we two- 第54部分

〃Are　you　fond　of　knitting？〃　asked　her　aunt；　making　room　for　her　on　the　sofa；　and　much　relieved　to　find　that　her　niece　was　not　of　the　unfeminine　〃blue〃　order。

〃I　don't　really　like　any　work；〃　said　Erica；　〃but；　of　course；　a　certain　amount　must　be　done；　and　I　like　to　knit　my　father's　socks。〃

Mr。　Fane…Smith；　who　had　just　joined　them；　took　note　of　this　answer；　and　it　seemed　to　surprise　and　displease　him；　though　he　made　no　remark。

〃Did　he　think　that　atheists　didn't　wear　socks？　Or　that　their　daughters　couldn't　knit？〃　thought　Erica　to　herself；　with　a　little　resentful　inward　laugh。

The　fact　was　that　Mr。　Fane…Smith　saw　more　and　more　plainly　that　the　niece　whom　his　wife　was　so　anxious　to　adopt　was　by　no　means　his　ideal　of　a　convert。　　Of　course　he　was　really　and　honestly　thankful　that　she　had　adopted　Christianity；　but　it　chafed　him　sorely　that　she　had　not　exactly　adopted　his　own　views。　　He　was　a　man　absolutely　convinced　that　there　is　but　one　form　of　truth；　and　an　exceedingly　narrow　form　he　made　it；　for　all　mankind。　　He　Mr。　Fane…Smith　had　exactly　grasped　the　whole　truth；　and　whoever　swerved　to　the　right　or　to　the　left；　if　only　by　a　hair's　breadth；　was；　he　considered；　in　a　dangerous　and　lamentable　condition。　　Ah！　He　thought　to　himself；　if　only　he　had　had　from　the　beginning　the　opportunity　of　influencing　Erica；　instead　of　that　dangerously　broad　Charles　Osmond。　　It　did　not　strike　him　that　he　HAD　had　the　opportunity　ever　since　his　return　to　England；　but　had　entirely　declined　to　admit　an　atheist　to　his　house。　　Other　men　had　labored；　and　he　had　entered　into　the　fruit　of　their　labors；　and　not　finding　it　quite　to　his　taste；　fancied　that　he　could　have　managed　much　better。

There　are　few　sadder　things　in　the　world　than　to　see　really　good　and　well…intentioned　men　fighting　for　what　they　consider　the　religious　cause　with　the　devil's　weapons。　　Mr。　Fane…Smith　would　have　been　dismayed　if　any　one　could　have　shown　him　that　all　his　life　he　had　been　struggling　to　suppress　unbelief　by　what　was　infinitely　worse　than　sincere　unbelief　denunciation　often　untrue；　always　unjust；　invariably　uncharitable。　　He　would　have　been　almost　broken…hearted　could　he　ever　have　known　that　his　hard　intolerance；　his　narrowness；　his　domineering　injustice　had　not　deterred　one　soul　from　adopting　the　views　he　abhorred；　but　had；　on　the　contrary；　done　a　great　deal　to　drive　into　atheism　those　who　were　wavering。　　And　this　evening；　even　while　lamenting　that　he　had　not　been　able　to　train　up　his　niece　exactly　in　the　opinions　he　himself　held；　he　was　all　the　time　trying　her　faith　more　severely　than　a　whole　regiment　of　atheists　could　have　tried　it。

The　time　passed　heavily　enough。　　When　two　people　in　the　room　are　unhappy　and　uncomfortable；　a　sense　of　unrest　generally　falls　upon　the　other　occupants。　　Rose　yawned；　talked　fitfully　about　the　gayeties　of　the　coming　week；　worked　half　a　leaf　on　an　antimacassar；　and　sang　three　or　four　silly　little　coquettish　songs　which　somehow　jarred　on　every　one。

Mrs。　Fane…Smith；　feeling　anxious　and　harassed；　afraid　alike　of　vexing　her　husband　and　offending　her　niece；　talked　kindly　and　laboriously。　　Erica　turned　the　heel　of　her　sock　and　responded　as　well　as　she　could；　her　sensitiveness　recoiling　almost　as　much　from　the　labored　and　therefore　oppressive　kindness；　as　from　the　irritating　and　narrow　censure　which　Mr。　Fane…Smith　dealt　out　to　the　world。

Family　prayers　followed。　　It　was　the　first　time　she　had　ever　been　present　at　such　a　household　gathering；　and　the　idea　seemed　to　her　a　very　beautiful　one。　　But　the　function　proved　so　formal　and　lifeless　that　it　chilled　her　more　than　anything。　　Yet　her　relations　were　so　very　kind　to　her　personally　that　she　blamed　herself　for　feeling　disappointed；　and　struggled　hard　to　pierce　through　the　outer　shell；　which　she　knew　only　concealed　their　real　goodness。　　She　knew；　too；　that　she　had　herself　to　blame　in　part；　her　oversensitiveness；　her　quick　temper；　her　want　of　deep　insight　had　all　had　their　share　in　making　that　evening　such　a　blank　failure。

Mrs。　Fane…Smith　went　with　her　into　her　bedroom　to　see　that　she　had　all　she　wanted。　　Though　the　September　evening　was　mild；　a　fire　blazed　in　the　grate；　much　to　Erica's　astonishment。　　Not　on　the　most　freezing　of　winter　nights　had　she　ever　enjoyed　such　a　luxury。　　Her　aunt　explained　that　the　room　looked　north；　and；　besides；　she　thought　a　fire　was　cheerful　and　home…like。

〃You　are　very　kind；〃　said　Erica；　warmly；　〃but　you　know　I　mustn't　let　you　spoil　me；　or　I　shall　not　be　fit　to　go　back　to　the　home　life；　and　I　want　to　go　home　much　more　fit　for　it。〃

Something　in　the　spontaneous　warmth　and　confidence　of　this　speech　cheered　Mrs。　Fane…Smith。　　She　wished　above　all　things　to　win　her　niece's　love　and　confidence；　and　she　wisely　reserved　her　proposal　as　to　the　matter　of　a　home　for　another　time。　　It　was　necessary；　however；　that　she　should　give　Erica　a　hint　as　to　the　topics　likely　to　irritate　Mr。　Fane…Smith。

〃I　think；　dear；〃　she　began；　〃it　would　be　as　well　if；　when　my　husband　and　Rose　are　present；　you　are　careful　not　to　speak　of　your　father。　　You　won't　mind　my　saying　this；　but　I　know　it　displeases　my　husband；　and　I　think　you　will　understand　that　there　are　objections　society；　you　know；　and　public　opinion；　we　must　consult　it　a　little。　〃

Mrs。　Fane…Smith　grew　nervous　and　incoherent；　threw　her　arms　round　her　niece's　neck；　kissed　her　most　affectionately；　and　wished　her　good　night。

When　she　left　the　room；　Erica's　repressed　indignation　blazed　up。　　We　fear　it　must　be　recorded　that　she　fairly　stamped　with　anger。

Wounded　in　her　tenderest　part；　indignant　at　the　insult　to　her　father；　ashamed　of　her　own　want　of　control；　miserably　perplexed　by　her　new　surroundings；　it　was　long　before　she　could　compose　herself。　　She　paced　up　and　down　the　richly　furnished　room；　struggling　hard　to　conquer　her　anger。　　At　length；　by　a　happy　impulse；　she　caught　up　her　prayer　book；　checked　her　longing　to　walk　rapidly　to　and　fro；　sat　down　on　the　Indian　rug　before　the　fire；　and　read　the　evening　psalm。　　It　happened　to　be　the　thirty…seventh。　　Nothing　could　have　calmed　her　so　effectually　as　its　tender　exhortation；　its　wonderful　sympathy　with　human　nature。　　〃〃Fret　not　thyself；　else　shalt　thou　be　moved　to　do　evil。　　Put　thou　thy　trust　in　the　Lord；　and　be　doing　good。　　Put　thy　trust　in　Him；　and　He　will　bring　it　to　pass。

She　closed　the　book；　and　sat　musing；　her　anger　quite　passed　away。

All　at　once　she　recollected　old　Elspeth；　the　nurse。　　Her　father　had　charged　her　with　many　messages　to　the　faithful　old　servant；　and　so　had　her　aunt。　　She　felt　ashamed　to　think　that　she　had　been　several　hours　in　the　house　without　delivering　them。　　Rose's　room　was　close　to　hers。　　She　went　out；　and　knocked　softly　at　the　door。

〃I　just　came　to　see　whether　Elspeth　was　here；〃　she　said；　rather　dismayed　to　find　the　candles　out；　and　the　room　only　lighted　up　by　the　red　glow　from　the　fire。

Rose　who　had　had　no　temper　to　conquer；　was　already　in　bed。〃Still　in　your　dress！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃I　believe　you've　been　at　that　Browning　again。　　But　did　no　one　come　to　help　you？　　I　sent　Gemma。〃

〃I　didn't　want　help；　thank　you；〃　said　Erica。　　〃I　only　wanted　to　see　Elspeth　because　I　have　a　message　for　her。〃

〃How　conscientious　you　are！〃　said　Rose；　laughing。　　〃I　always　make　a　point　of　forgetting　messages　when　I　go　from　home。　　Well；　you　will　find　Elspeth　in　the　little　room　on　the　next　half　landing；　the　work　room。　　She　was　here　not　two　minutes　ago。　　Good　night！　　Breakfast　is　at　nine；　you　know；　and　they'll　bring　you　a　cup　of　tea　when　they　call　you。〃

A　little　shyly；　Erica　made　her　way　to　the　work　room　where　Elspeth　was　tacking　frilling　into　one　of　Rose's　dresses。　　The　old　woman　started　up　with　a　quick　exclamation　when　she　appeared　in　the　doorway。

〃May　I　come　in？〃　said　Erica；　with　all　the　charm　of　manner　which　she　had　inherited　from　her　father。　　〃'Tis　very　late；　but　I　didn't　like　to　go　to　bed　without　seeing　you。〃

〃I　hope　missie　has　everything　she　wants？〃　asked　Elspeth；　anxiously。

〃Yes；　indeed！〃　said　Erica。　　〃All　I　want　is　to　see　you；　and　to　give　you　my　father's　love；　to　ask　how　you　are。　　He　and　Aunt　Jean　have　often　told　me　about　you。　　You　have　not　forgotten　them？〃

〃Forgotten！　　No；　indeed！〃　cried　old　Elspeth。　　〃When　I　saw　you　at　'Takin'　the　book；'　and　saw　you　so　like　your　poor　father；　I　could　have　cried。　　You　are　Mr。　Luke's　bairn；　and　no　mistake；　my　bonny　lassie！　Ah；　I　mind　the　day　well　when　he　came　to　my　room　the　auld　nursery　in　the　parsonage；　where　I　had　reared　him　and　told　me　that　master　had　ordered　him　out　of　the　house。　　I　pray　God　I　may　never　again　see　a　face　look　as　his　looked　then！〃

Tears　started　to　her　eyes　at　the　recollection。　　Erica　threw　her　arms　round　her　neck；　and　kissed　her。

〃You　love　him　still。　　I　see　you　love　him！〃　she　exclaimed；　all　her　feeling　of　isolation　melting　in　the　assurance　of　the　old　servant's　sympathy。

So；　after　all；　Erica　had　a　maid　in　attendance；　for　Elspeth　insisted　on　seeing　her　to　bed；　and；　since　they　talked　all　the　time　about　the　old　Scotch　days；　she　was　well　content　to　renounce　her　independence　for　a　little　while。

But；　whether　because　of　the　flickering　fire　light；　or　because　of　the　strangeness　of　the　great　brass　bedstead；　with　its　silken　hangings　and　many…colored　Indian　rezai；　Erica　slept　very　little　that　night。