you going？ Down town？ Why can't you step into my carriage； and I'll
give you a lift； and we'll talk on the way down？ Wellhe's at the theatre
yet。 And anddo you remember the 'Destruction of Sennacherib？' No？
Yes you do。 You remember that woman in pink； who pirouetted in the
famous ballet scene！ You don't？ Why； yes you do！ Well； I imagine； of
course I don't know； it's only a summary diagnosis； but I imagine that our
friend with the aneurism has attached himself to her。〃
〃Doctor； you horrify me。〃
〃There are more things； Mr。 Poet； in heaven and earth than are yet
dreamt of in your philosophy。 Listen。 My diagnosis may be wrong； but
that woman called the other day at my office to ask about him； his health；
and general condition。 I told her the truthand she FAINTED。 It was
about as dead a faint as I ever saw； I was nearly an hour in bringing her
out of it。 Of course it was the heat of the room； her exertions the
preceding week； and I prescribed for her。 Queer； wasn't it？ Now； if I
were a writer； and had your faculty； I'd make something out of that。〃
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〃But how is his general health？〃
〃Oh； about the same。 He can't evade what will come； you know； at
any moment。 He was up here the other day。 Why； the pulsation was as
plainwhy； the entire arch of the aorta What！ you get out here？
Good…by。〃
Of course no moralist； no man writing for a sensitive and strictly
virtuous public； could further interest himself in this man。 So I dismissed
him at once from my mind； and returned to the literary contemplation of
virtue that was clearly and positively defined； and of Sin； that invariably
commenced with a capital letter。 That this man； in his awful condition；
hovering on the verge of eternity； should allow himself to be attracted by
but it was horrible to contemplate。
Nevertheless； a month afterwards； I was returning from a festivity with
my intimate friend Smith； my distinguished friend Jobling； my most
respectable friend Robinson； and my wittiest friend Jones。 It was a clear；
star…lit morning； and we seemed to hold the broad； beautiful avenue to
ourselves； and I fear we acted as if it were so。 As we hilariously passed
the corner of Eighteenth Street； a coupe rolled by； and I suddenly heard my
name called from its gloomy depths。
〃I beg your pardon；〃 said the Doctor； as his driver drew up by the
sidewalk； 〃but I've some news for you。 I've just been to see our poor
friend 。 Of course I was too late。 He was gone in a flash。〃
〃What！ dead？〃
〃As Pharaoh！ In an instant； just as I said。 You see； the rupture took
place in the descending arch of〃
〃But； Doctor！〃
〃It's a queer story。 Am I keeping you from your friends？ No？ Well；
you see shethat woman I spoke ofhad written a note to him based on
what I had told her。 He got it； and dropped in his dressing…room； dead as
a herring。〃
〃How could she have been so cruel； knowing his condition？ She
might； with woman's tact； have rejected him less abruptly。〃
〃Yes； but you're all wrong。 By Jove！ she ACCEPTED him！ was
willing to marry him！〃
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〃What？〃
〃Yes。 Don't you see？ It was joy that killed him。 Gad； we never
thought of THAT！ Queer； ain't it？ See here； don't you think you might
make a story out of it？〃
〃But； Doctor； it hasn't got any moral。〃
〃Humph！ That's so。 Good morning。 Drive on； John。〃
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MY FRIEND； THE TRAMP
I had been sauntering over the clover downs of a certain noted New
England seaport。 It was a Sabbath morning； so singularly reposeful and
gracious； so replete with the significance of the seventh day of rest； that
even the Sabbath bells ringing a mile away over the salt marshes had little
that was monitory； mandatory； or even supplicatory in their drowsy voices。
Rather they seemed to call from their cloudy towers； like some renegade
muezzin： 〃Sleep is better than prayer； sleep on； O sons of the Puritans！
Slumber still； O deacons and vestrymen！ Let； oh let those feet that are
swift to wickedness curl up beneath thee！ those palms that are itching for
the shekels of the ungodly lie clasped beneath thy pillow！ Sleep is better
than prayer。〃
And； indeed； though it was high morning； sleep was still in the air。
Wrought upon at last by the combined influences of sea and sky and
atmosphere； I succumbed； and lay down on one of the boulders of a little
stony slope that gave upon the sea。 The great Atlantic lay before me； not
yet quite awake； but slowly heaving the rhythmical expiration of slumber。
There was no sail visible in the misty horizon。 There was nothing to do
but to lie and stare at the unwinking ether。
Suddenly I became aware of the strong fumes of tobacco。 Turning
my head； I saw a pale blue smoke curling up from behind an adjacent
boulder。 Rising； and climbing over the intermediate granite； I came upon
a little hollow； in which； comfortably extended on the mosses and lichens；
lay a powerfully…built man。 He was very ragged； he was very dirty； there
was a strong suggestion about him of his having too much hair； too much
nail； too much perspiration； too much of those superfluous excrescences
and exudations that society and civilization strive to keep under。 But it
was noticeable that he had not much of anything else。 It was The Tramp。
With that swift severity with which we always visit rebuke upon the
person who happens to present any one of our vices offensively before us；
in his own person； I was deeply indignant at his laziness。 Perhaps I
showed it in my manner； for he rose to a half… sitting attitude； returned my
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stare apologetically； and made a movement toward knocking the fire from
his pipe against the granite。
〃Shure； sur； and if I'd belaved that I was trispassin on yer honor's
grounds； it's meself that would hev laid down on the say shore and takin'
the salt waves for me blankits。 But it's sivinteen miles I've walked this
blessed noight； with nothin' to sustain me； and hevin' a mortal wakeness to
fight wid in me bowels； by reason of starvation； and only a bit o' baccy
that the Widdy Maloney gi' me at the cross roads； to kape me up entoirley。
But it was the dark day I left me home in Milwaukee to walk to Boston；
and if ye'll oblige a lone man who has left a wife and six children in
Milwaukee； wid the loan of twenty…five cints； furninst the time he gits
worruk； God'll be good to ye。〃
It instantly flashed through my mind that the man before me had the
previous night partaken of the kitchen hospitality of my little cottage； two
miles away。 That he presented himself in the guise of a distressed
fisherman； mulcted of his wages by an inhuman captain； that he had a wife
lying sick of consumption in the next village； and two children； one of
whom was a cripple； wandering in the streets of Boston。 I remembered
that this tremendous indictment against Fortune touched the family； and
that the distressed fisherman was provided with clothes； food； and some
small change。 The food and small change had disappeared； but the
garments for the consumptive wife； where were they？ He had been using
them for a pillow。
I instantly pointed out this fact； and charged him with the deception。
To my surprise； he took it quietly； and even a little complacently。
〃Bedad； yer roight； ye see； sur〃 （confidentially）； 〃ye see； sur； until I get
worru