seal； which Jesus will come and break with His own hands。〃
He went to the side of the spring； and took a handful of wet clay；
mixed with it a little spittle and a hair from his head； and plastered
it across the chink of the door。 Then； approaching the window； near
which Thais stood peaceful and happy； he fell on his knees and praised
the Lord three times。
〃How beautiful are the feet of her who walketh in the paths of
righteousness！ How beautiful are her feet； and how resplendent her
face！〃
He rose； lowered his hood over his eyes； and walked away slowly。
Albina called one of her virgins。
〃My daughter；〃 she said； 〃take to Thais those things which are needful
for herbread； water； and a flute with three holes。〃
PART THE THIRD
THE EUPHORBIA
Paphnutius had returned to the holy desert。 He took； near Athribis；
the boat which went up the Nile to carry food to the monastery of
Abbot Serapion。 When he disembarked； his disciples advanced to meet
him with great demonstrations of joy。 Some raised their arms to
heaven； others； prostrate on the ground； kissed the Abbot's sandals。
For they knew already what the saint had accomplished in Alexandria。
The monks generally received； by rapid and unknown means； information
concerning the safety or glory of the Church。 News spread through the
desert with the rapidity of the simoon。
When Paphnutius strode across the sand； his disciples followed him；
praising the Lord。 Flavian； who was the oldest member of the
brotherhood； was suddenly seized with a pious frenzy and began to sing
an inspired hymn
〃O blessed day！ Now is our father restored to us。
He has returned laden with fresh merits； of which we reap the benefit。
For the virtues of the father are the wealth of the children； and
the sanctity of the Abbot illuminates every cell。
Paphnutius； our father； has given a new spouse to Jesus Christ。
By his wondrous art； he has changed a black sheep into a white sheep。
And now； behold； he has returned to us； laden with fresh merits。
Like unto the bee of the Arsinoetid； heavy with the nectar of flowers。
Even as the ram of Nubia； which could hardly bear the weight of its
abundant wool。
Let us celebrate this day by mingling oil with our food。〃
When they came to the door of the Abbot's cell； they fell on their
knees； and said
〃Let our father bless us； and give each of us a measure of oil to
celebrate his return。〃
Paul the Fool； who alone had remained standing； asked； 〃Who is this
man？〃 and did not recognise Paphnutius。 But no one paid any attention
to what he said； as he was known to be devoid of intelligence； though
filled with piety。
The Abbot of Antinoe； locked in his cell； thought
〃I have at last regained the haven of my repose and happiness。 I have
returned to my fortress of contentment。 But how is it that this roof
of rushes； so dear to me； does not receive me as a friend； and the
walls say not to me； 'Thou art welcome。' Nothing has changed； since my
departure； in this abode I have chosen。 There is my table and my bed。
There is the mummy's head which has so often inspired me with salutary
thoughts； and there is the book in which I have so often sought
conceptions of God。 And yet nothing that I left is here。 The things
appear grievously despoiled of their customary charm； and it seems to
me as though I saw them to…day for the first time。 When I look at that
table and couch； that in former days I made with my own hands； that
black； dried head； these rolls of papyrus filled with the sayings of
God； I seem to see the belongings of a dead man。 After having known
them all so well； I know them no longer。 Alas！ since nothing around me
has really changed； it is I who am no longer what I was。 I am another。
I am the dead man！ What has happened； my God？ What has been taken from
me？ What is left unto me？ And who am I？〃
And it especially perplexed him to find； in spite of himself； that his
cell was small； whereas； when viewed by the eye of faith； he ought to
consider it immense； because the infinitude of God began there。
He began to pray； with his face against the ground； and felt a little
happier。 He had hardly been an hour in prayer； when a vision of Thais
passed before his eyes。 He returned thanks to God
〃Jesus！ it is Thou who hast sent her。 I acknowledge in that Thy
wonderful goodness； Thou wouldst please me； reassure me and comfort me
by the sight of her whom I have given to Thee。 Thou； presentest her to
my eyes with her smile now disarmed； her grace； now become innocent；
her beauty from which I have extracted the sting。 To please me； my
God； thou showest her to me as I have prepared and purified her for
Thy designs； as one friend pleasantly reminds another of the rich gift
he has received from him。 Therefore I see this woman with delight；
being assured that the vision comes from Thee。 Thou dost not forget
that I have given her to Thee； Jesus。 Keep her； since she pleases
Thee； and suffer not her beauty to give joy to any but Thyself。〃
He could not sleep all night； and he saw Thais more distinctly than he
had seen her in the Grotto of Nymphs。 He commended himself； saying
〃What I have done； I have done to the glory of God。〃
Yet； to his great surprise； his heart was not at ease。 He sighed。
〃Why art thou sad； O my soul； and why dost thou trouble me？〃
And his mind was still perturbed。 Thirty days he remained in that
condition of sadness which precedes the sore trials of a solitary
monk。 The image of Thais never left him day or night。 He did not try
to banish it； because he still thought it came from God； and was the
image of a saint。 But one morning she visited him in a dream； her hair
crowned with violets； and her very gentleness seemed so formidable；
that he uttered a cry of fright； and woke in an icy sweat。 His eyes
were still heavy with sleep； when he felt a moist warm breath on his
face。 A little jackal； its two paws placed on the side of the bed； was
panting its stinking breath in his face； and grinning at him。
Paphnutius was greatly astonished； and it seemed to him as though a
tower had given way under his feet。 And； in fact； he had fallen； for
his self…confidence had gone。 For some time he was incapable of
thought and when he did recover himself； his meditations only
increased his perplexity。
〃It is one of two things；〃 he said to himself； 〃either this vision；
like the preceding ones； came from God； and was a good vision； and it
is my natural perversity which has misrepresented it； as wine turns
sour in a dirty cup。 I have； by my unworthiness； changed instruction
into reproach； of which this diabolical jackal immediately took
advantage。 Or else this vision came； not from God； but； on the
contrary； from the devil； and was evil。 In that case I should doubt
whether the former ones had； as I thought； a celestial origin。 I am
therefore incapable of that discernment which is necessary for the
ascetic。 In either case it is plain that God is no longer with me；of
which I feel the effects； though I cannot explain the cause。〃
He reasoned in this way； and anxiously asked
〃Just God； what trials dost Thou appoint for Thy servants if the
apparitions of Thy saints are a danger for them？ Give me to discern；
by an intelligible sign； that which comes from Thee； and that which
comes from the other。〃
And as God； whose designs are inscrutable； did not see fit to
enlighten his servant； Paphnutius； lost in doubt； resolved not to
think of Thais any more。 But his resolutions were vain。 Though absent；
she was ever with him。 She gazed at him whilst he read； or meditated；
or prayed； or met his eyes wherever he looked。 Her imaginary approach
was heralded by a slight sound； such as is made by a woman's dress
when she walks； and the visions had more verisimilitude than reality
itself； which moves and is confused； whereas the phantoms which are
caused by solitude are fixed and unchangeable。 She came under various
appearancessometimes pensive； her head crowned with her last
perishable wreath； clad as at the banquet at Alexandria； in a mauve
robe spangled with silver flowers； sometimes voluptuously in a cloud
of light veils； and bathed in the warm shadows of the Grotto of
Nymphs； sometimes in a serge cassock； pious and radiant with celestial
joy； sometimes tragic； her eyes swimming in the terrors of death； and
showing her bare breast bedewed with the blood from her pierced heart。
What disturbed him the most in these visions was that the wreaths；
tunics； and veils； that he had burned with his own hands； should thus
return； it became evident to him that these things had an imperishable
soul； and he cried
〃Lo； all the countless souls of the sins of Thais come upon me！〃
When he turned away his head； he felt that Thais was behind him； and
that made him feel still more uneasy。 His torture was cruel。 But as
his soul and body remained pure in the midst of all his temptations；
he trusted in God； and gently complained to Him。
〃My God； if I went so far to seek her amongst the Gentiles； it was for
Thy sake； and not for mine。 It would not be just that I should suffer
for what I have done in Thy behalf。 Protect me； sweet Jesus！ My
Saviour； sa