariness　she　shut　the　book　and　leaned　back　in　her　chair　with　a　still；　white；　hopeless　face。　　Presently　Friskarina　sprung　up　on　her　knee　with　a　little　sympathetic　mew；　she　had　been　too　miserable　as　yet　to　notice　even　her　favorite　cat　very　much；　now　a　scarcely　perceptible　shade　of　relief　came　to　her　sadness；　she　stroked　the　soft　gray　head。　　But　scarcely　had　she　spoken　to　her　favorite；　when　the　cat　suddenly　turned　away；　sprung　from　her　knee　and　trotted　out　of　the　room。　　It　seemed　like　actual　desertion；　and　Erica　could　ill　bear　it　just　then。

〃What；　you　too；　Friskie；〃　she　said　to　herself