be anything more than a man who has succeeded in winning a knowledge
of his own powers out of the depths of the dark that lies behind us。
Of course I mean out of his past in other incarnations long before he
was Jorsen。 Moreover； by degrees； as I grew fit to bear the light； he
showed me something of my own； and of how the two were intertwined。
But all these things are secrets of which I have perhaps no right to
speak at present。 It is enough to say that Jorsen changed the current
of my life on that night when he saved me from death。
For instance； from that day onwards to the present time I have never
touched the drink which so nearly ruined me。 Also the darkness has
rolled away； and with it every doubt and fear； I know the truth； and
for that truth I live。 Considered from certain aspects such knowledge；
I admit； is not altogether desirable。 Thus it has deprived me of my
interest in earthly things。 Ambition has left me altogether； for years
I have had no wish to succeed in the profession which I adopted in my
youth； or in any other。 Indeed I doubt whether the elements of worldly
success still remain in me； whether they are not entirely burnt away
by that fire of wisdom in which I have bathed。 How can we strive to
win a crown we have no longer any desire to wear？ Now I desire other
crowns and at times I wear them； if only for a little while。 My spirit
grows and grows。 It is dragging at its strings。
What am I to look at？ A small； white…haired man with a thin and rather
plaintive face in which are set two large； dark eyes that continually
seem to soften and develop。 That is my picture。 And what am I in the
world？ I will tell you。 On certain days of the week I employ myself in
editing a trade journal that has to do with haberdashery。 On another
day I act as auctioneer to a firm which imports and sells cheap
Italian statuary； modern； very modern copies of the antique； florid
marble vases； and so forth。 Some of you who read may have passed such
marts in different parts of the city； or even have dropped in and
purchased a bust or a tazza for a surprisingly small sum。 Perhaps I
knocked it down to you； only too pleased to find a /bona fide/ bidder
amongst my company。
As for the rest of my timewell； I employ it in doing what good I can
among the poor and those who need comfort or who are bereaved；
especially among those who are bereaved； for to such I am sometimes
able to bring the breath of hope that blows from another shore。
Occasionally also I amuse myself in my own fashion。 Thus sure
knowledge has come to me about certain epochs in the past in which I
lived in other shapes； and I study those epochs； hoping that one day I
may find time to write of them and of the parts I played in them。 Some
of these parts are extremely interesting； especially as I am of course
able to contrast them with our modern modes of thought and action。
They do not all come back to me with equal clearness； the earlier
lives being； as one might expect； the more difficult to recover and
the comparatively recent ones the easiest。 Also they seem to range
over a vast stretch of time； back indeed to the days of primeval；
prehistoric man。 In short； I think the subconscious in some ways
resembles the conscious and natural memory； that which is very far off
to it grows dim and blurred； that which is comparatively close remains
clear and sharp； although of course this rule is not invariable。
Moreover there is foresight as well as memory。 At least from time to
time I seem to come in touch with future events and states of society
in which I shall have my share。
I believe some thinkers hold a theory that such conditions as those of
past； present； and future do not in fact exist； that everything
already is； standing like a completed column between earth and heaven；
that the sum is added up； the equation worked out。 At times I am
tempted to believe in the truth of this proposition。 But if it be
true； of course it remains difficult to obtain a clear view of other
parts of the column than that in which we happen to find ourselves
objectively conscious at any given period； and needless to say
impossible to see it from base to capital。
However this may be； no individual entity pervades all the column。
There are great sections of it with which that entity has nothing to
do； although it always seems to appear again above。 I suppose that
those sections which are empty of an individual and his atmosphere
represent the intervals between his lives which he spends in sleep； or
in states of existence with which this world is not concerned； but of
such gulfs of oblivion and states of being I know nothing。
To take a single instance of what I do know： once this spirit of mine；
that now by the workings of destiny for a little while occupies the
body of a fourth…rate auctioneer； and of the editor of a trade
journal； dwelt in that of a Pharaoh of Egyptnever mind which
Pharoah。 Yes； although you may laugh and think me mad to say it； for
me the legions fought and thundered； to me the peoples bowed and the
secret sanctuaries were opened that I and I alone might commune with
the gods； I who in the flesh and after it myself was worshipped as a
god。
Well； of this forgotten Royalty of whom little is known save what a
few inscriptions have to tell； there remains a portrait statue in the
British Museum。 Sometimes I go to look at that statue and try to
recall exactly under what circumstances I caused it to be shaped；
puzzling out the story bit by bit。
Not long ago I stood thus absorbed and did not notice that the hour of
the closing of the great gallery had come。 Still I stood and gazed and
dreamt till the policeman on duty； seeing and suspecting me； came up
and roughly ordered me to begone。
The man's tone angered me。 I laid my hand on the foot of the statue；
for it had just come back to me that it was a 〃Ka〃 image； a sacred
thing； any Egyptologist will know what I mean； which for ages had sat
in a chamber of my tomb。 Then the Ka that clings to it eternally awoke
at my touch and knew me； or so I suppose。 At least I felt myself
change。 A new strength came into me； my shape； battered in this
world's storms； put on something of its ancient dignity； my eyes grew
royal。 I looked at that man as Pharaoh may have looked at one who had
done him insult。 He saw the change and trembledyes； trembled。 I
believe he thought I was some imperial ghost that the shadows of
evening had caused him to mistake for man； at any rate he gasped out
〃I beg your pardon； I was obeying orders。 I hope your Majesty won't
hurt me。 Now I think of it I have been told that things come out of
these old statues in the night。〃
Then turning he ran； literally ran； where to I am sure I do not know；
probably to seek the fellowship of some other policeman。 In due course
I followed； and； lifting the bar at the end of the hall； departed
without further question asked。 Afterwards I was very glad to think
that I had done the man no injury。 At the moment I knew that I could
hurt him if I would； and what is more I had the desire to do so。 It
came to me； I suppose； with that breath of the past when I was so
great and absolute。 Perhaps I； or that part of me then incarnate； was
a tyrant in those days； and this is why now I must be so humble。 Fate
is turning my pride to its hammer and beating it out of me。
For thus in the long history of the soul it serves all our vices。
THE GREAT WHITE ROAD
Now； as I have hinted； under the teaching of Jorsen； who saved me from
degradation and self…murder； yes； and helped me with money until once
again I could earn a livelihood； I have acquired certain knowledge and
wisdom of a sort that are not common。 That is； Jorsen taught me the
elements of these things； he set my feet upon the path which
thenceforward； having the sight； I have been able to follow for
myself。 How I followed it does not matter； nor could I teach others if
I would。
I am no member of any mystic brotherhood； and； as I have explained； no
Mahatma； although I have called myself thus for present purposes
because the name is a convenient cloak。 I repeat that I am ignorant if
there are such people as Mahatmas； though if so I think Jorsen must be
one of them。 Still he never told me this。 What he has told is that
every individual spirit must work out its own destiny quite
independently of others。 Indeed； being rather fond of fine phrases； he
has sometimes spoken to me of； or rather； insisted upon what he called
〃the lonesome splendour of the human soul；〃 which it is our business
to perfect through various lives till I can scarcely appreciate and am
certainly unable to describe。
To tell the truth； the thought of this 〃lonesome splendour〃 to which
it seems some of us may attain； alarms me。 I have had enough of being
lonesome； and I do not ask for any particular splendour。 My only
ambitions are to find those whom I have lost； and in whatever life I
live to be of use to others。 However； as I gather that the exalted
condition to which Jorsen alludes is thousands of ages off for any of
us； and may after all mean something quite different to what it seems
to mean； the thought of it does not trouble me over