lying by the fire with the flesh all eaten off them？ Are the
under…rangers allowed not only to wear the forbidden dress but to
eat the King's quails as well？〃
The form in which the question was asked gave my father his cue。
He laughed heartily； and said； 〃Why； sir； those plucked birds are
landrails； not quails； and those bones are landrail bones。 Look at
this thigh…bone； was there ever a quail with such a bone as that？〃
I cannot say whether or no Professor Panky was really deceived by
the sweet effrontery with which my father proffered him the bone。
If he was taken in； his answer was dictated simply by a donnish
unwillingness to allow any one to be better informed on any subject
than he was himself。
My father； when I suggested this to him； would not hear of it。 〃Oh
no；〃 he said； 〃the man knew well enough that I was lying。〃 However
this may be； the Professor's manner changed。
〃You are right；〃 he said； 〃I thought they were landrail bones； but
was not sure till I had one in my hand。 I see； too； that the
plucked birds are landrails； but there is little light； and I have
not often seen them without their feathers。〃
〃I think；〃 said my father to me； 〃that Hanky knew what his friend
meant； for he said； 'Panky； I am very hungry。'〃
〃Oh； Hanky； Hanky；〃 said the other； modulating his harsh voice till
it was quite pleasant。 〃Don't corrupt the poor man。〃
〃Panky； drop that； we are not at Bridgeford now； I am very hungry；
and I believe half those birds are not quails but landrails。〃
My father saw he was safe。 He said； 〃Perhaps some of them might
prove to be so； sir； under certain circumstances。 I am a poor man；
sir。〃
〃Come； come；〃 said Hanky； and he slipped a sum equal to about half…
a…crown into my father's hand。
〃I do not know what you mean； sir；〃 said my father； 〃and if I did；
half…a…crown would not be nearly enough。〃
〃Hanky；〃 said Panky； 〃you must get this fellow to give you
lessons。〃
CHAPTER IV： MY FATHER OVERHEARS MORE OF HANKY AND PANKY'S
CONVERSATION
My father； schooled under adversity； knew that it was never well to
press advantage too far。 He took the equivalent of five shillings
for three brace； which was somewhat less than the birds would have
been worth when things were as he had known them。 Moreover； he
consented to take a shilling's worth of Musical Bank money； which
（as he has explained in his book） has no appreciable value outside
these banks。 He did this because he knew that it would be
respectable to be seen carrying a little Musical Bank money； and
also because he wished to give some of it to the British Museum；
where he knew that this curious coinage was unrepresented。 But the
coins struck him as being much thinner and smaller than he had
remembered them。
It was Panky； not Hanky； who had given him the Musical Bank money。
Panky was the greater humbug of the two； for he would humbug even
himselfa thing； by the way； not very hard to do； and yet he was
the less successful humbug； for he could humbug no one who was
worth humbuggingnot for long。 Hanky's occasional frankness put
people off their guard。 He was the mere common； superficial；
perfunctory Professor； who； being a Professor； would of course
profess； but would not lie more than was in the bond； he was log…
rolled and log…rolling； but still； in a robust wolfish fashion；
human。
Panky； on the other hand； was hardly human； he had thrown himself
so earnestly into his work； that he had become a living lie。 If he
had had to play the part of Othello he would have blacked himself
all over； and very likely smothered his Desdemona in good earnest。
Hanky would hardly have blacked himself behind the ears； and his
Desdemona would have been quite safe。
Philosophers are like quails in the respect that they can take two
or three flights of imagination； but rarely more without an
interval of repose。 The Professors had imagined my father to be a
poacher and a ranger； they had imagined the quails to be wanted for
Sunday's banquet； they had imagined that they imagined （at least
Panky had） that they were about to eat landrails； they were now
exhausted； and cowered down into the grass of their ordinary
conversation； paying no more attention to my father than if he had
been a log。 He； poor man； drank in every word they said； while
seemingly intent on nothing but his quails； each one of which he
cut up with a knife borrowed from Hanky。 Two had been plucked
already； so he laid these at once upon the clear embers。
〃I do not know what we are to do with ourselves；〃 said Hanky； 〃till
Sunday。 To…day is Thursdayit is the twenty…ninth； is it not？
Yes； of course it isSunday is the first。 Besides； it is on our
permit。 To…morrow we can rest； what； I wonder； can we do on
Saturday？ But the others will be here then； and we can tell them
about the statues。〃
〃Yes； but mind you do not blurt out anything about the landrails。〃
〃I think we may tell Dr。 Downie。〃
〃Tell nobody；〃 said Panky。
They then talked about the statues； concerning which it was plain
that nothing was known。 But my father soon broke in upon their
conversation with the first instalment of quails； which a few
minutes had sufficed to cook。
〃What a delicious bird a quail is；〃 said Hanky。
〃Landrail； Hanky； landrail；〃 said the other reproachfully。
Having finished the first birds in a very few minutes they returned
to the statues。
〃Old Mrs。 Nosnibor；〃 said Panky； 〃says the Sunchild told her they
were symbolic of ten tribes who had incurred the displeasure of the
sun； his father。〃
I make no comment on my father's feelings。
〃Of the sun！ his fiddlesticks' ends；〃 retorted Hanky。 〃He never
called the sun his father。 Besides； from all I have heard about
him； I take it he was a precious idiot。〃
〃O Hanky； Hanky！ you will wreck the whole thing if you ever allow
yourself to talk in that way。〃
〃You are more likely to wreck it yourself； Panky； by never doing
so。 People like being deceived； but they like also to have an
inkling of their own deception； and you never inkle them。〃
〃The Queen；〃 said Panky； returning to the statues； 〃sticks to it
that 。 。 。 〃
〃Here comes another bird；〃 interrupted Hanky； 〃never mind about the
Queen。〃
The bird was soon eaten； whereon Panky again took up his parable
about the Queen。
〃The Queen says they are connected with the cult of the ancient
Goddess Kiss…me…quick。〃
〃What if they are？ But the Queen sees Kiss…me…quick in everything。
Another quail； if you please； Mr。 Ranger。〃
My father brought up another bird almost directly。 Silence while
it was being eaten。
〃Talking of the Sunchild；〃 said Panky； 〃did you ever see him？〃
〃Never set eyes on him； and hope I never shall。〃
And so on till the last bird was eaten。
〃Fellow；〃 said Panky； 〃fetch some more wood； the fire is nearly
dead。〃
〃I can find no more； sir；〃 said my father； who was afraid lest some
genuine ranger might be attracted by the light； and was determined
to let it go out as soon as he had done cooking。
〃Never mind；〃 said Hanky； 〃the moon will be up soon。〃
〃And now； Hanky；〃 said Panky； 〃tell me what you propose to say on
Sunday。 I suppose you have pretty well made up your mind about it
by this time。〃
〃Pretty nearly。 I shall keep it much on the usual lines。 I shall
dwell upon the benighted state from which the Sunchild rescued us；
and shall show how the Musical Banks； by at once taking up the
movement； have been the blessed means of its now almost universal
success。 I shall talk about the immortal glory shed upon
Sunch'ston by the Sun…child's residence in the prison； and wind up
with the Sunchild Evidence Society； and an earnest appeal for funds
to endow the canonries required for the due service of the temple。〃
〃Temple！ what temple？〃 groaned my father inwardly。
〃And what are you going to do about the four black and white
horses？〃
〃Stick to them； of courseunless I make them six。〃
〃I really do not see why they might not have been horses。〃
〃I dare say you do not；〃 returned the other drily； 〃but they were
black and white storks； and you know that as well as I do。 Still；
they have caught on； and they are in the altar…piece； prancing and
curvetting magnificently； so I shall trot them out。〃
〃Altar…piece！ Altar…piece！〃 again groaned my father inwardly。
He need not have groaned； for when he came to see the so…called
altar…piece he found that the table above which it was placed had
nothing in common with the altar in a Christian church。 It was a
mere table； on which were placed two bowls full of Musical Bank
coins； two cashiers； who sat on either side of it； dispensed a few
of these to all comers； while there was a box in front of it
wherein people deposited coin of the realm according to their will
or ability。 The idea of sacrifice was not contemplated； and the
position of the table； as well as the name given to it； was an
instance of the way in which the Erewhonians had caught names and
practices from my father； without understanding what they either
were or meant。 So； again； when Professor Hanky had spoken of
canonries； he had none but the vaguest idea of what a canonry is。
I may add further that as