the secret places of the heart- 第11部分

stinguished　from　contemplation；　arose　out　of　sex　and　needed　to　be　refreshed　by　the　reiteration　of　that　motive？　It　was　a　plausible　proposition：　it　marched　with　all　the　doctor's　ideas　of　natural　selection　and　of　the　conditions　of　a　survival　that　have　made　us　what　we　are。　It　was　in　tune　with　the　Freudian　analyses。　〃SEX　NOT　ONLY　A　RENEWAL　OF　LIFE　IN　THE　SPECIES；〃　noted　the　doctor's　silver　pencil；　〃SEX　MAY　BE　ALSO　A　RENEWAL　OF　ENERGY　IN　THE　INDIVIDUAL。〃　After　some　musing　he　crossed　out　〃sex〃　and　wrote　above　it　〃sexual　love。〃　〃That　is　practically　what　he　claims；　Dr。　Martineau　said。　〃In　which　case　we　want　the　completest　revision　of　all　our　standards　of　sexual　obligation。　We　want　a　new　system　of　restrictions　and　imperatives　altogether。〃　It　was　a　fixed　idea　of　the　doctor's　that　women　were　quite　incapable　of　producing　ideas　in　the　same　way　that　men　do；　but　he　believed　that　with　suitable　encouragement　they　could　be　induced　to　respond　quite　generously　to　such　ideas。　Suppose　therefore　we　really　educated　the　imaginations　of　women；　suppose　we　turned　their　indubitable　capacity　for　service　towards　social　and　political　creativeness；　not　in　order　to　make　them　the　rivals　of　men　in　these　fields；　but　their　moral　and　actual　helpers。　〃A　man　of　this　sort　wants　a　mistress…　mother；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃He　wants　a　sort　of　woman　who　cares　more　for　him　and　his　work　and　honour　than　she　does　for　child　or　home　or　clothes　or　personal　pride。　〃But　are　there　such　women？　Can　there　be　such　a　woman？〃　〃His　work　needs　to　be　very　fine　to　deserve　her　help。　But　admitting　its　fineness？　。　。　。　〃The　alternative　seems　to　be　to　teach　the　sexes　to　get　along　without　each　other。　〃A　neutralized　world。　A　separated　world。　How　we　should　jostle　in　the　streets！　But　the　early　Christians　have　tried　it　already。　The　thing　is　impossible。　〃Very　well；　then；　we　have　to　make　women　more　responsible　again。　In　a　new　capacity。　We　have　to　educate　them　far　more　seriously　as　sources　of　energyas　guardians　and　helpers　of　men。　And　we　have　to　suppress　them　far　more　rigorously　as　tempters　and　dissipaters。　Instead　of　mothering　babies　they　have　to　mother　the　race。　。　。　。　〃　A　vision　of　women　made　responsible　floated　before　his　eyes。　〃Is　that　man　working　better　since　you　got　hold　of　him？　If　not；　why　not？　〃Or　again；Jane　Smith　was　charged　with　neglecting　her　lover　to　the　common　danger。　。　。　。　The　inspector　said　the　man　was　in　a　pitiful　state；　morally　quite　uncombed　and　infested　with　vulgar；　showy　ideas。　。　。　。〃　The　doctor　laughed；　telescoped　his　pencil　and　stood　up。　Section　7　It　became　evident　after　dinner　that　Sir　Richmond　also　had　been　thinking　over　the　afternoon's　conversation。　He　and　Dr。　Martineau　sat　in　wide…armed　cane　chairs　on　the　lawn　with　a　wickerwork　table　bearing　coffee　cups　and　little　glasses　between　them。　A　few　other　diners　chatted　and　whispered　about　similar　tables　but　not　too　close　to　our　talkers　to　disturb　them；　the　dining　room　behind　them　had　cleared　its　tables　and　depressed　its　illumination。　The　moon；　in　its　first　quarter；　hung　above　the　sunset；　sank　after　twilight；　shone　brighter　and　brighter　among　the　western　trees；　and　presently　had　gone；　leaving　the　sky　to　an　increasing　multitude　of　stars。　The　Maidenhead　river　wearing　its　dusky　blue　draperies　and　its　jewels　of　light　had　recovered　all　the　magic　Sir　Richmond　had　stripped　from　it　in　the　afternoon。　The　grave　arches　of　the　bridge；　made　complete　circles　by　the　reflexion　of　the　water；　sustained；　as　if　by　some　unifying　and　justifying　reason；　the　erratic　flat　flashes　and　streaks　and　glares　of　traffic　that　fretted　to　and　fro　overhead。　A　voice　sang　intermittently　and　a　banjo　tinkled；　but　remotely　enough　to　be　indistinct　and　agreeable。　〃After　all；〃　Sir　Richmond　began　abruptly；〃　the　search　for　some　sort　of　sexual　modus　vivendi　is　only　a　means　to　an　end。　One　does　not　want　to　live　for　sex　but　only　through　sex。　The　main　thing　in　my　life　has　always　been　my　work。　This　afternoon；　under　the　Maidenhead　influence；　I　talked　too　much　of　sex。　I　babbled。　Of　things　one　doesn't　usually　。　。　。　〃　〃It　was　very　illuminating；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃No　doubt。　But　a　temporary　phase。　It　is　the　defective　bearing　talks。　。　。　。　Just　nowI　happen　to　be　irritated。〃　The　darkness　concealed　a　faint　smile　on　the　doctor's　face。　〃The　work　is　the　thing；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　So　long　as　one　can　keep　one's　grip　on　it。〃　〃What；〃　said　the　doctor　after　a　pause；　leaning　back　and　sending　wreaths　of　smoke　up　towards　the　star…dusted　zenith；　〃what　is　your　idea　of　your　work？　I　mean；　how　do　you　see　it　in　relation　to　yourselfand　things　generally？〃　〃Put　in　the　most　general　terms？〃　〃Put　in　the　most　general　terms。〃　〃I　wonder　if　I　can　put　it　in　general　terms　for　you　at　all。　It　is　hard　to　put　something　one　is　always　thinking　about　in　general　terms　or　to　think　of　it　as　a　whole。　。　。　。　Now。　。　。　。　Fuel？　。　。　。　〃I　suppose　it　was　my　father's　business　interests　that　pushed　me　towards　specialization　in　fuel。　He　wanted　me　to　have　a　thoroughly　scientific　training　in　days　when　a　scientific　training　was　less　easy　to　get　for　a　boy　than　it　is　today。　And　much　more　inspiring　when　you　got　it。　My　mind　was　framed；　so　to　speak；　in　geology　and　astronomical　physics。　I　grew　up　to　think　on　that　scale。　Just　as　a　man　who　has　been　trained　in　history　and　law　grows　to　think　on　the　scale　of　the　Roman　empire。　I　don't　know　what　your　pocket　map　of　the　universe　is；　the　map；　I　mean；　by　which　you　judge　all　sorts　of　other　general　ideas。　To　me　this　planet　is　a　little　ball　of　oxides　and　nickel　steel；　life　a　sort　of　tarnish　on　its　surface。　And　we；　the　minutest　particles　in　that　tarnish。　Who　can　nevertheless；　in　some　unaccountable　way；　take　in　the　idea　of　this　universe　as　one　whole；　who　begin　to　dream　of　taking　control　of　it。〃　〃That　is　not　a　bad　statement　of　the　scientific　point　of　view。　I　suppose　I　have　much　the　same　general　idea　of　the　world。　On　rather　more　psychological　lines。〃　〃We　think；　I　suppose；　said　Sir　Richmond；　of　life　as　something　that　is　only　just　beginning　to　be　aware　of　what　it　isand　what　it　might　be。〃　〃Exactly；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃Good。〃　He　went　on　eagerly。　〃That　is　precisely　how　I　see　it。　You　and　I　are　just　particles　in　the　tarnish；　as　you　call　it；　who　are　becoming　dimly　awake　to　what　we　are；　to　what　we　have　in　common。　Only　a　very　few　of　us　have　got　as　far　even　as　this。　These　others　here；　for　example　。　。　。　。〃　He　indicated　the　rest　of　Maidenhead　by　a　movement。　〃Desire；　mutual　flattery；　egotistical　dreams；　greedy　solicitudes　fill　them　up。　They　haven't　begun　to　get　out　of　themselves。〃　〃We；　I　suppose；　have；〃　doubted　Sir　Richmond。　〃We　have。〃　The　doctor　had　no　doubt。　He　lay　back　in　his　chair；　with　his　hands　behind　his　head　and　his　smoke　ascending　vertically　to　heaven。　With　the　greatest　contentment　he　began　quoting　himself。　〃This　getting　out　of　one's　individualitythis　conscious　getting　out　of　one's　individualityis　one　of　the　most　important　and　interesting　aspects　of　the　psychology　of　the　new　age　that　is　now　dawning。　As　compared　with　any　previous　age。　Unconsciously；　of　course；　every　true　artist；　every　philosopher；　every　scientific　investigator；　so　far　as　his　art　or　thought　went；　has　always　got　out　of　himself；has　forgotten　his　personal　interests　and　become　Man　thinking　for　the　whole　race。　And　intimations　of　the　same　thing　have　been　at　the　heart　of　most　religions。　But　now　people　are　beginning　to　get　this　detachment　without　any　distinctively　religious　feeling　or　any　distinctive　aesthetic　or　intellectual　impulse；　as　if　it　were　a　plain　matter　of　fact。　Plain　matter　of　fact；　that　we　are　only　incidentally　ourselves。　That　really　each　one　of　us　is　also　the　whole　species；　is　really　indeed　all　life。　〃　〃A　part　of　it。〃　〃An　integral　part…as　sight　is　part　of　a　man　。　。　。　with　no　absolute　separation　from　all　the　restno　more　than　a　separation　of　the　imagination。　The　whole　so　far　as　his　distinctive　quality　goes。　I　do　not　know　how　this　takes　shape　in　your　mind；　Sir　Richmond；　but　to　me　this　idea　of　actually　being　life　itself　upon　the　world；　a　special　phase　of　it　dependent　upon　and　connected　with　all　other　phases；　and　of　being　one　of　a　small　but　growing　number　of　people　who　apprehend　that；　and　want　to　live　in　the　spirit　of　that；　is　quite　central。　It　is　my　fundamental　idea。　We；this　small　but　growing　minorityconstitute　that　part　of　life　which　knows　and　wills　and　tries　to　rule　its　destiny。　This　new　realization；　the　new　psychology　arising　out　of　it　is　a　fact　of　supreme　importance　in　the　history　of　life。　It　is　like　the　appearance　of　self…consciousness　in　some　creature　that　has　not　hitherto　had　self…consciousness。　And　so　far　as　we　are　concerned；　we　are　the　true　kingship　of　the　world。　Necessarily。　We　who　know；　are　the　true　king。　。　。　。I　wonder　how　this　appeals　to　you。　It　is　stuff　I　have　thought　out　very　slowly　and　carefully　and　written　and　approved。　It　is　the　very　core　of　my　life。　。　。　。　And　yet　when　one　comes　to　say　these　things　to　someone　else；　face　to　face。　。　。　。　It　is　much　more　difficult　to　say　than　to　write。〃　Sir　Richmond　noted　how　the　doctor's　chair　creaked　as　he　rolled　to　and　fro　with　the　uneasiness　of　these　intimate　utterances。　〃I　agree；〃　said　Sir　Richmond　presently。　〃One　DOES　think　in　this　fashion。　Something　in　this　fashion。　What　one　calls　one's　work　does　belong　to　something　much　bigger　than　ourselves。　〃Something　much　bigger；〃　he　expanded。　〃Which　something　we　become；〃　the　doctor　urged；　〃i