asked for cherry brandy； a liqueur which I keep； but is seldom demanded。
Then the monster； with great politeness； invited me to partake
of a vermouth before my dinner； and we fell into conversation。
He had apparently crossed from Kent by a small boat got at a private
bargain because of some odd fancy he had for passing promptly in an
easterly direction； and not waiting for any of the official boats。
He was； he somewhat vaguely explained； looking for a house。 When I
naturally asked him where the house was； he answered that he did not know；
it was on an island； it was somewhere to the east； or； as he expressed
it with a hazy and yet impatient gesture； ‘over there。'
〃I asked him how； if he did not know the place； he would know it when he
saw it。 Here he suddenly ceased to be hazy； and became alarmingly minute。
He gave a description of the house detailed enough for an auctioneer。
I have forgotten nearly all the details except the last two； which were
that the lamp…post was painted green； and that there was a red pillar…box
at the corner。
〃‘A red pillar…box！' I cried in astonishment。 ‘Why； the place must
be in England！'
〃‘I had forgotten；' he said； nodding heavily。 ‘That is the island's name。'
〃‘But； ~nom du nom~；' I cried testily； ‘you've just come
from England； my boy。'
〃‘They SAID it was England；' said my imbecile； conspiratorially。
‘They said it was Kent。 But Kentish men are such liars one can't
believe anything they say。'
〃‘Monsieur；' I said； ‘you must pardon me。 I am elderly；
and the ~fumisteries~ of the young men are beyond me。
I go by common sense； or； at the largest； by that extension
of applied common sense called science。'
〃‘Science！' cried the stranger。 ‘There is only one good things
science ever discovereda good thing； good tidings of great joy
that the world is round。'
〃I told him with civility that his words conveyed no impression
to my intelligence。 ‘I mean；' he said； ‘that going right round
the world is the shortest way to where you are already。'
〃‘Is it not even shorter；' I asked； ‘to stop where you are？'
〃‘No； no； no！' he cried emphatically。 ‘That way is long and very weary。
At the end of the world； at the back of the dawn； I shall find
the wife I really married and the house that is really mine。
And that house will have a greener lamp…post and a redder pillar…box。
Do you；' he asked with a sudden intensity； ‘do you never want to rush
out of your house in order to find it？'
〃‘No； I think not；' I replied； ‘reason tells a man from
the first to adapt his desires to the probable supply of life。
I remain here； content to fulfil the life of man。
All my interests are here； and most of my friends； and'
〃‘And yet；' he cried； starting to his almost terrific height；
‘you made the French Revolution！'
〃‘Pardon me；〃 I said； ‘I am not quite so elderly。
A relative perhaps。'
〃‘I mean your sort did！' exclaimed this personage。
‘Yes； your damned smug； settled； sensible sort made
the French Revolution。 Oh！ I know some say it was no good；
and you're just back where you were before。 Why； blast it all；
that's just where we all want to beback where we were before！
That is revolutiongoing right round！ Every revolution；
like a repentance； is a return。'
〃He was so excited that I waited till he had taken his seat again；
and then said something indifferent and soothing； but he struck
the tiny table with his colossal fist and went on。
〃‘I am going to have a revolution； not a French Revolution； but an
English Revolution。 God has given to each tribe its own type of mutiny。
The Frenchmen march against the citadel of the city together； the Englishman
marches to the outskirts of the town； and alone。 But I am going to turn
the world upside down； too。 I'm going to turn myself upside down。
I'm going to walk upside down in the cursed upsidedownland of the Antipodes；
where trees and men hang head downward in the sky。 But my revolution；
like yours； like the earth's； will end up in the holy； happy place
the celestial； incredible placethe place where we were before。'
〃With these remarks； which can scarcely be reconciled with reason；
he leapt from the seat and strode away into the twilight；
swinging his pole and leaving behind him an excessive payment；
which also pointed to some loss of mental balance。
This is all I know of the episode of the man landed from the
fishing…boat； and I hope it may serve the interests of justice。
Accept； Sir； the assurances of the very high consideration；
with which I have the honour to be your obedient servant；
〃Jules Durobin。〃
〃The next document in our dossier；〃 continued Inglewood；
〃comes from the town of Crazok； in the central plains of Russia；
and runs as follows：
〃Sir；My name is Paul Nickolaiovitch： I am the stationmaster
at the station near Crazok。 The great trains go by across
the plains taking people to China； but very few people get
down at the platform where I have to watch。 This makes my life
rather lonely； and I am thrown back much upon the books I have。
But I cannot discuss these very much with my neighbours；
for enlightened ideas have not spread in this part of Russia
so much as in other parts。 Many of the peasants round here
have never heard of Bernard Shaw。
〃I am a Liberal； and do my best to spread Liberal ideas； but since
the failure of the revolution this has been even more difficult。
The revolutionists committed many acts contrary to the pure principles
of humanitarianism； with which indeed； owing to the scarcity of books；
they were ill acquainted。 I did not approve of these cruel acts；
though provoked by the tyranny of the government； but now there
is a tendency to reproach all Intelligents with the memory of them。
This is very unfortunate for Intelligents。
〃It was when the railway strike was almost over； and a few trains
came through at long intervals； that I stood one day watching
a train that had come in。 Only one person got out of the train；
far away up at the other end of it； for it was a very long train。
It was evening； with a cold； greenish sky。 A little snow had fallen；
but not enough to whiten the plain； which stretched away a sort
of sad purple in all directions； save where the flat tops
of some distant tablelands caught the evening light like lakes。
As the solitary man came stamping along on the thin snow by the train
he grew larger and larger； I thought I had never seen so large a man。
But he looked even taller than he was； I think； because his
shoulders were very big and his head comparatively little。
From the big shoulders hung a tattered old jacket； striped dull
red and dirty white； very thin for the winter； and one hand rested
on a huge pole such as peasants rake in weeds with to burn them。
〃Before he had traversed the full length of the train he was entangled in one
of those knots of rowdies that were the embers of the extinct revolution；
though they mostly disgraced themselves upon the government side。
I was just moving to his assistance； when he whirled up his rake and laid
out right and left with such energy that he came through them without scathe
and strode right up to me； leaving them staggered and really astonished。
〃Yet when he reached me； after so abrupt an assertion of his aim；
he could only say rather dubiously in French that he wanted a house。
〃‘There are not many houses to be had round here；' I answered
in the same language； ‘the district has been very disturbed。
A revolution； as you know； has recently been suppressed。
Any further building'
〃‘Oh！ I don't mean that；' he cried； ‘I mean a real housea live house。
It really is a live house； for it runs away from me。'
〃‘I am ashamed to say that something in his phrase or gesture
moved me profoundly。 We Russians are brought up in an atmosphere
of folk…lore； and its unfortunate effects can still be seen
in the bright colours of the children's dolls and of the ikons。
For an instant the idea of a house running away from a man gave
me pleasure； for the enlightenment of man moves slowly。
〃‘Have you no other house of your own？' I asked。
〃‘I have left it；' he said very sadly。 ‘It was not the house that grew dull；
but I that grew dull in it。 My wife was better than all women； and yet I
could not feel it。'
〃‘And so；' I said with sympathy； ‘you walked straight out of the front door；
like a masculine Nora。'
〃‘Nora？' he inquired politely； apparently supposing it to be a Russian word。
〃‘I mean Nora in 〃The Doll's House；〃' I replied。
〃At this he looked very much astonished； and I knew he was an Englishman；
for Englishmen always think that Russians study nothing but ‘ukases。'
〃‘〃The Doll's House〃？' he cried vehemently； ‘why； that is just where Ibsen
was so wrong！ Why； the whole aim of a house is to be a doll's house。
Don't you remember； when you were a child； how those little windows
WERE windows； while the big windows weren't。 A child has a doll's house；
and shrieks when a front door opens inwards。 A banker has a real house；
yet how numerous are the bankers who fail to emit the faintest shriek
when their real front doors open inwards。'
〃Something from the folk…lore of my i