paz- 第12部分

sarcastic　look　in　his　eyes　which　made　Clementine　thoughtful　and

uneasy。



〃Good…by　to　the　young　trees　of　this　beautiful　Bois；　which　you

Parisians　love；　and　the　exiles　who　find　a　home　here　love　too；〃　he

said；　presently。　〃My　eyes　will　never　again　see　the　evergreens　of　the

avenue　de　Mademoiselle；　nor　the　acacias　nor　the　cedars　of　the　rond…

points。　On　the　borders　of　Asia；　fighting　for　the　Emperor；　promoted　to

the　command；　perhaps；　by　force　of　courage　and　by　risking　my　life；　it

may　happen　that　I　shall　regret　these　Champs…Elysees　where　I　have

driven　beside　you；　and　where　you　pass。　Yes；　I　shall　grieve　for

Malaga's　hardnessthe　Malaga　of　whom　I　am　now　speaking。〃



This　was　said　in　a　manner　that　made　Clementine　tremble。



〃Then　you　do　love　Malaga　very　much？〃　she　asked。



〃I　have　sacrificed　for　her　the　honor　that　no　man　should　ever

sacrifice。〃



〃What　honor？〃



〃That　which　we　desire　to　keep　at　any　cost　in　the　eyes　of　our　idol。〃



After　that　reply　Thaddeus　said　no　more；　he　was　silent　until；　as　they

passed　a　wooden　building　on　the　Champs　Elysees；　he　said；　pointing　to

it；　〃That　is　the　Circus。〃



He　went　to　the　Russian　Embassy　before　dinner；　and　thence　to　the

Foreign　office；　and　the　next　morning　he　had　started　for　Havre　before

the　count　and　countess　were　up。



〃I　have　lost　a　friend；〃　said　Adam；　with　tears　in　his　eyes；　when　he

heard　that　Paz　had　gone；〃a　friend　in　the　true　meaning　of　the　word。　I

don't　know　what　has　made　him　abandon　me　as　if　a　pestilence　were　in　my

house。　We　are　not　friends　to　quarrel　about　a　woman；〃　he　said；　looking

intently　at　Clementine。　〃You　heard　what　he　said　yesterday　about

Malaga。　Well；　he　has　never　so　much　as　touched　the　little　finger　of

that　girl。〃



〃How　do　you　know　that？〃　said　Clementine。



〃I　had　the　natural　curiosity　to　go　and　see　Mademoiselle　Turquet；　and

the　poor　girl　can't　explain　even　to　herself　the　absolute　reserve　which

Thad〃



〃Enough！〃　said　the　countess；　retreating　into　her　bedroom。　〃Can　it　be

that　I　am　the　victim　of　some　noble　mystification？〃　she　asked　herself。

The　thought　had　hardly　crossed　her　mind　when　Constantin　brought　her

the　following　letter　written　by　Thaddeus　during　the　night：



　　〃Countess；To　seek　death　in　the　Caucasus　and　carry　with　me　your

　　contempt　is　more　than　I　can　bear。　A　man　should　die　untainted。　When

　　I　saw　you　for　the　first　time　I　loved　you　as　we　love　a　woman　whom

　　we　shall　love　forever；　even　though　she　be　unfaithful　to　us。　I

　　loved　you　thus；I；　the　friend　of　the　man　you　had　chosen　and　were

　　about　to　marry；　I；　poor；　I；　the　steward；a　voluntary　service；　but

　　still　the　steward　of　your　household。



　　〃In　this　immense　misfortune　I　found　a　happy　life。　To　be　to　you　an

　　indispensable　machine；　to　know　myself　useful　to　your　comfort；　your

　　luxury；　has　been　the　source　of　deep　enjoyments。　If　these

　　enjoyments　were　great　when　I　thought　only　of　Adam；　think　what　they

　　were　to　my　soul　when　the　woman　I　loved　was　the　mainspring　of　all　I

　　did。　I　have　known　the　pleasures　of　maternity　in　my　love。　I

　　accepted　life　thus。　Like　the　paupers　who　live　along　the　great

　　highways；　I　built　myself　a　hut　on　the　borders　of　your　beautiful

　　domain；　though　I　never　sought　to　approach　you。　Poor　and　lonely；

　　struck　blind　by　Adam's　good　fortune；　I　was；　nevertheless；　the

　　giver。　Yes；　you　were　surrounded　by　a　love　as　pure　as　a　guardian…

　　angel's；　it　waked　while　you　slept；　it　caressed　you　with　a　look　as

　　you　passed；　it　was　happy　in　its　own　existence；you　were　the　sun

　　of　my　native　land　to　me；　poor　exile；　who　now　writes　to　you　with

　　tears　in　his　eyes　as　he　thinks　of　the　happiness　of　those　first

　　days。



　　〃When　I　was　eighteen　years　old；　having　no　one　to　love；　I　took　for

　　my　ideal　mistress　a　charming　woman　in　Warsaw；　to　whom　I　confided

　　all　my　thoughts；　my　wishes；　I　made　her　the　queen　of　my　nights　and

　　days。　She　knew　nothing　of　all　this；　why　should　she？　I　loved　my

　　love。



　　〃You　can　fancy　from　this　incident　of　my　youth　how　happy　I　was

　　merely　to　live　in　the　sphere　of　your　existence；　to　groom　your

　　horse；　to　find　the　new…coined　gold　for　your　purse；　to　prepare　the

　　splendor　of　your　dinners　and　your　balls；　to　see　you　eclipsing　the

　　elegance　of　those　whose　fortunes　were　greater　than　yours；　and　all

　　by　my　own　good　management。　Ah！　with　what　ardor　I　have　ransacked

　　Paris　when　Adam　would　say　to　me；　'SHE　wants　this　or　that。'　It　was

　　a　joy　such　as　I　can　never　express　to　you。　You　wished　for　a　trifle

　　at　one　time　which　kept　me　seven　hours　in　a　cab　scouring　the　city；

　　and　what　delight　it　was　to　weary　myself　for　you。　Ah！　when　I　saw

　　you；　unseen　by　you；　smiling　among　your　flowers；　I　could　forget

　　that　no　one　loved　me。　On　certain　days；　when　my　happiness　turned　my

　　head；　I　went　at　night　and　kissed　the　spot　where；　to　me；　your　feet

　　had　left　their　luminous　traces。　The　air　you　had　breathed　was

　　balmy；　in　it　I　breathed　in　more　of　life；　I　inhaled；　as　they　say

　　persons　do　in　the　tropics；　a　vapor　laden　with　creative　principles。



　　〃I　MUST　tell　you　these　things　to　explain　the　strange　presumption

　　of　my　involuntary　thoughts；I　would　have　died　rather　than　avow　it

　　until　now。



　　〃You　will　remember　those　few　days　of　curiosity　when　you　wished　to

　　know　the　man　who　performed　the　household　miracles　you　had

　　sometimes　noticed。　I　thought；forgive　me；　madame；I　believed　you

　　might　love　me。　Your　good…will；　your　glances　interpreted　by　me；　a

　　lover；　seemed　to　me　so　dangerousfor　methat　I　invented　that

　　story　of　Malaga；　knowing　it　was　the　sort　of　liaison　which　women

　　cannot　forgive。　I　did　it　in　a　moment　when　I　felt　that　my　love

　　would　be　communicated；　fatally；　to　you。　Despise　me；　crush　me　with

　　the　contempt　you　have　so　often　cast　upon　me　when　I　did　not　deserve

　　it；　and　yet　I　am　certain　that；　if；　on　that　evening　when　your　aunt

　　took　Adam　away　from　you；　I　had　said　what　I　have　now　written　to

　　you；　I　should；　like　the　tamed　tiger　that　sets　his　teeth　once　more

　　in　living　flesh；　and　scents　the　blood；　and



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Midnight。



　　〃I　could　not　go　on；　the　memory　of　that　hour　is　still　too　living。

　　Yes；　I　was　maddened。　Was　there　hope　for　me　in　your　eyes？　then

　　victory　with　its　scarlet　banners　would　have　flamed　in　mine　and

　　fascinated　yours。　My　crime　has　been　to　think　all　this；　perhaps

　　wrongly。　You　alone　can　judge　of　that　dreadful　scene　when　I　drove

　　back　love；　desire；　all　the　most　invincible　forces　of　our　manhood；

　　with　the　cold　hand　of　gratitude；gratitude　which　must　be　eternal。



　　〃Your　terrible　contempt　has　been　my　punishment。　You　have　shown　me

　　there　is　no　return　from　loathing　or　disdain。　I　love　you　madly。　I

　　should　have　gone　had　Adam　died；　all　the　more　must　I　go　because　he

　　lives。　A　man　does　not　tear　his　friend　from　the　arms　of　death　to

　　betray　him。　Besides；　my　going　is　my　punishment　for　the　thought　

　　that　came　to　me　that　I　would　let　him　die；　when　the　doctors　said

　　that　his　life　depended　on　his　nursing。



　　〃Adieu；　madame；　in　leaving　Paris　I　lose　all；　but　you　lose　nothing

　　now　in　my　being　no　longer　near　you。



〃Your　devoted

〃Thaddeus　Paz。〃





〃If　my　poor　Adam　says　he　has　lost　a　friend；　what　have　I　lost？〃　thought

Clementine；　sinking　into　a　chair　with　her　eyes　fixed　on　the　carpet。



The　following　letter　Constantin　had　orders　to　give　privately　to　the

count：



　　〃My　dear　Adam；Malaga　has　told　me　all。　In　the　name　of　all　your

　　future　happiness；　never　let　a　word　escape　you　to　Clementine　about

　　your　visits　to　that　girl；　let　her　think　that　Malaga　has　cost　me　a

　　hundred　thousand　francs。　I　know　Clementine's　character；　she　will

　　never　forgive　you　either　your　losses　at　cards　or　your　visits　to

　　Malaga。



　　〃I　am　not　going　to　Khiva；　but　to　the　Caucasus。　I　have　the　spleen；

　　and　at　the　pace　at　which　I　mean　to　go　I　shall　be　either　Prince　Paz

　　in　three　years；　or　dead。　Good…by；　though　I　have　taken　sixty…

　　thousand　francs　from　Nucingen；　our　accounts　are　even。



〃Thaddeus。〃





〃Idiot　that　I　was；〃　thought　Adam；　〃I　came　near　to　cutting　my　throat

just　now；　talking　about　Malaga。〃



It　is　now　three　years　since　Paz　went　away。　The　newspapers　have　as　yet

said　nothing　about　any　Prince　Paz。　The　Comtesse　Laginska　is　immensely

interested　in　the　expeditions　of　the　Emperor　Nicholas；　she　is　Russian

to　the　core；　and　reads　with　a　sort　of　avidity　all　the　news　that　comes

from　that　distant　land。　Once　or　twice　every　winter　she　says　to　the

Russian　ambassador；　with　an　air　of　indifference；　〃Do　you　know　what　has

become　of　our　poor　Comte　Paz？〃



Alas！　most　Parisian　women；　those　beings　who　think　themselves　so　clever

and　clear…sighted；　pass　and　repass　beside　a　Paz　and　never　recognize

him。　Yes；　many　a　Paz　is　unknown　and　misconceived；　buthorrible　to

think　of！some　are　misconceived　even　though　they　are　loved。　The

simplest　women　in　society　exact　a　certain　amount　of　conventional　sham

from　the　greatest　men。　A　noble　love　signifies