〃What's the matter？〃 asked Sonia； dreadfully frightened。
He could not utter a word。 This was not at all； not at all the way
he had intended to 〃tell〃 and he did not understand what was happening
to him now。 She went up to him； softly； sat down on the bed beside him
and waited； not taking her eyes off him。 Her heart throbbed and
sank。 It was unendurable； he turned his deadly pale face to her。 His
lips worked； helplessly struggling to utter something。 A pang of
terror passed through Sonia's heart。
〃What's the matter？〃 she repeated； drawing a little away from him。
〃Nothing； Sonia； don't be frightened。。。。 It's nonsense。 It really is
nonsense； if you think of it；〃 he muttered； like a man in delirium。
〃Why have I come to torture you？〃 he added suddenly； looking at her。
〃Why； really？ I keep asking myself that question； Sonia。。。。〃
He had perhaps been asking himself that question a quarter of an
hour before； but now he spoke helplessly； hardly knowing what he
said and feeling a continual tremor all over。
〃Oh； how you are suffering！〃 she muttered in distress； looking
intently at him。
〃It's all nonsense。。。。 Listen； Sonia。〃 He suddenly smiled； a pale
helpless smile for two seconds。 〃You remember what I meant to tell you
yesterday？〃
Sonia waited uneasily。
〃I said as I went away that perhaps I was saying good…bye for
ever； but that if I came to…day I would tell you who。。。 who killed
Lizaveta。〃
She began trembling all over。
〃Well； here I've come to tell you。〃
〃Then you really meant it yesterday？〃 she whispered with difficulty。
〃How do you know？〃 she asked quickly； as though suddenly regaining her
reason。
Sonia's face grew paler and paler； and she breathed painfully。
〃I know。〃
She paused a minute。
〃Have they found him？〃 she asked timidly。
〃No。〃
〃Then how do you know about it？〃 she asked again； hardly audibly and
again after a minute's pause。
He turned to her and looked very intently at her。
〃Guess；〃 he said； with the same distorted helpless smile。
A shudder passed over her。
〃But you。。。 why do you frighten me like this？〃 she said； smiling
like a child。
〃I must be a great friend of his。。。 since I know；〃 Raskolnikov
went on； still gazing into her face； as though he could not turn his
eyes away。 〃He。。。 did not mean to kill that Lizaveta。。。 he。。。 killed
her accidentally。。。。 He meant to kill the old woman when she was alone
and he went there。。。 and then Lizaveta came in。。。 he killed her too。〃
Another awful moment passed。 Both still gazed at one another。
〃You can't guess； then？〃 he asked suddenly； feeling as though he
were flinging himself down from a steeple。
〃N…no。。。〃 whispered Sonia。
〃Take a good look。〃
As soon as he had said this again； the same familiar sensation froze
his heart。 He looked at her and all at once seemed to see in her
face the face of Lizaveta。 He remembered clearly the expression in
Lizaveta's face； when he approached her with the axe and she stepped
back to the wall； putting out her hand； with childish terror in her
face； looking as little children do when they begin to be frightened
of something； looking intently and uneasily at what frightens them；
shrinking back and holding out their little hands on the point of
crying。 Almost the same thing happened now to Sonia。 With the same
helplessness and the same terror； she looked at him for a while and；
suddenly putting out her left hand； pressed her fingers faintly
against his breast and slowly began to get up from the bed； moving
further from him and keeping her eyes fixed even more immovably on
him。 Her terror infected him。 The same fear showed itself on his face。
In the same way he stared at her and almost with the same childish
smile。
〃Have you guessed？〃 he whispered at last。
〃Good God！〃 broke in an awful wail from her bosom。
She sank helplessly on the bed with her face in the pillows； but a
moment later she got up； moved quickly to him； seized both his hands
and； gripping them tight in her thin fingers； began looking into his
face again with the same intent stare。 In this last desperate look she
tried to look into him and catch some last hope。 But there was no
hope； there was no doubt remaining； it was all true！ Later on； indeed；
when she recalled that moment； she thought it strange and wondered why
she had seen at once that there was no doubt。 She could not have said；
for instance； that she had foreseen something of the sort… and yet
now； as soon as he told her； she suddenly fancied that she had
really foreseen this very thing。
〃Stop； Sonia； enough！ don't torture me；〃 he begged her miserably。
It was not at all； not at all like this he had thought of telling
her； but this is how it happened。
She jumped up； seeming not to know what she was doing； and； wringing
her hands； walked into the middle of the room； but； quickly went
back and sat down again beside him； her shoulder almost touching
his。 All of a sudden she started as though she had been stabbed；
uttered a cry and fell on her knees before him； she did not know why。
〃What have you done… what have you done to yourself！〃 she said in
despair； and； jumping up； she flung herself on his neck； threw her
arms round him； and held him tight。
Raskolnikov drew back and looked at her with a mournful smile。
〃You are a strange girl； Sonia… you kiss me and hug me when I tell
you about that。。。。 You don't think what you are doing。〃
〃There is no one… no one in the whole world now so unhappy as
you！〃 she cried in a frenzy； not hearing what he said； and she
suddenly broke into violent hysterical weeping。
A feeling long unfamiliar to him flooded his heart and softened it
at once。 He did not struggle against it。 Two tears started into his
eyes and hung on his eyelashes。
〃Then you won't leave me； Sonia？〃 he said； looking at her almost
with hope。
〃No； no； never； nowhere！〃 cried Sonia。 〃I will follow you； I will
follow you everywhere。 Oh； my God！ Oh； how miserable I am！。。。 Why； why
didn't I know you before！ Why didn't you come before？ Oh； dear！〃
〃Here I have come。〃
〃Yes； now！ What's to be done now！。。。 Together； together！〃 she
repeated as it were unconsciously； and she hugged him again。 〃I'll
follow you to Siberia！〃
He recoiled at this； and the same hostile； almost haughty smile came
to his lips。
〃Perhaps I don't want to go to Siberia yet； Sonia；〃 he said。
Sonia looked at him quickly。
Again after her first passionate； agonising sympathy for the unhappy
man the terrible idea of the murder overwhelmed her。 In his changed
tone she seemed to hear the murderer speaking。 She looked at him
bewildered。 She knew nothing as yet； why； how； with what object it had
been。 Now all these questions rushed at once into her mind。 And
again she could not believe it： 〃H