regular sanatorium。 The only trouble is； that the little good…for…
nothings that come of utterly used…up and worn…out stock； and ought
to die； can't die； to save their lives。 So they grow up to dilute
the vigor of the race with skim…milk vitality。 They would have died；
like good children； in most average country places； but eight months
of shelter in a regulated temperature； in a well…sunned house； in a
duly moistened air； with good sidewalks to go about on in all
weather； and four months of the cream of summer and the fresh milk of
Jersey cows； make the little sham organizationsthe worm…eaten wind…
falls； for that 's what they look likehang on to the boughs of life
like 〃froze…n…thaws〃； regular struldbrugs they come to be； a good
many of 'em。
The Scarabee's ear was caught by that queer word of Swift's； and he
asked very innocently what kind of bugs he was speaking of； whereupon
That Boy shouted out； Straddlebugs！ to his own immense amusement and
the great bewilderment of the Scarabee； who only saw that there was
one of those unintelligible breaks in the conversation which made
other people laugh； and drew back his antennae as usual； perplexed；
but not amused。
I do not believe the Master had said all he was going to say on this
subject； and of course all these statements of his are more or less
one…sided。 But that some invalids do much better in cities than in
the country is indisputable； and that the frightful dysenteries and
fevers which have raged like pestilences in many of our country towns
are almost unknown in the better built sections of some of our large
cities is getting to be more generally understood since our well…to…
do people have annually emigrated in such numbers from the cemented
surface of the city to the steaming soil of some of the dangerous
rural districts。 If one should contrast the healthiest country
residences with the worst city ones the result would be all the other
way； of course； so that there are two sides to the question； which we
must let the doctors pound in their great mortar； infuse and strain；
hoping that they will present us with the clear solution when they
have got through these processes。 One of our chief wants is a
complete sanitary map of every State in the Union。
The balance of our table； as the reader has no doubt observed； has
been deranged by the withdrawal of the Man of Letters； so called； and
only the side of the deficiency changed by the removal of the Young
Astronomer into our neighborhood。 The fact that there was a vacant
chair on the side opposite us had by no means escaped the notice of
That Boy。 He had taken advantage of his opportunity and invited in a
schoolmate whom he evidently looked upon as a great personage。 This
boy or youth was a good deal older than himself and stood to him
apparently in the light of a patron and instructor in the ways of
life。 A very jaunty； knowing young gentleman he was； good…looking；
smartly dressed； smooth…checked as yet； curly…haired； with a roguish
eye； a sagacious wink； a ready tongue； as I soon found out； and as I
learned could catch a ball on the fly with any boy of his age； not
quarrelsome； but； if he had to strike； hit from the shoulder； the
pride of his father （who was a man of property and a civic
dignitary）； and answering to the name of Johnny。
I was a little surprised at the liberty That Boy had taken in
introducing an extra peptic element at our table； reflecting as I did
that a certain number of avoirdupois ounces of nutriment which the
visitor would dispose of corresponded to a very appreciable pecuniary
amount； so that he was levying a contribution upon our Landlady which
she might be inclined to complain of。 For the Caput mortuum （or
deadhead； in vulgar phrase） is apt to be furnished with a Venter
vivus； or； as we may say； a lively appetite。 But the Landlady
welcomed the new…comer very heartily。
Why！ howdoyoudo Johnny？！ with the notes of interrogation and
of admiration both together； as here represented。
Johnny signified that he was doing about as well as could be expected
under the circumstances； having just had a little difference with a
young person whom he spoke of as 〃Pewter…jaw〃 （I suppose he had worn
a dentist's tooth…straightening contrivance during his second
dentition）； which youth he had finished off； as he said； in good
shape； but at the expense of a slight epistaxis； we will translate
his vernacular expression。
The three ladies all looked sympathetic； but there did not seem to
be any great occasion for it； as the boy had come out all right； and
seemed to be in the best of spirits。
…And how is your father and your mother？ asked the Landlady。
…Oh； the Governor and the Head Centre？ A 1； both of 'em。 Prime
order for shipping；warranted to stand any climate。 The Governor
says he weighs a hunderd and seventy…five pounds。 Got a chin…tuft
just like Ed'in Forrest。 D'd y' ever see Ed'in Forrest play
Metamora？ Bully； I tell you！ My old gentleman means to be Mayor or
Governor or President or something or other before he goes off the
handle； you'd better b'lieve。 He's smart；and I've heard folks say
I take after him。
Somehow or other I felt as if I had seen this boy before； or known
something about him。 Where did he get those expressions 〃A 1〃 and
〃prime〃 and so on？ They must have come from somebody who has been in
the retail dry…goods business； or something of that nature。 I have
certain vague reminiscences that carry me back to the early times of
this boardinghouse。…Johnny。…Landlady knows his father well。
…Boarded with her； no doubt。…There was somebody by the name of
John； I remember perfectly well； lived with her。 I remember both my
friends mentioned him； one of them very often。 I wonder if this boy
isn't a son of his！ I asked the Landlady after breakfast whether
this was not； as I had suspected； the son of that former boarder。
To be sure he is；she answered；and jest such a good…natur'd sort
of creatur' as his father was。 I always liked John； as we used to
call his father。 He did love fun； but he was a good soul； and stood
by me when I was in trouble； always。 He went into business on his
own account after a while； and got merried； and settled down into a
family man。 They tell me he is an amazing smart business man；grown
wealthy； and his wife's father left her money。 But I can't help
calling him John；law； we never thought of calling him anything
else； and he always laughs and says； 〃That's right。〃 This is his
oldest son； and everybody calls him Johnny。 That Boy of ours goes to
the same school with his boy； and thinks there never was anybody like
him；you see there was a boy undertook to impose on our boy； and
Johnny gave the other boy a good licking； and ever since that he is
always wanting to have Johnny round with him and bring him here with
him；and when those two boys get together； there never was boys that
was so chock full of fun and sometimes mischief； but not very bad
mischief； as those two boys be。 But I like to have him come once in
a while when there is room at the table； as there is now； for it puts
me in mind of the old times； when my old boarders was all round me；
that I used to think so much of；not that my boarders that I have
now a'nt very nice people； but I did think a dreadful sight of the
gentleman that made that first book； it helped me on in the world
more than ever he knew of；for it was as good as one of them
Brandreth's pills advertisements； and did n't cost me a cent； and
that young lady he merried too； she was nothing but a poor young
schoolma'am when she come to my house； and nowand she deserved it
all too； for she was always just the same； rich or poor； and she is
n't a bit prouder now she wears a camel's…hair shawl； than she was
when I used to lend her a woollen one to keep her poor dear little
shoulders warm when she had to go out and it was storming；and then
there was that old gentleman；I can't speak about him； for I never
knew how good he was till his will was opened； and then it was too
late to thank him。。。。
I respected the feeling which caused the interval of silence； and
found my own eyes moistened as I remembered how long it was since
that friend of ours was sitting in the chair where I now sit； and
what a tidal wave of change has swept over the world and more
especially over this great land of ours； since he opened his lips and
found so many kind listeners。
The Young Astronomer has read us another extract from his manuscript。
I ran my eye over it； and so far as I have noticed it is correct
enough in its versification。 I suppose we are getting gradually over
our hemispherical provincialism； which allowed a set of monks to pull
their hoods over our eyes and tell us there was no meaning in any
religious symbolism but our own。 If I am mistaken about this advance
I am very glad to print the young man's somewhat outspoken lines to
help us in that direction。
WIND…CLOUDS AND STAR…DRIFTS。
VI
The time is racked with birth…pangs； every hour
Brings forth some gasping truth； and truth new…born
Looks a misshapen and untimely growth；
The terror of the household and its shame；