in the hands of an all…wise God； and I rely confidently in his
Providence。
〃SAM HOUSTON。〃＇5＇
＇5＇ Copy from Department of War of the Republic of Texas。
The women and children； under a competent guide； continued
their march eastward。 But they were worn out。 Many were
unable to put their feet to the ground。 The wagons were
crowded with these helpless ones。 The Senora had so far
recovered as to understand that within a few hours Santa Anna
and the Americans must meet。 And； mentally led by Isabel's
passionate hatred； she now showed a vindictiveness beyond that
of any other woman。
She spent hours upon her knees； imploring the saints； and the
stars； and the angel Michael； to fight against Santa
Anna。 To Isabel she whispered； 〃I have even informed the evil
one where he may be found。 The wretch who ordered such
infamies！ He poisons the air of the whole world as he goes
through it。 I shall never be happy till I know that he is in
purgatory。 He will be hated even thereand in a worse place；
too。 Yes； it is pleasant to think of that！ There will be
many accusers of him there。 I shall comfort myself with
imagining his punishment。 Isabel； do you believe with your
heart that Senor Houston and the Americans will be strong
enough to kill him？〃
〃Mi madre； I know it。〃
〃Then do be a little delighted。 How can you bear things with
such a provoking indifference？ But as Luis is safe〃
〃Chito！ Chito！ Do not be cruel； mi madre。 I would stab
Santa Anna with my own handsvery slowly； I would stab him。
It would be so sweet。 The Sisters told me of a woman in the
Holy Book； who smiled upon the one she hated； and gave him
milk and butter； and when he slept； drove a great nail through
his temples。 I know how she felt。 What a feast it would be；
to strike； and strike； and strike！ I could drive ten；
twenty； fifty nails； into Santa Anna； when I think of Juan。〃
No one had before dared to breathe her boy's name in her
hearing。 She herself had never spoken it。 It fell upon the
ears of both women like a strain of forgotten music。 They
looked at each other with eyes that stirred memory and love to
their sweetest depths。 Almost in whispers they began to talk
of the dead boy； to recall how lovable； how charming； how
affectionate； how obedient he had been。 Then the Senora broke
open the seals of her sorrow； and； with bitter reproaches on
herself； confessed that the kiss she had denied her Juan was
a load of anguish upon her heart that she could not bear。
〃If I had only blessed him；〃 she moaned； 〃I had saved him from
his misfortune。 A mother's blessing is such a holy thing！
And he knelt at my knees； and begged it。 I can see his eyes
in the darkness； when my eyes are shut。 I can hear his voice
when I am asleep。 Isabel； I shall never be happy till I see
Juan again； and say to him； ‘Forgive me； dear one； forgive me；
for I have suffered。'〃
Both were weeping； but Isabel said； bravely： 〃I am sure
that Juan does not blame you now； mi madre。 In the other
world one understands better。 And remember； also； the letter
which he wrote you。 His last thought was yours。 He fell with
your name on his lips。 These things are certain。 And was it
not good of Dare to die with him？ A friend like that！ Out of
the tale…books who ever hears of such a thing？ Antonia has
wept much。 In the nights； when she thinks I am asleep； I hear
her。 Have you seen that she has grown white and thin？ I
think that my father is very unhappy about her。〃
〃In an hour of mercy may the merciful One remember Dare Grant！
I will pray for his peace as long as I live。 If he had left
Juanif he had come back aloneI think indeed I should have
hated him。〃
〃That was also the opinion of Antoniashe would never have
loved him the same。 I am sure she would not have married
him。〃
〃My good Antonia！ Go bring her to me； Isabel。 I want to
comfort her。 She has been so patient with me。 I have felt
itfelt it every minute； and I have been stupid and selfish；
and have forgotten that she too was suffering。〃
The next day it was found impossible to move。 The majority of
the women had husbands with the army。 They had left their
wives； to secure everlasting freedom for their children； but；
even if Houston was victorious； they might be wounded and need
their help。 To be near them in any case was the one thing
about which they were positive。
〃We will not move another inch；〃 said a brave little
Massachusetts woman； who had been the natural leader of this
domestic Exodus； 〃we will rest ourselves a little here； and if
the Mexicans want some extraordinary fighting they can have
it； especially； if they come meddling with us or our children。
My husband told me just to get out of reach of shot and shell
and wait there till we heard of the victory； and I am for
doing THAT； and no other thing。〃
Nearly two hundred women； bent upon their own way； are not to
be taken any other way； and the few old men who had been sent
to guide the party； and shoot what game was necessary for
their support； surrendered at once to this feminine mutiny。
Besides； the condition of the boys and girls between seven and
fourteen was really a deplorable one。 They were too old
to be cared for as infants； and they had been obliged； with
the strength of children； to accomplish the labor of men and
women。 Many were crippled in their feet； others were
continually on the point of swooning。
It was now the 20th of April。 The Senora and her daughters
had been six weeks with the American army； exposed to all the
privations which such a life entailed。 But the most obvious
of these privations were； perhaps； those which were most
easily borne。 Women endure great calamities better than the
little annoyances affecting those wants which are part and
parcel of their sex or their caste。 It was not the
necessaries so much as the luxuries of life which the Senora
missedthe changes of raimentthe privacythe quietthe
regularity of events。
During the whole of the 20th； there was almost a Sabbath
stillness。 It was a warm； balmy day。 The wearied children
were under the wagons and under the trees； sleeping the dead
sleep of extreme exhaustion。 The mothers； wherever it was
possible； slept also。 The guides were a little apart；
listening and smoking。 If they spoke； it was only in
monosyllables。 Rest was so much more needed than food that
little or no attempt was made to cook until near sundown。
At dawn next morningnay； a little before dawnwhen all was
chill； and gray； and misty； and there was not a sound but the
wailing of a sick child； the Senora touched her daughters。
Her voice was strange to them； her face solemnly happy。
〃Antonio！ Isabel！ I HAVE SEEN JUAN！ I HAVE SEEN JUAN！ My
eyes were shut； but I have seen him。 He was a beautiful
shadow； with a great； shadowy host around him。 He bent on me
such eyes！ Holy Mother！ their love was unfathomable； and I
heard his voice。 It was far off； yet near。 ‘Madre！' he said；
‘TOMORROW YOU SHALL HEAR FROM US。' Now I am happy。 There
are words in my heart； but I cannot explain them to you。 I
know what they mean。 I will weep no more。 They put my Juan's
body in the grave； but they have not buried HIM。〃
All day she was silent and full of thought； but her face was
smiling and hopeful； and she had the air of one waiting for
some assured happiness。 About three o'clock in the
afternoon she stood up quickly and cried； 〃Hark！ the battle
has begun！〃 Every one listened intently； and after a short
pause the oldest of the guides nodded。 〃I'd give the rest of
my life to be young again；〃 he said； 〃just for three hours to
be young； and behind Houston！〃
〃TO…MORROW WE SHALL HEAR。〃
The words fell from the Senora's lips with a singular
significance。 Her face and voice were the face and voice of
some glad diviner； triumphantly carrying her own augury。
Under a little grove of trees she walked until sunset； passing
the beads of her rosary through her fingers； and mechanically
whispering the prayers appointed。 The act undoubtedly quieted
her； but Antonia knew that she lay awake all night； praying
for the living or the dead。
About ten o'clock of the morning of the 22d； a horseman was
seen coming toward the camp at full speed。 Women and children
stood breathlessly waiting his approach。 No one could speak。
If a child moved； the movement was angrily reproved。 The
tension was too great to admit of a touch through any
sense。 Some； unable to bear the extended strain； sank upon
the ground and covered their faces with their hands。 But the
half…grown children； wan with privations and fever； ragged and
barefoot； watched steadily the horse and its rider； their
round； gleaming eyes full of wonder and fear。
〃It is Thomas；〃 said the Senora。
As he came near； and the beat of the horse's hoofs could be
heard； a cry almost inarticulate； not to be described； shrill
and agonizing in its intensity； broke simultaneously from the
anxious women。 It was one cry from many hearts； all at the
last point of endurance。 Thomas Worth understood it。 He
flung his hat up； and answered with a joyful 〃Hurrah！〃