《classic mystery and detective stories》

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into our own hands。〃



〃But; the servants;〃 said I。



〃Have no servants;〃 said my sister; boldly。



Like most people in my grade of life; I had never thought of the

possibility of going on without those faithful obstructions。  The

notion was so new to me when suggested; that I looked very

doubtful。



〃We know they come here to be frightened and infect one another;

and we know they are frightened and do infect one another;〃 said my

sister。



〃With the exception of Bottles;〃 I observed; in a meditative tone。



(The deaf stable…man。  I kept him in my service; and still keep

him; as a phenomenon of moroseness not to be matched in England。)



〃To be sure; John;〃 assented my sister; 〃except Bottles。  And what

does that go to prove?  Bottles talks to nobody; and hears nobody

unless he is absolutely roared at; and what alarm has Bottles ever

given; or taken?  None。〃



This was perfectly true; the individual in question having retired;

every night at ten o'clock; to his bed over the coach…house; with

no other company than a pitchfork and a pail of water。  That the

pail of water would have been over me; and the pitchfork through

me; if I had put myself without announcement in Bottles's way after

that minute; I had deposited in my own mind as a fact worth

remembering。  Neither had Bottles ever taken the least notice of

any of our many uproars。  An imperturbable and speechless man; he

had sat at his supper; with Streaker present in a swoon; and the

Odd Girl marble; and had only put another potato in his cheek; or

profited by the general misery to help himself to beefsteak pie。



〃And so;〃 continued my sister; 〃I exempt Bottles。  And considering;

John; that the house is too large; and perhaps too lonely; to be

kept well in hand by Bottles; you; and me; I propose that we cast

about among our friends for a certain selected number of the most

reliable and willingform a Society here for three monthswait

upon ourselves and one anotherlive cheerfully and sociallyand

see what happens。〃



I was so charmed with my sister; that I embraced her on the spot;

and went into her plan with the greatest ardor。



We were then in the third week of November; but; we took our

measures so vigorously; and were so well seconded by the friends in

whom we confided; that there was still a week of the month

unexpired; when our party all came down together merrily; and

mustered in the haunted house。



I will mention; in this place; two small changes that I made while

my sister and I were yet alone。  It occurring to me as not

improbable that Turk howled in the house at night; partly because

he wanted to get out of it; I stationed him in his kennel outside;

but unchained; and I seriously warned the village that any man who

came in his way must not expect to leave him without a rip in his

own throat。  I then casually asked Ikey if he were a judge of a

gun?  On his saying; 〃Yes; sir; I knows a good gun when I sees

her;〃 I begged the favor of his stepping up to the house and

looking at mine。



〃SHE'S a true one; sir;〃 said Ikey; after inspecting a double…

barrelled rifle that I bought in New York a few years ago。  〃No

mistake about HER; sir。〃



〃Ikey;〃 said I; 〃don't mention it; I have seen something in this

house。〃



〃No; sir?〃 he whispered; greedily opening his eyes。  〃'Ooded lady;

sir?〃



〃Don't be frightened;〃 said I。  〃It was a figure rather like you。〃



〃Lord; sir?〃



〃Ikey!〃 said I; shaking hands with him warmly; I may say

affectionately; 〃if there is any truth in these ghost…stories; the

greatest service I can do you; is; to fire at that figure。  And I

promise you; by Heaven and earth; I will do it with this gun if I

see it again!〃



The young man thanked me; and took his leave with some little

precipitation; after declining a glass of liquor。  I imparted my

secret to him; because I had never quite forgotten his throwing his

cap at the bell; because I had; on another occasion; noticed

something very like a fur cap; lying not far from the bell; one

night when it had burst out ringing; and because I had remarked

that we were at our ghostliest whenever he came up in the evening

to comfort the servants。  Let me do Ikey no injustice。  He was

afraid of the house; and believed in its being haunted; and yet he

would play false on the haunting side; so surely as he got an

opportunity。 The Odd Girl's case was exactly similar。  She went

about the house in a state of real terror; and yet lied monstrously

and wilfully; and invented many of the alarms she spread; and made

many of the sounds we heard。  I had had my eye on the two; and I

know it。  It is not necessary for me; here; to account for this

preposterous state of mind; I content myself with remarking that it

is familiarly known to every intelligent man who has had fair

medical; legal; or other watchful experience; that it is as well

established and as common a state of mind as any with which

observers are acquainted; and that it is one of the first elements;

above all others; rationally to be suspected in; and strictly

looked for; and separated from; any question of this kind。



To return to our party。  The first thing we did when we were all

assembled; was; to draw lots for bedrooms。  That done; and every

bedroom; and; indeed; the whole house; having been minutely

examined by the whole body; we allotted the various household

duties; as if we had been on a gipsy party; or a yachting party; or

a hunting party; or were shipwrecked。  I then recounted the

floating rumors concerning the hooded lady; the owl; and Master B。:

with others; still more filmy; which had floated about during our

occupation; relative to some ridiculous old ghost of the female

gender who went up and down; carrying the ghost of a round table;

and also to an impalpable Jackass; whom nobody was ever able to

catch。  Some of these ideas I really believe our people below had

communicated to one another in some diseased way; without conveying

them in words。  We then gravely called one another to witness; that

we were not there to be deceived; or to deceivewhich we

considered pretty much the same thingand that; with a serious

sense of responsibility; we would be strictly true to one another;

and would strictly follow out the truth。  The understanding was

established; that any one who heard unusual noises in the night;

and who wished to trace them; should knock at my door; lastly; that

on Twelfth Night; the last night of holy Christmas; all our

individual experiences since that then present hour of our coming

together in the haunted house; should be brought to light for the

good of all; and that we would hold our peace on the subject till

then; unless on some remarkable provocation to break silence。



We were; in number and in character; as follows:



Firstto get my sister and myself out of the waythere were we

two。  In the drawing of lots; my sister drew her own room; and I

drew Master B。's。  Next; there was our first cousin John Herschel;

so called after the great astronomer: than whom I suppose a better

man at a telescope does not breathe。  With him; was his wife: a

charming creature to whom he had been married in the previous

spring。  I thought it (under the circumstances) rather imprudent to

bring her; because there is no knowing what even a false alarm may

do at such a time; but I suppose he knew his own business best; and

I must say that if she had been MY wife; I never could have left

her endearing and bright face behind。  They drew the Clock Room。

Alfred Starling; an uncommonly agreeable young fellow of eight…and…

twenty for whom I have the greatest liking; was in the Double Room;

mine; usually; and designated by that name from having a dressing…

room within it; with two large and cumbersome windows; which no

wedges I was ever able to make; would keep from shaking; in any

weather; wind or no wind。  Alfred is a young fellow who pretends to

be 〃fast〃 (another word for loose; as I understand the term); but

who is much too good and sensible for that nonsense; and who would

have distinguished himself before now; if his father had not

unfortunately left him a small independence of two hundred a year;

on the strength of which his only occupation in life has been to

spend six。  I am in hopes; however; that his Banker may break; or

that he may enter into some speculation guaranteed to pay twenty

per cent。; for; I am convinced that if he could only be ruined; his

fortune is made。  Belinda Bates; bosom friend of my sister; and a

most intellectual; amiable; and delightful girl; got the Picture

Room。  She has a fine genius for poetry; combined with real

business earnestness; and 〃goes in〃to use an expression of

Alfred'sfor Woman's mission; Woman's rights; Woman's wrongs; and

everything that is woman's with a capital W; or is not and ought to

be; or is and ought not to be。  〃Most praiseworthy; my dear; and
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