〃Now you are talking my language！ For the first time I have some interest in this poisonous project。 Bring on the records…and some food…and I will see what I can do。〃
Not very much I thought to myself after hours of reading and rereading the thin file； while eating a number of stale and tasteless sandwiches。 The Admiral was slumped asleep in the armchair and snoring like a rocket exhaust。 There were no answers here； so some questions were very much in order。 Which gave me the sweet pleasure of waking him up。 A few good shakes did it and those nasty little red eyes glared into mine。
〃You better have a good reason for that。〃
〃I do。 How much do you personally know about Liokukae？〃
〃Everything； you dimwit。 That is why I am here。〃
〃It seems to be pretty tightly sealed up。〃
〃Pretty tightly is not the way I would describe it。 Hermetically sealed； guarded； patrolled； watched； locked tight； quarantined … take your pick。 Food and medicines are shipped in。 Nothing es out。〃
〃Do they have their own doctors？〃
〃No。 Medical teams are stationed there in the hospital inside the landing station…which is built like a fortress。 And before you even ask…the answer is no。 What little trust there is between the Navy and the Liokukaers involves the medical services。 They e to us and we treat them。 Let them suspect for an instant that the medicos are involved in hanky…panky and the trust is gone。 Disease and death would be certain。 We're not taking a chance on that。〃
〃If the rest of the civilized galaxy doesn't know about them … what do they know about us？〃
〃Everything I suppose。 We do not practice censorship。 We transmit all the usual TV entertainment channels as well as educational and news services。 They are well supplied with television receivers and can watch reruns of all the most loathsome programs and series。 The theory being if we can stun their minds with televised crap they won't get up to more trouble。〃
〃Does it work？〃
〃Possibly。 But we do know that they are rated on top of the galactic viewing scale for uninterrupted hours in front of the gogglebox。〃
〃You go there and take surveys？〃
〃Don't be stupid。 Recorders are sealed into the chassis of each set。 These can be tapped by satellite。〃
〃So what we have here is a planet of murderous； belligerent； nutsy TV fans？〃
〃That's about the size of it。〃
I jumped to my feet； spilling dry crumbs of dead sandwiches onto the carpet。 Raised my fists； and my voice； on high。
〃That's it！〃
Benbow blinked at me rapidly and scowled。
〃What's it？〃
〃The answer。 It is just the glimmering of an idea now…but I know that it will grow and expand into something incredible。 I'm going to sleep on it and when I awake I will polish it and perfect it and describe it to you in detail。〃
〃What is it？〃
〃Don't be greedy。 All in good time。〃
CHAPTER 4
The automated kitchen produced another stale sandwich； the machine was half…knackered and out of adjustment； along with a lukewarm cup of watery cocoa。 I crunched and sipped gloomily； then found the bedroom down the hall。 Air…conditioned of course…but the window wasn't sealed。 I opened it and sniffed the cool night air。 The moon was rising； to join the other three already up。 Made for some interesting shadows。 A leg over the windowsill； a drop into the garden…and I would be long gone before any alarm might go off。
And I would be dead in twenty…nine days。 That little drink I had drunk in prison really concentrated my attention and guaranteed my loyalty。 But could I pull this plicated operation off in that space of time？
Considering the consequences I had no choice。 I sighed tremulously； closed the window and went to bed。 It had been a very； very long day。
In the morning I had picked the lock on the control panel in the kitchen and was busy rewiring it when Admiral Benbow came in。
〃May I inquire politely just what the hell you are doing？〃
〃Obviously trying to get this crook device to produce something other than stale cheese sandwiches。 There！〃
I slammed the panel shut and punched in a mand。 A cup of steaming coffee instantly appeared。 Followed by a porcuswinewich； steaming and juicy。 The Admiral nodded。
〃I'll take this one…get another for yourself。 Now tell me your plan。〃
I did。 Mumbling through mouthfuls of breakfast。
〃We are going to spend some credits out of the mountains of money that we have access to。 First we plant some news items。 I want interviews； reviews； gossip and more…all about the new pop group that is the hit of the galaxy。〃
He scowled and growled。 〃What pop group？ What in hades are you talking about？〃
〃The planet…busting hit group called 。 。 。〃
〃Called what？〃
〃I don't know。 I haven't thought about it yet。 Something way out and memorable。 Or kinky。〃 I smiled and raised an inspired finger。 〃I have it！ Ready？ The group is called 。 。 。 The Stainless Steel Rats！〃
〃Why？〃
〃Why not？〃
The Admiral was not happy。 His scowl turned to a snarl and he jabbed a judgmental finger at me。 〃More coffee。 Then tell me what you are。 talking about or I will kill you。〃
〃Temper； temper； Admiral。 Remember the old blood pressure。 What I am talking about is getting to Liokukae with all the equipment I need； along with some strong…armed help。 We are going to form a group of musicians called The Stainless Steel Rats…〃
〃What musicians？〃
〃Me for one…and you are going to supply me with the rest。 You did tell me that you were head of League Navy Security？〃
〃I did。 I am。〃
〃Then summon your troops。 Get one of your techs to research all your field operators； all your rankings who have ever served in what passes for action in this civilized universe。 The search will be a simple one because we want to know just one single fact about all of them。 Are they musically inclined？ Can they play a musical instrument； sing； dance； whistle or even hum in tune？ Get the list and we will have our band。〃
He nodded over his coffee。 〃You're beginning to make sense。 A pop group posed only of security agents。 But it will take time to put together； to organize； to rehearse。〃
〃Why？〃
〃So it will sound good； you moron。〃
〃Who could tell the difference？ Have you ever listened to country…and…coal…mining music？ Or Aqua Regia and her Plutonium Pals？〃
〃Point taken。 So we get this group together and publicize them well so all Liokukae knows about them…〃
〃And has heard their music…〃
〃And wants to hear more。 On tour。 Which is impossible。 The planet is quarantined。〃
〃That is the beauty of my plan； Admiral。 When the publicity peaks； and the fame of the group is galaxy…wide； that is when the Rats will mit some crime so awful that they will instantly be shipped off to this prison planet。 Where they will be received with great enthusiasm。 And no suspicion。 Where they will investigate and find the alien artifact and get it back so I can have the antidote。 One other thing。 Before we start operations I will need three million Interstellar Credits。 In coins that have been newly minted here。〃
〃No way；〃 he snarled。 〃Funds will be supplied as needed。〃
〃You missed the point。 That is my fee for conducting this operation。 All operating expenses are on top of that。 Pay up or else。〃
〃Or else what？〃
〃Or else I die in twenty…nine days and the operation dies and you get a black mark on your service record。〃
Self…interest prodded him into an instant decision。 〃Why not。 Those financially overburdened academics can afford it and not even notice it。 I'll get that list for you。〃
He unclipped his phone from his belt； shouted a multi…digit number into it； then barked some brief mands。 Before I had finished my coffee the printer hummed to life in the office； sheets of paper began to pile up in the bin。 We went through them and ticked off a number of possibilities。 There were no names； just code numbers。 When this was done I passed the list back to the Admiral。
〃We'll need plete files on all the marked ones。〃
〃That is classified and secret information。〃
〃And you are the Admiral and you can get it。〃
〃I'll get it…and censor it。 There is no way I am going to let you know any details of my Security Department。〃
〃Keep your secrets…I couldn't care less。〃 Which was of course an outright lie。 〃Give them code names as well as numbers； conceal their identities。 All I want to know is their musical abilities； and will they be any good in the field when the going gets rough。〃
This took a bit of time。 I went for a long jog to loosen the muscles。 Then； while my clothes were being zapped clean in the vacuum washer； I took a hot shower followed by a cold one。 I made a mental note to get some more clothes soon…but not until this operation was up and running。 There was no escaping that deadly clock that was ticking off the seconds to doomsday。
〃Here is the list；〃 the Admiral said when I entered the office。 〃No names； just numbers。 Male agents are identified by the letter A and 。 。 。〃
〃Let me guess…the females are B？〃
A growl was his only response； he pletely lacked any sense of humor。 I flipped through the list。 Slim pickings among the ladies who ran the gamut from B1 to B4。 Pipe…organ player； not very likely； harmonica； tuba…and a singer。
〃I'll need a photograph of B3。 And what do these