we two- 第45部分

〃Ten　more！〃

He　was　gasping　now。　　Erica's　weight　seemed　to　be　dragging　him　down；　down；　into　nothingness。

Six　strokes　painfully　made！　　Seven！　　After　all　nothingness　would　mean　rest。　　Eight！　　No　pain　to　either；　since　they　were　together。　　Nine！　　He　should　live　on　in　the　hearts　of　his　people。　　Ten！　　Agony　of　failure！　　He　was　beaten　at　last！

What　followed　they　neither　of　them　knew；　only　there　was　a　shout；　an　agony　of　sinking；　a　vision　of　a　dark　form　and　a　something　solid　which　they　grasped　convulsively。

When　Erica　came　to　herself　they　were　by　no　means　out　of　danger；　but　there　was　something　between　them　and　the　angry　sea。　　She　was　lying　down　at　the　bottom　of　a　boat　in　close　proximity　to　some　silvery…skinned　fishes；　and　her　father　was　holding　her　hand。

Wildly　they　tossed　for　what　seemed　to　her　a　very　long　time；　but　at　length　fresh　voices　were　heard；　the　keel　grated　on　the　shore；　she　felt　herself　lifted　up　and　carried　on　to　the　beach。　　Then；　with　an　effort；　she　stood　up　once　more；　trembling　and　exhausted；　but　conscious　that　mere　existence　was　rapture。

Raeburn　paused　to　reward　and　thank　the　men　who　had　rescued　them　in　his　most　genial　manner；　and　Erica's　happiness　would　have　been　complete　had　not　the　coast　guardsman　stepped　up　in　an　insolent　and　officious　way；　and　observed：

〃It　is　a　pity；　Mr。　Luke　Raeburn；　that　you　don't　bring　yourself　to　offer　thanks　to　God　almighty！〃　

〃Sir；〃　replied　Raeburn；　〃when　I　ask　your　opinion　of　my　personal　and　private　matters；　it　will　be　fitting　that　you　should　speak　not　before！〃

The　man　looked　annihilated；　and　turned　away。

Raeburn　grasped　the　rough　hands　of　his　helpers　and　well…wishers；　gave　his　arm　to　Erica；　and　led　her　up　the　steep　beach。

Later　on　in　the　evening　they　sat　over　the　fire；　and　talked　over　their　adventure。　　June　though　it　was；　they　had　both　been　thoroughly　chilled。

〃What　did　you　think　of　when　we　were　in　the　water？'　asked　Erica。　

〃I　made　a　deep　calculation；〃　said　Raeburn；　smiling；　〃and　found　that　the　sale　of　the　plant　and　of　all　my　books　would　about　clear　off　the　last　of　the　debts；　and　that　I　should　die　free。　　After　that　I　thought　of　Cicero's　case　of　the　two　wise　men　struggling　in　the　sea　with　one　plank　to　rescue　them　sufficient　only　for　one。　　They　were　to　decide　which　of　their　lives　was　most　useful　to　the　republic；　and　the　least　useful　man　was　to　drop　down　quietly　into　the　deep。　　It　struck　me　that　you　and　I　should　hardly　come　to　such　a　calculation。　　I　think　we　would　have　gone　down　together；　little　one！　　What　did　you　think　of？〃

But　Erica's　thoughts　could　not　so　easily　be　put　into　words。

〃For　one　thing；〃　she　said；　〃I　thought　we　should　never　be　divided　any　more。〃

She　sighed　a　little；　for；　after　all；　the　death　they　had　so　narrowly　escaped　would　have　been　so　infinitely　easier　than　the　life　which　lay　before　her。

〃Clearly　we　are　inseparable！〃　said　Raeburn。　　〃In　that　sense；　little　son　Eric；　we　can　still　say；　'We　fear　nae　foe！'〃

Perhaps　the　gentle　words；　and　the　sadness　which　he　could　not　entirely　banish　from　his　tone；　moved　Erica　almost　more　than　his　passionate　utterances　in　the　morning。

The　day　was　no　bad　miniature　of　her　whole　life。　　Very　sad；　very　happy；　full　of　danger；　conflict　and　strife；　warmed　by　outside　sympathy；　wounded　by　outside　insolence。


CHAPTER　XXI。　What　it　Involved

Stronger　than　steel　Is　the　sword　of　the　spirit；　Swifter　than　arrows　The　life　of　the　truth　is；　Greater　than　anger　Is　love；　　and　subdueth。　　Longfellow

The　two　or　three　days　at　Codrington　lengthened　out　into　a　week；　for　both　Raeburn　and　Erica　felt　a　good　deal　exhausted　after　the　eventful　Monday。　　Raeburn；　anxious　to　spare　her　as　much　as　possible；　himself　wrote　to　Mrs。　Craigie；　and　told　her　of　Erica's　change　of　views。

〃It　is　a　great　grief；〃　he　wrote；　〃and　she　will　be　a　serious　loss　to　our　cause；　but　I　am　determined　that　we　will　not　enact　over　again　the　course　of　action　which　drove　both　you　and　me　from　home。　　Odd！　That　she　should　just　reverse　our　story！　　Anyhow；　you　and　I；　Jean；　have　been　too　much　persecuted　to　turn　into　persecutors。　　The　child　is　as　much　in　earnest　for　her　delusion　as　we　for　our　truth。　Argument　and　remonstrance　will　do　no　good；　and　you　must　understand；　and　make　Tom　understand；　that　I'll　not　have　her　bullied。　　Don't　think　that　I　am　trying　to　make　her　mistaken　way　all　easy　for　her。　　She　won't　find　it　easy。　　She　will　have　a　miserable　time　of　it　with　our　own　set；　and　how　many　Christians；　do　you　imagine；　will　hold　out　a　hand　to　Luke　Raeburn's　daughter；　even　though　her　views　have　changed？　　Maybe　half　a　dozen！　　Not　more；　I　fancy；　unless　she　renounced　us　with　atheism；　and　that　she　never　will　do！　　She　will　be　between　two　fires；　and　I　believe　between　the　two　she　will　be　worried　to　death　in　a　year　unless　we　can　keep　the　peace　at　home。　　I　don't　blame　Osmond　for　this；　though　at　first　I　did　suspect　it　was　his　doing；　but　this　has　been　no　cram…work。　　Erica　has　honestly　faced　the　questions　herself；　and　has　honestly　arrived　at　this　mistaken　conclusion。　　Osmond's　kindness　and　generosity　of　course　influenced　her；　but　for　the　rest　they　have　only　had　the　free　discussions　of　which　from　the　first　I　approved。　　Years　ago　he　said　to　me　plainly；　'What　if　she　should　see　reasons　to　change　her　mind？'　　I　scouted　the　notion　then；　it　seemed　and　still　seems　almost　INCREDIBLE。　　He　has；　you　see；　acted　quite　honorably。　　It　is　Erica's　own　doing。　　I　remember　telling　him　that　our　name　of　freethinkers　was　a　reality；　and　so　it　shall　still　be！　　She　shall　be　free　to　think　the　untrue　is　true；　she　shall　be　free　to　confess　herself　a　Christian　before　the　whole　world；　though　it　deal　me　the　hardest　of　blows。〃

This　letter　soon　spread　the　news。　　Aunt　Jean　was　too　much　vexed　and　not　deeply　grieved　enough　to　keep　silence。　　Vexation　finds　some　relief　in　talking；　deep　grief　as　a　rule　prefers　not　to　speak。　　Tom；　in　his　odd　way；　felt　the　defection　of　his　favorite　cousin　as　much　as　anybody；　except　Raeburn　himself。　　They　had　been　play…fellows；　they　had　always　been　like　brother　and　sister　together；　and　he　was　astounded　to　think　that　Erica；　of　all　people　in　the　world；　should　have　deserted　the　cause。　　The　letter　had　come　by　one　of　the　evening　posts。　　He　went　out　and　paced　up　and　down　the　square　in　the　soft　midsummer　twilight；　trying　to　realize　the　facts　of　the　case。　　Presently　he　heard　rapid　steps　behind　him；　no　one　walked　at　that　pace　excepting　Brian；　and　Tom　was　quite　prepared　to　feel　an　arm　link　itself　within　his。

〃Hallo；　old　fellow！〃　exclaimed　Brian。　　〃Moonlight　meditations？〃

〃Where　did　you　drop　from？〃　said　Tom；　evasively。

〃Broken　leg；　round　the　corner　a　public…house　row。　　What　brutes　men　are！〃　exclaimed　the　young　doctor；　hotly。

〃Disappointing　world　altogether；〃　said　Tom　with　a　sigh。　　〃What　do　you　think　we　have　just　heard　about　Erica？〃

Brian's　heart　almost　stopped　beating；　he　hardly　knew　what　he　feared。

〃How　can　I　tell？〃　he　answered；　hoarsely。　　〃No　bad　news；　I　hope？〃

〃She's　gone　and　turned　Christian；〃　said　Tom；　in　a　tone　of　deep　disgust。

Brian　started。

〃Thank　God！〃　he　exclaimed；　under　his　breath。

〃Confound　it！〃　cried　Tom。　　〃I'd　forgot　you'd　be　triumphant。　　Good　night；〃　and　he　marched　off　in　high　dudgeon。

Brian　did　not　even　miss　him。　　How　could　he　at　such　a　time？　　The　weight　of　years　had　been　lifted　off　his　soul。　　A　consuming　happiness　took　possession　of　him；　his　whole　being　was　a　thanksgiving。　　By　and　by　he　went　home；　found　his　father　in　the　study；　and　was　about　to　speak；　when　Charles　Osmond　put　an　open　letter　into　his　hand。　　While　Raeburn　had　written　to　his　sister；　Erica　had　written　to　her　〃prophet〃　a　sad；　happy；　quaint　letter　exactly　like　herself。　　Its　straightforward　simplicity　brought　the　tears　to　Brian's　eyes。

〃It　will　be　a　fearful　life　for　her　now！〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃She　will　never　be　able　to　endure　it。　　Father；　now　at　last　I　may　surely　speak　to　her。〃

He　spoke　very　eagerly。　　Charles　Osmond　looked　grave。

〃My　dear　old　fellow；　of　course　you　must　do　as　you　think　best；〃　he　replied；　after　a　minute's　pause；　〃but　I　doubt　if　it　is　wise　just　now。〃

〃Why；　it　is　the　very　time　of　all　others　when　she　might　be　glad　of　me；〃　said　Brian。

〃But　can't　you　see；〃　returned　his　father；　〃that　Erica　is　the　last　girl　in　the　world　to　marry　a　man　because　she　was　unhappy；　or　because　she　had　got　a　difficult　bit　of　life　in　front　of　her？　　Of　course；　if　you　really　think　she　cares　for　you；　it　is　different；　but〃

〃She　does　not　care　for　me；〃　said　Brian　quickly；　〃but　in　time　I　think　she　would。　　I　think　I　could　make　her　happy。〃

〃Yes；　I　think　you　could；　but　I　fancy　you　will　make　shipwreck　of　your　hopes　if　you　speak　to　her　now。　　Have　patience。〃

〃I　am　sick　of　patience！〃　cried　Brian　desperately。　　〃Have　I　not　been　patient　for　nearly　seven　years？　　For　what　would　you　have　me　wait？　　Am　I　to　wait　till；　between　our　injustice　to　secularists　and　their　injustice　to　Christians；　she　is　half　badgered　out　of　life？　　If　she　could　but　love　me；　if　she　would　marry　me　now；　I　could　save　her　from　what　must　be　a　life　of　misery。〃

〃If　I　could　but　get　you　to　see　it　from　what　I　am　convinced　is　Erica's　point　of　view！〃　exclaimed　Charles　Osmond。　　〃Forget　for　a　minute　that　you　are　her　knight　and　champion；　and　try　to　see　things　as　she　sees　them。　　Let　us　try　to　reverse　things。　　Just　imagine　for　a　minute　that　you　are　the　child