end of the tether- 第29部分

taint　of　blackmailing。　　〃What　could　anyone　bring



against　him？〃　he　asked　himself。　　This　was　a　limpid



personality。　　〃And　for　what　object？〃　　The　Power



that　man　trusted　had　thought　fit　to　leave　him　nothing



on　earth　that　envy　could　lay　hold　of；　except　a　bare　crust



of　bread。







〃Won't　you　try　some　of　this？〃　he　asked；　pushing　a



dish　slightly。　　Suddenly　it　seemed　to　Mr。　Van　Wyk　that



Sterne　might　possibly　be　coveting　the　command　of　the



Sofala。　　His　cynicism　was　quite　startled　by　what　looked



like　a　proof　that　no　man　may　count　himself　safe　from



his　kind　unless　in　the　very　abyss　of　misery。　　An　in…



trigue　of　that　sort　was　hardly　worth　troubling　about；



he　judged；　but　still；　with　such　a　fool　as　Massy　to　deal





with；　Whalley　ought　to　and　must　be　warned。







At　this　moment　Captain　Whalley；　bolt　upright；　the



deep　cavities　of　the　eyes　overhung　by　a　bushy　frown；



and　one　large　brown　hand　resting　on　each　side　of　his



empty　plate；　spoke　across　the　tablecloth　abruptly







〃Mr。　Van　Wyk；　you've　always　treated　me　with　the



most　humane　consideration。〃







〃My　dear　captain；　you　make　too　much　of　a　simple



fact　that　I　am　not　a　savage。〃　　Mr。　Van　Wyk；　utterly



revolted　by　the　thought　of　Sterne's　obscure　attempt；



raised　his　voice　incisively；　as　if　the　mate　had　been　hiding



somewhere　within　earshot。　　〃Any　consideration　I　have



been　able　to　show　was　no　more　than　the　rightful　due



of　a　character　I've　learned　to　regard　by　this　time　with



an　esteem　that　nothing　can　shake。〃







A　slight　ring　of　glass　made　him　lift　his　eyes　from　the



slice　of　pine…apple　he　was　cutting　into　small　pieces　on



his　plate。　　In　changing　his　position　Captain　Whalley



had　contrived　to　upset　an　empty　tumbler。







Without　looking　that　way；　leaning　sideways　on　his



elbow；　his　other　hand　shading　his　brow；　he　groped



shakily　for　it；　then　desisted。　　Van　Wyk　stared　blankly；



as　if　something　momentous　had　happened　all　at　once。



He　did　not　know　why　he　should　feel　so　startled；　but　he



forgot　Sterne　utterly　for　the　moment。







〃Why；　what's　the　matter？〃







And　Captain　Whalley；　half…averted；　in　a　deadened；



agitated　voice；　muttered







〃Esteem！〃







〃And　I　may　add　something　more；〃　Mr。　Van　Wyk；



very　steady…eyed；　pronounced　slowly。







〃Hold！　　Enough！〃　　Captain　Whalley　did　not



change　his　attitude　or　raise　his　voice。　　〃Say　no　more！



I　can　make　you　no　return。　　I　am　too　poor　even　for　that



now。　　Your　esteem　is　worth　having。　　You　are　not　a



man　that　would　stoop　to　deceive　the　poorest　sort　of　devil



on　earth；　or　make　a　ship　unseaworthy　every　time　he



takes　her　to　sea。〃







Mr。　Van　Wyk；　leaning　forward；　his　face　gone　pink



all　over；　with　the　starched　table…napkin　over　his　knees；



was　inclined　to　mistrust　his　senses；　his　power　of　com…



prehension；　the　sanity　of　his　guest。







〃Where？　　Why？　　In　the　name　of　God！what's　this？



What　ship？　　I　don't　understand　who　。　。　。〃







〃Then；　in　the　name　of　God；　it　is　I！　　A　ship's　unsea…



worthy　when　her　captain　can't　see。　　I　am　going　blind。〃







Mr。　Van　Wyk　made　a　slight　movement；　and　sat　very



still　afterwards　for　a　few　seconds；　then；　with　the



thought　of　Sterne's　〃The　game's　up；〃　he　ducked　under



the　table　to　pick　up　the　napkin　which　had　slipped　off



his　knees。　　This　was　the　game　that　was　up。　　And　at



the　same　time　the　muffled　voice　of　Captain　Whalley



passed　over　him







〃I've　deceived　them　all。　　Nobody　knows。〃







He　emerged　flushed　to　the　eyes。　　Captain　Whalley；



motionless　under　the　full　blaze　of　the　lamp；　shaded　his



face　with　his　hand。







〃And　you　had　that　courage？〃







〃Call　it　by　what　name　you　like。　　But　you　are　a　hu…



mane　manaagentleman；　Mr。　Van　Wyk。　　You　may



have　asked　me　what　I　had　done　with　my　conscience。〃







He　seemed　to　muse；　profoundly　silent；　very　still　in　his



mournful　pose。







〃I　began　to　tamper　with　it　in　my　pride。　　You　begin



to　see　a　lot　of　things　when　you　are　going　blind。　　I



could　not　be　frank　with　an　old　chum　even。　　I　was　not



frank　with　Massyno；　not　altogether。　　I　knew　he　took



me　for　a　wealthy　sailor　fool；　and　I　let　him。　　I　wanted



to　keep　up　my　importancebecause　there　was　poor　Ivy



away　theremy　daughter。　　What　did　I　want　to　trade



on　his　misery　for？　　I　did　trade　on　itfor　her。　　And



now；　what　mercy　could　I　expect　from　him？　　He　would



trade　on　mine　if　he　knew　it。　　He　would　hunt　the　old



fraud　out；　and　stick　to　the　money　for　a　year。　　Ivy's



money。　　And　I　haven't　kept　a　penny　for　myself。　　How



am　I　going　to　live　for　a　year。　　A　year！　　In　a　year　there



will　be　no　sun　in　the　sky　for　her　father。〃







His　deep　voice　came　out；　awfully　veiled；　as　though　he



had　been　overwhelmed　by　the　earth　of　a　landslide；　and



talking　to　you　of　the　thoughts　that　haunt　the　dead　in



their　graves。　　A　cold　shudder　ran　down　Mr。　Van　Wyk's



back。







〃And　how　long　is　it　since　you　have　。　。　。？〃　he



began。







〃It　was　a　long　time　before　I　could　bring　myself　to



believe　in　thisthis　visitation。〃　　Captain　Whalley



spoke　with　gloomy　patience　from　under　his　hand。







He　had　not　thought　he　had　deserved　it。　　He　had　begun



by　deceiving　himself　from　day　to　day；　from　week　to



week。　　He　had　the　Serang　at　hand　therean　old



servant。　　It　came　on　gradually；　and　when　he　could　no



longer　deceive　himself　。　。　。







His　voice　died　out　almost。







〃Rather　than　give　her　up　I　set　myself　to　deceive



you　all。〃







〃It's　incredible；〃　whispered　Mr。　Van　Wyk。　　Captain



Whalley's　appalling　murmur　flowed　on。







〃Not　even　the　sign　of　God's　anger　could　make　me



forget　her。　　How　could　I　forsake　my　child；　feeling　my



vigor　all　the　timethe　blood　warm　within　me？　　Warm



as　yours。　　It　seems　to　me　that；　like　the　blinded　Samson；



I　would　find　the　strength　to　shake　down　a　temple　upon



my　head。　　She's　a　struggling　womanmy　own　child



that　we　used　to　pray　over　together；　my　poor　wife　and　I。



Do　you　remember　that　day　I　as　well　as　told　you



that　I　believed　God　would　let　me　live　to　a　hundred　for



her　sake？　　What　sin　is　there　in　loving　your　child？　　Do



you　see　it？　　I　was　ready　for　her　sake　to　live　for　ever。



I　half　believed　I　would。　　I've　been　praying　for　death



since。　　Ha！　　Presumptuous　manyou　wanted　to



live　。　。　。〃







A　tremendous；　shuddering　upheaval　of　that　big　frame；



shaken　by　a　gasping　sob；　set　the　glasses　jingling　all



over　the　table；　seemed　to　make　the　whole　house　tremble



to　the　roof…tree。　　And　Mr。　Van　Wyk；　whose　feeling　of



outraged　love　had　been　translated　into　a　form　of　strug…



gle　with　nature；　understood　very　well　that；　for　that　man



whose　whole　life　had　been　conditioned　by　action；　there



could　exist　no　other　expression　for　all　the　emotions；　that；



to　voluntarily　cease　venturing；　doing；　enduring；　for　his



child's　sake；　would　have　been　exactly　like　plucking　his



warm　love　for　her　out　of　his　living　heart。　　Something



too　monstrous；　too　impossible；　even　to　conceive。







Captain　Whalley　had　not　changed　his　attitude；　that



seemed　to　express　something　of　shame；　sorrow；　and



defiance。







〃I　have　even　deceived　you。　　If　it　had　not　been　for



that　word　'esteem。'　　These　are　not　the　words　for　me。



I　would　have　lied　to　you。　　Haven't　I　lied　to　you？



Weren't　you　going　to　trust　your　property　on　board　this



very　trip？〃







〃I　have　a　floating　yearly　policy；〃　Mr。　Van　Wyk　said



almost　unwittingly；　and　was　amazed　at　the　sudden　crop…



ping　up　of　a　commercial　detail。







〃The　ship　is　unseaworthy；　I　tell　you。　　The　policy



would　be　invalid　if　it　were　known　。　。　。〃







〃We　shall　share　the　guilt；　then。〃







〃Nothing　could　make　mine　less；〃　said　Captain



Whalley。







He　had　not　dared　to　consult　a　doctor；　the　man　would



have　perhaps　asked　who　he　was；　what　he　was　doing；



Massy　might　have　heard　something。　　He　had　lived　on



without　any　help；　human　or　divine。　　The　very　prayers



stuck　in　his　throat。　　What　was　there　to　pray　for？　and



death　seemed　as　far　as　ever。　　Once　he　got　into　his　cabin



he　dared　not　come　out　again；　when　he　sat　down　he　dared



not　get　up；　he　dared　not　raise　his　eyes　to　anybody's



face；　he　felt　reluctant　to　look　upon　the　sea　or　up　to



the　sky。　　The　world　was　fading　before　his　great　fear



of　giving　himself　away。　　The　old　ship　was　his　last



friend；　he　was　not　afraid　of　her；　he　knew　every　inch



of　her　deck；　but　at　her　too　he　hardly　dared　to　look；　for



fear　of　findi