excess of vitality； great feeders； great laughers； great story…
tellers； who come sweeping over their company with a huge tidal wave
of animal spirits and boisterous merriment。 I have pretty good
spirits myself； and enjoy a little mild pleasantry； but I am
oppressed and extinguished by these great lusty； noisy creatures；
and feel as if I were a mute at a funeral when they get into full
blast。
I cannot get along much better with those drooping； languid people；
whose vitality falls short as much as that of the others is in
excess。 I have not life enough for two； I wish I had。 It is not
very enlivening to meet a fellow…creature whose expression and
accents say； 〃You are the hair that breaks the camel's back of my
endurance； you are the last drop that makes my cup of woe run over〃；
persons whose heads drop on one side like those of toothless infants；
whose voices recall the tones in which our old snuffling choir used
to wail out the verses of：
〃Life is the time to serve the Lord。〃
There is another style which does not captivate me。 I recognize an
attempt at the grand manner now and then； in persons who are well
enough in their way； but of no particular importance； socially or
otherwise。 Some family tradition of wealth or distinction is apt to
be at the bottom of it； and it survives all the advantages that used
to set it off。 I like family pride as well as my neighbors； and
respect the high…born fellow…citizen whose progenitors have not
worked in their shirt…sleeves for the last two generations full as
much as I ought to。 But grand pere oblige； a person with a known
grandfather is too distinguished to find it necessary to put on airs。
The few Royal Princes I have happened to know were very easy people
to get along with； and had not half the social knee…action I have
often seen in the collapsed dowagers who lifted their eyebrows at me
in my earlier years。
My heart does not warm as it should do towards the persons； not
intimates； who are always too glad to see me when we meet by
accident； and discover all at once that they have a vast deal to
unbosom themselves of to me。
There is one blameless person whom I cannot love and have no excuse
for hating。 It is the innocent fellow…creature； otherwise
inoffensive to me； whom I find I have involuntarily joined on turning
a corner。 I suppose the Mississippi； which was flowing quietly
along； minding its own business； hates the Missouri for coming into
it all at once with its muddy stream。 I suppose the Missouri in like
manner hates the Mississippi for diluting with its limpid； but
insipid current the rich reminiscences of the varied soils through
which its own stream has wandered。 I will not compare myself； to the
clear or the turbid current； but I will own that my heart sinks when
I find all of a sudden I am in for a corner confluence； and I cease
loving my neighbor as myself until I can get away from him。
These antipathies are at least weaknesses； they may be sins in the
eye of the Recording Angel。 I often reproach myself with my wrong…
doings。 I should like sometimes to thank Heaven for saving me from
some kinds of transgression； and even for granting me some qualities
that if I dared I should be disposed to call virtues。 I should do
so； I suppose； if I did not remember the story of the Pharisee。 That
ought not to hinder me。 The parable was told to illustrate a single
virtue； humility； and the most unwarranted inferences have been drawn
from it as to the whole character of the two parties。 It seems not
at all unlikely； but rather probable； that the Pharisee was a fairer
dealer； a better husband； and a more charitable person than the
Publican； whose name has come down to us 〃linked with one virtue；〃
but who may have been guilty； for aught that appears to the contrary；
of 〃a thousand crimes。〃 Remember how we limit the application of
other parables。 The lord； it will be recollected； commended the
unjust steward because he had done wisely。 His shrewdness was held
up as an example； but after all he was a miserable swindler； and
deserved the state…prison as much as many of our financial operators。
The parable of the Pharisee and the Publican is a perpetual warning
against spiritual pride。 But it must not frighten any one of us out
of being thankful that he is not； like this or that neighbor； under
bondage to strong drink or opium； that he is not an Erie…Railroad
Manager； and that his head rests in virtuous calm on his own pillow。
If he prays in the morning to be kept out of temptation as well as
for his daily bread； shall he not return thanks at night that he has
not fallen into sin as well as that his stomach has been filled？ I
do not think the poor Pharisee has ever had fair play； and I am
afraid a good many people sin with the comforting； half…latent
intention of smiting their breasts afterwards and repeating the
prayer of the Publican。
（Sensation。）
This little movement which I have thus indicated seemed to give the
Master new confidence in his audience。 He turned over several pages
until he came to a part of the interleaved volume where we could all
see he had written in a passage of new matter in red ink as of
special interest。
I told you； he said； in Latin； and I repeat it in English； that I
have freed my soul in these pages；I have spoken my mind。 I have
read you a few extracts； most of them of rather slight texture； and
some of them； you perhaps thought； whimsical。 But I meant； if I
thought you were in the right mood for listening to it； to read you
some paragraphs which give in small compass the pith； the marrow； of
all that my experience has taught me。 Life is a fatal complaint； and
an eminently contagious one。 I took it early； as we all do； and have
treated it all along with the best palliatives I could get hold of；
inasmuch as I could find no radical cure for its evils； and have so
far managed to keep pretty comfortable under it。
It is a great thing for a man to put the whole meaning of his life
into a few paragraphs； if he does it so that others can make anything
out of it。 If he conveys his wisdom after the fashion of the old
alchemists； he may as well let it alone。 He must talk in very plain
words； and that is what I have done。 You want to know what a certain
number of scores of years have taught me that I think best worth
telling。 If I had half a dozen square inches of paper； and one
penful of ink； and five minutes to use them in for the instruction of
those who come after me； what should I put down in writing？ That is
the question。
Perhaps I should be wiser if I refused to attempt any such brief
statement of the most valuable lesson that life has taught me。 I am
by no means sure that I had not better draw my pen through the page
that holds the quintessence of my vital experiences； and leave those
who wish to know what it is to distil to themselves from my many
printed pages。 But I have excited your curiosity； and I see that you
are impatient to hear what the wisdom； or the folly； it may be； of a
life shows for； when it is crowded into a few lines as the fragrance
of a gardenful of roses is concentrated in a few drops of perfume。
By this time I confess I was myself a little excited。 What was he
going to tell us？ The Young Astronomer looked upon him with an eye
as clear and steady and brilliant as the evening star； but I could
see that he too was a little nervous； wondering what would come next。
The old Master adjusted his large round spectacles； and began：
It has cost me fifty years to find my place in the Order of Things。
I had explored all the sciences； I had studied the literature of all
ages； I had travelled in many lands； I had learned how to follow the
working of thought in men and of sentiment and instinct in women。 I
had examined for myself all the religions that could make out any
claim for themselves。 I had fasted and prayed with the monks of a
lonely convent； I had mingled with the crowds that shouted glory at
camp…meetings； I had listened to the threats of Calvinists and the
promises of Universalists； I had been a devout attendant on a Jewish
Synagogue； I was in correspondence with an intelligent Buddhist； and
I met frequently with the inner circle of Rationalists； who believed
in the persistence of Force； and the identity of alimentary
substances with virtue； and were reconstructing the universe on this
basis； with absolute exclusion of all Supernumeraries。 In these
pursuits I had passed the larger part of my half…century of
existence； as yet with little satisfaction。 It was on the morning of
my fiftieth birthday that the solution of the great problem I had
sought so long came to me as a simple formula； with a few grand but
obvious inferences。 I will repeat the substance of this final
intuition：
The one central fact an the Order of Things which solves all
questions is：
At this moment we were interrupted by a knock at the Master's door。
It was most inopportune； for he was on the point of the great
disclosure； but common politeness compelled him to answer it； and as
the step which we had heard was that of one of the softer…footed sex；
he chose to rise fro