to pretend I was。 When Yaksha had held me that long night； I felt myself die。 Yet I imagined that I was alive as others were alive。 But the life in me was not from this world。 I could live off that life； but I could never give in to it。 Yaksha told me I was sterile at the same time he told me about the blood。 It made me cry for Lalita and Rama and wonder how they were doing without their Sita。
But I would not go to see them。
I would not let them see the monster I had bee。
I feared I would make them vampires； too。
I resisted drinking another's blood； until pain was all I knew。 I grew weak； I couldn't stop moaning。 It was as if because I would not drink another's blood； then the thing Yaksha had put inside me would eat me alive。 A month after my transformation； Yaksha brought me a half…conscious boy； with his neck veins already partially open； and ordered me to drink。 How I hated him then for putting such temptation in front of me。 How it rekindled in me my hatred for how he had taken me from Rama and Lalita。 Yet my hate did not give me strength because it was not a pure thing。 I needed Yaksha after he changed me； and need is a close kin of love。 But I would not say I ever loved Yaksha； rather； I looked up to him because he was greater than I was。 For a long time he was the only one to look up to…until Krishna。
Yet I drank the boy's blood。 I fell upon him even as I swooned。 And even though I resolved not to kill him； I couldn't stop drinking once I started。 Then the boy was dead。 I cried in horror as he took his last breath in my arms。 But Yaksha just laughed。 He said that once you killed； it was easy to kill again。
Yes； I hated him then because I knew he was right。
After that； I killed many； and I grew to love it。
The years went by。 We headed southeast。 We never stopped moving。 It never took that long for people in a village to realize we were dangerous。 We came； we made friends…eventually we slew； and the rumors went before us。 We also made more of our kind。 The first vampire I created was a girl my age； with large dark eyes and hair like a waterfall made from the light of the midnight sky。 I imagined she could bee a friend； even though I took her against her will。 By then Yaksha had told me what was necessary： the lifting out of my vein ing from my heart； the merger of her vein going back to the heart； the transfusion； the terror； the ecstasy。 Her name was Mataji； and she never thanked me for what I did to her； but she stayed close in the years to e。
Making Mataji drained my strength； and it was several days and many victims later before I regained my full powers。 It was the same for all of us except Yaksha。 When he created another； he just grew stronger。 I knew it was because it was his soul that fed us all。 The yakshini embodied。 The demon from the deep。
Yet there was kindness in him； but I couldn't understand its source。 He was protective of all he created； and he was unusually nice to me。 He never again told me that he loved me； however； but he did。 His eyes were often on me。 What was I supposed to do？ The damned could not marry。 God would not witness the union as we had been taught from the Vedas。
It was then； maybe after fifty years of being a vampire； that we began to hear stories about a man many said was the Veda incarnate。 A man who was more than a man； perhaps Lord Vishnu himself。 Each new village we plundered brought us another detail。 His principal name was Krishna and he lived in the forests of Vrindavana near the Yumana River； with the cowherders and their milkmaids…the gopis； they were called。 It was said this man； this Vasudeva…he had many names…was capable of slaying demons and granting bliss。 His best friends were the five Pandava brothers； who had the reputation of being the incarnation of more minor deities。 Arjuna； one of the brothers； had almost the fame of Krishna。 He was said to be the son of the great god Indra； the lord of paradise。 We did not doubt； from what we heard； that Arjuna was indeed a magnificent warrior。
Yaksha was intrigued。 The rest of us vampires were as well； but few of us wanted to meet Krishna。 Because even though our numbers by then were close to a thousand； we felt Krishna would not greet us with open arms； and if half the stories told about him and his friends were true； he might destroy us all。 But Yaksha could not bear the thought that there was a man in the land more powerful than he。 Because his reputation had grown great as well； although it was the notoriety of terror。
We set out for Vrindavana； all of us； and we marched openly； making no secret of our destination。 The many mortals whom we passed seemed happy； for they believed our wandering herd of blood drinkers was doomed。 I saw the gratitude in their faces and felt the fear in my heart。 None of these people had personally met Krishna。 Yet they believed in him。 They simply trusted in the sound of his name。 Even as we slew many of them； they called out to Krishna。
Of course Krishna knew we were ing； it required no omniscience on his part。 Yaksha had a shrewd intellect； yet it was clouded by the arrogance his powers had given him。 As we entered the forests of Vrindavana； all seemed calm。 Indeed； the woods appeared deserted； even to us with acute hearing。 But Krishna was only saving his attack until we were deep into his land。 All of a sudden arrows began to fly toward us。 Not a rain of them； but one at a time。 Yet in quick succession and fired with perfect accuracy。 Truly； not one of those arrows missed its target。 They went through the hearts and heads of our kind。 They never failed to kill that which Yaksha had told us could not be killed。 And the most amazing thing is we could not catch the man who shot the arrows。 We could not even see him； his kavach； his mystical armor； was that great。
Mataji was one of the first to fall； an arrow between her eyes。
Still； we were many； and it was going to take time even for the finest archer of all time to kill us。 Yaksha drove us forward； as fast as we could go。 Then the arrows began to strike only the rear of our contingent； and then they ceased altogether。 It appeared that we had been able to outrun even Arjuna。 But we had left many behind。 Rebellion stirred against Yaksha。 Most wanted to leave Vrindavana； if they knew which way to flee。 For the first time Yaksha was losing mand。 But it was then； in those enchanted woods； that we came across what at first seemed to Yaksha a great boon。 We ran into Radha； the chief of the gopis； Krishna's consort。
We had heard about Radha as well； whose name meant 〃longing。〃 She was called this because she longed for Krishna even more than she desired to breathe。 She was picking jasmines by the clear waters of the Yamuna when we came across her。 We did not frighten her； she actually smiled when she saw us。 Her beauty was extraordinary； I had never seen and never would see in five thousand years such an exquisite female。 Her skin was remarkably fair； her face shone with the subtle radiance of moonlight。 Her form was shapely。 She moved as if in a joyful theater； each turn of her arm or bending of knees seemed to bring bliss。 It was because each step she took； she took with the thought of Krishna。 She was singing a song about him when we came upon her。 In fact； the first words out of her mouth were to ask us if we wanted to learn it。
Yaksha immediately took her captive。 She did not try to hide her identity。 We bound her wrists and ankles。 I was put in charge of her while Yaksha sent several of our kind calling through the woods that we had Radha and that we were going to kill her unless Krishna agreed to meet Yaksha in single bat。 It did not take Krishna long to respond。 He sent Yudhishthira； Arjuna's brother； with a message。 He would meet us at the edge of Vrindavana where we had entered the woods。 If we did not know how to find it； Yudhishthira would show us the way。 He had only two conditions。 That we not harm Radha； and that he get to choose the form of bat。 Yaksha sent Yudhishthira back saying that he accepted the challenge。 It may have been that we should have first asked Yudhishthira which way to go。 The woods were like a maze； and Radha was not talking。 Yet she did not seem afraid。 Occasionally she would glance my way and smile with such calm assurance that it was I who knew fear。
Yaksha was ecstatic。 He did not believe any mortal could beat him at any form of bat。 By such a pronouncement he appeared to discount the stories concerning Krishna's divine origin。 Yet when I asked him about that； he did not answer me。 He had a light in his eyes； though。 He said that he had been born for this moment。 Personally； I was fearful of a trick。 Krishna had a reputation for being mischievous。 Yaksha brushed aside my concerns。 He would destroy Krishna； he said； then he would make Radha a vampire。 She would be his consort。 I did not feel jealous。 I did not think it would happen。
Eventually we found our way back to the place where we had entered the forest。 We remembered the spot because there was a huge pit in the ground。 Apparently Krishna intended to use this pit when he challenged Yaksha。 His people were gathered about it when we came out of the woods。 Yet they made no attempt to attack us； although our numb