old woman； 〃the sending a living creature to Wayland Smith。〃
〃Peace； Gammer Sludge！〃 said the pedagogue； 〃PAUCA VERBA； Gammer
Sludge； look to the furmity； Gammer Sludge； CURETUR JENTACULUM；
Gammer Sludge； this gentleman is none of thy gossips。〃 Then
turning to Tressilian； he resumed his lofty tone； 〃And so； most
worshipful； you would really think yourself FELIX BIS TERQUE
should I point out to you the dwelling of this same smith？〃
〃Sir；〃 replied Tressilian； 〃I should in that case have all that I
want at presenta horse fit to carry me forward；out of hearing
of your learning。〃 The last words he muttered to himself。
〃O CAECA MENS MORTALIUM！〃 said the learned man 〃well was it sung
by Junius Juvenalis； 'NUMINIBUS VOTA EXAUDITA MALIGNIS！'〃
〃Learned Magister；〃 said Tressilian； 〃your erudition so greatly
exceeds my poor intellectual capacity that you must excuse my
seeking elsewhere for information which I can better understand。〃
〃There again now；〃 replied the pedagogue； 〃how fondly you fly
from him that would instruct you！ Truly said Quintilian〃
〃I pray； sir； let Quintilian be for the present； and answer； in a
word and in English； if your learning can condescend so far；
whether there is any place here where I can have opportunity to
refresh my horse until I can have him shod？〃
〃Thus much courtesy； sir；〃 said the schoolmaster； 〃I can readily
render you； that although there is in this poor hamlet （NOSTRA
PAUPERA REGNA） no regular HOSPITIUM； as my namesake Erasmus
calleth it； yet； forasmuch as you are somewhat embued； or at
least tinged； as it were； with good letters； I will use my
interest with the good woman of the house to accommodate you with
a platter of furmityan wholesome food for which I have found no
Latin phraseyour horse shall have a share of the cow…house；
with a bottle of sweet hay； in which the good woman Sludge so
much abounds； that it may be said of her cow； FAENUM HABET IN
CORNU； and if it please you to bestow on me the pleasure of your
company； the banquet shall cost you NE SEMISSEM QUIDEM； so much
is Gammer Sludge bound to me for the pains I have bestowed on the
top and bottom of her hopeful heir Dickie； whom I have painfully
made to travel through the accidence。〃
〃Now； God yield ye for it； Master Herasmus；〃 said the good
Gammer； 〃and grant that little Dickie may be the better for his
accident！ And for the rest； if the gentleman list to stay；
breakfast shall be on the board in the wringing of a dishclout；
and for horse…meat； and man's meat； I bear no such base mind as
to ask a penny。〃
Considering the state of his horse； Tressilian； upon the whole；
saw no better course than to accept the invitation thus learnedly
made and hospitably confirmed； and take chance that when the good
pedagogue had exhausted every topic of conversation； he might
possibly condescend to tell him where he could find the smith
they spoke of。 He entered the hut accordingly； and sat down with
the learned Magister Erasmus Holiday； partook of his furmity； and
listened to his learned account of himself for a good half hour；
ere he could get him to talk upon any other topic； The reader
will readily excuse our accompanying this man of learning into
all the details with which he favoured Tressilian； of which the
following sketch may suffice。
He was born at Hogsnorton； where； according to popular saying；
the pigs play upon the organ； a proverb which he interpreted
allegorically； as having reference to the herd of Epicurus； of
which litter Horace confessed himself a porker。 His name of
Erasmus he derived partly from his father having been the son of
a renowned washerwoman； who had held that great scholar in clean
linen all the while he was at Oxford； a task of some difficulty；
as he was only possessed of two shirts； 〃the one；〃 as she
expressed herself； 〃to wash the other；〃 The vestiges of one of
these CAMICIAE； as Master Holiday boasted； were still in his
possession； having fortunately been detained by his grandmother
to cover the balance of her bill。 But he thought there was a
still higher and overruling cause for his having had the name of
Erasmus conferred on himnamely； the secret presentiment of his
mother's mind that； in the babe to be christened； was a hidden
genius； which should one day lead him to rival the fame of the
great scholar of Amsterdam。 The schoolmaster's surname led him
as far into dissertation as his Christian appellative。 He was
inclined to think that he bore the name of Holiday QUASI LUCUS A
NON LUCENDO； because he gave such few holidays to his school。
〃Hence；〃 said he； 〃the schoolmaster is termed； classically； LUDI
MAGISTER； because he deprives boys of their play。〃 And yet； on
the other hand； he thought it might bear a very different
interpretation； and refer to his own exquisite art in arranging
pageants； morris…dances； May…day festivities； and such…like
holiday delights； for which he assured Tressilian he had
positively the purest and the most inventive brain in England；
insomuch； that his cunning in framing such pleasures had made him
known to many honourable persons； both in country and court； and
especially to the noble Earl of Leicester。 〃And although he may
now seem to forget me；〃 he said； 〃in the multitude of state
affairs； yet I am well assured that； had he some pretty pastime
to array for entertainment of the Queen's Grace； horse and man
would be seeking the humble cottage of Erasmus Holiday。 PARVO
CONTENTUS； in the meanwhile； I hear my pupils parse and construe；
worshipful sir； and drive away my time with the aid of the Muses。
And I have at all times； when in correspondence with foreign
scholars； subscribed myself Erasmus ab Die Fausto； and have
enjoyed the distinction due to the learned under that title：
witness the erudite Diedrichus Buckerschockius； who dedicated to
me under that title his treatise on the letter TAU。 In fine；
sir； I have been a happy and distinguished man。〃
〃Long may it be so； sir！〃 said the traveller； 〃but permit me to
ask； in your own learned phrase； QUID HOC AD IPHYCLI BOVES？ what
has all this to do with the shoeing of my poor nag？〃
〃FESTINA LENTE；〃 said the man of learning； 〃we will presently
came to that point。 You must know that some two or three years
past there came to these parts one who called himself Doctor
Doboobie； although it may be he never wrote even MAGISTER ARTIUM；
save in right of his hungry belly。 Or it may be； that if he had
any degrees； they were of the devil's giving； for he was what the
vulgar call a white witch； a cunning man； and such like。Now；
good sir； I perceive you are impatient； but if a man tell not his
tale his own way； how have you warrant to think that he can tell
it in yours？〃
〃Well； then； learned sir； take your way；〃 answered Tressilian；
〃only let us travel at a sharper pace； for my time is somewhat of
the shortest。〃
〃Well； sir；〃 resumed Erasmus Holiday； with the most provoking
perseverance； 〃I will not say that this same Demetrius for so he
wrote himself when in foreign parts； was an actual conjurer； but
certain it is that he professed to be a brother of the mystical
Order of the Rosy Cross； a disciple of Geber （EX NOMINE CUJUS
VENIT VERBUM VERNACULUM； GIBBERISH）。 He cured wounds by salving
the weapon instead of the sore； told fortunes by palmistry；
discovered stolen goods by the sieve and shears； gathered the
right maddow and the male fern seed； through use of which men
walk invisible； pretended some advances towards the panacea； or
universal elixir； and affected to convert good lead into sorry
silver。〃
〃In other words；〃 said Tressilian； 〃he was a quacksalver and
common cheat； but what has all this to do with my nag； and the
shoe which he has lost？〃
〃With your worshipful patience；〃 replied the diffusive man of
letters； 〃you shall understand that presentlyPATENTIA then；
right worshipful； which word； according to our Marcus Tullius； is
'DIFFICILIUM RERUM DIURNA PERPESSIO。' This same Demetrius
Doboobie； after dealing with the country； as I have told you；
began to acquire fame INTER MAGNATES； among the prime men of the
land； and there is likelihood he might have aspired to great
matters； had not； according to vulgar fame （for I aver not the
thing as according with my certain knowledge）； the devil claimed
his right； one dark night； and flown off with Demetrius； who was
never seen or heard of afterwards。 Now here comes the MEDULLA；
the very marrow； of my tale。 This Doctor Doboobie had a servant；
a poor snake； whom he employed in trimming his furnace；
regulating it by just measurecompounding his drugstracing his
circlescajoling his patients； ET SIC ET CAETERIS。 Well； right
worshipful； the Doctor being removed thus strangely； and in a way
which struck the whole country with terror； this poor Zany thinks
to himself； in the words of Maro； 'UNO AVULSO； NON DEFICIT
ALTER；' and； even as a tradesman's apprentice sets himself up in
his master's shop when he is dead or hath retired from business；
so doth this Wayland assume the dangerous trade of his defunct
master。 But although； most worshipful sir； the world is ever
prone to listen to the pretensions of such unworthy men； who are；
indeed；