Thy sake； and not for mine。 It would not be just that I should suffer
for what I have done in Thy behalf。 Protect me； sweet Jesus！ My
Saviour； save me！ Suffer not the phantom to accomplish that which the
body could not。 As I have triumphed over the flesh； suffer not the
shadow to overthrow me。 I know that I am now exposed to greater
dangers than I ever ran。 I feel and know that the dream has more power
than the reality。 And how could it be otherwise； since it is itself
but a higher reality？ It is the soul of things。 Plato； though he was
but an idolater； has testified to the real existence of ideas。 At that
banquet of demons to which Thou accompaniedst me； Lord； I heard men
sullied with crimes truly； but certainly not devoid of intelligence
agree to acknowledge that we see real objects in solitude； meditation；
and ecstasy； and Thy Scriptures； my God； many times affirm the virtue
of dreams； and the power of visions formed either by Thee； great God；
or by Thy adversary。〃
There was a new man in him and now he reasoned with God； but God did
not choose to enlighten him。 His nights were one long dream； and his
days did not differ from his nights。 One morning he awoke uttering
sighs； such as issue； by moonlight； from the tombs of the victims of
crimes。 Thais had come； showing her bleeding feet； and whilst he wept；
she had slipped into his couch。 There was no longer any doubt； the
image of Thais was an impure image。
His heart filled with disgust； he leaped out of his profaned couch；
and hid his face in his hands that he might not see the daylight。 The
hours passed； but they did not remove his shame。 All was quiet in the
cell。 For the first time for many long days； Paphnutius was alone。 The
phantom had at last left him； and even its absence seemed dreadful。
Nothing； nothing to distract his mind from the recollection of the
dream。 Full of horror； he thought
〃Why did I not drive her away？ Why did I not tear myself from her cold
arms and burning knees？〃
He no longer dared to pronounce the name of God near that horrible
couch； and he feared that his cell being profaned； the demons might
freely enter at any hour。 His fears did not deceive him。 The seven
little jackals； which had never crossed the threshold； entered in a
file； and went and hid under the bed。 At the vesper hour； there came
an eighth； the stench of which was horrible。 The next day； a ninth
joined the others； and soon there were thirty； then sixty； then
eighty。 They became smaller as they multiplied； and being no bigger
than rats； they covered the floor； the couch； and the stool。 One of
them jumped on the little table by the side of the bed； and standing
with its four feet together on the death's head； looked at the monk
with burning eyes。 And every day fresh jackals came。
To expiate the abominable sin of his dream； and flee from impure
thoughts； Paphnutius determined to leave his cell； which had now
become polluted； go far into the desert； and practise unheard…of
austerities； strange labours； and fresh works of grace。 But before
putting his design into action； he went to see old Palemon and ask his
advice。
He found him in his garden watering his lettuces。 It was the evening。
The blue Nile flowed at the foot of violet hills。 The good old man was
walking slowly； in order not to frighten a pigeon that had perched on
his shoulder。
〃The Lord be with thee； brother Paphnutius；〃 he said。 〃Admire his
goodness； He sends me the animals that He has created that I may
converse with them of His works； and praise Him in the birds of the
air。 Look at this pigeon； note the changing hues of its neck； and say；
is it not a beautiful work of God？ But have you not come to talk with
me； brother； on some pious subject？ If so； I will put down my
watering…pot； and listen to you。〃
Paphnutius told the old man about his journey； his return； the visions
of his days and the dreams of his nights；without omitting the sinful
oneand the pack of jackals。
〃Do you not think； father；〃 he added； 〃that I ought to bury myself in
the desert； and perform some extraordinary austerities that would even
astonish the devil？〃
〃I am but a poor sinner；〃 replied Palemon； 〃and I know little about
men； having passed all my life in this garden； with gazelles； little
hares and pigeons。 But it seems to me； brother； that your distemper
comes from your having passed too suddenly from the noisy world to the
calm of solitude。 Such sudden transitions can but do harm to the
health of the soul。 You are； brother； like a man who exposes himself；
almost at the same time； to great heat and great cold。 A cough shakes
him； and fever torments him。 In your place； brother Paphnutius；
instead of retiring at once into some awful desert； I should take such
amusements as are fitting to a monk and a holy abbot。 I should visit
the monasteries in the neighbourhood。 Some of them are wonderful； it
is said。 That of Abbot Serapion contains； I have been told； a thousand
four hundred and thirty…two cells； and the monks are divided into as
many legions as there are letters in the Greek alphabet。 I am even
informed that a certain analogy is observed between the character of
the monks and the shape of the letter by which they are designated；
and that； for example； those who are placed under Z have a tortuous
character； whilst those under I have an upright mind。 If I were you；
brother； I should go and assure myself of this with my own eyes； and I
should know no rest until I had seen such a wonderful thing。 I should
not fail to study the regulations of the various communities which are
scattered along the banks of the Nile； so as to be able to compare one
with another。 Such study is befitting a religious man like yourself。
You have heard say； no doubt； that Abbot Ephrem has drawn up for his
monastery pious regulations of great beauty。 With his permission； you
might make a copy of them； as you are a skilful penman。 I could not do
so； for my hands； accustomed to wield the spade； are too awkward to
direct the thin reed of the scribe over the papyrus。 But you have the
knowledge of letters； brother； and should thank God for it； for
beautiful writing cannot be too much admired。 The work of the copyist
and the reader is a great safeguard against evil thoughts。 Brother
Paphnutius； why do you not write out the teachings of our fathers；
Paul and Anthony？ Little by little you would recover； in these pious
works； peace of soul and mind； solitude would again become pleasant to
your heart； and soon you would be in a condition to recommence those
ascetic works which your journey has interrupted。 But you must not
expect much benefit from excessive penitence。 When he was amongst us；
our Father Anthony used to say； 'Excessive fasting produces weakness；
and weakness begets idleness。 There are some monks who ruin their body
by fasts improperly prolonged。 Of them it may be said that they plunge
a dagger into their own breast； and deliver themselves up
unresistingly into the power of the devil。' So said the holy man；
Anthony。 I am but a foolish old man； but； by the grace of God； I have
remembered what our father told us。〃
Paphnutius thanked Palemon and promised to think over his advice。 When
he had passed the fence of reeds which enclosed the little garden； he
turned round and saw the good old gardener engaged in watering his
salads； whilst the pigeon walked about on his bent back； and at that
sight Paphnutius felt ready to weep。
On returning to his cell； he found there a strange turmoil； as though
it were filled with grains of sand blown about by a strong wind； and
on looking closer； he saw these moving bodies were myriads of little
jackals。 That night he saw in a dream； a high stone column surmounted
by a human face； and he heard a voice which said
〃Ascend this pillar！〃
On awaking； he felt confident that this dream had been sent from
heaven。 He called his disciples； and addressed them in these words
〃My beloved sons； I must leave you； and go where God sends me。 During
my absence obey Flavian as you would me； and take care of our brother
Paul。 Bless you。 Farewell。〃
As he strode away； they remained prostrate on the ground； and when
they raised their heads； they saw his tall dark figure on the sandy
horizon。
He walked day and night until he reached the ruins of the temple；
formerly built by the idolaters； in which he had slept amongst the
scorpions and sirens on his former strange journey。 The walls； covered
with magic signs； were still standing。 Thirty immense columns； which
terminated in human heads or lotus flowers； still supported a heavy
stone entablature。 But； at one end of the temple； a pillar had shaken
off its old burden； and stood isolated。 It had for its capital the
head of a woman which smiled； with long eyes and rounded cheeks； and
on her forehead cow's horns。
Paphnutius； on seeing it； recognised the column which had been shown
him in his dream； and he calculated that it was thirty…two cubits
high。 He went to the neighbouring village； and ordered a ladder of
that height to be made； and when the ladder was placed against the
pillar； he ascended； knelt down on the top； and said to the Lord
〃Here； then； O God； is