ne
（out where a friend is a friend）
when my back was turned； when Tad was out of the house The images began to unreel again； crumpled sheets； straining bodies； soft sounds。 Ugly phrases； terrible terms kept crowding up like a bunch of freaks looking at an accident： nooky； hair pie； put the boots to her； shot my load； I…don't…fuck…for…fortune…and…I…don't…fuck…for…fame…but…the…way…l…fuck…ya…mamma…is…a…goddam…shame； my turtle in your mud； bank for the gang； stoop for the troops Inside my wife！ he thought； agonized； hands clenching。 Inside my wife！
But the angry； hurt part acknowledged … grudgingly that he couldn't go home and beat the hell out of Donna。 He could； however； take Tad and go。 Never mind the explanations。 Let her try and stop him； if she had cheek enough to do it。 He didn't think she would。 Take Tad； go to a motel； get a lawyer。 Cut the cord cleanly； and don't look back。
But if he just grabbed Tad and took him to a motel； wouldn't the boy be frightened？ Wouldn't he want an explanation？ He was only four； but that was old enough to know when something was badly； frighteningly wrong。 Then there was the matter of the trip … Boston； New York； Cleveland。 Vic didn't give a goddam about the trip； not now； old man Sharp and his kid could take a flying jump at the moon for all he cared。 But he wasn't in it alone。 He had a partner。 The partner had a wife and two kids。 Even now； hurting as badly as he was； Vic recognized his responsibility to at least go through the motions of trying to save the account … which was tantamount to trying to save Ad Worx itself。
And although he didn't want to ask it； there was another question： Exactly why did he want to take Tad and go； without even hearing her side of the story？ Because her sleeping around was wrecking Tad's morals？ He didn't think so。 It was because his mind had immediately seized upon the fact that the way to hurt her most surely and most deeply （as deeply as he hurt right now） was through Tad。 But did he want to turn his son into the emotional equivalent of a crowbar； or a sledgehammer？ He thought not。
Other questions。
The note。 Think about the note for a minute。 Not Just what it said； not just those six lines of battery…acid filth； think about the fact of the note。 Someone had just killed the goose that had been … pardon the pun … laying the golden eggs。 Why had Donna's lover sent that note？
Because the goose was no longer laying； of course。 And the shadow man who had sent the note was mad as hell。
Had Donna dumped the guy？
He tried to see it any other way and couldn't。 Stripped of its sudden； shocking force； wasn't I ENJOYED FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER the classic dog…in…the…manger ploy？ If you can't have it any more； piss on it so no one else will want it either。 Illogical； but ah so satisfying。 The new； easier atmosphere at home fit into that reading； as well。 The almost palpable sense of relief Donna radiated。 She had turned the shadow man out； and the shadow man had hit back at her husband with the anonymous note。
Last question： Did it make any difference？
He took the note out of his jacket pocket again and turned it over and over in his hands； not unfolding it。 He watched the red Frisbee float across the sky and wondered what the hell he was going to do。
'What the Christ is that？' Joe Camber asked。
Each word came out spaced； almost inflectionless。 He stood in the doorway； looking at his wife。 Charity was setting his place。 She and Brett had already eaten。 Joe had e in with a truckful of odds and ends； had begun to drive into the garage； and had seen what was waiting for him。
'It's a chainfall；' she said。 She had sent Brett over to play with his buddy Dave Bergeron for the evening。 She didn't want him around if this went badly。 'Brett said you wanted one。 A Jorgen chainfall； he said。'
Joe crossed the room。 He was a thin man with a scrawny…strong physique； a big blade nose； and a quiet； agile way of walking。 Now his green felt hat was tipped back on his head to show his receding hairline。 There was a smudge of grease on his forehead。 There was beer on his breath。 His blue eyes were small and hard。 He was a man who didn't like surprises。
'You talk to me； Charity；' he said。
'Sit down。 Your supper will get cold。'
His arm shot out like a piston。 Hard fingers bit into her arm。 'What the fuck are you up to？ Talk to me； I said。'
'Don't curse at me； Joe Camber。' He was hurting her badly； but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing it in her face or in her eyes。 He was like a beast in many ways； and although this had excited her when she was young； it excited her no longer。 She had recognized over the course of their years together that she could sometimes gain the upper hand just by seeming brave。 Not always； but sometimes。
'You tell me what the fuck you been up to； Charity！'
'Sit down and eat；' she said quietly； 'and I will。'
He sat down and she brought his plate。 There was a sirloin steak on it。
'Since when can we afford to eat like the Rockefellers？' he asked。 'You got some pretty tall explaining to do； I'd say。'
She brought his coffee and a split baked potato。 'Can't you use the chainfall？'
'Never said I couldn't use it。 But I damn well can't afford it。' He began to eat； his eyes never leaving her。 He wouldn't hit her now； she knew。 This was her chance； while he was still relatively sober。 If he was going to hit her； it would be after he came back from Gary Pervier's； sloshing with vodka and filled with wounded male pride。
Charity sat down across from him and said； 'I won the lottery。'
His jaws halted and then began moving again。 He forked steak into his mouth。 'Sure；' he said。 'And tomorrow ole Cujo out there's gonna shit a mess of gold buttons。' He pointed his fork at the dog； who was pacing restlessly up and down the porch。 Brett didn't like to take him over to the Bergerons' because they had rabbits in a hutch and they drove Cujo wild。
Charity reached into her apron pocket； took out her copy of the prize claim form that the agent had filled out； and handed it across the table to Joe。
Camber flattened the paper out with one blunt…fingered hand and stared it up and down。 His eyes centred on the figure。 'Five …' He began； and then shut his mouth with a snap。
Charity watched him； saying nothing。 He didn't smile。 He didn't e around the table and kiss her。 For a man with his rum of mind； she thought bitterly； good fortune only meant that something was lying in wait。
He looked up at last。 'You won five thousand dollars？'
'Less taxes； ayuh。'
'How long you been playing the lottery？'
'I buy a fifty…center every week 。。。 and you don't dare dun me about it； either； Joe Camber； with all the beer you buy。'
'Watch your mouth； Charity；' he said。 His eyes were unblinking； brilliant blue。 'Just watch your mouth； or it might swell up on you all at once。' He began to eat his steak again； and behind the set mask of her face； she relaxed a little。 She had thrust the chair in the tiger's face for the first time； and it hadn't bitten her。 At least not yet。 'This money。 When do we get it？'
'The check will e in two weeks or a little less。 I bought the chainfall out of the money that's in our savings account。 That claim form is just as good as gold。 That's what the agent said。'
'You went out and bought that thing？'
'I asked Brett what he thought you'd want most。 It's a present。'
'Thanks。' He went on eating。
'I got you a present；' she said。 'Now you give me one； Joe。 Okay？'
He went on eating and he went on looking at her。 He didn't say anything。 His eyes were totally expressionless。 He was eating with his hat on； still pushed back on his head。 She spoke to him slowly； deliberately； knowing it would be a mistake to rush。 'I want to go away for a week。 With Brett。 To see Holly and Jim down in Connecticut。'
'No；' he said； and went on eating。
'We could go on the bus。 We'd stay with them。 It would he cheap。 There would be plenty of money left over。 That found money。 It wouldn't cost a third of what that chainfall cost。 I called the bus station and asked them about the round…trip fare。'
'No。 I need… Brett here to help me。'
She clutched her hands together in a hard； twisting fury under the table； but made her face remain calm and smooth。 'You get along without him in the school year。'
'I said no； Charity；' he said； and she saw with galling； bitter certainty that he was enjoying this。 He saw how much she wanted this。 How she had planned for it。 He was enjoying her pain。
She got up and went to the sink； not because she had anything to do there； but because she needed time to get herself under control。 The evening star peeped in at her； high and remote。 She ran water。 The porcelain was a discolored yellowish color。 Like Joe； their water was hard。
Maybe disappointed； feeling that she had given up too easily； Camber elaborated。 'The boy's got to learn some responsibility。 Won't hurt him to help me this summer instead of running off to Davy Bergeron's house every day and night。'
She turned off the water。 'I sent him over there。'
'You did？ Why？'
'Because I thought it might go like this；' she said； turning back to him。 'But I told him you'd say yes； what with the money and the chainfall。'
'If you knew better； you sinned against the boy；' Joe said。 'Next time I guess