household had always tried to keep him straight。 The children； he said；
had fallen into the habit of calling it 〃dusting papa off。〃 Then he went
on：
When my daughter came to see me off last Saturday at the boat she
slipped a note in my hand and said； 〃Read it when you get aboard the
ship。〃 I didn't think of it again until day before yesterday； and
it was a 〃dusting off。〃 And if I carry out all the instructions
that I got there I shall be more celebrated in England for my
behavior than for anything else。 I got instructions how to act on
every occasion。 She underscored 〃Now； don't you wear white clothes
on ship or on shore until you get back；〃 and I intended to obey。 I
have been used to obeying my family all my life； but I wore the
white clothes to…night because the trunk that has the dark clothes
in it is in the cellar。 I am not apologizing for the white clothes；
I am only apologizing to my daughter for not obeying her。
He received a great welcome when the ship arrived at Tilbury。 A throng
of rapid…fire reporters and photographers immediately surrounded him； and
when he left the ship the stevedores gave him a round of cheers。 It was
the beginning of that almost unheard…of demonstration of affection and
honor which never for a moment ceased； but augmented from day to day
during the four weeks of his English sojourn。
In a dictation following his return； Mark Twain said：
Who began it？ The very people of all people in the world whom I
would have chosen： a hundred men of my own classgrimy sons of
labor； the real builders of empires and civilizations； the
stevedores！ They stood in a body on the dock and charged their
masculine lungs； and gave me a welcome which went to the marrow of
me。
J。 Y。 W。 MacAlister was at the St。 Pancras railway station to meet him；
and among others on the platform was Bernard Shaw； who had come down to
meet Professor Henderson。 Clemens and Shaw were presented； and met
eagerly； for each greatly admired the other。 A throng gathered。 Mark
Twain was extricated at last； and hurried away to his apartments at
Brown's Hotel； 〃a placid； subdued； homelike； old…fashioned English inn；〃
he called it； 〃well known to me years ago； a blessed retreat of a sort
now rare in England； and becoming rarer every year。〃
But Brown's was not placid and subdued during his stay。 The London
newspapers declared that Mark Twain's arrival had turned Brown's not only
into a royal court； but a post…officethat the procession of visitors
and the bundles of mail fully warranted this statement。 It was； in fact；
an experience which surpassed in general magnitude and magnificence
anything he had hitherto known。 His former London visits； beginning with
that of 1872； had been distinguished by high attentions； but all of them
combined could not equal this。 When England decides to get up an
ovation； her people are not to be outdone even by the lavish Americans。
An assistant secretary had to be engaged immediately； and it sometimes
required from sixteen to twenty hours a day for two skilled and busy men
to receive callers and reduce the pile of correspondence。
A pile of invitations had already accumulated； and others flowed in。
Lady Stanley； widow of Henry M。 Stanley； wrote：
You know I want to see you and join right hand to right hand。 I
must see your dear face again 。 。 。 。 You will have no peace；
rest； or leisure during your stay in London； and you will end by
hating human beings。 Let me come before you feel that way。
Mary Cholmondeley； the author of Red Pottage； niece of that lovable
Reginald Cholmondeley； and herself an old friend； sent greetings and
urgent invitations。 Archdeacon Wilberforce wrote：
I have just been preaching about your indictment of that scoundrel
king of the Belgians and telling my people to buy the book。 I am
only a humble item among the very many who offer you a cordial
welcome in England； but we long to see you again； and I should like
to change hats with you again。 Do you remember？
The Athenaeum； the Garrick； and a dozen other London clubs had
anticipated his arrival with cards of honorary membership for the period
of his stay。 Every leading photographer had put in a claim for sittings。
It was such a reception as Charles Dickens had received in America in
1842； and again in 1867。 A London paper likened it to Voltaire's return
to Paris in 1778； when France went mad over him。 There is simply no
limit to English affection and； hospitality once aroused。 Clemens wrote：
Surely such weeks as this must be very rare in this world： I had
seen nothing like them before； I shall see nothing approaching them
again！
Sir Thomas Lipton and Bram Stoker； old friends； were among the first to
present themselves； and there was no break in the line of callers。
Clemens's resolutions for secluding himself were swept away。 On the very
next morning following his arrival he breakfasted with J。 Henniker
Heaton； father of International Penny Postage； at the Bath Club； just
across Dover Street from Brown's。 He lunched at the Ritz with Marjorie
Bowen and Miss Bisland。 In the afternoon he sat for photographs at
Barnett's； and made one or two calls。 He could no more resist these
things than a debutante in her first season。
He was breakfasting again with Heaton next morning； lunching with 〃Toby；
M。P。；〃 and Mrs。 Lucy； and having tea with Lady Stanley in the afternoon；
and being elaborately dined next day at Dorchester House by Ambassador
and Mrs。 Reid。 These were all old and tried friends。 He was not a
stranger among them； he said； he was at home。 Alfred Austin； Conan
Doyle； Anthony Hope； Alma Tadema； E。 A。 Abbey； Edmund Goss； George
Smalley； Sir Norman Lockyer； Henry W。 Lucy； Sidney Brooks； and Bram
Stoker were among those at Dorchester Houseall old comrades； as were
many of the other guests。
〃I knew fully half of those present；〃 he said afterward。
Mark Twain's bursting upon London society naturally was made the most of
by the London papers； and all his movements were tabulated and
elaborated； and when there was any opportunity for humor in the situation
it was not left unimproved。 The celebrated Ascot racing…cup was stolen
just at the time of his arrival； and the papers suggestively mingled
their head…lines； 〃Mark Twain Arrives： Ascot Cup Stolen；〃 and kept the
joke going in one form or another。 Certain state jewels and other
regalia also disappeared during his stay； and the news of these
burglaries was reported in suspicious juxtaposition with the news of Mark
Twain's doings。
English reporters adopted American habits for the occasion； and invented
or embellished when the demand for a new sensation was urgent。 Once；
when following the custom of the place； he descended the hotel elevator
in a perfectly proper and heavy brown bath robe； and stepped across
narrow Dover Street to the Bath Club； the papers flamed next day with the
story that Mark Twain had wandered about the lobby of Brown's and
promenaded Dover Street in a sky…blue bath robe attracting wide
attention。
Clara Clemens； across the ocean； was naturally a trifle disturbed by such
reports； and cabled this delicate 〃dusting off〃：
〃Much worried。 Remember proprieties。〃
To which he answered：
〃They all pattern after me；〃 a reply to the last degree characteristic。
It was on the fourth day after his arrival； June 22d； that he attended
the King's garden…party at Windsor Castle。 There were eighty…five
hundred guests at the King's party； and if we may judge from the London
newspapers； Mark Twain was quite as much a figure in that great throng as
any member of the royal family。 His presentation to the King and the
Queen is set down as an especially notable incident； and their
conversation is quite fully given。 Clemens himself reported：
His Majesty was very courteous。 In the course of the conversation
I reminded him of an episode of fifteen years ago； when I had the
honor to walk a mile with him when he was taking the waters at
Homburg； in Germany。 I said that I had often told about that
episode； and that whenever I was the historian I made good history
of it and it was worth listening to； but that it had found its way
into print once or twice in unauthentic ways and was badly damaged
thereby。 I said I should like to go on repeating this history； but
that I should be quite fair and reasonably honest； and while I
should probably never tell it twice in the same way I should at
least never allow it to deteriorate in my hands。 His Majesty
intimated his willingness that I should continue to disseminate that
piece of history； and he added a compliment； saying that he knew
good and sound history would not suffer at my hands； and that if
this good and sound history needed any improvement beyond the facts
he would trust me to furnish that improvement。
I think it is not an exaggeration to say that the Queen looked as
young and beautiful as she did thirty…five years a