over and then last night you're sitting here crying。 And what？ None of it happened？ You just start all over like nothing happened？ With some womanizing punk？〃
〃Please leave my room。〃 I'd had enough。
〃Oh； no。〃 He began to pace； wagging his finger at me。 〃Oh； no。 I ain't going nowhere。 You want to fuck around with pretty boy； you can just do it in front of me。 'Cause guess why？ I'm not gonna let it happen。 Someone's got to do the right thing here； and looks like it's gonna be me。〃
He paced and paced； getting more livid with each word。 〃It's not about your letting or not letting something happen。〃 My fury was gathering。 〃Who the hell do you think you are； Marino？ Stay out of my life：〃
〃Well； poor Benton。 A damn good thing he's dead； huh？ Shows how much you loved him； all right。〃
He stopped pacing and jabbed his finger at my face。
〃And I thought you was different！ What was you doing when Benton wasn't looking？ That's what I want to know！ And all this time I'm feeling sorry for you！〃
〃Get out of my room now。〃 My self…control snapped。 〃You goddamn jealous son of a bitch！ How dare you even allude to my relationship with Benton。 What do you know？ Nothing； Marino。 He's dead； Marino。 He's been dead for over a year； Marino。 And I'm not dead and you're not dead。〃
〃Well； right now I wish you was。〃
〃You sound like Lucy when she was ten。〃
He stalked out and slammed the door so hard paintings shifted on the wall and the chandelier shook。 I picked up the phone and called the front desk。
〃Is there a Jay Talley in the lobby？〃 I asked。 〃Tall； dark； young。 Wearing a beige leather jacket； jeans？〃
〃Yes； I see him； madame。〃
Seconds later Talley was on the phone。
〃Marino just stormed out of here；〃 I said。 〃Don't let him see you； Jay。 He's crazy。〃
〃Actually； he's just getting off the elevator now。 And you're right。 He looks a little crazy。 Gotta go。〃
I ran out of my room。 I ran as fast as I could through the corridor and down the winding； carpeted steps； ignoring the odd stares I got from well…dressed； civilized people who walked at a leisurely pace and didn't get into fistfights in the Grand Hotel in Paris。 I slowed down when I reached the lobby； lungs burning and out of breath； and to my horror watched Marino taking swings at Talley while two bellmen and a valet tried to intervene。 A man at the registration desk frantically dialed the phone； probably calling the police。
〃Marino； no！〃 I said loudly and with authority as I hurried over to him。 〃Marino； no！〃 I grabbed his arm。
He was glassy…eyed and sweating profusely； and thank God he had no gun because I was afraid he might have used it just then。 I kept hold of his arm while Talley talked in French and gestured； assuring everyone there was no problem and not to call the police。 I led Marino by the hand through the lobby like a mother about to discipline a very bad little boy。 I escorted him past valets and expensive cars and out onto the sidewalk； where I stopped。
〃Do you have any idea what you're doing？〃 I asked him。
He wiped his face on the back of his hand。 He was breathing so hard he was wheezing。 It occurred to me he might have a heart attack。
〃Marino。〃 I shook his arm。 〃Listen to me。 What you just did in there is unconscionable。 Talley has done nothing to you。 I've done nothing to you。〃
〃Maybe I'm sticking up for Benton 'cause he ain't here to do it himself；〃 Marino said in a flat； worn…out voice。
〃No。 You were throwing punches at Carrie Grethen； at Joyce。 It's them you want to beat up； maim； kill。〃
He took deep； defeated breaths。
〃Don't you think I know what you're doing？〃 I …went on in an intense； quiet voice。
People were shadows drifting past us on the sidewalk。 Light spilled out of brasseries and cafés that were having busy nights； their small outdoor tables full。
〃You have to take it out on someone；〃 I went on。 〃That's the way it works。 And who is there to go after？ Carrie and Joyce are dead。〃
〃At least you and Lucy got to kill the motherfuckers。 Shoot their goddamn asses out of the air。〃 Marino began to sob。
〃e on；〃 I said。
I took his arm in mine and we started walking。
〃I had nothing to do with killing them；〃 I said。 〃Not that I would have hesitated； Marino。 But Lucy pulled the trigger。 And you know what？ She doesn't feel the better for it。 She still hates and simmers and beats and shoots her way through life。 She'll have her day of reckoning； too。 And this is yours。 Let it go。〃 ；
〃Why did'ya have to go and do that with him？〃 he asked in a small； pained voice as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve。 〃How e； Doc？ Why him？〃
〃There's no one good enough for me； is that it？〃 I said。
He had to think about that。
〃And there's no one good enough for you。 No one as good as Doris。 When she divorced you； that was hard； wasn't it？ And I've never thought any woman you've been with since is even close to what she was。 But we have to try； Marino。 We have to live。〃
〃Yeah； and they all dumped me； too。 Those women who ain't good enough for me。〃
〃They dumped you because they're bowling…alley bimbos。〃
He smiled in the dark。
37
The streets of Paris were waking up and getting lively as Talley and I walked to the Café Runtz。 The air was cool and felt good on my face； but I was anxious and full of doubt again。 I wished I'd never e to France。 When we crossed the Place de I'Opém and he reached for my hand； I wished I had never met Jay Talley。
His fingers were warm and strong and slender； and I never expected that such a gentle form of affection would jolt and revulse me when what we'd done in my room hours earlier had not。 I felt ashamed of myself。
〃I want you to know this matters to me；〃 he said。 〃I don't have flings； Kay。 I'm not into one…night stands。 It's important you know that。〃
〃Don't fall in love with me； Jay。〃 I looked up at him。
His silence said everything about how thosé words made him feel。
〃Jay； I'm not saying I don't care。〃
〃You'll really like this café；〃 he said。 〃It's a secret。 You'll see。 No one in here speaks anything but French and if you don't speak French； you have to point on the menu or get out your little dictionary； and the owner will be amused by you。 Odette is very no…nonsense but very nice。〃
I was scarcely hearing a word。
〃She and I have a détente。 If she's pleasant； I patronize her establishment。 If I'm pleasant； she lets me patronize her establishment。〃
〃I want you to listen to me；〃 I said； slipping my hand up his arm and leaning against it。 〃The last thing I ever want to do is hurt anyone。 I didn't want to hurt you。 And I already have。〃
〃How could I feel hurt？ This afternoon was incredible。〃
〃Yes； it was；〃 I said。 〃But。 。 。〃
He stopped on the sidewalk and looked into my eyes as people flowed around us and light from shops unevenly shoved back the night。 I was raw and alive where he had touched me。
〃I didn't ask you to love me；〃 he said。
〃That's not something you should have to ask。〃
We started walking again。
〃I know it's not something you freely offer； Kay；〃 he said。 〃Love is your loup…garou。 The monster you fear。 And I can see why。 It's tracked you down and hurt you all your life。〃
〃Don't try to psychoanalyze me。 Don't try to change me； Jay。〃
People bumped us as they jostled past。
Several teenagers with body piercing and dyed hair bumped into us and laughed。 A small crowd was staring and pointing at an almost life…size yellow biplane attached to the side of the Grand Marnier building advertising a Breiding watch show。 Roasting chestnuts smelled burnt。
〃I've not touched anyone since Benton died；〃 I said。 〃That's where you are in my food chain； Jay。〃
〃I wasn't trying to be cruel ： 。 。〃
〃I'll fly home in the morning。〃
〃I wish you wouldn't。〃
〃I have a mission； remember？〃 I said。
Anger slipped out of hiding； and when Talley tried to hold my hand again； I slipped my fingers away from him。
〃Or should I say I'll sneak home in the morning；〃 I said。 〃With a briefcase of illegal evidence that's also； by the way； a biological hazard。 I'll follow my orders； trooper that I am； and get DNA from the swabs if possible。 pare it to the unidentified body's DNA。 Eventually determine that he and the killer are brothers。 Meanwhile； maybe the cops will luck out and find a werewolf wandering the streets and he'll tell you guys everything about the Chandonne cartel。 And maybe only two or three other women will be savaged before all this happens。〃
〃Please don't be so bitter；〃 Jay said。
〃Bitter？ I shouldn't be bitter？〃
We turned off the Boulevard des Italiens onto the Rue Favard。
〃I shouldn't be bitter when I was sent here to solve problems…when I've been a pawn in some scheme I knew nothing about？〃
〃I'm sorry you look at it that way；〃 he said。
〃We're bad for each other；〃 I said。
Café Runtz was small and quiet； with green checked cloths and green glassware。 Red lamps glowed and the chandelier was red。 Odette was making a drink at the bar when we walked in。 Her way of greeting Talley was to throw her hands up in despair and chastise him。
〃She's accusing