n I understood him； or fancied that I did。 Again my feelings of pleasure expanded themselves to all around me； and if any man from Oxford or Cambridge； or from neither； had been announced to me in my unpretending cottage； I should have welcomed him with as sumptuous a reception as so poor a man could offer。 Whatever else was wanting to a wise man's happiness； of laudanum I would have given him as much as he wished； and in a golden cup。 And； by the way； now that I speak of giving laudanum away； I remember about this time a little incident； which I mention because； trifling as it was； the reader will soon meet it again in my dreams； which it influenced more fearfully than could be imagined。 One day a Malay knocked at my door。 What business a Malay could have to transact amongst English mountains I cannot conjecture； but possibly he was on his road to a seaport about forty miles distant。
The servant who opened the door to him was a young girl； born and bred amongst the mountains； who had never seen an Asiatic dress of any sort； his turban therefore confounded her not a little； and as it turned out that his attainments in English were exactly of the same extent as hers in the Malay； there seemed to be an impassable gulf fixed between all communication of ideas； if either party had happened to possess any。 In this dilemma； the girl； recollecting the reputed learning of her master （and doubtless giving me credit for a knowledge of all the languages of the earth besides perhaps a few of the lunar ones）； came and gave me to understand that there was a sort of demon below； whom she clearly imagined that my art could exorcise from the house。 I did not immediately go down； but when I did； the group which presented itself； arranged as it was by accident； though not very elaborate； took hold of my fancy and my eye in a way that none of the statuesque attitudes exhibited in the ballets at the Opera…house； though so ostentatiously complex； had ever done。 In a cottage kitchen； but panelled on the wall with dark wood that from age and rubbing resembled oak； and looking more like a rustic hall of entrance than a kitchen； stood the Malayhis turban and loose trousers of dingy white relieved upon the dark panelling。 He had placed himself nearer to the girl than she seemed to relish； though her native spirit of mountain intrepidity contended with the feeling of simple awe which her countenance expressed as she gazed upon the tiger…cat before her。 And a more striking picture there could not be imagined than the beautiful English face of the girl； and its exquisite fairness； together with her erect and independent attitude； contrasted with the sallow and bilious skin of the Malay； enamelled or veneered with mahogany by marine air； his small； fierce； restless eyes； thin lips； slavish gestures and adorations。 Half…hidden by the ferocious…looking Malay was a little child from a neighbouring cottage who had crept in after him； and was now in the act of reverting its head and gazing upwards at the turban and the fiery eyes beneath it； whilst with one hand he caught at the dress of the young woman for protection。 My knowledge of the Oriental tongues is not remarkably extensive； being indeed confined to two wordsthe Arabic word for barley and the Turkish for opium （madjoon）； which I have learned from Anastasius； and as I had neither a Malay dictionary nor even Adelung's Mithridates； which might have helped me to a few words； I addressed him in some lines from the Iliad； considering that； of such languages as I possessed； Greek； in point of longitude； came geographically nearest to an Oriental one。 He worshipped me in a most devout manner； and replied in what I suppose was Malay。 In this way I saved my reputation with my neighbours； for the Malay had no means of betraying the secret。 He lay down upon the floor for about an hour； and then pursued his journey。 On his departure I presented him with a piece of opium。 To him； as an Orientalist； I concluded that opium must be familiar； and the expression of his face convinced me that it was。 Nevertheless； I was struck with some little consternation when I saw him suddenly raise his hand to his mouth； and； to use the schoolboy phrase； bolt the whole； divided into three pieces； at one mouthful。 The quantity was enough to kill three dragoons and their horses； and I felt some alarm for the poor creature； but what could be done？ I had given him the opium in compassion for his solitary life； on recollecting that if he had travelled on foot from London it must be nearly three weeks since he could have exchanged a thought with any human being。 I could not think of violating the laws of hospitality by having him seized and drenched with an emetic； and thus frightening him into a notion that we were going to sacrifice him to some English idol。 No： there was clearly no help for it。 He took his leave； and for some days I felt anxious； but as I never heard of any Malay being found dead； I became convinced that he was used ｛17｝ to opium； and that I must have done him the service I designed by giving him one night of respite from the pains of wandering。
This incident I have digressed to mention； because this Malay （partly from the picturesque exhibition he assisted to frame； partly from the anxiety I connected with his image for some days） fastened afterwards upon my dreams； and brought other Malays with him； worse than himself； that ran 〃a…muck〃 ｛18｝ at me； and led me into a world of troubles。 But to quit this episode； and to return to my intercalary year of happiness。 I have said already； that on a subject so important to us all as happiness； we should listen with pleasure to any man's experience or experiments； even though he were but a plough…boy； who cannot be supposed to have ploughed very deep into such an intractable soil as that of human pains and pleasures； or to have conducted his researches upon any very enlightened principles。 But I who have taken happiness both in a solid and liquid shape； both boiled and unboiled； both East India and Turkey who have conducted my experiments upon this interesting subject with a sort of galvanic battery； and have； for the general benefit of the world； inoculated myself； as it were； with the poison of 8000 drops of laudanum per day （just for the same reason as a French surgeon inoculated himself lately with cancer； an English one twenty years ago with plague； and a third； I know not of what nation； with hydrophobia）； I （it will be admitted） must surely know what happiness is； if anybody does。 And therefore I will here lay down an analysis of happiness； and as the most interesting mode of communicating it； I will give it； not didactically； but wrapped up and involved in a picture of one evening； as I spent every evening during the intercalary year when laudanum； though taken daily； was to me no more than the elixir of pleasure。 This done； I shall quit the subject of happiness altogether； and pass to a very different oneTHE PAINS OF OPIUM。
Let there be a cottage standing in a valley； eighteen miles from any townno spacious valley； but about two miles long by three…quarters of a mile in average width； the benefit of which provision is that all the family resident within its circuit will compose； as it were； one larger household； personally familiar to your eye； and more or less interesting to your affections。 Let the mountains be real mountains； between 3；000 and 4；000 feet high； and the cottage a real cottage； not （as a witty author has it） 〃a cottage with a double coach…house；〃 let it be； in fact （for I must abide by the actual scene）； a white cottage； embowered with flowering shrubs； so chosen as to unfold a succession of flowers upon the walls and clustering round the windows through all the months of spring； summer； and autumnbeginning； in fact； with May roses； and ending with jasmine。 Let it； however； NOT be spring； nor summer； nor autumn； but winter in his sternest shape。 This is a most important point in the science of happiness。 And I am surprised to see people overlook it； and think it matter of congratulation that winter is going； or； if coming； is not likely to be a severe one。 On the contrary； I put up a petition annually for as much snow； hail； frost； or storm； of one kind or other； as the skies can possibly afford us。 Surely everybody is aware of the divine pleasures which attend a winter fireside； candles at four o'clock； warm hearth…rugs； tea； a fair tea…maker； shutters closed； curtains flowing in ample draperies on the floor； whilst the wind and rain are raging audibly without；
And at the doors and windows seem to call； As heav'n and earth they would together mell； Yet the least entrance find they none at all； Whence sweeter grows our rest secure in massy hall。 Castle of Indolence。
All these are items in the description of a winter evening which must surely be familiar to everybody born in a high latitude。 And it is evident that most of these delicacies； like ice…cream； require a very low temperature of the atmosphere to produce them； they are fruits which cannot be ripened without weather stormy or inclement in some way or other。 I am not 〃PARTICULAR；〃 as people say； whether it be snow； or black frost； or wind so strong that