contents of a casket in which drugs and perfumes were contained
in separate drawers。
〃It is a remedy； Madam； for a disorder of which I trust your
ladyship will never have reason to complain。 The amount of a
small turkey…bean； swallowed daily for a week； fortifies the
heart against those black vapours which arise from solitude；
melancholy； unrequited affection； disappointed hope〃
〃Are you a fool； friend？〃 said the Countess sharply； 〃or do you
think； because I have good…naturedly purchased your trumpery
goods at your roguish prices； that you may put any gullery you
will on me？ Who ever heard that affections of the heart were
cured by medicines given to the body？〃
〃Under your honourable favour；〃 said Wayland； 〃I am an honest
man； and I have sold my goods at an honest price。 As to this
most precious medicine； when I told its qualities； I asked you
not to purchase it； so why should I lie to you？ I say not it
will cure a rooted affection of the mind； which only God and time
can do； but I say that this restorative relieves the black
vapours which are engendered in the body of that melancholy which
broodeth on the mind。 I have relieved many with it； both in
court and city； and of late one Master Edmund Tressilian； a
worshipful gentleman in Cornwall； who； on some slight received；
it was told me； where he had set his affections； was brought into
that state of melancholy which made his friends alarmed for his
life。〃
He paused； and the lady remained silent for some time； and then
asked； with a voice which she strove in vain to render firm and
indifferent in its tone； 〃Is the gentleman you have mentioned
perfectly recovered？〃
〃Passably； madam；〃 answered Wayland； 〃he hath at least no bodily
complaint。〃
〃I will take some of the medicine； Janet；〃 said the Countess。 〃I
too have sometimes that dark melancholy which overclouds the
brain。〃
〃You shall not do so； madam；〃 said Janet； 〃who shall answer that
this fellow vends what is wholesome？〃
〃I will myself warrant my good faith；〃 said Wayland； and taking a
part of the medicine； he swallowed it before them。 The Countess
now bought what remained； a step to which Janet； by further
objections； only determined her the more obstinately。 She even
took the first dose upon the instant； and professed to feel her
heart lightened and her spirits augmenteda consequence which；
in all probability； existed only in her own imagination。 The
lady then piled the purchases she had made together； flung her
purse to Janet； and desired her to compute the amount； and to pay
the pedlar； while she herself； as if tired of the amusement she
at first found in conversing with him； wished him good evening；
and walked carelessly into the house； thus depriving Wayland of
every opportunity to speak with her in private。 He hastened；
however； to attempt an explanation with Janet。
〃Maiden；〃 he said； 〃thou hast the face of one who should love her
mistress。 She hath much need of faithful service。〃
〃And well deserves it at my hands；〃 replied Janet； 〃but
what of that？〃
〃Maiden； I am not altogether what I seem；〃 said the pedlar；
lowering his voice。
〃The less like to be an honest man；〃 said Janet。
〃The more so；〃 answered Wayland； 〃since I am no pedlar。〃
〃Get thee gone then instantly； or I will call for assistance；〃
said Janet； 〃my father must ere this be returned。〃
〃Do not be so rash；〃 said Wayland； 〃you will do what you may
repent of。 I am one of your mistress's friends； and she had need
of more； not that thou shouldst ruin those she hath。〃
〃How shall I know that？〃 said Janet。
〃Look me in the face；〃 said Wayland Smith； 〃and see if thou dost
not read honesty in my looks。〃
And in truth； though by no means handsome； there was in his
physiognomy the sharp； keen expression of inventive genius and
prompt intellect； which； joined to quick and brilliant eyes； a
well…formed mouth； and an intelligent smile； often gives grace
and interest to features which are both homely and irregular。
Janet looked at him with the sly simplicity of her sect； and
replied； 〃Notwithstanding thy boasted honesty； friend； and
although I am not accustomed to read and pass judgment on such
volumes as thou hast submitted to my perusal； I think I see in
thy countenance something of the pedlar…something of the
picaroon。〃
〃On a small scale； perhaps；〃 said Wayland Smith； laughing。 〃But
this evening； or to…morrow； will an old man come hither with thy
father； who has the stealthy step of the cat； the shrewd and
vindictive eye of the rat； the fawning wile of the spaniel； the
determined snatch of the mastiffof him beware； for your own
sake and that of your distress。 See you； fair Janet； he brings
the venom of the aspic under the assumed innocence of the dove。
What precise mischief he meditates towards you I cannot guess；
but death and disease have ever dogged his footsteps。 Say nought
of this to thy mistress； my art suggests to me that in her state
the fear of evil may be as dangerous as its operation。 But see
that she take my specific； for〃 （he lowered his voice； and spoke
low but impressively in her ear） 〃it is an antidote against
poison。Hark； they enter the garden！〃
In effect； a sound of noisy mirth and loud talking approached the
garden door； alarmed by which Wayland Smith sprung into the midst
of a thicket of overgrown shrubs； while Janet withdrew to the
garden…house that she might not incur observation； and that she
might at the same time conceal； at least for the present； the
purchases made from the supposed pedlar； which lay scattered on
the floor of the summer…house。
Janet； however； had no occasion for anxiety。 Her father； his old
attendant； Lord Leicester's domestic； and the astrologer； entered
the garden in tumult and in extreme perplexity； endeavouring to
quiet Lambourne； whose brain had now become completely fired with
liquor； and who was one of those unfortunate persons who； being
once stirred with the vinous stimulus； do not fall asleep like
other drunkards； but remain partially influenced by it for many
hours； until at length； by successive draughts； they are elevated
into a state of uncontrollable frenzy。 Like many men in this
state also； Lambourne neither lost the power of motion； speech；
or expression； but； on the contrary； spoke with unwonted emphasis
and readiness； and told all that at another time he would have
been most desirous to keep secret。
〃What！〃 ejaculated Michael； at the full extent of his voice； 〃am
I to have no welcome； no carouse； when I have brought fortune to
your old； ruinous dog…house in the shape of a devil's ally； that
can change slate…shivers into Spanish dollars？Here； you； Tony
Fire…the…Fagot； Papist； Puritan； hypocrite； miser； profligate；
devil； compounded of all men's sins； bow down and reverence him
who has brought into thy house the very mammon thou worshippest。〃
〃For God's sake；〃 said Foster； 〃speak lowcome into the house
thou shalt have wine； or whatever thou wilt。〃
〃No； old puckfoist； I will have it here；〃 thundered the
inebriated ruffian〃here； AL FRESCO； as the Italian hath it。 No；
no； I will not drink with that poisoning devil within doors； to
be choked with the fumes of arsenic and quick…silver； I learned
from villain Varney to beware of that。〃
〃Fetch him wine； in the name of all the fiends！〃 said the
alchemist。
〃Aha！ and thou wouldst spice it for me； old Truepenny； wouldst
thou not？ Ay； I should have copperas； and hellebore； and
vitriol； and aqua fortis； and twenty devilish materials bubbling
in my brain…pan like a charm to raise the devil in a witch's
cauldron。 Hand me the flask thyself； old Tony Fire…the…Fagotand
let it be coolI will have no wine mulled at the pile of the old
burnt bishops。 Or stay； let Leicester be king if he willgood
and Varney； villain Varney； grand vizierwhy； excellent！and
what shall I be； then？why； emperorEmperor Lambourne！ I will
see this choice piece of beauty that they have walled up here for
their private pleasures； I will have her this very night to serve
my wine…cup and put on my nightcap。 What should a fellow do with
two wives； were he twenty times an Earl？ Answer me that； Tony
boy； you old reprobate； hypocritical dog； whom God struck out of
the book of life； but tormented with the constant wish to be
restored to ityou old bishop…burning； blasphemous fanatic；
answer me that。〃
〃I will stick my knife to the haft in him；〃 said Foster； in a low
tone； which trembled with passion。
〃For the love of Heaven； no violence！〃 said the astrologer。 〃It
cannot but be looked closely into。Here； honest Lambourne； wilt
thou pledge me to the health of the noble Earl of Leicester and
Master Richard Varney？〃
〃I will； mine old AlbumazarI will； my trusty vender of
ratsbane。 I would kiss thee； mine honest infractor of the Lex
Julia （as they said at Leyden）； didst thou not flavour so
damnably of sulphur； and such fiendish apothecary's stuff。Here
goes it； up seyesto Varney and Leicester two more noble
mounting spiritsand more dark…seeking； deep…diving； high…
flying； malicious； ambitious miscreantswell； I say no more； but
I will whet my dagger on his heart…spone that refuses to pledge
me！ And so；