town； or country； to whom Alexander Bendo wished health and prosperity。 He had come amongst them because the great metropolis of England had ever been infested by numerous quacks； whose arrogant confidence； backed by their ignorance； had enabled them to impose on the public； either by premeditated cheats in physic； chymical and galenic； in astrology； physiognomy； palmistry； mathematics； alchymy； and even government itself。 Of which latter he did not propose to discourse； or meddle with； since it in no way belonged to his trade or vocation； which he thanked God he found much more safe； equally honest； and more profitable。 But he； Alexander Bendo； had with unswerving faithfulness and untiring assiduity for years courted the arts and sciences； and had learned dark secrets and received signal favours from them。 He was therefore prepared to take part against unlearned wretches； and arrant quacks； whose impudent addresses and saucy pretences had brought scandal upon sage and learned men。
However； in a wicked world like this； where virtue was so exactly counterfeited； and hypocrisy was generally successful； it would be hard for him； a stranger； to escape censure。 But indeed he would submit to be considered a mountebank if he were discovered to be one。 Having made which statement； he proceeded to draw an ingenious comparison between a mountebank and a politician； suitable to all ages and dimes； but especially to this century and country。 Both； he intimated； are fain to supply the lack of higher abilities to which they pretend； with craft； and attract attention by undertaking strange things which can never be performed。 By both the people are pleased and deluded； the expectation of good in the future drawing their eyes from the certainty of evil in the present。
The sage Alexander Bendo then discoursed of miraculous cures which he could effect； but he would set down no word in his bill which bore an unclean sound。 It was enough that he made himself understood； but indeed he had seen physicians' bills containing things of which no man who walked warily before God could approve。 Concerning astrological predictions； physiognomy； divination by dreams； and otherwise； he would say； if it did not look like ostentation； he had seldom failed； but had often been of service； and to those who came to him he would guarantee satisfaction。 Nor would he be ashamed to avow his willingness to practise rare secrets； for the help； conservation； and augmentation of beauty and comeliness； an endowment granted for the better establishment of mutual love between man and woman； and as such highly valuable to both。 The knowledge of secrets like this he had gathered during journeys through France and Italy； in which countries he had spent his life since he was fifteen years old。 Those who had travelled in the latter country knew what a miracle art there performs in behalf of beauty； how women of forty bear the same countenance as those of fifteen； ages being in no way distinguished by appearances； whereas in England； by looking at a horse in the mouth and a woman in the face； it was possible to tell the number of their years。 He could； therefore； give such remedies as would render those who came to him perfectly fair； clearing and preserving them from all spots； freckles； pimples； marks of small…pox； or traces of accidents。 He would； moreover； cure the teeth； clear the breath； take away fatness； and add flesh。
A man who vouched to perform such wonders was not long without patients。 At first these were drawn from his immediate neighbourhood； but soon his fame reached the heart of the city。 Accordingly； many ladies of whose hospitality he had partaken； and of whose secrets he had become possessed； hurried to consult him； and the marvellous insight he betrayed regarding their past； and strange predictions he pronounced concerning their future； filled them with amazement； and occasionally with alarm。 And they； proclaiming the marvels of his wisdom； widened the circle of his reputation； until his name was spoken within the precincts of Whitehall。
Curiosity concerning so remarkable a man at once beset the minds of certain ladies at court； who either feared or expected much from the future； and were anxious to peer into such secrets as it held concerning themselves。 But dreading the notoriety their presence would naturally cause in the vicinity of Tower Street； a spot to them unknown； they； acting with a prudence not invariably characteristic of their conduct； sent their maids to ascertain from personal experience if the astrologer's wisdom was in truth as marvellous as reported。 Now； when these appeared in fear and trembling before the great Alexander Bendo； the knowledge he revealed concerning themselves； and their mistresses likewise； was so wonderful that it exceeded all expectation。 Accordingly； the maids returned to court with such testimonies concerning the lore of this star…reader； as fired afresh their mistresses' desires to see and converse with him in their proper persons。
It therefore came to pass that Miss Price and Miss Jennings； maids of honour boththe one to the queen； the other to the Duchess of Yorkboldly resolved to visit Doctor Bendo； and learn what the future held for them。 Miss Price was a lady who delighted in adventure； Miss Jennings was a gentlewoman of spirit； both looked forward to their visit with excitement and interest。 It happened one night； when the court had gone to the playhouse； these ladies； who had excused themselves from attending the queen and the duchess； dressed as orange girls； and taking baskets of fruit under their arms； quickly crossed the park； and entered a hackney…coach at Whitehall Gate。 Bidding the driver convey them to Tower Street； they rattled merrily enough over the uneven streets until they came close to the theatre； when； being in high spirits and feeling anxious to test the value of their disguise； they resolved to alight from their conveyance； enter the playhouse； and offer their wares for sale in presence of the court。
Accordingly； paying the driver； they descended from the coach； and running between the lines of chairs gathered round the theatre； gained the door。 Now； who should arrive at that moment but the beau Sidney； attired in the bravery of waving feathers； fluttering ribbons； and rich…hued velvets。 And as he paused to adjust his curls to his greater satisfaction before entering the playhouse； Miss Price went boldly forward and asked him to buy her fine oranges； but so engaged was he in his occupation； that he did not deign to make reply； but passed into the theatre without turning his glance upon her。 Miss Jennings； however； fared somewhat differently； and with less satisfaction to herself； for； perceiving another courtier； none other than Tom Killigrew； a rare wit and lover of pleasure； she went up to him and offered her fruit for sale。 These he declined to buy； but chucking her under the chin； and glancing at her with an air of familiarity； invited her to bring her oranges to his lodgings next morning。 On this Miss Jennings； who was as virtuous as lovely； pushed him away with violence； and forgetting the character she assumed； commenced rebuking his insolence； much to the amusement and surprise of the bystanders。 Fearing detection of their identity； Miss Price pulled her forcibly away from the crowd。
Miss Jennings was after this incident anxious to forego her visit to the astrologer； and return to Whitehall； but her companion declaring this would be a shameful want of spirit； they once more entered a hackney…coach； and requested they might be driven to the lodgings of the learned Doctor Bendo。 Their adventures for the evening were unfortunately not yet at an end； for just as they entered Tower Street they saw Henry Brinker； one of the gentlemen of the bedchamber to the Duke of York。 Now it happened this courtier had been dining with a citizen of worth and wealth； whose house he was about to leave the moment the maids of honour drove by。 They； knowing him to be a man remarkable for his gallantries； were anxious to avoid his observation； and therefore directed the driver to proceed a few doors beyond their destination； but he； having caught sight of two pretty orange wenches； followed the coach and promptly stepping up as they alighted； made some bold observations to them。 On this both turned away their heads that they might avoid his gaze； a proceeding which caused him to observe them with closer scrutiny； when he immediately recognised them； without however intimating his knowledge。 He therefore fell to teasing them； and finally left them with no very pleasant remarks ringing in their ears； concerning the virtue which obtained among maids of honour； for he did not doubt their disguise was assumed for purposes of intrigue。
Overwhelmed with confusion； they walked towards the goldsmith's shop； over which the oracle delivered wisdom； but being no longer in a humour to heed his words； they presently resolved on driving back to Whitehall with all possible speed。 But alas！ on turning round they beheld their driver waging war with a crowd which had gathered about his vehicle； for having left their oranges in the coach； some boys had essayed to help themselves； wh