park and garden are now in rather a faded condition；
and not more than ten times big enough to accommodate
the Court of the reigning Sovereign。
The gardens were arranged to emulate those of
Versailles； and amidst the terraces and groves there are
some huge allegorical waterworks still； which spout and
froth stupendously upon fete…days； and frighten one
with their enormous aquatic insurrections。 There is the
Trophonius' cave in which； by some artifice； the leaden
Tritons are made not only to spout water； but to play
the most dreadful groans out of their lead conchsthere
is the nymphbath and the Niagara cataract； which the
people of the neighbourhood admire beyond expression；
when they come to the yearly fair at the opening of the
Chamber； or to the fetes with which the happy little nation
still celebrates the birthdays and marriage…days of its
princely governors。
Then from all the towns of the Duchy； which stretches
for nearly ten milefrom Bolkum； which lies on
its western frontier bidding defiance to Prussia； from
Grogwitz； where the Prince has a hunting…lodge； and
where his dominions are separated by the Pump River
from those of the neighbouring Prince of Potzenthal； from
all the little villages； which besides these three great
cities； dot over the happy principalityfrom the farms
and the mills along the Pump come troops of people in
red petticoats and velvet head…dresses； or with three…
cornered hats and pipes in their mouths； who flock to the
Residenz and share in the pleasures of the fair and the
festivities there。 Then the theatre is open for nothing；
then the waters of Monblaisir begin to play （it is lucky
that there is company to behold them； for one would be
afraid to see them alone）then there come mountebanks
and riding troops （the way in which his Transparency
was fascinated by one of the horse…riders is well known；
and it is believed that La Petite Vivandiere； as she was
called； was a spy in the French interest）； and the delighted
people are permitted to march through room after room
of the Grand Ducal palace and admire the slippery
floor； the rich hangings； and the spittoons at the
doors of all the innumerable chambers。 There is one
Pavilion at Monblaisir which Aurelius Victor XV had
arrangeda great Prince but too fond of pleasureand
which I am told is a perfect wonder of licentious elegance。
It is painted with the story of Bacchus and Ariadne； and
the table works in and out of the room by means of a
windlass； so that the company was served without any
intervention of domestics。 But the place was shut up by
Barbara； Aurelius XV's widow； a severe and devout
Princess of the House of Bolkum and Regent of the Duchy
during her son's glorious minority； and after the death
of her husband； cut off in the pride of his pleasures。
The theatre of Pumpernickel is known and famous in
that quarter of Germany。 It languished a little when the
present Duke in his youth insisted upon having his own
operas played there； and it is said one day； in a fury；
from his place in the orchestra； when he attended a
rehearsal； broke a bassoon on the head of the Chapel
Master； who was conducting； and led too slow； and during
which time the Duchess Sophia wrote domestic comedies；
which must have been very dreary to witness。 But the
Prince executes his music in private now； and the Duchess
only gives away her plays to the foreigners of distinction
who visit her kind little Court。
It is conducted with no small comfort and splendour。
When there are balls； though there may be four
hundred people at supper； there is a servant in scarlet and
lace to attend upon every four； and every one is served
on silver。 There are festivals and entertainments going
continually on； and the Duke has his chamberlains and
equerries； and the Duchess her mistress of the wardrobe
and ladies of honour； just like any other and more
potent potentates。
The Constitution is or was a moderate despotism；
tempered by a Chamber that might or might not be
elected。 I never certainly could hear of its sitting in my time
at Pumpernickel。 The Prime Minister had lodgings in a
second floor； and the Foreign Secretary occupied the
comfortable lodgings over Zwieback's Conditorey。 The
army consisted of a magnificent band that also did duty
on the stage； where it was quite pleasant to see the
worthy fellows marching in Turkish dresses with rouge on
and wooden scimitars； or as Roman warriors with
ophicleides and trombonesto see them again； I say； at
night； after one had listened to them all the morning in
the Aurelius Platz； where they performed opposite the
cafe where we breakfasted。 Besides the band； there was
a rich and numerous staff of officers； and； I believe； a
few men。 Besides the regular sentries； three or four men；
habited as hussars； used to do duty at the Palace； but I
never saw them on horseback； and au fait； what was the
use of cavalry in a time of profound peace？and whither
the deuce should the hussars ride？
Everybodyeverybody that was noble of course； for
as for the bourgeois we could not quite be expected to
take notice of THEMvisited his neighbour。 H。 E。 Madame
de Burst received once a week； H。 E。 Madame de
Schnurrbart had her nightthe theatre was open twice
a week； the Court graciously received once； so that a
man's life might in fact be a perfect round of pleasure in
the unpretending Pumpernickel way。
That there were feuds in the place； no one can deny。
Politics ran very high at Pumpernickel； and parties were
very bitter。 There was the Strumpff faction and the
Lederlung party； the one supported by our envoy and the
other by the French Charge d'Affaires； M。 de Macabau。
Indeed it sufficed for our Minister to stand up for
Madame Strumpff； who was clearly the greater singer of the
two； and had three more notes in her voice than Madame
Lederlung her rivalit sufficed； I say； for our Minister to
advance any opinion to have it instantly contradicted
by the French diplomatist。
Everybody in the town was ranged in one or other of
these factions。 The Lederlung was a prettyish little
creature certainly； and her voice （what there was of it） was
very sweet； and there is no doubt that the Strumpff was
not in her first youth and beauty； and certainly too stout；
when she came on in the last scene of the Sonnambula；
for instance； in her night…chemise with a lamp in her
hand； and had to go out of the window； and pass over
the plank of the mill； it was all she could do to
squeeze out of the window； and the plank used to bend
and creak again under her weightbut how she poured
out the finale of the opera！ and with what a burst of
feeling she rushed into Elvino's armsalmost fit to
smother him！ Whereas the little Lederlungbut a truce
to this gossipthe fact is that these two women were
the two flags of the French and the English party at
Pumpernickel； and the society was divided in its
allegiance to those two great nations。
We had on our side the Home Minister； the Master of
the Horse； the Duke's Private Secretary； and the Prince's
Tutor； whereas of the French party were the Foreign
Minister； the Commander…in…Chief's Lady； who had
served under Napoleon； and the Hof…Marschall and his
wife； who was glad enough to get the fashions from
Pans； and always had them and her caps by M。 de
Macabau's courier。 The Secretary of his Chancery was little
Grignac； a young fellow； as malicious as Satan； and who
made caricatures of Tapeworm in all the…albums of the
place。
Their headquarters and table d'hote were established
at the Pariser Hof； the other inn of the town； and though；
of course； these gentlemen were obliged to be civil in
public； yet they cut at each other with epigrams that
were as sharp as razors； as I have seen a couple of
wrestlers in Devonshire； lashing at each other's shins
and never showing their agony upon a muscle of their
faces。 Neither Tapeworm nor Macabau ever sent home
a dispatch to his government without a most savage
series of attacks upon his rival。 For instance； on our side
we would write； 〃The interests of Great Britain in this
place； and throughout the whole of Germany； are perilled
by the continuance in office of the present French envoy；
this man is of a character so infamous that he will stick
at no falsehood； or hesitate at no crime； to attain his
ends。 He poisons the mind of the Court against the
English minister； represents the conduct of Great Britain in
the most odious and atrocious light； and is unhappily
backed by a minister whose ignorance and necessities
are as notorious as his influence is fatal。〃 On their side
they would。say； 〃M。 de Tapeworm continues his
system of stupid insular arrogance and vulgar falsehood
against the greatest nation in the world。 Yesterday he
was heard to speak lightly of Her Royal Highness Madame
the Duchess of Berri； on a former occasion he insulted
the heroic Duke of Angouleme and dared to insinuate
that H。R。H。 the Duke of Orleans was conspiring against
the august throne of the lilies。 His gold is prodigated in
every direction which his stupid menaces fail to frighten。
By one and the other； he has won over creatures of the
Court hereand； in fine； Pumpernickel will