nly got a licking when they sassed or got three wrong answers in a row。 But Thrower took his cane to Alvin Junior every chance he got； it seemed like； and it wasn't over book…learning； it was always about religion。
Of course it didn't help much that the Bible kept striking Alvin funny at all the wrong times。 That's what Measure said； the time that Alvin ran away from school and hid in David's house till Measure found him nigh onto suppertime。 〃If you just didn't laugh when he reads from the Bible； you wouldn't get whupped so much。〃
But it was funny。 When Jonathan shot all those arrows in the sky and they missed。 When Jeroboam didn't shoot enough arrows out his window。 When Pharaoh kept finding tricky ways to keep the Israelites from leaving。 When Samson was so dumb he told his secret to Delilah after she already betrayed him twice。 〃How can I keep from laughing？〃
〃Just think about getting blisters on your butt；〃 said Measure。 〃That ought to take the smile off your face。〃
〃But I never remember till after I already laughed。〃
〃Then you'll probably never need a chair till you're fifteen years old；〃 said Measure。 〃Cause Mama won't ever let you out of that school； and Thrower won't ever let up on you； and you can't hide in David's house forever。〃
〃Why not？〃
〃Because hiding from your enemy is the same as letting him win。〃
So Measure wouldn't keep him safe； and he had to go back and take a licking from Pa； too； for scaring everybody by running away and hiding so long。 Still； Measure had helped him。 It was a fort to know that somebody else was willing to say that Thrower was his enemy。 All the others were so full of how wonderful and godly and educated Thrower was； and how kind he was to teach the children from his fount of wisdom； that it like to made Alvin puke。
Even though Alvin mostly kept his face under control during school； and so got less lickings； Sunday was the most terrible struggle of all； because he sat there on that hard bench listening to Thrower； half the time wanting to bust out laughing till he fell on the floor； and half the time wanting to stand up and shout； 〃That's just about the stupidest thing I ever heard a growed man say！〃 He even had a feeling Pa wouldn't lick him very hard for saying that to Thrower； since Pa never had much of an opinion of the man。 But Mama she'd never forgive him for doing blasphemy in the house of the Lord。
Sunday morning； he decided； is designed to let sinners have a sample of the first day of eternity in hell。
Probably Mama wouldn't even let Taleswapper tell so much as the tiniest story today； lessen it came from the Bible。 And since Taleswapper never seemed to tell stories from the Bible； Alvin Junior guessed that nothing good would e today。
Mama's voice blasted up the stairs。 〃Alvin Junior； I'm so sick and tired of you taking three hours to get dressed on Sunday morning that I'm about to take you to church naked！〃
〃I ain't naked！〃 Alvin shouted down。 But since what he was wearing was his nightgown； it was probably worse than being naked。 He shucked off the flannel nightgown； hung it on a peg； and started dressing as fast as he could。
It was funny。 On any other day； he only had to reach out for his clothes without even thinking； and they'd be there； just the piece he wanted。 Shirt； trousers； stockings； shoes。 Always there in his hand when he reached。 But on Sunday morning； it was like the clothes ran away from his hand。 He'd go for his shirt and e back with his pants。 He'd reach for a sock and e up with a shoe； time after time。 It was like as if the clothes didn't want to get put on his body any more than he wanted them there。
So when Mama banged open the door； it wasn't altogether Alvin's fault that he didn't even have his pants on yet。
〃You've missed breakfast！ You're still half…naked！ If you think I'm going to make the whole family parade into church late on account of you； you've got〃
〃Another think ing；〃 said Alvin。
It wasn't his fault that she always said the same thing。 But she got mad at him as if he should have pretended to be surprised to hear her say it for the ninetieth time since summer。 Oh； she was all set to give him a licking； all right； or call for Pa to do it even worse； when there was Taleswapper； e to save him。
〃Goody Faith；〃 said Taleswapper； 〃I'd be glad to see to it he es to church； if you want to go on ahead with the others。〃
The minute Taleswapper spoke； Mama whirled around and tried to hide how mad she'd been。 Alvin right away started doing a calming on her with his right hand； where she couldn't see it； since if she saw him doing a spell on her； she'd break his arm； and that was one threat Alvin Junior truly believed。 A calming didn't work so well without touching； but since she was trying so hard to look calm in front of Taleswapper； it worked all right。
〃I hate to put you to any trouble；〃 said Mama。
〃No trouble； Goody Faith；〃 said Taleswapper。 〃I do little enough to repay your kindness to me。〃
〃Little enough！〃 The fretfulness was almost gone from Mama's voice now。 〃Why； my husband says you do the work of two grown men。 And when you tell stories to the little ones I get more peace and quiet in this house than I've had since since ever。〃 She turned back to Alvin； but now her anger was more an act than real。 〃Will you do what Taleswapper tells you； and e to church right quick？〃
〃Yes； Mama；〃 said Alvin Junior。 〃Quick as I can。〃
〃All right then。 Thank you kindly； Taleswapper。 If you can get that boy to obey； that's more than anybody else has managed since he learned to talk。〃
〃He's a real brat；〃 said Mary； from the hallway outside。
〃Shut your mouth； Mary；〃 Mama said； 〃or I'll stuff your lower lip up your nose and tack it there to keep it shut。〃
Alvin sighed in relief。 When Mama made impossible threats it meant she wasn't all that angry anymore。 Mary put her nose in the air and flounced down the hall； but Alvin didn't even bother with it。 He just grinned at Taleswapper； and Taleswapper grinned at him。
〃Having trouble getting dressed for church； lad？〃 asked Taleswapper。
〃I'd rather dress myself in lard and walk through a herd of hungry bears；〃 said Alvin Junior。
〃More people live through church than survive encounters with bears。〃
〃Not by much； though。〃
Soon enough he got dressed。 But he was able to talk Taleswapper into taking the shortcut； which meant walking through the woods up over the hill behind the house； instead of going around by way of the road。 Since it was right cold outside； and hadn't rained in a while； and wasn't about to snow yet； there'd be no mud and Mama'd probably not even guess。 And what Mama didn't know wouldn't hurt him。
〃I noticed；〃 said Taleswapper as they climbed up the leaf…covered slope； 〃that your father didn't go with your mother and Cally and the girls。〃
〃He doesn't go to that church；〃 said Alvin。 〃He says Reverend Thrower is a jackass。 Course； he don't say that where Mama can hear。〃
〃I suppose not；〃 said Taleswapper。
They stood at the top of the hill； looking down across open meadowland toward the church。 The church's own hill hid the town of Vigor Church from view。 The frost was just beginning to melt off the brown autumn grass； so that the church looked to be the whitest thing in a world of whiteness； and the sun flashed on it like it was another sun。 Alvin could see wagons still pulling into place； and horses being tied to the posts on the meadow。 If they hurried right now； they'd probably be in their places before Reverend Thrower started up the hymn。
But Taleswapper didn't start down the hill。 He just set himself on a stump and started to recite a poem。 Alvin listened tight； because Taleswapper's poems often had a real bite to them。
〃I went to the Garden of Love； And saw what I never had seen： A chapel was built in the midst； Where I used to play on the green。
〃And the gates of this chapel were shut； And 'Thou shalt not' writ over the door； So I turned to the Garden of Love； That so many sweet flowers bore；
〃And I saw it was filled with graves； And tomb…stones where flowers should be。 And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds； And binding with briars my joys and desires。〃
Oh； Taleswapper had a knack； he did； for as he recited； the very world changed before Alvin's eyes。 The meadows and trees looked like the loudest shout of spring； vivid yellow…green with ten thousand blossoms； and the white of the chapel in the midst of it was no longer gleaming； but instead the dusty； chalky white of old bones。 〃Binding with briars my joys and desires；〃 Alvin repeated。 〃You ain't got much use for religion。〃
〃I breathe religion with my every breath；〃 said the Taleswapper。 〃I long for visions； I search for the traces of God's hand。 But in this world I see more traces of the other。 A trail of glistening slime that burns me when I touch it。 God is a bit standoffish these days； Al Junior； but Satan has no fear of getting down in the muck with mankind。〃
〃Thrower says his church is the house of God。〃
Taleswapper； he just sat there and said nothing for the longest time。
Finally Alvin asked him right out： 〃Have you seen de