《unconscious comedians》

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unconscious comedians- 第7部分


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Ravenouillet says; his first 'cordon。'〃



〃I was the first master;〃 said Leon; 〃to consider the race of porter。

You'll find knaves of morality; mountebanks of vanity; modern

sycophants; septembriseurs; disguised in philanthropy; inventors of

palpitating questions; preaching the emancipation of the negroes;

improvement of little thieves; benevolence to liberated convicts; and

who; nevertheless; leave their porters in a condition worse than that

of the Irish; in holes more dreadful than a mud cabin; and pay them

less money to live on than the State pays to support a convict。 I have

done but one good action in my life; and that was to build my porter a

decent lodge。〃



〃Yes;〃 said Bixiou; 〃if a man; having built a great cage divided into

thousands of compartments like the cells of a beehive or the dens of a

menagerie; constructed to receive human beings of all trades and all

kinds; if that animal; calling itself the proprietor; should go to a

man of science and say: 'I want an individual of the bimanous species;

able to live in holes full of old boots; pestiferous with rags; and

ten feet square; I want him such that he can live there all his life;

sleep there; eat there; be happy; get children as pretty as little

cupids; work; toil; cultivate flowers; sing there; stay there; and

live in darkness but see and know everything;' most assuredly the man

of science could never have invented the porter to oblige the

proprietor; Paris; and Paris only could create him; or; if you choose;

the devil。〃



〃Parisian creative powers have gone farther than that;〃 said Gazonal;

〃look at the workmen! You don't know all the products of industry;

though you exhibit them。 Our toilers fight against the toilers of the

continent by force of misery; as Napoleon fought Europe by force of

regiments。〃



〃Here we are; at my friend the usurer's;〃 said Bixiou。 〃His name is

Vauvinet。 One of the greatest mistakes made by writers who describe

our manners and morals is to harp on old portraits。 In these days all

trades change。 The grocer becomes a peer of France; artists capitalize

their money; vaudevillists have incomes。 A few rare beings may remain

what they originally were; but professions in general have no longer

either their special costume or their formerly fixed habits and ways。

In the past we had Gobseck; Gigounet; Samonon;the last of the

Romans; to…day we rejoice in Vauvinet; the good…fellow usurer; the

dandy who frequents the greenroom and the lorettes; and drives about

in a little coupe with one horse。 Take special note of my man; friend

Gazonal; and you'll see the comedy of money; the cold man who won't

give a penny; the hot man who snuffs a profit; listen to him

attentively!〃



All three went up to the second floor of a fine…looking house on the

boulevard des Italiens; where they found themselves surrounded by the

elegances then in fashion。 A young man about twenty…eight years of age

advanced to meet them with a smiling face; for he saw Leon de Lora

first。 Vauvinet held out his hand with apparent friendliness to

Bixiou; and bowed coldly to Gazonal as he motioned them to enter his

office; where bourgeois taste was visible beneath the artistic

appearance of the furniture; and in spite of the statuettes and the

thousand other little trifles applied to our little apartments by

modern art; which has made itself as small as its patrons。



Vauvinet was dressed; like other young men of our day who go into

business; with extreme elegance; which many of them regard as a

species of prospectus。



〃I've come for some money;〃 said Bixiou; laughing; and presenting his

notes。



Vauvinet assumed a serious air; which made Gazonal smile; such

difference was there between the smiling visage that received them and

the countenance of the money…lender recalled to business。



〃My dear fellow;〃 said Vauvinet; looking at Bixiou; 〃I should

certainly oblige you with the greatest pleasure; but I haven't any

money to loan at the present time。〃



〃Ah; bah!〃



〃No; I have given all I had toyou know who。 That poor Lousteau went

into partnership for the management of a theatre with an old

vaudevillist who has great influence with the ministry; Ridal; and

they came to me yesterday for thirty thousand francs。 I'm cleaned out;

and so completely that I was just in the act of sending to Cerizet for

a hundred louis; when I lost at lansquenet this morning; at Jenny

Cadine's。〃



〃You must indeed me hard…up if you can't oblige this poor Bixiou;〃

said Leon de Lora; 〃for he can be very sharp…tongued when he hasn't a

sou。〃



〃Well;〃 said Bixiou; 〃I could never say anything but good of Vauvinet;

he's full of goods。〃



〃My dear friend;〃 said Vauvinet; 〃if I had the money; I couldn't

possibly discount; even at fifty per cent; notes which are drawn by

your porter。 Ravenouillet's paper isn't in demand。 He's not a

Rothschild。 I warn you that his notes are worn thin; you had better

invent another firm。 Find an uncle。 As for a friend who'll sign notes

for us there's no such being to be found; the matter…of…factness of

the present age is making awful progress。〃



〃I have a friend;〃 said Bixiou; motioning to Leon's cousin。 〃Monsieur

here; one of the most distinguished manufacturers of cloth in the

South; named Gazonal。 His hair is not very well dressed;〃 added

Bixiou; looking at the touzled and luxuriant crop on the provincial's

head; 〃but I am going to take him to Marius; who will make him look

less like a poodle…dog; an appearance so injurious to his credit; and

to ours。〃



〃I don't believe in Southern securities; be it said without offence to

monsieur;〃 replied Vauvinet; with whom Gazonal was so entertained that

he did not resent his insolence。



Gazonal; that extremely penetrating intellect; thought that the

painter and Bixiou intended; by way of teaching him to know Paris; to

make him pay the thousand francs for his breakfast at the Cafe de

Paris; for this son of the Pyrenees had never got out of that armor of

distrust which incloses the provincial in Paris。



〃How can you expect me to have outstanding business at seven hundred

miles from Paris?〃 added Vauvinet。



〃Then you refuse me positively?〃 asked Bixiou。



〃I have twenty francs; and no more;〃 said the young usurer。



〃I'm sorry for you;〃 said the joker。 〃I thought I was worth a thousand

francs。〃



〃You are worth two hundred thousand francs;〃 replied Vauvinet; 〃and

sometimes you are worth your weight in gold; or at least your tongue

is; but I tell you I haven't a penny。〃



〃Very good;〃 replied Bixiou; 〃then we won't say anything more about

it。 I had arranged for this evening; at Carabine's; the thing you most

wantedyou know?〃



Vauvinet winked an eye at Bixiou; the wink that two jockeys give each

other when they want to say: 〃Don't try trickery。〃



〃Don't you remember catching me round the waist as if I were a pretty

woman;〃 said Bixiou; 〃and coaxing me with look and speech; and saying;

'I'll do anything for you if you'll only get me shares at par in that

railroad du Tillet and Nucingen have made an offer for?' Well; old

fellow; du Tillet and Nucingen are coming to Carabine's to…night;

where they will meet a number of political characters。 You've lost a

fine opportunity。 Good…bye to you; old carrot。〃



Bixiou rose; leaving Vauvinet apparently indifferent; but inwardly

annoyed by the sense that he had committed a folly。



〃One moment; my dear fellow;〃 said the money…lender。 〃Though I haven't

the money; I have credit。 If your notes are worth nothing; I can keep

them and give you notes in exchange。 If we can come to an agreement

about that railway stock we could share the profits; of course in due

proportion and I'll allow you that on〃



〃No; no;〃 said Bixiou; 〃I want money in hand; and I must get those

notes of Ravenouillet's cashed。〃



〃Ravenouillet is sound;〃 said Vauvinet。 〃He puts money into the

savings…bank; he is good security。〃



〃Better than you;〃 interposed Leon; 〃for HE doesn't stipend lorettes;

he hasn't any rent to pay; and he never rushes into speculations which

keep him dreading either a rise or fall。〃



〃You think you can laugh at me; great man;〃 returned Vauvinet; once

more jovial and caressing; 〃you've turned La Fontaine's fable of 'Le

Chene et le Roseau' into an elixir Come; Gubetta; my old

accomplice;〃 he continued; seizing Bixiou round the waist; 〃you want

money; well; I can borrow three thousand francs from my friend Cerizet

instead of two; 'Let us be friends; Cinna!' hand over your colossal

cabbages;made to trick the public like a gardener's catalogue。 If I

refused you it was because it is pretty hard on a man who can only do

his poor little business by turning over his money; to have to keep

your Ravenouillet notes in the drawer of his desk。 Hard; hard; very

hard!〃



〃What discount do you want?〃 asked Bixiou。



〃Next to nothing;〃 returned Va
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