He ran at her before she could unlock the door； and the blow … in its force； in its malice … was totally unexpected。
'Bitch！' he shrieked； a hail of blows ing fast upon the first。
In her stomach； the thing that wanted to kill grew a little larger。
He had his fingers tangled in her hair； and pulled her back into the room； shouting obscenities at her； an endless stream of them； as though he'd opened a dam full of sewer…water on her。 This was just another way for him to get what he wanted she told herself； if you succumb to this you've lost： he's just manipulating you。 Still the words came： the same dirty words that had been thrown at generations of unsubmissive women。 Whore； heretic； cunt； bitch； monster。
Yes； she was that。
Yes； she thought： monster I am。
The thought made it easy。 She turned。 He knew what she intended even before she looked at him。 He dropped his hands from her head。 Her anger was already in her throat ing out of her … crossing the air between them。
Monster he calls me： monster I am。
I do this for myself； not for him。 Never for him。 For myself！
He gasped as her will touched him； and the glittering eyes stopped glittering for a moment； the will to die became the will to survive； all too late of course； and he roared。 She heard answering shouts； steps； threats on the stairs。 They would be in the room in a matter of moments。
'You are an animal；' she said。
'No；' he said； certain even now that his place was in mand。
'You don't exist；' she said； advancing on him。 'They'll never find the part that was Titus。 Titus is gone。 The rest is just …'
The pain was terrible。 It stopped even a voice ing out from him。 Or was that her again； changing his throat； his palate； his very head？ She was unlocking the plates of his skull； and reorganizing him。
No； he wanted to say； this isn't the subtle ritual I had planned。 I wanted to die folded into you； I wanted to go with my mouth clamped to yours； cooling in you as I died。 This is not the way I want it。
No。 No。 No。
They were at the door； the men who'd kept her here； beating on it。 She had no fear of them； of course； except that they might spoil her handiwork before the final touches were added to it。
Someone was hurling themselves at the door now。 Wood splintered： the door was flung open。 The two men were both armed。 They pointed their weapons at her； steady…handed。
'Mr Pettifer？' said the younger man。 In the corner of the room； under the table； Pettifer's eyes shone。
'Mr Pettifer？' he said again； forgetting the woman。 Pettifer shook his snouted head。 Don't e any closer； please； he thought。
The man crouched down and stared under the table at the disgusting beast that was squatting there； bloody from its transformation； but alive。 She had killed his nerves： he felt no pajn。 He just survived； his hands knotted into paws； his legs scooped up around his back； knees broken so he had the look of a four…legged crab； his brain exposed； his eyes lidless； lower jaw broken and swept up over his top jaw like a bulldog； ears torn off； spine snapped； humanity bewitched into another state。
'You are an animal；' she'd said。 It wasn't a bad facsimile of beast hood。
The man with the gun gagged as he recognized fragments of his master。 He stood up； greasy…chinned； and glanced around at the woman。
Jacqueline shrugged。
'You did this？' Awe mingled with the revulsion。
She nodded。
'e Titus；' she said； clicking her fingers。
The beast shook its head； sobbing。
'e Titus；' she said more forcefully； and Titus Pettifer waddled out of his hiding place； leaving a trail like a punctured meat…sack。
The man fired at Pettifer's remains out of sheer instinct。 Anything； anything at all to prevent this disgusting crea…ture from approaching him。
Titus stumbled two steps back on his bloody paws； shook himself as if to dislodge the death in him； and failing； died。
'Content？' she asked。
The gunman looked up from the execution。 Was the power talking to him？ No； Jacqueline was staring at Pettifer's corpse； asking the question of him。
Content？
The gunman dropped his weapon。 The other man did the same。
'How did this happen？' asked the man at the door。 A simple question： a child's question。
'He asked；' said Jacqueline。 'It was all I could give him。'
The gunman nodded； and fell to his knees。
Vassi's Testimony （final part）
'Chance has played a worryingly large part in my romance with Jacqueline Ess。 Sometimes it's seemed I've been subject to every tide that passes through the world； spun around by the merest flick of accident's wrist。 Other times I've had the suspicion that she was masterminding my life； as she was the lives of a hundred others； a thousand others； arranging every fluke meeting； choreographing my victories and my defeats； escorting me； blindly； towards this last encounter。
I found her without knowing I'd found her； that was the irony of it。 I'd traced her first to a house in Surrey； a house that had a year previous seen the murder of one Titus Pettifer； a billionaire shot by one of his own bodyguards。 In the upstairs room； where the murder had taken place； all was serenity。 If she had been there； they had removed any sign。 But the house； now in virtual ruin； was prey to all manner of graffiti； and on the stained plaster wall of that room someone had scrawled a woman。 She was obscenely over…endowed； her gaping sex blazing with what looked like lightning。 And at her feet there was a creature of indeterminate species。 Perhaps a crab； perhaps a dog； perhaps even a man。 Whatever it was it had no power over itself。 It sat in the light of her agonizing presence and counted itself amongst the fortunate。 Looking at that wizened creature； with its eyes turned up to gaze on the
burning Madonna； I knew the picture was a portrait of Jacqueline。
I don't know how long I stood looking at the graffiti； but I was interrupted by a man who looked to be in a worse condition than me。 A beard that had never been trimmed or washed； a frame so wasted I wondered how he managed to stand upright； and a smell that would not have shamed a skunk。
I never knew his name： but he was； he told me； the maker of the picture on the wall。 It was easy to believe that。 His desperation； his hunger； his confusion were all marks of a man who had seen Jacqueline。
If I was rough in my interrogation of him I'm sure he forgave me。 It was an unburdening for him； to tell everything he'd seen the day that Pettifer had been killed； and know that I believed it all。 He told me his fellow bodyguard； the man who had fifed the shots that had killed Pettifer； had mitted suicide in prison。
His life； he said； was meaningless。 She had destroyed it。 I gave him what reassurances I could； that she meant no harm； and that he needn't fear that she would e for him。 When I told him that； he cried； more； I think； out of loss than relief。
Finally I asked him if he knew where Jacqueline was now。 I'd left that question to the end； though it had been the most pressing enquiry； because I suppose I didn't dare hope he'd know。 But my God； he did。 She had not left the house immediately after the shooting of Pettifer。 She had sat down with this man； and talked to him quietly about his children； his tailor； his car。 She'd asked him what his mother had been like； and he'd told her his mother had been a prostitute。 Had she been happy？ Jacqueline had asked。 He'd said he didn't know。 Did she ever cry； she'd asked。 He'd said he never saw her laugh or cry in his life。 And she'd nodded； and thanked him。
Later； before his suicide； the other gunman had told him Jacqueline had gone to Amsterdam。 This he knew for a fact； from a man called Koos。 And so the circle begins to close； yes？
I was in Amsterdam seven weeks； without finding a single clue to her whereabouts； until yesterday evening。 Seven weeks of celibacy； which is unusual for me。 Listless with frustration I went down to the red…light district； to find a woman。 They sit there you know； in the windows； like mannequins； beside pink…fringed lamps。 Some have miniature dogs on their laps； some read。 Most just stare out at the street； as if mesmerized。
There were no faces there that interested me。 They all seemed joyless； lightless； too much unlike her。 Yet I couldn't leave。 I was like a fat boy in a sweet shop； too nauseous to buy； too gluttonous to go。
Towards the middle of the night； I was spoken to out of the crowd by a young man who； on closer inspection； was not young at all； but heavily made up。 He had no eyebrows； just pencil marks drawn on to his shiny skin。 A cluster of gold earrings in his left ear； a half…eaten peach in his white…gloved hand； open sandals； lacquered toenails。 He took hold of my sleeve； proprietarily。
I must have sneered at his sickening appearance； but he didn't seem at all upset by my contempt。 You look like a man of discernment； he said。 I looked nothing of the kind： you must be mistaken； I said。 No； he replied； I am not mistaken。 You are Oliver Vassi。
My first thought； absurdly； was that he intended to kill me。 I tried to pull away； his grip on my cuff was relentless。
You want a woman； he said。 Did I hesitate enough for him to know I meant yes； though I said n